Tag Archives: baseball

Mini-Tourney Round 2 Preview

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Welcome to the first ever Summertime Sour Sixteen! If you like new media and Red Sox broadcasters, or more importantly if you don’t like new media and Red Sox broadcasters, then this is the competition for you! We’ve got six podcasters, seven current or former members of Red Sox radio/TV broadcasts, two crusty old newspaper men and one weepy grifter. (Sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)

Region B
1 Dave O’Brien vs 4 Steve Perrault
O’Brien wasn’t bad on radio play-by-play. However, he is so bad on TV that he actually makes people long for the days of Don Orsillo. Now that’s bad. Perrault is just one of the Carrabis’s many forgettable goofball sidekicks. O’Brien walks it off.

2 Chad Finn vs 3 Rob Bradford
Hairy vag faced Bradfo will smother Wax Pack Chad under a pile of wrinkled t-shirts.

Chad should have stayed in the safety of internet free Mid-coast Maine

Region V (aka The Section 10 free region)
1 Gabby Starr vs 4 Justin MLB
Here’s a tip for any of you looking to participate in next year’s Mini-Tourney. Put “MLB” in your twitter handle, it will set you apart from your average run of the mill baseball fans named Justin. Gabz won’t even need to come back from one of her many in-season vacations to dispatch Mr. Gonzalez.

2 Tom Caron vs 6 Hogdale
The Hogriders came out in force and pushed their hero into Round 2. They may have misunderstood the assignment though. How could anyone not appreciate the passion that Grant Huckvale brings to the role of “Hogdale”? It’s always a tour de force performance. Grant is matched up with milquetoast Tom Caron. No matter how many hair plugs Caron gets, it will never be enough to mask his Megamind Forehead. Dr. Tom Leonard’s least successful client moves on.

His comb over is much more lustrous now

Region N
1 Jared Carrabis vs 4 Coley Mick
Jared Carrabis is a better more knowledgeable fan than YOU. Sorry, just deal with it losers. “Coley Mick” is a lace curtain Irish dunce. “Car Rubbish”® will mash that bloated spud in the Section 10 showdown.

2 Tony Massarotti vs 3 Will Fleming
It seems unfair to have the March Sadness runner up in the Midsummer Mini-Tourney, but that’s baseball. Maybe if Will Fleming starts speaking Spanish, Tony will run away and hide. Unfortunately the only Spanish Mazz will hear from Fleming is “No Más“.

Region T
1 Pete Abraham vs 4 Tyler Milikin
This match up should be introduced by Dale Dorman as part of the Creature Double Feature. Sentient garden gnome (Abraham) takes on an obese two legged centaur (Milikin). The winner may depend on what country you live in.

Avert your eyes… they’re both hideous!

2 Tyler Broadman vs 3 Mike McCarthy
Is Mike McCarthy the pudgy bearded millennial doofus who figured out you can lose weight by eating salads, or is he the pudgy bearded millennial doofus with horrible teeth, or is he the pudgy bearded millennial doofus who couldn’t successfully book flights for his honeymoon or is he McBone? It’s hard to keep track of all these wacky call screeners.
Tyler Broadman may turn out to be a decent play-by-play man once he completes puberty, but his fake radio voice and Connecticut School of Broadcasting cadence make me want to ram my score keeping pencil in my ears. This a tough one, but McCarthy squeezes by.

07/16/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Schwarbsy. Good player. Missed locally.

It’s bittersweet that Dick Flavin isn’t around to commemorate this 10-game Red Sox winning streak with a terrible poem.

Alcaraz might be a greater non-sweater than Federer, which is really saying something.

Ken Lofton Jr is the definition of a bull in a china shop.

One thing that I will always hate about the MLB Draft is that teams don’t just draft the best players on their board.

I saw Felger on the Nantucket Ferry. He looked scared.

As someone who needs to be reminded the times were living in…a guy who has the last name ..Sinner ..won.wimbledon ..what’s next a man whos last name is judas wins the masters ?

Jerry Thornton has more dead relatives than Daenerys Targaryen.

David Ortiz fans chant, “Who’s your Papi?” Do fans chant, “Who’s your Dumper?” For Cal Raleigh?

It must be exhausting pretending to be an expert on everything. And also being 400 lbs.

Fan mail sent directly to my house will not be opened. It will be thrown out.

Cakes are cooking for Margaret Smith Court, Jimmy Johnson, Cyndy Garvey, Stewart Copeland, Michael Flatley, Gary Anderson, Terry Pendleton, Miguel Indurain, Charles Smith, Claude Lemieux, Chip Lohmiller, Jyrki Lumme, Will Ferrell, Barry Sanders, Daryl Mitchell, Rain Prior, William Van Landingham, Chris Thomas, Corey Feldman, Aaron Glenn, and Adam Scott.

For the record, Claudia Bellofatto is the only Big Dumper I recognize.

“Where does this walk-off rank in THE PANTHEON? Let’s go to the phones,” I say to my concerned wife and terrified children. Their reaction? I’ll let you know, after the break.

I’ve attended somewhere around 100 events at TD Garden between games and shows. Last night definitely cracks my top 5. The Caitlin Clark experience is legit and she is box office.

The terrible irony is that if Bob Kraft had spent the past decade and a half trying to get Stanley Morgan into the Hall of Fame they both would be enshrined in Canton by now.

Showing up in person as a fan to watch the MLB draft should land you on some kind of federal watchlist.

Jelly Roll looks like he does heroin in a Canobie Lake bathroom.

Red Sox kept the better Raffy.

Drew Bledsoe doesn’t get nearly the credit he deserves for his toughness. The man was a warrior.

Blue Line Update: No trains currently stuck under Boston Harbor.

Sox stockpiling arms in the Draft.

Jannik Sinner is Italian?

Cool to see Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner sitting front row at Fenway. Always a special atmosphere when big names show up at the park.

The bunnies and the squirrels have an uneasy truce in place.

Hey gang of squids who barely got through Navy basic, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Just buy some calamine lotion, you cheap fuck.”

@MarkDondero don’t sell yourself short mark

Hit up Strega after my North End stroll yesterday. This prosciutto-stuffed veal chop was phenomenal as was the octopus appetizer.

I would like to apologize if I sounded like I wished harm upon either Hardy Boy..

Honk if you remember Rick Dee’s, “Into the Night”.

Memo to WNBA announcer: Don’t call a layup (or lay-in) a “lay.” Nobody is having sex out there.

Respectfully: Keira Knightley looks like a billion dollars.

With one breath, with one flow,
You will know synchronicity.
A sleep trance, a dream dance,
A shared romance, synchronicity.

[Chorus]
A connecting principle,
Linked to the invisible,
Almost imperceptible,
Something inexpressible.
Science insusceptible,
Logic so inflexible,
Causally connectable,
Nothing is invincible…

It has rained for quite a few Heritage Nights with the Red Sox. Just saying….

They Saved Hitler’s Brain somehow went from a cheesy 1964 sci fi movie to a billion-dollar 2025 AI project.

Imagine having two phones.

Almost-a-Scout Bedard is miffed Belichick didn’t take a big chance on him.

During this heat wave don’t forget to check up on elderly neighbors to make sure their whole house fan is in good working order.

I think Jerry Trupiano needs to do an All-Sentence Music Fest headlined by Teddy Swims and Billy Strings.

Jerry Thornton wanted Up With People to perform at the All-Star Game.

Summer League is physical.

So the Sox play relatively clean for a couple weeks and suddenly that’s all the info from the last four years that we should acknowledge? Okay.

If Angel Reese didn’t exist it would be necessary to invent her.

Best bet for the weekend: Bostonians converging on Elwood Blues’ listed address.

Did we do this to Mike? We did, didn’t we?

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Don’t tell the director I said so but are you safe, Miss Gradenko?

And happy birthday to retired model & actress Phoebe Cates, whom you may associate with a song by The Cars.

The15 Local Baseball Media Mini-Tournament Seedings

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Please direct your attention to the seedings for the tournament, listed alphabetically by seed:

Seeded Eighth: Ian Browne, Jon Couture, Tim Healey, Jonny Miller.

Seeded Seventh: Mac Cerullo, Chris Cotillo, Jen McCaffrey, Sean McDonough.

Seeded Sixth: Steve Buckley, ‘Hogdale’, Sean McAdam, Mike Monaco.

Seeded Fifth: Will Middlebrooks, Kevin Millar, Jonathan Papelbon, Jim Rice.

Seeded Fourth: ‘ColeyMick’, ‘JustinMLB’, Tyler Milliken, Steve Perrault.

Seeded Third: Rob Bradford, Will Flemming, Matt McCarthy, Christopher Smith.

Seeded Second: Cooper Boardman, Tom Caron, Chad Finn, Tony Masserotti.

And, now, the Top Seeded competitors:

Pete Abraham, Jared Carrabis, Dave O’Brien, and Gabrielle Starr.

Bracket will drop tomorrow, Tuesday July 15th. Tourney to start Thursday.

The15 Mini-Tourney Preliminary Roster of Competitors

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Here is a partial list of the local baseball media who will be competing next week:

Pete Abraham Rob Bradford Ian Browne Steve Buckley Dave O’Brien Tom Caron Jared Carrabis Mac Cerullo Chris Cotillo Jon Couture Will Flemming Tim Healey Tony Massarotti ‘Coley Mick’ Sean McAdam Jen McCaffrey Matt McCarthy Sean McDonough Will Middlebrooks Kevin Millar Jonny Miller Tyler Milliken Mike Monaco Jonathan Papelbon Steve Perrault Jim Rice Christopher Smith Gabrielle Starr

Full roster and bracket reveal Monday!

Announcing The15 Midsummer Local Baseball Media Mini-Tournament

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Graphic design is my passion

We know from experience how much you all enjoy the annual March Sadness Tournament. But due to the calendar, the contestant pool is weighted heavily toward the sports then being played or just having concluded, hockey, basketball, and especially football. So the baseball writers, yakkers, and bloggers don’t receive their full attention. We aim to fix that.

Next week we will pit 32 members of the local baseball media against one another in a single elimination tournament in the style of our March Sadness/Mediot Madness event. Voters will decide who is the worst.

After all, it always comes back to baseball, Danny. The American Pastime. The beautiful game. The sport of kings. So good, so good. so good!

07/09/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Why all the yellow seats, Lyndon?

Mexicans once again doing a job Americans won’t: winning at soccer.

Next time tell Will Clark to bring donuts.

Never got to see him play, but boy, did my father love him. RIP LB.

I always like when Shams or Schefter tell us who the agent is when they announce a signing. Those guys work hard and deserve it.

Don’t forget to use promo code MALIK for $100 in bonus bets on ESPN BET!

Sox look good against these bad teams, don’t they?

Relax, Halsey.

You either love “MacArthur Park” or you hate it. Am I correct?

Cakes are cooking for Dean Koontz, Chris Cooper, John Tesh, Debbie Sledge, Fred Norris, Jimmy Smits, Willie Wilson, Tom Hanks, Marc Almond, Jim Kerr, Kevin Nash, Christopher J “Gus” Loria, Courtney Love, Scott Verplank, Frank Bello, Pamela Adlon, Trent Green, Marc Andreessen, Scott Grimes, Derek Mills, Kelly Holcomb, Jack White, Dan Estrin, Fred Savage, Ben McAdoo, Issac Brock, Linda Park, and Mitchel Musso.

Aw, man. Michael Madsen. He was terrific is so much. THELMA & LOUISE RESERVOIR DOGS DONNIE BRASCO KILL BILL: VOL. 1 KILL BILL: VOL. 2 And many others. Farewell, Mr. Blonde…

Glacial erratics!

I wonder if there are Yankees fans who ask Grok to create an image of Thurman Munson successfully landing a plane. What?

Jim I have been in retail for a while. The Egg Nog arrives the day after Labor Day. And the Halloween candy arrives the day after the 4th of July.

Hey Gym Gang! This week’s that Pays is, “Come on, we’ve all seen T Quizzle’s gym selfies.”

The cowardly snapperheads who run Red Sox social media account won’t even post about team’s visit to the White House. Like it didn’t happen. Bigger pussies than Napkin Boy Felger.

#CarmineStrong

“What do you mean you gave all your wedding presents away?” – Everyone who bought presents for Drake and Ann Michael Maye’s wedding.

There’s no way Beau Hossler is a real name.

Anyone ever stop and think that Alex Verdugo’s last name, as a noun, means “the executioner” or “the butcher”? Just me? Oh well.

Red Line Reminder: Beginning at 8:30 PM on July 10 – July 13 Shuttle buses replace service between Kendall/MIT and JFK/UMass. Commuter Rail will be fare-free between South Station & Braintree and Porter & North Station.

A guy named Fritz had his Wimbledon tennis match hampered by a glitch?

Hockey goons age worse than female porn stars.

They are so occupied on if they can keep creating Jurassic Park movies they haven’t stopped to think if they should.

I’m gonna fight ’em off
A seven nation army couldn’t hold me back
They’re gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back

And I’m talking to myself at night
Because I can’t forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette

And the message coming from my eyes
Says “Leave it alone”

Alan Hassenfeld and Ed DiPrete died. Rhode Island lore taking a hit today.

Fun Fact: Lucy Burdge doesn’t drink seltzer anymore because it gives her canker sores.

If GIF is supposed to be said with a hard g because of the first word in the acronym, how would you then pronounce PAWG?

Honk if you remember Chef Wayne’s Big Mamou.

Phone battery that was losing 3% a minute got better the minute I ordered an upgraded device. Tough noogies, old cellphone.

Who keeps saying Dame? Who?

Thank you for your interest in the USMNT.

Yeah, I moved on from the Niang leg grab incident pretty much right after it happened.

70s Sports Bro looks like the Muppet Ghost of Christmas Present.

Hit my longest drive ever yesterday. Sat back down in my cart, swigged my beer (Mass market lager, natch) and took a drag off my cigar as my friends were teeing off with “Courtesy of the Red White and Blue” on on the aux. It’s coolest I have ever felt on the golf course.

Was Tom Caron having Green Monster duty supposed to be interesting?

Red Bull team principal Christian Horner has been fired after 20 years with the team.

Best bet for the weekend: a raucous Dropkick Murphy’s Bobblehead Night at America’s Most Beloved Ballpark.

Good seats still available.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Take my tears and that’s not nearly all. Tainted love (oh) Tainted love.

And happy Birthday to actress Kelly McGillis, of Witness and Top Gun fame.

06/25/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Thanks for helping the Celtics earn Banner 18, gentlemen. Good luck with your new squads.

Congrats to the Sonic Thunder. Does that count as their second title, or is appropriating another city’s titles just an LA thing?

Should’ve at least gotten Yaz back for Raffy, that’s just an obvious one, Craig.

Anfernee for Jrue is also an upgrade in the important ‘preposterously spelled first name’ category.

I’ll say this: a woman who shits herself hasn’t owned Boston this hard since Uta Pippig won the Marathon back in ‘96.

Carrabis is so personally hurt that another guy with a tattoo sleeve doesn’t want to be besties with him.

Monday morning quarterbacking here but it would have been cool to see Mikayla Timpson minutes as a counter to the Valkyries frontcourt speed.

Kristian Campbell’s slump is like a cough that you think is only going to last two weeks but instead it keeps getting worse and you wonder if you are even going to make it out of it alive.

Georges Niang looks like a heroin dealer on the Marseilles waterfront.

Holy fuck, was that sun ridiculously goddamn hot here in Boston yesterday. Not sure I remember ever feeling this level of heat before. Check on your neighbors to make sure they have enough water and Percocet.

Prediction: KD will be happy for two months and then get hurt and then be mad that the crowd cheered too loud for VanVleet when he was out and he’ll demand a trade.

Casually dropping the N bomb on air is insane.

Cakes are cooking for June Lockhart, Peter Blake, James Meredith, Eddie Floyd, Carly Simon, Jimmie Walker, Lee Wilkof, Tim Finn, David Paich, Sonia Sotomayor, Paris Themmen, Ricky Gervais, Doug Gilmour, Mike Stanley, Dell Curry, John McCrea, Aaron Sele, Angela Kinsey, Carlos Delgado, Milan Hnilicka, Vernon Crawford, Linda Cardellini, José Cancela, Busy Philipps, Hirooki Goto, La La Anthony, Annaleigh Ashford, Benson Boone, and Mckenna Grace.

Strange loyalty to video game companies basically created arguing on the internet.

The only way WWE decides to hold a show in Saudi on Saturday, is if they’ve had assurances they’re not in danger. To all the tribal wrestling fans: I don’t believe they would send people into imminent danger to hold a freaking PLE.

How bad is the economy that Upton Bell is reduced to cruising in a *Planet Fitness*?

For those asking, yes, new Mets reliever Richard Lovelady has requested to go by his nickname Dicky. So it will be Dicky Lovelady from here on out.

Maybe that Sports Hub guy wanted Golden State assistant coach Nick Kerr’s boat?

If I see one more tweet about Len Bias dying I’m gonna…probably do nothing. But for fuck’s sake…

Hey gang of luckless motorists! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “You are outside your mind if you think you’re sending me a picture of a dead deer,”

Every Red Sox podcaster looks like they have been accused of date rape at least once.

Green Line D branch: Eastbound delays of about 20 minutes due to a signal problem at Riverside. Trains may stand by at stations.

To the men at the gym: Put your nipple(s) away. Please.

I don’t know if I’m in the minority, but I despise when wrestlers have more than, like, 2 belts max.

Steph Curry is half a Nick Kerr.

Will the updated quarterly dummy rankings be released before the long July 4th weekend?

I thought BYFBO was “bring your fat butt over.”

Would advise all gay men with naturally hairy bodies to stop shaving their legs. It looks weird. As a hairy Jew/Italian myself, trim is great. But totally smooth? Strange and unnatural.

Bob Ryan on Russillo’s pod claimed to be the president of the TJ McConnell fan club, then immediately called him TJ O’Connell.

NBC10 should change their call letters to WFKR.

Fun fact: There’s more jazz in Utah than there are lakes in Los Angeles.

Never trust anyone who doesn’t like Joe Walsh. Even people who hate the Eagles are like “But Joe Walsh is alright.”

I’m already annoyed by the people at the gym tomorrow morning.

In other great news, Drake Mayeberry finally married the first girl he ever kissed. This doesn’t bode well for his decision-making ability.

Dozier > Hozier.

Jaylen Brown cannot dribble and does not appreciate infrastructure.

Has Jonathan Bowen shipped out to Iran yet?

As a kid, I cleaned the theaters at the local movie theater on the weekends. I’d sometimes ask for the promotional posters. I had a Howard the Duck poster, which I’d affixed to my bedroom wall for years. He was right next to Heather Thomas. Sigh.

This Nick Kerr is crazy!

Did anyone else ever have a nun turning the World Series game on the radio when 1 o’clock rolled around?

I got you, that’s all I want
I won’t forget, that’s a whole lot
I don’t go out, not now that you’re in
Sometimes we shout, but that’s no problem

I don’t know why sometimes I get frightened
You can see my eyes, you can tell that I’m not lyin’

Look at you, you’re a pageant
You’re everything, that I’ve imagined
Somethings wrong, I feel uneasy
You show me, tell me you’re not teasin’

I don’t know why sometimes I get frightened
You can see my eyes, you can tell that I’m not lyin’

The Aaron Rodgers and Pittsburgh Steelers situation fascinates me.

Honk if you remember the Skybox Restaurant & Sports Bar.

Do you denounce Kate Peter? And all her works?

Dakota Johnson on ‘Hot Ones’ made me appreciate her so much more. Something about the vulnerability the show creates in people can show you who they are. She seems so genuine.

Chet Holmgren is just a tall version of Kip from Napoleon Dynamite after he gets a black gf.

These sincere apologizes are becoming increasingly frequent and insincere.

Karen Read is built like Chris Klemmer.

Wayne’s Fatha is going to be disappointed when he discovers PLAYA BOWLS isn’t a competitor to Wamesit Lanes.

Aloha may mean many things. But pae ʻia means ‘stranded.’

Congratulations to Zdeno Chara & Joe Thornton on making the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Best bet for the weekend: a great crowd coming out to root on the Free Jacks.

“Well, it is finally official. Murder is legal in the state of Massachusetts.”

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. You don’t have to prove to me you’re beautiful to strangers, I’ve got lovin’ eyes of my own.

Heather. Thomas. Poster. Think she’s any good? Heh heh heh.
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