The 15

The Salty Sixteen

Region C
1 Mark Daniels vs 5 Andy Hart
Rabbit eared, thin skinned Dumbo Hart loves his daily management dictated polls, but he won’t love this one. Daniels stomps on that little cockroach.

2 Ted Johnson vs 3 Jim Murray
Smooth brained Ted pummels chrome domed Big Jim.

Region V
1 Chris Gasper vs 4 Adam Jones
Kid Gas wins the “Hypogonadism Showdown” over Bonesy.

2 Andrew Callahan vs 3 Albert Breer
Breer sends Soyjak to the showers

Region N
1 Gabrielle Starr vs 5 Nick “Fitzy” Stevens
The Fake Ivy Leaguer eliminates the Fake Bostonian.

2 Michael Felger vs 6 Nick Cattles
Every year Felger gets taken out by one of his acolytes, but shiny headed Nickeless won’t be the one.

Region T
1 Marc Bertrand vs 4 Tony Massarrotti
Felger’s fool pulls off the upset

3 Cerrone Battle Ackerman vs 15 Trenni Casey
Jerod Mayo would have dubbed this the “Imposter Syndrome” showdown, with both of these pretenders claiming to have insight into the hearts and minds of local sports fans, with neither actually having a clue. The Raleigh resident fends off the Farm Bred Wisconsinite.

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.

The remainder of the Round of 32 went as predicted, save for the Andy Hart upset of Zolak, of whom the local meathead-American community views as one of their own and won’t vote for. Ponderous.

The Salty Sixteen Round will take place Monday, March 24th, the Hateable Eight later that same week. Thank you to all the voters and spectators.

So, if you have been enjoying this year’s Mediot Tournament, or the ones previous, or the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, or the articles investigating our local sports media, or the Twitter hijinks of the local collaborative, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free. The Crowdsignal plug-in that tabulates the votes costs money as well. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you. Don’t make a maniac out of me. Thanks for reading.

The Round of 32 got off to a roaring start yesterday, with Faux Fitzy and Nickeless Cattles pulling off minor upsets, and Adam Jones beating back Chris Curtis’s unwanted advances (Lucy take note).

What does today have in store? Well that’s entirely up to YOU!

Region C
1 Mark Daniels vs 8 Mark Dondero
After getting his ass handed to him by Daniels, expect to see Mr. Dondero pulling his hoodie closed a little tighter while monitoring the halls at Bellingham Memorial Middle School.

4 Scott Zolak vs 5 Andy Hart
Everyone’s dream dad puts lil’ Andy in timeout

3 Jim Murray vs 6 Brian Scalabrine
Scal is annoying but Large Gymnasium is vile.

2 Ted Johnson vs 7 Dan Shaughnessy
Mrs. Johnson’s PTSD is triggering at the thought of the beating Ted is going to unleash on Shank.

Region T
1 Marc Bertrand vs 8 Christian Arcand
There will be no trouble brewing for The Far Side kid in this matchup

4 Tony Mazz vs 5 Dan Lifshatz
Lifshatz’s best bet is Mazz advancing to the Sour Sixteen

3 Cerrone Battel Ackerman vs 11 Kendra Middleton
Hopefully Kendra finds her missing epi pen before her swollen face gets any worse. Raleigh beats Jacksonville

7 Pete Abraham vs 15 Trenni Casey
You people just do not like Trenni. Prove me wrong (you won’t)!

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.

So with Suffolk County having the “Evacuation Day” holiday today, the Tournament will start back up Tuesday and Wednesday, 8 match-ups per day, two full regions each. Tomorrow will feature Regions V and N. Leaving Regions C and T for midweek. This way we can make sure everyone can take part in the honored tradition of voting for their mediots in this tournament while at work. During lunch.

(I will reluctantly move the Sports Junk Drawer to Thursday, so March Sadness isn’t competing against the full might of March Madness.)

Glad everyone is enjoying this in the spirit it was intended.

A pair of upsets Friday in Region T with Trenni Casey dwarf-tossing Mike Reiss, and Kendra Middleton out-pointing Taylor Kyles. Otherwise, chalk.

Several of the match-ups next week look to be humdingers and quite frankly, too good for this point in the tournament.

So, if you have been enjoying this year’s Mediot Tournament, or the ones previous, or the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, or the articles investigating our local sports media, or the Twitter hijinks of the local collaborative, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free. The Crowdsignal plug-in that tabulates the votes costs money as well. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you. Don’t make a maniac out of me. Thanks for reading.