Tony Massarotti. A two-time Consolation Match winner, his terribleness finally shone through when it counted. And his broadcast partner Michael Felger? Not a winner. Fact: not opinion. Sorrey! Thanks to the Collaborative, the Selection Committee, and especially all the voters. See you soon!
No, not Felger & Mazz, it’s Felger versus Mazz! Which of the two is the worst of the worst this year? Entirely up to you. The poll will close at 9 PM EDT.
Time to break out your favorite cliche!
Pick your poison… Morton’s Fork (without the option of jabbing the fork into your skull)… Between a rock and a hard place.. Iran vs Iraq… Choosing between Scylla and Charybdis (in this case more like Syphilis and Chlamydia)… Stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea… Picking the lesser of two evils… A Catch-22… Sophie’s Choice (but only if you wanted the Nazis to take both your kids)… it’s the 2025 March Sadness final showdown, it’s Felger vs Mazz!
The two behemoths of Boston Sports Radio square off so you can determine who will be crowned king of the dipshits.
Why vote for Mr. Massarotti?
Mazz loves to call athletes soft, especially when they won’t interact with the media. Now, for the second time in 12 months, Tony has turned off replies on his Twitter account. His is a racist, hypocrite, coward, lapdog. At his core Mazz is luckiest leech on Earth. He bounced around on WEEI, and even the 1510 The Zzzzone, before latching on to Felger. More than happy to give up journalism for a chance to play the addle minded Costello to Felger’s angry Abbott, Mazz has ass kissed his way to the top of the Boston radio dung heap. A meteoric career in the most miserable medium ever invented, his many on-air faux pas are dismissed by a legion of excuse makers, who – unlike you – know what’s really in Tony’s heart (hopefully arteriosclerosis).
Why vote for Mr. Felger?
Felger’s carpetbagger contrarian act has warped the minds of a generation of local sports media loving morons. We live among people who have whined and moaned throughout the greatest 20+ run in sports. A time period where we witnessed more championships than any city in the history of the world, and they didn’t enjoy them because Felger told them not to not believe what they were watching. Sure, a lot of these people are neurologically deficient, or unemployed squatting deadbeats, or were raised in broken homes by parents with missing limbs, but that is no excuse for the irreparable harm that Felger has done to them!
The Prediction:
Mazz is going to channel the joie de vivre of those guys who stole Felger’s car and steal away the crown.
As you head out to the polls, never forget that much like those fish that escaped their bowl fire in that The Far Side cartoon, no matter how YOU vote, WE are equally screwed.
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.
In understandably light voting, we get the Felger VS. Mazz matchup. Yay.
Championship tilt Thursday, but for now, it’s Big Ted versus Kid Gas in the consolation match. Polls open until 8:30 EDT.
Will it be a 98.5 The Sports Hub drive time intramural finals? Or false erudition vs Cro-Magnonism? Or a combination thereof? Only your votes can give us that answer. Polls will stay open until 8:30 PM EDT.
The Hateable Eight is now The Four You Deplore.
Region C winner: Ted Johnson. Region N winner: Mike Felger.
Region V winner: Christopher Gasper. Region T winner Tony Massarotti.
See you in the polling place come Monday. Enjoy the weekend.
Four matches today. All contestants capable of moving on to the next round. Polls will remain open until 9 PM EDT. Let your hate flow through you!
Welcome to The Hateable Eight. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. YOU must be vote cautiously.
Region C Final
2 Ted Johnson vs 5 Andy Hart
A freakish mismatch that Mary Shelley would love. Frankenstein’s monster meets CTE-gor. Both are so inconsequential that WEEI isn’t even bothering to put either of their names on “The Afternoon Show”. Dumbo Hart has been polishing up on his polls, but he can’t beat this Johnson.
Region V Final
1 Chris Gasper vs 3 Albert Breer
If you squint really hard this is a classic “Nerd” vs “Jock” showdown. Gasper thinks he’s smart because he owns a thesaurus and Bertie thinks he’s an All-American he-man because he beat an indecent exposure charge at THE Brohio State. Kid Gas knows how to pretend to be smart by using a big words when he writes, but it’s awfully strange how his vocabulary becomes very monosyllabic when not in print. And the dying print media is Gasper’s level. He quickly failed at his attempt of being a sports anchor on WCVB, and NESN recently pulled the plug on his little watched Boston Globe streaming TV venture.
When he’s not living vicariously through intercollegiate athletes at his beloved alma mater Albert Redenbacher Breer is busy battling Piping Plovers on the dunes of Duxbury. He also claims to be an NFL Insider, even though has no sources, he never ventures off his couch and has yet to break a single story. He’s great at confirming things, and telling you what he thinks, but much like his Austrian Großvater he knows nothing… NOTHING!.
All his families Nazi gold won’t be able help Albert buy a spot in the Final Four.
Region N Final
1 Gabrielle Starr vs 2 Michael Felger
The big question heading into this match up is will either candidate NOT be on vacation today? When she’s not away on an all expenses paid trip, Gabby lays claim to the title of “Red Sox reporter” for the Herald, but everyone knows that the day-to-day beat work really belongs to Mac Cerullo. The “Gabby Starr Reporter” thing is really a vanity project, funded by her father. Which is a step up from her “Girl at the Game” blog which was a just a grift for trips and game tickets funded by her simp followers. I’m actually crying just thinking about it!
Felger somehow continues to be the dominant presence in the Boston Sports Mediot landscape, polluting the airwaves on 98.5 and NBC Sports Boston. He’s working two jobs just to avoid running into Gene Lavanchy at home.
Felger’s paint by numbers contrarian act won’t be enough to eclipse Gab’s shining star.
Region T Final
3 Cerrone Battel Ackerman vs 4 Tony Massarotti
The last time Mazz came across a couple of guys like Mr. Battel Ackerman he ended up suspended for a week. Ironically, Mazz’s overt racism resulted in Battel getting the chance to sell his soul for a few weekend/holiday slots. Now Battel can cosplay as a Boston mediot, all while living comfortably down in North Carolina thanks to his bread-winning wife. There’s no way “a guy like that” is going to steal the Regional Title from Mazz. Cerrone can’t hear us right?
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.
We have them, your 2025 Hateable Eight. Several have been here before, others in uncharted territory.
The Hateable Eight round will start Thursday, March 27th, then The Four You Deplore will battle it out Monday March 31st. Consolation Match Tuesday April 1st, and the Championship on Thursday, April 3rd.
Happy Monday! Welcome to the Salty Sixteen! Tough decisions will need to be made. Polls will close at 9 PM EDT.
The 15 