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Football Cat’s Week 6 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on October 9, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Know Your Demon, Episode 12: The Succubus

Mythology of the Succubus
A succubus is a demon or supernatural entity in folklore and mythology, often depicted as a beautiful young woman who seduces men in their dreams, or on a flight from Massachusetts to Florida, feeds off their life energy and sometimes even causes death – or worse, she may ruin their reputation as the greatest football coach of all time! The Succubus has evolved from a terrifying figure in religious folklore to a more complex social influencer character in modern society, frequently representing temptation, seduction and danger. Her demonic nature makes her a fascinating figure in the intersection of desire, football and the supernatural.

Characteristics of the Succubus

Seductive Appearance: The Succubus typically appears as a beautiful and alluring young woman, using her physical attractiveness to manipulate and seduce her victims. She may even pretend to enjoy reading books on planes. While her outward appearance is stunning, it conceals her true demonic form, which can include bat-like wings, horns, a tail and a very snarky personality – marking her as a creature of the underworld.
Dream Manipulation: One of the Succubus’ defining traits is her ability to enter the dreams of her victims. The victim may be completely unaware that he would have been much happier hanging out with the Manning brothers every Monday Night, instead of listening to parents complain that lil’ Johnny Knoxboro isn’t getting enough playing time.
Energy Drain and Life Force Consumption: A Succubus sustains herself by feeding off the life energy (a.k.a. money) of her victims, often via multiple million dollar real estate transactions. Over time, repeated interaction with a Succubus can lead to a person’s gradual deterioration as their life force, and reputation as a football genius, is siphoned away.
Shape-Shifting and Immortality: Succubi are often portrayed as immoral demons who can take on any appearance they desire, making them highly skilled in deception. Their ability to transform allows them to infiltrate society and manipulate individuals with ease. They may appear as a cheerleader, or a philosopher, or a cheerleader philosopher, or even a philosopher cheerleader. A Succubus may claim to be a recent graduate from the New England Hair Academy but don’t be fooled, she has been ruining lives since the dawn of time.

If you suspect that you, or someone whose football acumen you love, may be under the influence of a Succubus please alert the University of North Carolina Athletic Department at (919) 843-2000 or by visiting their website, GoHeels.com!

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sunday English Muffin Time
Broncos (-7.5) at Jets
Broncos bang and mash jolly old Jets

Sunday Lunch Time
Rams (-7.5) at Ravens
Rams rout Ravens

Cowboys (-3) at Panthers
Cowboys flip off black cats

Cardinals at Colts (-7)
Indianapolis Jones rolls over red birds

Seahawks at Jaguars (-1.5)
Fake sea birds soar over spotted cats

Chargers (-4.5) at Dolphins
Bolts reel in fish

Browns at Steelers (-5.5)
Yinzers devour Brownies

Patriots (-3.5) at Saints
Krafts cook Cajuns

Sunday Dinner Time
Titans at Raiders (-3.5)
Vegas tops Tits

49ers at Buccaneers (-3)
Baker’s boys boil Mac

Bengals at Packers (-14)
Meatmen grind stripey cats

Sunday Prowl Time
Lions at Chiefs (-2.5)
Taylor’s team tames lions

Monday Prowl Time
Bills (-4.5) at Falcons
Bills bounce back

Bears at Commanders (-4.5)
Washington shuts down Ditkas

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Week 5 – Beat Football Cat!

Posted on October 3, 2025 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

I can’t be giving away prizes every other week! it’s unsustainable!

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

We had another winner this week, who will be announced when and if they check their email!

Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Vikings at Browns

Cowboys at Jets

Broncos at Eagles

Texans at Ravens

Raiders at Colts

Dolphins at Panthers

Giants at Saints

Buccaneers at Seahawks

Titans at Cardinals

Lions at Bengals

Commanders at Chargers

Patriots at Bills

Chiefs at Jaguars

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our intrepid squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Happy October and good luck!

Football Cat’s Week 5 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on October 2, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Breaking News: Baseball is officially over! Time to take out the air conditioners, put in the storm windows and start raking those pesky leaves. Sounds like a fun weekend of puttering around until Sunday Night Football, but you know what else sounds like fun? Banking goodwill with you significant other! Week 5 has a horrific lineup of games and the weather is supposed to be glorious. There’s no better time than now to break out the official The15 Fall Event Avoidance Generator and topsy turvy that motherf*cker. It’s the perfect opportunity for you, yes YOU, to bite the bullet and invite your loved one to the Foliage Brunch or the Hay Festival or even a trip to the Apple Maze. The Patriots play at 1 o’clock for the next five weeks – think ahead. Remember failing to plan is planning to fail.

Sunday English Muffin Time
Vikings (-3.5 ) at Browns
Norsemen squash woodland sprites

Sunday Lunch Time
Cowboys (-2.5 ) at Jets
Jets soar to Cowboys crash

Broncos at Eagles (-5.5)
Philly nix Nix

Texans at Ravens (-7.5)
Scary black birds kickoff spooky season with a win

Raiders at Colts (-6.5)
Indianapolis Jones extends the Raiders lost season

Dolphins (-1.5 ) at Panthers
Black cats feast on fish

Giants (-1.5 ) at Saints
David slays Goliath

Sunday Dinner Time
Buccaneers at Seahawks (-3)
Bucs sink Seahawks

Titans at Cardinals (-9.5)
Phoenix grabs the Mythical Creature Bowl

Lions (-8.5 ) at Bengals
Jungle kings dominate the battle of the big cats

They’ll both rip your lungs out once they grow up

Commanders at Chargers (-2.5)
Bolts shutdown Washington

Sunday Prowl Time
Patriots at Bills (-8.5)
The whiteout uniforms whitewash the Patriots

Monday Prowl Time
Chiefs (-3) at Jaguars
Indigenous peoples skin the spotted cats

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

10/01/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on October 1, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

If the New York Yankees had won last night Karl Ravech was going to drive non-stop to Cooperstown and hand deliver the game footage to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

The Patriots are arguably the best 2-2 team in the AFC East.

Oh, I know how get-off-my-lawnish this may sound, but the fuss about a Super Bowl halftime show eludes me. Just give me a good marching band.

It took all of Europe’s best golfers playing out of their minds to just barely beat the scrappy US Ryder Cup squad. I hope they’re very proud for that.

Oh, you know, that old New England seaside tradition, “ringing the fog bell?”

Can you imagine Kendra Middleton eating fried dough at the Topsfield Fair? The zaniness would be off the charts! LOL

The Raiders let the Bears block the kick so no one would say Tom Brady’s classified intel helped them win.

Humiliating Mut is my favorite Barstool thing ever.

Watching the Wild Card game reminds me that the late Larry Johnson could not freehand draw the Yankees logo. At all.

Cakes are cooking for Julie Andrews, Rod Carew, Stephen Collins, Randy Quaid, Earl Slick, Larry Miller, Jeff Reardon, Leslie Burr-Howard, Theresa May, Martin Cooper, Michelle Bauer, Youssou N’dour, Elizabeth Dennehy, Esai Morales, Mark McGwire, Roberto Kelly, Cliff Ronning, Christopher Titus, Mike Pringle, Scot Young, Zach Galifianakis, Rudi Johnson, Johnny Oduya, Matt Cain, and Brie Larson.

Seth, Good luck on your Book. I wrote in my Book that the two most important positions in America are the President and the Quarterback.

I’m convinced the Sullivan Tire Guy is Greater Boston’s Jimmy Savile.

All Lynn Ferry service is cancelled for the remainder of today, October 1, due to rough seas

Tyreek Hill’s leg snapped easier than a three-year old’s arm. What?

Hey gang of stackers, this week’s Phrased that Pays is, “Mut just got cucked by Hogdale.”

That Ceddanne at bat against Weaver was one of the coolest things my eyes have ever seen. Like seeing a minotaur.

Fun Fact: ‘The Fog Belles’ was the name of the San Francisco 49ers first cheerleading squad.

How does a car race go to overtime?

Ravech acting like Judge playing right field on roller skates is making plays out there like he’s Willie Mays.

I’ll say it again: if you want to be a creator, don’t let brands exploit you. A massive food company just asked me to eat something so spicy it required a safety waiver and for zero pay. I’ve been doing this for 10 years and still get offers like this. No one will advocate for you but you. If a brand says, ‘no compensation, just community,’ the answer is NO. They don’t get to use your image for clicks and their gain for none of your own, because I promise they have the budget. The end.

Fire Country is at least an actual phrase. Sheriff Country makes no sense.

Red Sox Alumni News: Nice to see Francona bring the Reds to the playoffs. Ely De La Cruz is a fun player to watch. Rafi Devers played 163 games this season. Gary Allenson is still alive.

Cam has good rabbit-killing hands.

Zooey Deschanel looks completely different without bangs.

I’m jk I know this usually means a retirement tour or whatever but I have declared the Kings my punching bag of the year.

If you leave, don’t leave now
Please don’t take my heart away
Promise me just one more night
Then we’ll go our separate ways
We’ve always had time on our sides
Now it’s fading fast
Every second, every moment
We’ve got to, we’ve gotta make it last

I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won’t let go at any price
I need you now like I need you then
You always said we’d still be friends someday

I always knew Nick Sogard and Nate Eaton would be big for the Red Sox in the playoffs.

Honk if you remember ‘Memphis Seoul.’

Portland Heart of Pine playing on a field with both football and soccer markings is confusing.

Smokey Joe Wood? He was a problem.

Live is one of the few bands actually worse than Nirvana.

Happy trails, Al Horford. You will be missed.

I can’t name one Zac Bryan or Eric Church song, and I’m guessing neither can Gerry Callahan.

The Ryder Cup Envelope Rule?

Best bet for the weekend: early whiteout conditions in Buffalo. Check for Skyway closure announcements!

*Douglas, Henry, & Diggs could get used to winning.*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Old Friend Hacksaw, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon. We are shakin’ the tree.

*And happy Birthday to model and actress Cindy Margolis, the one-time ‘Most Downloaded Person in the world’*

Football Cat’s Week 4 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on September 26, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport! The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat! Welcome to Football Cat’s Wide World of Sports Weekend! In Asia there are the World Athletics Championship finishing up in Tokyo. In the Land Down Under we have an all feline Grand Final in the Australian Football League as the Geelong Cats (a personal favorite) take on the defending champion Melbourne Lions. In Brazil there’s the Grand Chess Tour Finals kicking off (a Blitz isn’t only in football kids). And who could possibly forget about everyone’s favorite jingoistic biennial golf tournament, that the Ryder Cup (any relation to Greg?) is taking place at Bethpage Black (any relation to Shirley Temple Black?) Even the Red Sox are prepping for the playoffs (PLAYOFFS?!?!) But Faith and Begorrah the most important international sporting event of the weekend will be taking place in the Emerald Isle, when the Steelers “host” the Vikings in the first ever regular season NFL game to ever be played on the auld sod. Why the Steelers you may ask? What a stupid question boy-o! Why I ought to bop you on the head with me shillelagh! The Steelers were the obvious choice because of their deep Irish roots. Steeler’s patriarch Art Rooney’s great-grandparents emigrated from Ireland way back in 1840 during the Great Famine. That means current Steeler’s owner Dan Rooney only has to go back four generations to reach his potato roots. Wow a 4th generation Irish American! There are only about 32 other million of those, and half are in Southie. So remember no matter how many times you drop “Sláinte” or “Éire go Brách”, your blood will never be as green as the Sainted Rooney family. Top o’ the mornin’ to YOU, ya’ spud!

The local Mick community couldn’t be more excited

_{And congratulations to Warren Dull’s Aunt on being the only human to ever defeat Football Cat}

Sunday Potato Pancake Time
Vikings (-2.5) vs Steelers
Stillers hand the Vikings their worst defeat in Ireland since the Battle of Clontarf in 1014

Brian Boru invented sudden death centuries before Bert Bell

Sunday Lunch Time
Commanders (-1.5) at Falcons
Penix stiffens up and balls out.

Saints at Bills (-15.5)
Even Saint Jude is backing the Bills in this one.

Browns at Lions (-9.5)
Jungle Kings smear the Browns

Titans at Texans (-7.5)
FUN FACT: This game showcases the only two teams in the NFL whose nicknames end in “ans”! Tex top Tit

Panthers at Patriots (-5.5)
Black cats get caught looking ahead to October.

Chargers (-6.5) at Giants
Jaxon Dart? More like Jaxon Sharts the bed!

Eagles (-3.5) at Buccaneers
American birds soar in this battle of the unbeatens

Sunday Dinner Time
Colts at Rams (-3.5)
Hairy sheep hand Indianapolis Jones his first loss

Jaguars at 49ers (-3.5)
Mac tames the Spotted Cats

My good friend Mac and I can’t stop owning

Ravens (-2.5) at Chiefs
Scary Black birds murder Mahomes

Bears (-1.5) at Raiders
It is officially fall, and the Autumn Wind is a Raider… Vegas baby!

Packers (-6.5) at Cowboys
Meat men grind up Cow boys

Monday Early Prowl Time
Jets at Dolphins (-2.5)
Jets take the toilet bowl

Monday Prowl Time
Bengals at Broncos (-7.5)
Stripey Cats succumb to hypoxia

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Week 4 – Beat Football Cat!

Posted on September 25, 2025 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket or Big Y! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Vikings Steelers

Commanders Falcons

Saints Bills

Browns Lions

Titans Texans

Panthers Patriots

Chargers Giants

Eagles Buccaneers

Colts Rams

Jaguars 49ers

Ravens Chiefs

Bears Raiders

Packers Cowboys

Jets Dolphins

Bengals Broncos (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our squadron of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Happy autumn and good luck!

09/24/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on September 24, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

Oh, good the new 2004 Red Sox documentary has JFK and forced busing in it. I was scared they were going to leave those out.

Not sure if Coach Parcells should be purchasing green bananas when he goes to buy the groceries.

Jayson Tatum is now a spokesperson for Vertex Pharmaceuticals after using their new non-opioid pain drug, Journavx, following Achilles surgery. The FDA approved the drug earlier this year.

omfg it just dawned on me that we have a fantastic chance of getting a Lyss v Nai WNBA Finals, and if that wouldn’t be the best thing ever, I don’t even know what to say anymore.

Whenever there’s a Minihane live show, do the Minifans pick a Designated Survivor?

Red Sox are 5-2 now in minor league ballparks this season.

Jeff Hardy is aging in dog years.

Pats wore the throwback uniforms. Edelman rang the lighthouse bell; what more were they supposed to do?

Cakes are cooking for Joe Greene, Jerry Donahue, Gorgon Clapp, Emilio Castillo, Kristina Wayborn, Joseph P. Kennedy II, Hubie Brooks, Brad Bird, Kevin Sorbo, Allen Bestwick, Mike Phelan, Nia Vardalos, Rafael Palmeiro, Sean McNabb, Bernard Gilkey, Kevin Koslofski, Shawn Crahan, Megan Ward, Eddie George, Kyle Turley, Stephanie McMahon, Daniele Bennati, Drew Gooden, Ryan Briscoe, Paul Hamm, and Lisa Wang.

Alex Cora told the media Payton Tolle will pitch out of the bullpen for the remainder of the season.

2/3 of Irsay’s daughters… WOULD.

The homeless Athletics came into your house and beat YOU!

Fitchburg Line Diversion Reminder: Saturday, Sept. 27th & Sunday, Sept. 28th Red & Green Line subway service will replace regular Commuter Rail service between North Station and Porter. This allows for North Station Terminal Area Signal System Improvement work.

You HAVE to tag Jerry Thornton when you get a divorce. No way around it.

I have to wonder if Sal still would have created cancel culture all those years ago if he could have foreseen how it would eventually be used.

Bruins scoring goals in bunches, nice to see, even in preseason.

Tried to use AI to put together my fantasy football lineup for this weekend. Complete trash. Everyone’s jobs are safe.

‘I don’t want the bass loaded anymore?’ What an idiot Lou Meloni is. The term is ‘loaded diamond.’

Zolak’s pronunciation of “Steelers” isn’t triggering at all.

Hey mean and not for everyone gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “It’s nothing scandalous, it’s just some broad on the internet.”

Wyomissing translates from the Lenape to ‘brook full of trull.’

I hope years of forced bicoastal living won’t place undue strain on Attorney Jackson’s marriage.

Dallas Braden seems like if Pat McAfee was in the Lumineers.

What if I don’t like Millwall? What then?

It’s almost like sportswriting attracts a disproportionate number of talentless losers.

Kirk Minihane might be retarded.

You’ve got “toss the egg yolk” money in this economy? Must be nice.

Walked into a strange cafe
No one there’s ever heard my name
Go to the bar, have a seat
Talk to that woman sittin’ next to me

She ask me in a voice so low,
She ask me if I come in here alone.
She ask me nicely, “Can I buy you a drink?”
You know I think she likes me, that’s what I think,
I think she likes me, that’s what I think.

Can someone who has covered the NFL longer than I explain why all nine Patriots-Steelers games from 1981 to 1995 were in Pittsburgh? Was there no rhyme or reason to NFL scheduling? Just going off vibes?

Kay Adams debuting the ‘bait for a gang initiation beatdown’ look is certainly a bold decision.

Kenny Anderson: wash cloth user.

Honk if you remember NASCL’s Enemies List.

I bet if they try even harder the media can make one more person care about the Tom Brady “conflict of interest” storyline.

Vocal fry in a male is very off-putting.

Whenever Donald Trump comes after one of Bill Simmons’ friends he stops talking about Belichick. So who’s to say whether him forcing ABC to cancel Jimmy Kimmel is a bad thing or not.

Also, I really wanna go 100% on this but…I can’t cancel Disney+…I just can’t. Marvel has a hold on me. Disney/Pixar movies have a hold on me. Shit, Hulu does somewhat too. And now with WWE moving their PLE’s there? Ugh. I’m sorry. I’m still 99% with everyone though!

It’s good to be on the good side of the crazy coworker.

Ramondre knows he has to be better!

Rub some dirt on it, David Fry. Walk it off. You’re okay.

Can you imagine Kendra Middleton going to the Big E? Hahahahaha zoinks!!

Best bet for the weekend: New England improves to 2-2.

*Bruce Allen Jr, the indispensable founder of the Boston Sports Media Watch website. A good man, a kind man, a tall man. Taken from us too soon*. *He will be greatly missed.*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Walk, Don’t Run.

*And there’s some leftover cake in the break room from THE BUTCHIE’S birthday yesterday.*

“Where are my blue cupcakes!?”

Don, it’s RAH SHERSHONNAH, so a SHONER TOVER to you and yours. And just so you know, the only state I’ll recognize is RED SOX NATION!

Week 3 – Beat Football Cat!

Posted on September 19, 2025 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Simply pick who you think will win this week’s remaining games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack! (Pictured Below)

…or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket or Big Y! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this week’s NFL matchups:

Falcons Panthers

Packers Browns

Texans Jaguars

Bengals Vikings

Steelers Patriots

Rams Eagles

Jets Bucs

Colts Titans

Raiders Commanders

Broncos Chargers

Saints Seahawks

Cowboys Bears

Cardinals 49ers

Chiefs Giants

Lions Ravens (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our gritty squadron of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good day and good luck!

Football Cat’s Week 3 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on September 19, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Happy Upton Bell Day!

Every September 19th all of Patriots Nation gather together with their family and friends to celebrate the legacy of their one time wunderkind General Manager Upton Bell. Back in February of 1971, Billy Sullivan hired the snot nosed 33 year old Bell to be his GM. The most memorable moment of Upton’s brief reign of terror was when he forgot to mail out contracts to all the team’s impending free agents, thus instantly granting them their freedom. The Upton Bell era came to an abrupt end in December 5, 1972 when he was unceremoniously fired after amassing a putrid 9 – 19 record. Sure that is a bad record, but really damning fact is that Upton was so incompetent that he never worked in the NFL again. Imagine how awful his reputation within the league must have been to never get another front office job. This was the son of former NFL Commissioner and Eagles owner/founder Bert Bell, and after being fired at the age of 35 his career in the league was over.

Today the 88 year old social media maven has morphed into a modern day Baron Hieronymus Karl Friedrich Freiherr von Münchhausen. The list of famous (all dead) people Upton has met includes Burt Reynolds, Jane Russell, Hedy Lamar, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Grace Kelly, Stephen Hawking, Patricia Neal, Jack Nicholson, Richard Nixon, Anthony Hopkins, Angie Dickerson, Arnold Palmer, Alan Shepard, Ted Turner, Seiji Ozawa, Donna Reed, Hedy Lamarr, Carely Simon, Yo Yo Ma and three (THREE!) Tuskegee Airmen. The list goes on and on. We didn’t even bother with listing the sports figures he claims to have known/discovered, but rest assured if they’re dead Upton claims he interacted with them.

And if Upton didn’t meet them, rest assured his mother did. Per Upton, his mom, Broadway “star” Frances Upton, had close encounters with Charles Lindbergh, James Cagney, Florenz Ziegfeld, George Gershwin, George Burns, Willie Mays, Babe Ruth, Lefty Gomez and Al Capone. According to Upton, when Bert Bell, his father, dropped dead Universal Pictures wanted to make a movie about him with Danny Thomas as the lead, but Frances turned it down (of course she did!). The aforementioned Bert Bell invented the NFL Draft, coined the phrase “On Any Given Sunday”, brought the entire Eagles team with him on his honeymoon, proposed local TV blackouts, and in 1958 came up with the idea of sudden death overtime – which is ironic because he dropped dead less than one year later while attending a football game.

So celebrate today the Upton way by forgetting to send out important legal documents on time, or by getting you rugs cleaned or by lying on social media about all the famous dead people you’ve interacted with. Happy 9-19 to all who celebrate!

Sunday Lunch Time
Falcons (-5.5) at Panthers
Black cats get slapped by Penix

Packers (-7.5) at Browns
Packko over Flacco

In 1935 Bert Bell invents the NFL draft. In 1948 Bert Bell invents prank calling potential draft picks.

Texans at Jaguars (-2)
Texicats hog tie spotted cats

Bengals at Vikings (-3)
Norsemen beat Burrow-less Bungles

Steelers (-1.5) at Patriots
Pat Patriot makes Rodgers see red

November 14, 1972 press conference with owner Billy Sullivan (right), interim head coach Phil Bengtson (center), lame duck GM Upton Bell (left). Disgraceful body language

Rams at Eagles (-3.5)
Philly rams LA

Jets at Buccaneers (-6.5)
Tampa takes the Todd Bowles Revenge Bowl

Colts (-4.5) at Titans
Tits whip Indianapolis Jones

Frances Upton in her only feature film role as Angie in ‘Night Work’ (1930). Francis loved to tell Upton about all the times she lost out on an acting job because she would not submit to the casting couch. Proving that lying is inherited.

Raiders at Commanders (-3.5)
The Raiders keep racking up frequent flyer miles but not wins

Sunday Dinner Time
Broncos at Chargers (-3)
Bolts best Broncos

Saints at Seahawks (-7.5)
Saints remain winless in Seattle

Upton saw Wilt Chamberlain play high school basketball and new he’d be a super star

Cowboys (-1) at Bears
Da Bears drop Da Boys

Cardinals at 49ers (-2.5)
Prospectors use the Pretty Red Birds as their canaries in the gold mine.

Sunday Prowl Time
Chiefs (-6) at Giants
Chiefs cut the Giants down to size

9 wins as Patriots GM work out to 1 win for every tooth

Monday Prowl Time
Lions at Ravens (-4.5)
Scary black birds tame the big cats

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

09/17/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on September 17, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

*It always comes back to baseball, Danny. Robert Redford 1936-2025.*

First The Whammer, then Bump Bailey, and now Mr. Roy Hobbs? 2025 is clearing out the cast of The Natural.

I have as many FBS wins as Notre Dame this season and I’m not in the AP Top 25.

Well, to the good, in a couple of weeks Mike McDaniel will be able to use his Breitling watch to tell time.

So the show about the entertainment industry cleaned up at the Emmys? That never happens.

Tom Brady. A 24-year journey from from Mo Lewis to Mo Atta.

After Borregales missed 2 xp’s Patriots fans were ready to check him for disqualifying tattoos.

Too soon to call Carles Gil a coach killer?

Cakes are cooking for Phil Jackson, Fee Waybill, Cassandra Peterson, Rita Rudner, Scott Simpson, John Franco, Steve Clifford, Ty Tabor, Baz Luhrmann, Paul Feig, Bryan Singer, Kyle Chandler, Anastacia, Mark Brunell, David Reid, Rasheed Wallace, Jimmie Johnson, Flo Rida, Danny Haren, Eugenia Volodina, Alex Ovechkin, Mason Raymond, and Patrick Mahomes II.

Pablo Torre may be a strange lil fella who’s more obsessed with Jordon Hudson than Coach Bill himself, but he does seem to have Steve Ballmer dead to rights.

Cool limp, bro.

I hope Mike Reiss is going to demand a personal apology from the nepo GM for drafting Ja’Lynn Polk.

Red Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to police activity at Harvard.

‘Wake Up Barstool?’ That just makes one think of all the Barstool Rohypnol ‘n Foam parties back in the day.

If the Red Sox lose out they will finish 82-80. They were 81-81 last year.

Stefon Diggs and Cardi will definitely have to play zone and not man with all them kids.

You can say anything you like
But you can’t touch the merchandise
She’ll give you every penny’s worth
But it will cost you a dollar first

You can step outside your little world
(Step outside your world)
You can talk to a pretty girl
She’s everything you dream about…

(But don’t fall in love) She’s a beauty
(She’s one in a million girl) One in a million girl
(Why would I lie?) Why would I lie?

Congratulations to WNBA KIA Most Improved Player Award Winner Veronica Burton.

Another 2004 Red Sox documentary in the offing? Who asked for that?

And that goes double for Nana Gary Myers’ book.

I’m not saying you fiddled with the thermostat, but I didn’t set the heat at 55 degrees and the AC at 80.

Honk if you remember the Montrealer train.

I wonder if Pablo Torre is going to investigate the Saudi Flag Football League.

David Pastrnak will be limited in the first few days for training camp with an undisclosed injury.

Molly Qerim is a free agent.

Best bet for the weekend: Christian Gonzalez’s hamstring keeps him inactive vs Pittsburgh.

*Perpetually skeptical as to CLNS. Charlie Kirk 1993-2025*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, and things of that nature.