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12/17/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on December 17, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

Two goals in one game. Pretty good. Is a hattie for Geekie in the future?

They used to have cool pregame montages before big games on TV.

Biff Poggi is a tremendous Star Wars name.

Imagine how sore Phil Rivers is this morning. Damn. And there’ll be somebody reminding him, “it’s always worse the second day!”

Bummed the NBA cup is over, I really enjoyed not having games to watch.

I know America is back because I’m watching a white linebacker named “Jack.”

If Buddy Cianci was still Mayor, this guy would have been caught within a couple hours. Figure it out.

Holy cow. What a tragedy. Pray for Mahomes.

Do you think Donnie Wahlberg has a red phone that TV producers call when they need a Boston-themed gameday promo?

Ann Michael Maye make your husband as many peppermint chocolate cookies as he WANTS.

Cakes are cooking for Chris Matthews, Ernie Hudson, Eugene Levy, Wes Studi, James Alexander, Paul Rodgers, Ken Hitchcock, Barry Livingston, Bill Pullman, Peter Farrelly, Mike Mills, Tammie Green, Michele Tafoya, Craig Berube, Vincent Damphousse, Curtis Pride, Chuck Liddell, DJ Homicide, Claire Forlani, Tony Richardson, Laurie Holden, Rian Johnson, Giovonni Ribisi, Duff Goldman, Sarah Paulson, Milla Jovovich, Takeo Spikes, Arnaud Clement, Alex Cintrón, Chase Utley, Manny Pacquiao, Neil Sanderson, Jaimee Foxworth, Ryan Hunter-Reay, David Longstreth, and Nat Wolff.

Yeah, bro. Just add 3 MPH to your fastball.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Let’s not disparage big floppy tits.”

Coach Drip should take the ‘72 Lombardi out and drag it out around the parking lot from a rope tied to his car.

Nick Wright looks like he’d challenge Indiana Jones to a scimitar duel.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

An ACL tear is a sprained knee as a stroke is a headache.

This part of the calendar is hysterical. Half the days I’m using up my PTO and the other ones, my calendar is so empty that I’m sitting around diagramming new drills to run in my practices.

Carlton Davis III has returned to the game (fourth quarter, 9:55).

Congratulations to the New York Knicks for winning the NBA Emirates Cup. As far as made-up awards from an ethically dubious outfit, it’s no FIFA Peace Prize.

Had no idea there was a Utah NHL team. Been living under a rock I guess.

Honk if you remember where they serve meat in Melrose.

Just heard a radio commercial for a water filtration system. The woman doing the V/O says “it’s echo friendly” as in An echo that goes hello, hello…..isnt it pronounced eeeeeco(eco)? these are the things that keep me up these days……ugh.

Mentho-Lyptus!

Carlton Davis reminds me so much of Browner. Hope he doesn’t try to kill his girlfriend in a few years.

Decide yourself if radio’s gonna stay
Reason it could polish up the gray
Put that, put that, put that up your wall
That this isn’t country at all
Radio station decide yourself

Keep me out of country and the word
Wheel of fortune’s leading us absurd
Push that, push that, push that to the floor
That this isn’t nothing at all
Straight off the boat, where to go

Calling out in transit
Calling out in transit
Radio Free Europe (Radio)

Weather app tells me it feels like Drake Maye’s uniform number outside right now. I wish it felt like his completion percentage.

Families allow you to spend time with people you would otherwise never associate with.

How does Adam Jones not get punched every day?

Perhaps a boost the Bearcats need as Jizzle James returns to the basketball roster.

I swear Cena is having his 5th “last match” in a 3-month span.

Ann Michael Maye likes baking, and terrariums, and firetrucks, and hugs.

For seasonal home decorations, The Nightmare Before Christmas is really the way to go. Put them up early October when it’s still nice out and let it ride all the way through New Year’s.

Chloe the German Shepherd a suspect yet in that Hollywood double murder?

Fun Fact: Winning the NBA Cup qualifies the Knicks for the 2026 CONCACAF Champions League.

Eh, Patriots just got the Michael Gee Memorial pre-playoff loss out of the way.

Selling the Pittsburgh Penguins means FSG can focus of the Red Sox again. Right?

Best bet for the weekend: throwing all the records out the window when JMU takes on Oregon.

Congratulations to Bianca de la Garza on being recognized as Dame of the House of Savoy in the August family of chivalric orders. There is nuthin’ like a dame.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Rock and Roll fantasy.

And happy birthday to Canadian actress Katheryn Winnick.

12/03/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on December 3, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

*Jaylen is making the most of his opportunity.*

The New England Patriots are back. Weep.

Wake up to a bunch of tweets from NBA reporters wondering what happened between the Clippers and Chris Paul. How about do your job and figure it out?

Nothing says rivalry weekend quite like UCF at BYU.

Jason Kelce’s eyebrows look like 2 Australian shepherds about to square off.

Basic math is now ‘analytics’.

The thing about Lane Kiffin is that he hates making things about himself. I can only imagine how hard this must be for him.

The Lions game not starting at 12:30 threw me off. A Thanksgiving staple.

I wonder if the Bruins players’ wives also made them get up early on Black Friday and drive them to Target.

Ryan Day bears an uncanny resemblance to Ming the Merciless.

What are there more of, “Kirk Minihane Show” ex-producers or videos of Turtleboi Aidan crying?

Cakes are cooking for Mickey Thomas, Rick Mears, David Hixon, Don Barnes, Franz Klammer, Melody Anderson, Kathy Jordan, Daryl Hannah, Julianne Moore, Mike Ramsey, Joe Lally, Andrew Stanton, Katarina Witt, Brendan Fraser, Montell Jordan, Harold Steinbrenner, Amy Helm, Laura Schuler, Lindsey Hunter, Paul Byrd, Vernon White, Bucky Lasek, Holly Marie Combs, Rainbow Sun Francks, Sean Parker, Tiffany Haddish, Anna Chlumsky, Jenna Dewan, Brian Bonsall, Michael Essian, Amanda Seyfried, Michael Angarano, Jake T. Austin, and Lil Baby.

If MLB has rules that apply to only one player, how soon until the NFL grants Mahomes possession of the ball no matter what at the end of games?

Rhody has a LB named Rohan Davy. No relation.

I liked New Mexico’s turquoise uniforms. The computers should’ve had that as a deciding factor.

Dallas plays football like chipmunks who found a bag of coke.

Hey gang of fake cancer survivors! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Making a big deal over quitting your social drinking is wild.”

Bring. Back. The. Patriots. White. Over. White. 80’s. Throwbacks.

The ‘There Are Too Many Streaming Services!’ Guy is my least favorite archetype.

Lem Barney has been upgraded from ‘dead’ to ‘alive’.

Not to go all Brad Rifkin on you, but elk and lingonberries are an incredible pairing.

Anthony Edwards looks like he can’t read.

Red Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to a disabled train at Park Street. Trains may stand by at stations.

Thanksgiving games don’t need halftime shows. Sorry.

Wonder if Max Brosmer woke up today wondering when they play Holy Cross?

Korpisalo makes some good saves, but you always know when he’s playing because Bs are down 2 five minutes into the game.

Ian Eagle does a great job at play-by-play. A great mix of seriousness and excitement.

This is how we do it, all hands are in the air
And wave them from here to there
If you’re an OG mack or a wanna-be player
You see the hood’s been good to me
Ever since I was a lower case G
But now I’m a big G
The girls see I got the money
Hundred dollar bills, y’all.

Hollywood Brown sounds like the name of a hustler from a James Ellroy novel.

Post Malone is the pinnacle of the redneck-wigger aesthetic. A uniquely American archetype.

I’ve slept 29 hours and 43 minutes the last 3 nights.

Lamar must be wondering what he did wrong to have Josina dump him for Shedeur.

Honk if you remember to steer into the skid. And to warn people that you’re skidding, I guess.

Espn had Herbstreit, ‘Booger’, and then Joey Galloway out there saying you’re just being soft if you think Kiffin shouldn’t coach two teams. So fucking stupid.

Wearing my Barstool hoodie so that everyone knows I’m a cool guy who loves sports and chicks and gambling.

Too many evictions scheduled, man.

USF’s Alex Golesh to Auburn? This is a great hire. AG is a BIG culture guy. Excited to see what he can do there. I’ve never heard of him.

Never discount the power of sincerely offered glad tidings.

Who is forcing BYU? Win and in. Lose and not.

Jaylen Brown one of the quickest hair recessions in history. Had that sweet flat top like 5 years ago to this patchy, sloppy mess today.

Boston’s Snowport Holiday Market: Tourist trap, or bad rap?

Just an inscrutable play by Younghoe Koo.

Derek Thompson is the most fake smart writer I’ve ever seen.

Brian Walshe looks like Jay Sherman from ‘The Critic’.

So many catalogs arriving based on the questionable assumption I want to give the gift of cheese.

Best bet for the weekend: Good Kid Pasta returns to practice.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I’m travelin’ down the road and I’m flirtin’ with disaster
I got the pedal to the floor and my life is runnin’ faster.

*And happy birthday to Boston’s Own Alicia Sacramone, multiple time Gymnastics World Champion.*

Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 28, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Welcome to Black Friday 2025!

Smart shoppers are avoiding the crowds by visiting the official the15net.com store to pick up their official the15net.com merchandise. It’s what all the cool people will be wearing to the office Christmas party. And who doesn’t want to be cool?

Q: Who could ever look cooler than these Fonzies

Sunday Lunch Time
Rams (-10) at Panthers
Horny sheep skin black cats

49ers (-4.5) at Browns
Prospectors fry Colonel Sanders

It takes a tough cat to make a tender bird

Texans at Colts (-4.5)
Indianapolis Jones whips Houston

Saints at Dolphins (-5.5)
Tua’s Dolphins dunk tanking Saints

He’s not called *Coach Drip* for nothing

Falcons (-2.5) at Jets
Birds of Prey soar over sputtering Jets

Cardinals at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Pretty Red Birds fly past Bucs

Jaguars (-6.5) at Titans
Spotted cats top Tits

Did someone say “jaguar tit top”?
*EDITOR’S NOTE: These are leopard spots, not jaguar spots. We regret the error.*

Sunday Dinner Time
Vikings at Seahawks (-11.5)
Sam Darnold haunts Vikings

Raiders at Chargers (-10)
Bolts put out Vegas’ lights

You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in white

Bills (-3.5) at Steelers
Buffalo wings Yinzers

Sunday Prowl Time
Broncos (-6) at Commanders
Rested Broncos bust Commies

Monday Prowl Time
Giants at Patriots (-7.5)
Pats head to the bye on a high

You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in blue

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Thanksgiving Picks ’25

Posted on November 27, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Turkey fans enjoy giving out gobbles this time of year, but what about America’s fastest, and fattest, growing dietary subgroup the Porksaterians? Well don’t worry Porky, we’re here to satisfy you with a serving of oinks.

Grant Huckvale (a.k.a. Hogdale):
Hogdale carved a niche for himself as an overly exuberant alternative broadcaster to the stoic and bland official Red Sox play-by-play teams on NESN and WEEI. Over the summer you’d see Hogdale clips occasionally retweeted into your timeline, usually after Red Sox wins, and you’d think to yourself “I think that’s the tops“. We probably all agree that Hogdale is special. Smash cut to present day, and we are confronted with a hog of a different color. Barstool, in an effort to fill an obese chromosomically challenged void in their lineup, swooped in and waved a lucrative (by part-time minimum waged Iowan standards) five figure contract in front of Hogdale’s snout and lured him into their slaughter house. Now Hogdale’s giant screaming maw is ever present, ever hot takey and ever annoying. To quote Rocky IV: “What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster”.
4 oinks 🐷🐷🐷🐷

Thanksgiving early eaters time
Packers at Lions (-2.5)
Jungle Kings slice and dice Cheese Heads

Thanksgiving late eaters time
Chiefs (-3.5) at Cowboys
Squantos feast on the Pilgrims

Thanksgiving overeaters time
Bengals at Ravens (-7)
Scary Black Birds bury Burrow’s boys

Black Friday Afternoon Nap time
Bears at Eagles (-7)
Birds bully Bears

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 12 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 21, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Please enjoy some pre-Thanksgiving haikus…

A Cat:
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
My claws aren’t that sharp.

Football:
Pigskin, gridiron
These equal true happiness
All thanks to Bert Bell

Robert Kraft:
Desperate for praise
Time for my prepaid close up
Get my booster seat

Kendra Middleton:
I crave attention
Look at me I am zany
Stop bothering me

Bob Socci:
This is not tv
Please give me down and distance
This is radio

Scott Zolak:
Must you grunt and groan
You are ruining the game
Try doing less coke

Sunday Lunch Time
Jets at Ravens (-13.5)
The Poes crawl out from under the floor boards

Steelers at Bears (-2.5)
Bears won’t be caged

Patriots (-8.5) at Bengals
Stripey cats can’t trap Pats

Giants at Lions (-10.5)
Jungle kings cut down Giants

Vikings at Packers (-6.5)
Packmen gobble up JJ

Colts at Chiefs (-3.5)
Native peoples corral Colts

Seahawks (-13.5) at Titans
Fake seabirds best the breasts

Sunday Dinner Time
Jaguars (-2.5) at Cardinals
Spotted cats swallow pretty red birds

Browns at Raiders (-3.5)
Black hole excretes the Browns

The photo Keebler didn’t want you to see

Eagles (-3.5) at Cowboys
Birds beat Boys

Falcons (1.5) at Saints
Saints flush Falcons in the Toilet Bowl

Sunday Prowl Time
Buccaneers at Rams (-6.5)
It’s no longer Baker Mayefield, it’s Baker Won’t-field

Monday Prowl Time
Panthers at 49ers (-7)
Purrrrdy boxes black cats

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

11/19/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on November 19, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

*Man. Quoting Cam Newton in Ebonics is a rough look.*

I’m no computer nerd, but the best way to avoid B*arstool tweets probably isn’t throwing a banana cream pie at their clown car.

Mazzulla is always visibly fuming when Drew Carter does the pre-game interview.

Kirk is taking Mut not knowing what a sitcom is really hard.

I wonder if Dianna Russini has thoughts about the Olivia Nuzzi revelations.

Being able to move on from your playing days is a skill.

I was just thinking, is Barstool ready for what they’ve started? No one messes with Hardy and Sarge’s crew and gets away it.

Coed adult cheerleading team?

Red Sox now have a new catcher, but only one bullpen lefty. Concerning.

Cakes are cooking for Ted Turner, Eddie Raynor, Calvin Klein, Dennis Hull, Bob Boone, Ahmad Rashad, Robert Beltran, Kathleen Quinlan, Ann Curry, Charlie Kaufman, Michael Wilbon, Alison Janney, Grant Ledyard, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Terry Farrell, Paul Weitz, Gail Devers, Rocco DiSpirito, Gary Disarcina, Justin Chancellor, Jeremy McGrath, Savion Glover, Jack Dorsey, Kerri Strug, Ryan Howard, Adam Driver, and Patrick Kane.

Little known fact: The viceroy and roy aren’t constitutionally allowed to fly on the same airplane.

I had a Pop-Tart and feel disgusting.

Never in NFL history has a backup QB come into a game and used it as the launchpad for a successful career.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Editorial discretion.”

Meanwhile, the phrase that never pays to say is and remains, “May I meet you?”

The NFL is better when the Jaguars are good.

Stan Musial: 1815 home hits. I815 road hits. As the Ol’ Perfessor would say, “You can look it up.”

One might say Kenni’s about to grow into an allergy… of getting owned.

Aaron Glenn looks like the leader of a slave rebellion.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

Surely this Kendra humiliation will cut through all the squids telling her how great she is.

“Blue-collar chip on shoulder guy” is a top 5 annoying personality type.

Robert appearing to be half a head taller than Gronk thanks to his booster seat is ridiculous.

Kirk Herbstreit’s job at this point is just humoring doddering old men while they prattle on about bullshit from 30 years ago. “Oh, really, Hartford? Wow, crazy.”

If Gresh blocked at URI like he does on Twitter he would’ve been drafted.

Does Pete Carroll have a legacy and is it in flames?

John Cena vs. Dominik Mysterio at Survivor Series would absolutely slap.

YOU were in a rock fight with the Jets, caller!

Normally you had to pay admission to one of Portnoy’s old Barstool foam parties to get that level of abused.

Have any of the radio stations gone to all-Thanksgiving music yet?

Honk if you remember Briff.

Rewatching the Patriots game and it brought up a random thought. I really miss the bond you get from being on a team. I miss that team camaraderie. Nothing like it. Anyone else miss it? Let us know in the comments.

Now if I appear to be carefree, it’s only to camouflage my sadness
In order to shield my pride, I’ve tried to cover this hurt with a show of gladness
But don’t let my show convince you
That I’ve been happy since you decided to go (why did you go?)
Oh, I need you so (I need you so)
I’m hurt and I want you to know (want you to know)
But for others I put on a show (it’s just a show)

Ooh ah, there’s some sad things known to man
But there ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a clown
When there’s no one around, oh yeah

Mais non, cher, from what I see, Gresh lost over 100 pounds back in 2019 wit’ a program, not Ozempic. No sign he usin’ dat stuff. Callin’ him a slob? Dat’s subjective, me, but he a sharp sports guy. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

You had me at “ok face.”

Imagine thinking having 5 active jobs on the ol’ LinkedIn looks good.

When did YAC yards become RAC yards?

You know a guy is dirty when Mark Schelreth says, “this guy isn’t dirty.”

BYU and UNC will have an epic Holiday Bowl in 2027.

Next thing you know we’re going to find out she doesn’t really work 65 hours a week.

Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Johnny Beecher.

Best bet for the weekend: Bill the GM’s former players playing well on other NFL squads.

THE GARDEN was built for the brawlers, the bombers, THE ABSOLUTE SHOT-CALLERS! Beantown demands the PROS, baby, not some doe-eyed amateurs still figuring out which end of the rink is up! We shelled out our hard-earned cash to watch the GODS: Russell blockin’ shots into the Charles, Orr flyin’ end-to-end like a jet, Bird drainin’ ‘em with the silky smooth, Espo snipin’ top shelf where Mama hides the cookies! These are the GIANTS who strode among us mere mortals!
*So take that college kiddie carnival back down to Storrs, Geno!*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Wash before wearing.

*And happy birthday to Ukrainian-Canadian supermodel Daria Werbowy.*

Week 11 – Beat Football Cat!

Posted on November 14, 2025 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Congratulations to Warren Dull’s aunt for beating Football Cat once again in Week 10!

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Commanders at Dolphins

Panthers at Falcons

Buccaneers at Bills

Chargers at Jaguars

Bears at Vikings

Packers at Giants

Bengals at Steelers

Texans at Titans

49ers at Cardinals

Seahawks at Rams

Ravens at Browns

Chiefs at Broncos

Lions at Eagles

Cowboys at Raiders (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our hardy heam of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good luck to all our contestants!

Football Cat’s Week 11 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 14, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!

and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!

As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):

Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!

Sunday Desayuno Time
Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5)
¡Los delfines ganan!

Sunday Lunch Time
Panthers at Falcons (-3.5)
Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win

Buccaneers at Bills (-6)
Bills bully Baker

Chargers (-3) at Jaguars
Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs

Bears at Vikings (-2.5)
Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears

Packers (-7) at Giants
There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.

Bengals at Steelers (-5.5)
Yinzers flatten Flacco

Texans (-6) at Titans
Tex squeezes Tits

Sunday Dinner Time
49ers (-3) at Cardinals
Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds

Seahawks at Rams (-3)
Horny sheep trample fake sea birds

Ravens (-7.5) at Browns
Scary black birds flush the Browns

Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos
Chiefs bust Broncos

Sunday Prowl Time
Lions at Eagles (-2.5)
Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly

Monday Prowl Time
Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders
Ranch hands rustle Raiders

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 10 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 7, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

News item: ESPN and Penn Entertainment are ending their sports-betting agreement early after failing to gain significant market share. The sports-media company will instead launch a new multiyear deal with industry leader DraftKings. The early ending for ESPN’s Penn Entertainment venture and ESPN Bet’s inability to gain scale is a sign of the grip DraftKings and FanDuel have on the market. Sports betting has exploded in America, but smaller companies and later entrants have been unable to capture fans’ attention.

We here at The15Net.com know how difficult it can be for the little guy to mix it up with the big boys, so we are offering up our services to Penn in its time of need. Our industry leading brand is a perfect fit for Penn’s deep pockets and poor judgement. We have year round features like the ever popular Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer, the wildly successful Football Cat’s Weekly NFL Picks, the eagerly awaited March Sadness, this summer’s surprise smash hit the Summer Mini-Tournament and a cornucopia of other fabulous rib ticklers and side splitters. How does “The15net Bets” sound to you?

And all for the low low price of only $15 million in cash per year! That’s a tenth of what you were paying ESPN, and no one even has access to that channel anymore. So please reach out to Mr. Steve Bosell, the Managing Editor of The15Net.com, at your earliest convenience (if you can find him).

Thank you for you attention to this matter.

Sunday Frühstück Time
Falcons at Colts (-6.5)
Indianapolis Jones triumphs over those Nazi inspired helmet logos

Sunday Lunch Time
Saints at Panthers (-5.5)
Black cats scare the bejesus out of the Saints

Giants at Bears (-4.5)
Bears send G-men into hibernation

Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans
Spotted cats have a problem in Houston

Bills (-9.5) at Dolphins
Buffalo grills Dolphins

Ravens (-4.5) at Vikings
Scary black birds continue to come back from the dead

Browns (-1.5) at Jets
Browns catch Firesale Ed’s team looking ahead to 2027

Patriots at Buccaneers (-2.5)
It’s no longer Baker Mayfield, it’s Baker ISfield!

Sunday Dinner Time
Cardinals at Seahawks (-6.5)
Fake Seabirds snatch up pretty red birds

Rams (-3) at 49ers
Horny sheep menace Mac

Lions (-7.5) at Commanders
Lions tame Swamp Things

Sunday Prowl Time
Steelers at Chargers (-3)
Bolts can’t penetrate the Men of Steel’s Faraday cage

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles at Packers (-2.5)
American Birds snap up Meat Men

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Week 9 – Beat Football Cat!

Posted on October 31, 2025 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

This feline is not in the holiday spirit. At all.

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Football Cat was not beat Week 8! Good effort, though.

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Bears at Bengals

Vikings at Lions

Panthers at Packers

Broncos at Texans

Falcons at Patriots

49ers at Giants

Colts at Steelers

Chargers at Titans

Saints at Rams

Jaguars at Raiders

Chiefs at Bills

Seahawks at Commanders

Cardinals at Cowboys (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our spooky band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good luck and have a Happy Halloween!