(Dear The15net dot com Wicked Pissah Beantown Chowderheads Platinum Elite Members; Here is the musical playlist for your Labor Day weekend enjoyment, now back on its even-numbered year release schedule. Assorted Songs of Work and Toil, Songs of Celebration & Songs of Summer’s Departing. Click HERE to download.)
The Chicken Washer Blues – Seve Providenza
Whistle While You Work – Doris Burke
Jarren Can You Hear Me? – The Wu (From the Wok Opera concept album)
Tainted Pool – Carny & the Shysters
I Line Up Wrong (Then Line Up Wrong Again) – Chukwuma
Bananic Monday – The Camgles
No shirt, no source, no problem – Gabby Starr
Working 9 to 9:05 – Yeho Shua
Dog is Good Food – Not Dead Kennedys
Jerod’s OPTUM Eyes – CRIS-Zero
Main Theme to ‘Oi! Yer Mum’s an Ironmonger!’ – Smush
Permanent Vacation – Dork Brandon
F-F-F-Flipping Burgers – Gresh
I ran my boyfriend over with my Lexus – Karen Read
Hammertime – Robyn G.
I Kissed A Girl (Allegedly) – Kendra Middleton
Not Workin’ for a Livin’ – Greg Dickerson and the Old News
Robot Caddy – Big Doxxing Manny
Bang the Replies All Day – Steve (R)undrgren
I Disappear – Deplorable Kenny
Walking on Broken Glass Eyeballs – Annie Mooreside
Pumpkin Spice SZN – Average White Girl
Sign The Butchie (He’s a Right-Hand Bat) – Murph & the Magic Chefs
Money For Nothing -Gabby Starrs
A Rock Hard Day’s Night -The Beaters
Don’t Stop Bleav-ing and such – Shukrey
The Boy With the Busted Taillight in His Side – The Reads
Forty Six and 2 Dozen Eggs- HillBHLy Elegy
Mac Daddio – Half Miles Davis
Woman Is the My Man of the World – Chibbs and the Bof Fri Fleu
Pickleball NIMBYS – Swellesley Falmouth
Starch Flim-Flam – Red Spud & the Nutmeggers
The Lost Trophy Blues – Walter & Isobel
Rich Girl – Gabby and Starr
Take This Job Application and Shove It – Gregory Dickerson Coe
Gas Station Squadoosh – Mollusk
96 Meniscus Tears – …??? & the Mysterions, idiot
Swiss Cheese Umbrella – Lemonbags
Pancakes! – Li’l Skillet
Exotic Pets – Salamander Dander
Maggie’s Farm – Frank O’Harris’s Provisional Irish Republican Army Choir
Outside In – Wavering Trillburys
Deer Come Out of Nowhere (When You’re Doing Belly Shots Alone) – Das EFX and INXS (with Wreckx-N-Effect)
(Have a song suggestion? Or a compliment? Leave it in the comments!)
I hope everyone on the newly minted Patriots 53-man roster creates some SMART goals so we can track their progress during the season.
Hit that shtick-pilfering hussy with your wallet, Lucy!
Is it me, or was there less local media celebrating going on after Cutdown Day arrived so soon after WEEI axed Fauria and Gresh?
I don’t think the Red Sox are gonna make the playoffs.
Well, at least we can continue to read all of Meghan Ottolini’s columns!
I think Dave O’Brien just said ‘excape.’
Who confuses Hanson and Chumbawumba?
Welcome back, teachers.
Cakes are cooking for Lou Piniella, Ron Guidry, Daniel Stern, Rick Rossovich, Scott Hamilton, Emma Samms, Jennifer Coolidge, Rick Fehr, Lee Janzen, Satoshi Tajiri, Tom Fitzgerald, Jack Black, Pierre Turgeon, Janet Evans, Todd Eldredge, Jay Witasick, LeAnn Rimes, Armie Hammer, Florence Welch, and Ons Jabeur.
So, the Sox clam broadcast the other night? Perfect timing as the team was gushing blood everywhere.
Orange Line Reminder: Between 10 AM and 2 PM all Orange Line service between Forest Hills and Jackson Square will operate on the Oak Grove (Northbound) track. Riders should expect delays between 9 AM and 4 PM as personnel conduct this single track operation.
Hey gang of dubious eventual sexagenarians! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “It’s not that complicated to figure out.”
Joe Milton III could have played on those 2014-2015 Royals teams where everyone threw 101.
“Suck on” violations aren’t a thing.
Most, if not all, aspiring rappers never achieve the complete life turnaround. Kudos to Chyna Whyte, or whoever.
Any of them starting left tackles get waived yet? Not yet? How about now?
Gresh has a very interesting quirk in his contract. Instead of the standard non-compete, they gave him a ‘please sign with the competitor’ clause.
Wanamatonomy was the hardest class I took in college, much more difficult than Neuroanatomy.
Bots write SI articles. You’re thanking a computer, Donny O!
Liking werewolf tweets isn’t a funny troll anymore. It’s providing Aid and Comfort to the Enemy.
Incredible but true! Ted Williams never once in his entire career had a timer violation called against him.
Best job in the industry is the guy who does all the imaging for the new shows that WEEI throws out there. Guaranteed jackpot of work every few months.
Introduce me to that big blonde. She’s got a touch of Tuesday Weld. She’s wearing Ambush and a French twist; She’s got us wild and she can tell. She loves to limbo, that much is clear; She’s got the right dynamic for the new frontier.
Wait Cheryl Hines is married to RFK Jr.? How did I miss this?
Roster cutdown reminder number 7 – Players on the team 4PM September 3rd get paid for Week 1. Making the initial roster on August 27th does not mean the player will get paid for Week 1.
Lou Damn Merloni fucking tries to retcon himself onto the ‘04 team.
Sid Vicious the wrestler won’t be down. Sid Vicious from the Sex Pistols? Also still dead. Wrestling Sid staying in character during the Shockmaster’s debut may be one of wrestling’s greatest achievements. RIP.
Angel Reese and Shaquille O’Neal. Like equals!
They discontinued my TGel? Just because of some alleged dioxins?
So the one thing I do miss about pre-parenthood life is going to dinner by myself Finding a well-researched Wikipedia article and just diving in while waiting for and consuming my food. Great times in the back booth reading about Stalingrad, or Dan Sickles.
Jarren Duran now has 42 doubles, 13 triples, 20 HR and 32 stolen bases. No other player in the history of baseball has done all of those things in one season.
Taxachusetts! Belichick: He’s just like one of us!
Next month marks one year since WWE signed Jade Cargill.
Honk if you remember Cla Meredith.
In the falls of justice, the only justice is in the falls. Sandy, can we get that on a magnet?
WEEI is paying Andy Hart in Lucky Charms.
Shouldn’t losing a baseball announcer be an error rather than a fumble?
Sign The Swayman!
World Health Organization reporting Zappe Fever has been eradicated.
Best bet for the weekend: the heaviest travel weekend yet.
What’s wrong with Ordillo thanking the SI writer Bots?
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friends jforb and Lebron, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Dog days are over.
And happy birthday to Canadian singer Shania Twain.
This is an accurate representation of all the important parts of the Greater Boston Area.
Welcome back to all the college and university students! And a particular welcome to our new and returning squad of student interns here at The15, both in the Greater Boston area and elsewhere:
Emily Olivia Anderson – ’25 University of Massachusetts – Boston
Peter Cates – ’26 Framingham State University
Caylee Chennault – ’26 Salem State University
Evie Dzodocz – ’25 Liberty University
Carla Fong – ’27 University of Connecticut
Wade Fuzzle – ’26 Assumption University
Stanley M. Grzbwczwcz – ’26 University of New Hampshire
Enkidu Jackson – ‘ 27 University of Massachusetts – Lowell
Raymond J. Johnson IV – ’26 Providence College
Bonnie Malfiglio – ’27 Emmanuel College
Seamus MacGuffin – ’27 Boston University
Sarafina Minicucci – ’26 Merrimack College
Thomas Poult – ’26 Bunker Hill Community College
Beatriz Emily Santos – ’26 Northeastern University
Tang Ting – ’27 Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Lawrence L. Trullbrooke – ’25 Boston College
We hope to learn as much from you, as you do from us. Remember: Knowledge Is Good.
Did Mayor Wu ever get that meeting with Jarren Duran?
Crazy that Andy Hart’s kid is pulling in his dad’s biweekly salary in a single weekend.
Happy Hour’s overdue return to the Commonweath shot down yet again? Another W for the Puritans.
A certain percentage of fans are going to treat WAR as a reliable estimate of a player’s value, no matter how obvious it is that it is wrong.
Adam 12, Deathcat Holley. Deathcat Holley, Adam 12.
The International Olympic Committee wants Jordan’s Chiles bronze medal back? Molṑn labé.
Veronica Burton…TD Garden, ten minutes court time, two rebounds, one assist. Zero points on 0 for 4 shooting…your thoughts?
I’m going to give Bedard the benefit of the doubt. It’s clear he meant to say, “Nip Cage is a goof.”
Cakes are cooking for Archie Griffin, Kim Cattrall, Kim Sledge, Jim McMahon, Carrie-Anne Moss, Josee Chouinard, Craig Counsell, Alicia Witt, Jason Marquis, Kelis Rogers-Jones, BJ Upton, Eve Torres, Laura Haddock, Usain Bolt, Kacey Musgraves, Hayden Panettiere, and Bo Burnham.
Love the idea that talking gambling while bouncing your your titties is some sort of intellectual property that needs protecting.
Hey gang of deck chair rearrangers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I don’t need to know anything about the radio losers’ lifestyles.”
I’m sure Bloomberg’s AM signal is already one of the 14 stations beating Jones and MegO, but will they really have more listeners than good old American rock n roll?
‘Keep off the moors and stick to the roads’ was the best advice I ever got in life.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Angel Reese has officially signed a sponsorship deal with Reese’s. Her first “Reese’s Pieces” apparel collection launches today.
Mayo’s “I have impostor syndrome” article from 2021 is a “boy did I outkick my coverage, hahaha!” humblebrag.
A “blend of lifestyle entertainment?” That should give Joansie the ratings he got at The Sports Hub with F&M as his lead-in.
I don’t care how many times you email me about it, I do not want two free weeks of Uber One.
If I’m Michelle Wu, I’m demanding a sit-down with Eliot Wolf right now.
Just saw a Dairy Queen commercial where they’re eating the Blizzards at home. Unless you live right next to the DQ this is a bad idea they melt fast in transit.
A fan with very poor sense of humor yelled “You need a tennis racket” with Duran at the plate Friday. Comedic value? 0 out of 10.
Fun Fact: Everett is not in Boston.
Spencer Torkelson would be a great name for a Professor of Paleontology. That is all.
Lifestyle and entertainment? What’s Keefe gonna do, talk about his Funko Pop collection?
Naming a cat Dr. Doom is great. But it’s especially great when the vet tech announces “Dr. Doom?” in a waiting room.
I only do my banking at Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg Bank.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone.
Lord, we don’t need another meadow. There are cornfields and wheat fields Enough to grow. There are sunbeams and moonbeams Enough to shine. Oh listen Lord, if you want to know.
Frogger is an interesting game because at the highest level of play it’s possible to reach a board that’s not solvable, ending your game. It’s not a true kill screen, however, because with proper strategy that scenario can be avoided.
Two deep throws so far, two completions from Jordan Love to Romeo Doubs. The connection is real and has the potential to be spectacular.
Pochettino? Sounds delicious! Is it something a gaucho chuckwagon makes?
Honk if you remember Rick & Paul Reuschel becoming the first brothers to pitch a combined shut out.
The Pope doesn’t even have a rain gauge in the Vatican FFS.
I know more than a few people who would consider a standard big watermelon to be ‘personal sized.’
Golf swings and fantasy zings: Steve is a pop culture poster!
Oh sure, MegO, she’s obviously the problem. The least-smarmy of the three hosts.
The right Jennifer is out there for you Ben Affleck! Probably.
Maybe making someone other than a sullen, unpatriotic, cigar store Indian-looking player the face of the WNBA was a good thing.
Best bet for the weekend: Red Sox hang tough.
Shu’s angry TikTok thumbnails all look like the last thing Tony Mazz sees before someone steals his car.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Gresh? Fauria?
And happy birthday to Czech tennis player Karolína Muchová.
Not Simone. Not the gravity-defying surfer. She is the image of the Paris Games. And a no doubt about it Halloween costume.
Phew. Recovered from a massive DDOS attack.
So apparently the way to make Zolak finally shut the hell up is to make him the PBP guy.
My dad used to bring me to golf tournaments all the time when I was young. I’d chase conversations and autographs from players after practice rounds. Chi Chi Rodriguez was always among the nicest. I’ll always appreciate his role in those memories as I grew to love the game.
Would love it if Peacock/NBC created a 10- or 12-hour (even longer if necessary) rental or purchase of these past two weeks. Would love the opportunity to rewatch most of it on a cold New England winter night. Almost like a 8-part series even. Any format would be great. A best-of-the-Summer-Olympics movie to watch on a winter night.
Whoever first told Thornton he was funny has a lot to answer for.
Burger King’s croissan’wich is more French than France’s Men’s National Basketball Team.
The Aussies fair dinkum sent a kookaburra to an emu fight, mates!
Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Juju Smith Schuster.
Oh good. The Jimmy Fund cross promotion. Now the Sox game is going to be dominated by dying kids and Dave O’Brien trying to fake empathy. “Hey, how bad was it to hear you had cancer as a teenager? And you said you had 4 different rounds of chemo before you were 12. I’ll bet that was rough.”
Cakes are cooking for Steve Martin, Susan Saint James, Terry Adams, Bob Backlund, Gary Larson, Debbie Meyer, Rusry Wallace, Jackée Harry, Magic Johnson, Frank Brickowski, Marcia Gay Harden, Mark Gubicza, Catherine Bell, Mark Loretta, Wayne Chrebet, Ana Matronic, Mike Vrabel, Juan Pierre, Mila Kunis, Tim Tebow, and Thorsten Margis.
Not happy the way that NASCAR race ended. Real amateur hour stuff.
Red Line Reminder: August 19-25 Shuttle Buses replace service between Kendall and JFK/UMass due to track work. Buses will not directly service Park Street or Downtown Crossing.
Hi @99Restaurants why do you advertise prime rib but then state it as being choice prime rib? It’s either one or the other.
Haliburton is gonna average 70 a game against Golden State next year.
Which is a better animal story—Kristi Noem’s dead dog or RFK Jr’s dead bear?
“North Star” is the new trendy business buzzword for people who talk but don’t actually do anything. I’ve been seeing it used a bunch, so it totally makes sense these dipshits in Foxboro followed along with it.
I ordered up a Mykhailiuk jersey the other day. Fuck.
Twain said that a cat who sits on a hot stove lid will never sit on a hot stove lid again–or a cold one, either. I imagine that quote doesn’t register with anybody under 60, because nobody uses wood stoves with little round lids you took off to put in another stick of firewood. In my childhood that was how we heated the house. But anyway, I always think that Alex Cora is more afraid of cold stove lids than. . .than he ought to be.
Not sure if it’s because they know bread or because Italy is down the street but pizza in France is sneaky good.
You gotta wait at least a month after a gay guy’s death to call someone a fag. Everybody know this.
My favorite Gabby Starr moment was when she tweeted about the Negro Leagues with a photo of her getting a tan. She deleted it soon after.
Can the whites claim Curry? It’s close. How many Blacks go by ‘Steph’ anyway?
Me And The Boys Just a bunch of guys gettin’ in the car don’t matter who’s drivin’ or for how far Feels so good feels so alive No backseat driver tellin’ us how to drive. Me and the Boys Just me and the Boys Me and the Boys Me and the Boys.
Hey gang of secret m-fanz, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Pink Rob really is MAD at goony Jim, for chrissakes!”
How many sacks did Karen Guregian get in the media game?
Honk if you remember Mark Fidrych.
Embiid looks like he’s made up of broken parts.
Everybody in the Red Sox bullpen looks like they’re in the Aryan brothers gang in ‘Mayor of Kingstown.’
Zolak’s sports coat buttons are gonna knock someone’s eye out.
Every pic I see of Jerod Mayo, his head looks like it was poorly photoshopped onto his body.
Gabz is at the beach more than Joe Biden.
Jarren needs to work on his insult game. Is there a Zoom class for that?
Don’t lie and say you don’t envy all those gleeful Olympians at the Closing Ceremony. I sure do.
Evan Lazar is such a goddamn slob. Can we start a GoFundMe to get him an iron?
$15 for a pineapple? Glad I brought my own.
What do you say to someone taking a shit right next to you in public? You can’t chastise him because if he’s crazy enough to shit in public he’s crazy enough to wipe his shit on you.
Meteor showers and aurora borealis and me sleeping through the whole thing.
Best bet for the weekend: No handball matches on the TV.
Taksmaster Kevin Sullivan 1949-2024.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. RC Cola and a Moon Pie.
Wilyer Abreu hitting a three-run homer literally with tears in his eyes after the death of a family member would seem like one of the better baseball stories of the year.
If the IOC wants a foolproof sex test, have those two suspect boxers try and load a dishwasher.
A report late Tuesday said the Patriots are no longer in the picture when it comes to wide receiver Brandon Aiyuk. After reportedly inquiring about his availability, New England decided not to explore trade possibilities involving the pass catcher.
“Belichick stubbornly sticking to his value system” is now “Wolf wouldn’t get stupid with the money.” The tone of the coverage has completely changed. Have to give the team credit: The pizza parties were a fantastic investment.
Minutes after winning gymnastics’ most coveted title, Biles fastened on a white gold necklace and flashed a diamond-encrusted goat pendant toward the camera.
Dating back to 2003, I’ve been through like literally 6 cycles of producing content on the Internet and this is definitely one of the better ones, both just on a personal level and the overall quality of Internet content.
“He’s lacking urgency” the commentator says about the guys sprinting as fast as they can for 10 seconds.
Cakes are cooking for Rodney Crowell, Wayne Knight, Alberto Salazar, Bruce Dickinson, David Duchovny, Elizabeth Manley, Michael Shannon, Charlize Theron, Edgar Renteria, Dimitrios Eleftheropoulos, Samantha Ronson, Jamey Jasta, Sidney Crosby, Kyler Murray, and Jalen Hurts.
I always found Parmesan to be the most sensual of the hard granular cheeses.
Why do French people only have one egg for breakfast? Because it is “un oeuf”! Le chortle!
Green Line B Branch Reminder: Through August 11 – Shuttle buses replace service between Boston College and Babcock Street for track work. Shuttles will not service Allston St, Griggs St and Packard’s Corner due to accessibility issues.
I’m tired of seeing Snoop Dogg. There: I said it.
Worcester’s Own rankings: Stephen Nedoroscik > Eddie Mekka > Tanyon Sturtze.
Who was my first Attitude Era crush? Daffney. She was pretty, but it was more. Her personality just shot through the TV. I’m so beyond happy I was able to interact with her a few times.
Aerosmith. Arguably the greatest American rock & roll band. They will be missed.
Hey gang of hold-in’s, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I said when was aren’t in pads but besides me staying hours on hours to sign and throw the ball around with the fan how about y’all come talk to me.”
Silver Medal PtP goes to, “Who the fuck is Harry Frazee?”
My favorite Lucy Burdge bit on Twitter is where she pretends to like food.
I think I could medal in badminton.
Hey, Liberty Mutual, why is your company gouging the citizens of Massachusetts?
Since they were in town, I feel like I have to say this….im totally not into Metallica. Never cared for them….sorry if i have offended anyone.
“Steamer” is one helluva word. Laugh everytime I see it. – Idiot Zo.
We are living in the absolute hardest era of public restroom handwashing. Desperate handwaving at nothingness, like a wizard that lost their powers. Bathroom sinks and soap dispensers designed by Dark Souls developers.
Field hockey isn’t high scoring?
3v3 hoops is the gayest Olympics event and they have literal horse dancing.
In other baseball news, Biily Bean died, but not the one who wrote ‘Moneyball.’ RIP.
Jake Andrews was placed on season ending IR because he has a torn meniscus. It is torn in several places, and he is set to have surgery, per source.
Top 10 all-time meniscus recoveries:
1 Steve Redding (3rd surgery)
2 Steve Redding (1st)
T3 Robert Williams III
T3 Steve Redding (5th)
5 Steve Redding (11th)
6 Steve Redding (2nd)
T7 Steve Redding (4th)
T7 Steve Redding (10th)
9 Steve Redding (7th)
10 Steve Redding (9th)
HC Mayo constantly seeking validation from the loathsome press corps is astounding, if not surprising.
And it’s a free for all in the parking lot, Tell me who’ll rule the street. And the night explodes when the cops bring down the heat. And the chains they crash like thunder, While the weak ones all retreat. Gotta draw first blood or they’ll read your funeral rights. When the lightning strikes.
Gold Medalist Gabby Thomas, from right here in mortgage-free Western Massachusetts. Lordy!
What kind of alphabet do the Polacks use? I don’t think I’ve ever seen an L with a line through it before.
Every time A Bar Song by Shaboozy comes on I think it’s Wonderwall by Oasis.
I personally don’t understand why tenpin bowling isn’t an Olympic sport. Nearly every country plays it, the pros come from all over the world, and it’s extremely inexpensive for a host country to have a venue in to play it – just use an existing, high-end bowling center in whatever city hosts it.
Honk if you still have cassette tapes in your media collection. Audio or video.
I bet Alex Cora has taken some practice swings at Triston Casas. In his mind.
Bill Weld wouldn’t jump into the Seine.
Hocker? Damn near killed the Norwegian and British runners!
If two guys named ‘Dave & Chuck The Freak’ were broadcasting in this market I think I would know about it.
the next American women’s sport super star should be Ashleigh Johnson if you love water polo.
Anybody else notice that the AI imitation of Al Michaels’ voice doesn’t actually sound like Al Michaels?
Nice of Eck to show up at his daughter’s hearing in the Granite State.
Do they make cowboy boots with big toe boxes? Asking for future Country 93.7 employee MegO.
Best bet for the weekend: huge savings during the sales tax holiday!
(leans slightly) “Greatest guy in the world”(didn’t lean)”never heard of him.”
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Kingasurusand the members of #the15 were used in this columnOh, blame it on midnight.Ooh, shame on the moon.
Et nous souhaitons un joyeux anniversaire à la mannequin française Aurélie Claudel.Ooh, and might I add, là là.
The Patriots are taking time out before and after practice to hand out messages to people who work at Gillette Stadium. The tiny cards have inspirational notes inside, and are autographed on the back. Just a way to let those who work at the stadium they are appreciated. pic.twitter.com/24oz1HChWU
The Sox tapping out every year immediately after the All-Star game is so weird.
Matthew Judon sat on a trash can watching pass-rushers practice? Doesn’t he know they put a PlayStation in the locker room??
“It’s not based on The Last Supper, but rather on an obscure Dutch painting from the 17th century!” has real, “We didn’t name our candy bar after the most famous baseball player in America in 1920, but after the dead daughter of a former President!” energy.
There’s a macabre subset of Celtics Twitter that loves talking about how long Len Bias and Reggie Lewis have been dead.
El Prez can’t claim the child tax credit for his girlfriend?
The US men’s basketball team and the US women’s beach volleyball team are both wearing long spandex pants. Disapprove!
Cakes are cooking for Gerry Philbin, Sab Shimono, Bill Weld, Barry Van Dyke, Evonne Goolagong Cawley, Alan Autry, Michael Biehn, Bill Berry, Mark Cuban, Dale Hunter, Sandra Hodge, Wesley Snipes, Fatboy Slim, J.K. Rowling, Andre Ware, Chris Weinke, Jonathan Ogden, Tim Couch, Zac Brown, B.J. Novak, DeMarcus Ware, Evgeni Malkin, and Kyle Larson.
Here’s the thing: There’s only so many plays one can run on offense in team handball.
@Dart_Adams Donna Summer: from Dorchester or Mission Hill? Always thought Dot but heard/read MH somewhere.
Hey gang of Volvik users, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Are you fucking Caleb Williams?”
Why does Steve Kerr hate Tyrese Halliburton?
Green Line Update: Regular service has resumed between Heath Street and Brigham Circle.
What a stupid ritual wakes are. Gonna kneel in front of this rotting corpse filled with formaldehyde and pray to an old guy in the sky. Totally normal! Free Jacks won their playoff game.
Overheard at #The15 water cooler: “Dude, this gash football game is kinda tense!”
Great to see Dorchester gal Ayo Edebiri kicking ass onscreen with Robert Townsend in S3 of “The Bear”, 37 years after his iconic movie Hollywood Shuffle.
Oh good; water polo has VAR too.
The Call Her Daddy whore should ask Simone if the trainer made her squirt.
Next Olympics: Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Oh wow, Don Orsillo called a Padres no-hitter? I’m sure he’ll never tell us about it.
Anyone know the medal count?
We got on the ol’ Ouija Board to try and contact the restless spirit of Red Sox Poet Laureate Dick Flavin to see if he’d honor us with a timely poem. Here’s what we got:
“Detox Day is a movable feast,
When you need it the most or need it the least.
When your mouth is so dry you can’t even spit,
Or when your overtaxed liver is ready to quit.
Those will be days are the, the days..”
It goes on and on like that.
Duquette’s dumbest idea, that Karen Read is innocent or Wilfredo Cordero?
That can only mean Theo Epstein will be the one to come in and actually free Karen.
And the train conductor says, Take a break, Driver 8. Driver 8, take a break, We can reach our destination. But we’re still a ways away, but it’s still a ways away. But we’re still a ways away, but it’s still a ways away.
A way to shield the hated heat. A way to put myself to sleep. A way to shield the hated heat. A way to put myself, my children to sleep.
Savannah Guthrie always has a look on her face like she just asked, ‘You want to put what where?’
The US women’s gymnastics team is like a Benetton ad.
Tatum getting stapled to the bench was the worst act of terrorism ever involving a member of the Kerr family.
Yes, Ma: I heard about the deli meat recall.
TITTPT.
The Patriots reward another one of their own: The team and Davon Godchaux have agreed to a two-year extension worth up to $21M with $16.5M guaranteed. The deal was done by Drew Rosenhaus, Jason Rosenhaus and Ryan Matha.
Wait, there’s men’s field hockey?
RB Aaron Jones should have plenty of opportunities earlier for Minnesota.
Honk if you remember Jimmer Fredette.
Has there ever been a team like the 2024 Yankees before? I’ve never seen one. It’s like Maris and Mantle were traded to the 1962 Mets.
Hey guys, that’s Lenny DiNardo! *blank stares*
Try harder to make us like you Coach Mayo. It’s going to happen. Soon.
That Aussie RugbyRoo Sevens gal almost ran down Spiff Cedrick like Ben Watson did Champ Bailey.
My grade on the Revs trade? Um, incomplete?
Imagine having a problem with Simone Biles. (Gerry Callahan not eligible)
Tough loss, Renegades.
Best bet for the weekend: Judon gets neither a bag or his flowers.
Le Festin des Dieux – Jan van Bijlert OK, I can kinda see it.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Citius, Altius, Fortius – Communiter.
And happy birthday to American model Chandra North.
Kenley Jansen has an irregular heartbeat? What a coincidence; so do I, when I see him come in from the bullpen! Bwahahahaha!
Sam Hauser, getting paid like he owns a suburban daycare center.
Coors Field features two of my favorite Stupid Cool Things in baseball: The forest in center field, and the row of purple seats to denote one mile above sea level.
Imagine going to Duluth and your first thought is to ask Big Gym about it.
Can’t help but be distracted by a TBS game broadcast using a TNT Sports graphics package.
Aaron Rodgers, reporting for duty on reporting day.
Cakes are cooking for Ruth Buzzi, Bob Lily, Dan Hedaya, Robert Hays, Michael Richards, Lynda Carter, Gus Van Sant, Steve Grogan, Robbie Grey, Paul Geary, Julie Krone, Karl Malone, Barry Bonds*, Nick Nurse, Kristin Chenoweth, Jennifer Lopez, Rick Fox, Patty Jenkins, Danny Dyer, José Valverde, Rose Byrne, Valerio Scassellati, Summer Glau, Anna Paquin, Elisabeth Moss, Patrice Bergeron, and Kyle Kuzma.
Orange Line: Trains may travel at reduced speeds or stand by at stations while maintenance personnel conduct track inspections. Then again, they may not.
Am I un-American if I was rooting for South Sudan?
Been saying Bolt is the most dominant athlete for a long time now…..put some respect on Usain Bolt name.
I don’t think anybody under 40 can throw a frisbee.
Kirk Herbstreit announces new show featuring his dog Ben? The seize and decyst from Mina Kimes and Lenny is on the way! Woof.
Hammer dulcimer!
The multipart BET “Rap City” docuseries was a slap in the face to its longtime viewers. It covered almost NOTHING about why “Rap City” was groundbreaking, essential, or necessary from its inception on August 11th, 1989. I’ll write about it because I remember damb near everything!
I ain’t calling some other grown man ‘McLovin.’
Don’t you just love the pomp and pageantry of the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, Craig? I really do.
OK, trust falls, then the breakout sesh!
Gees, the COVID bubble champs regardless of the sport are sensi and salty.
Poor people always find time to fuck.
Hearing whispers Jonathan Jones had a nice first day of camp. He finished with two pass breakups.
Your New England Free Jacks need a win Saturday to reach the MLR Finals!
The 1901 Detroit Tigers had only one regular or near-regular player who went by and is listed today by his actual first name or a common derivative of that. No less than 3 of their regulars went by the monicker “Kid”. The others were called “Sport”, “Ducky”, “Doc”, “Pop” and “Fritz.”
Moving forward, using all my breath. Making love to you was never second best. I saw the world crashing all around your face. Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace.
I’ll stop the world and melt with you. You’ve seen the difference, and it’s getting better all the time. There’s nothing you and I won’t do. I’ll stop the world and melt with you.
Summer in Boston meant the TV lineup changed. Suddenly, channel 25 added “The Monkees” to the lineup & channel 66 added “Gidget” starring a young Sally Field. Next came the “Creature Double Feature”, “Kung Fu Theater” & Frankie Avalon/Annette Funicello film marathons all Summer.
I made over 100 grand working construction every year Biden was President.
Am I supposed to root against the US Olympic Team because MLS doesn’t have promotion and relegation?
Not even a mention of Klobuchar as a potential VP pick. But that aint a problem for us Klob Slobs, we’re patient folk.
Jerod Mayo is going to re-injure something with all the false hustle he’s putting out.
Honk if you remember the Pine Tar Game.
Was just thinking the other day it’s been forever since I saw a frog in my yard and then yesterday, boom! A tree frog out on the porch. Nature, uh, finds a way.
Commander Biden tried to warn us about the Secret Service.
Going to miss seeing that tall girl play the Olympic 3 on 3 basketball.
Jackie Connors. Now an Eternal Eagle. RIP.
The Sports Junk Drawer turned into MSNBC so gradually no one even noticed. #LeanForward
Best bet for the weekend: Red Sox determine whether they will be buyers or sellers at the MLB trade deadline.
Zesty drip! Mothers, lock up your daughters!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Here comes the night.
BdlG in Gucci, which is not an official sponsor of the 2024 Paris Olympic Games.
Are you now a member of the Patriots coaching staff? Are you sure? Check your emails.
The MLB ASG was very Red Sox intensive. As it should be.
Doubtless everyone in Jamaica Plain was rooting for the Fila-sponsored Barbora Krejcikova, to win Wimbledon, right?
If you can’t use a hammer correctly, sailing might not be your thing either.
MLB Draft: 9 of the first 21 players selected in the first round are Black players. #Diversity
Spaniards must be partying like it’s 1799 with the Euro Cup win and Alcaraz as the Wimbledon Men’s champ.
Ingrid Andress is going to rehab? This is going to ruin the tour.
Bedtime at 8:30 is delightful, sorree!
Cakes are cooking for Dick Button, Tenley Albright, Paul Verhoeven, Dion DiMucci, Joe Torre, Craig Fuller, Richard Branson, Nick Faldo, Elizabeth McGovern, Wendy Williams, Dan O’Brien, Vin Deisel, Anfernee Hardaway, Bruce Walker, Torii Hunter, Elsa Pataky, Ben Sheets, Dion Branch, Kristin Bell, Priyanka Chopra, and Canelo Alvarez.
Fun Fact: ‘Kysre’ is pronounced. ‘kaiser!’
Watching some Nets/Cavs from 1993 and Paolo Banchero reminds me so much of Derrick Coleman.
My grass is so brown Gerry Callahan is throwing rocks at it.
Tough loss at Wimbledon, but at least Jasmine Paolini now gets to go back to The Shire and marry Sam Gamgee.
Three monocle emojis can sometimes mean, ‘I’m happy for my Celtics teammate’, right?
Green Line B and C branch trains are currently terminating at Park Street due to a track problem at Government Center. For service to Boston College or Cleveland Circle from Government Center, board any train and switch at Park Street.
Greg Dickerson: “Is it bad that I’m insanely jealous of the hawk tuah girl? I just want fame and fortune for living life with no talent.” Sad!
Does Dave O’Brien even like his job? Guy should be conducting estate sales.
Red Sox drafted David Ortiz’s son, D’Angelo, in the 19th round. The Yankees will literally never know peace.
My “for you” tab is all fight vids and videos of animals you wouldn’t think would be friends, but are.
Jeff Howe thinks Dickie V. should stop showboating.
Hey gang of insecure phenoms! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’m not afraid of you or your resources.”
BattleBots!
Uh, Dakota Fannings breakout role was in I Am Sam, 3 roles before Man on Fire.
Looking at Shakira is always a treat but once again who asks for music at a sporting event?
No better way to prove you’re definitely not jealous or bothered by criticism than to make another tweet about it a day later.
This Week’s Bill Simmons Mad Libs: “Is Jamie Lee Curtis the Eli Manning of her generation?”
Anybody with the last Campbell is called Soupy or Soup.
Jarren Duran joins Yaz, Roger, Pedro, and JD Drew as Red Sox All Star Game MVP winners.
Chanting at sporting events is like verbally holding hands with other guys.
Two absolutely fantastic rookie pitchers this year, Skenes and Miller. When was the last time we had two rookies like that in one year?
I can see why you think you belong to me. I never tried to make you think or let you see one thing for yourself. But now you’re off with someone else and I’m alone. You see I thought that I might keep you for my own.
Amie, what you wanna do? I think I could stay with you, For a while, maybe longer if I do.
News Item: Bill Belichick to join the cast of The CW’s ‘Inside the NFL’ The CW still exists? Is it on after ‘Gossip Girl?’
Bro, you need to get to Comerica.
What happens if you say ‘Klutch Sports Group’ five times in a mirror?
I’ve seen D’Angelo Ortiz play a few times. Good approach, works the count. Table-setter at Miami Dade. Smart player, too. He worked hard and played two years of juco. Nothing glamorous there, just bus rides and ball.
What a bizarre culture we’ve created where the third wheel on a hockey podcast feels the need to tell us he’s laying off the benzos.
Honk if you remembered to watch the ESPY’s.
Gaylord Perry would have liked that ‘Hawk Tuah’ gal.
Well at least the fans from the South American countries didn’t live down to stereotypes and low expectations in the Copa.
Third Eye Blind can pack ’em in at Great Woods and 50 Cent can’t? We truly live in an odd odd time in history.
Kayla Burton, Steve’s kid, NBC Sports Boston. Your thoughts?
Hillbilly Elegy is a prime day deal $7.45. I Am due for a next book to read and heard it was good.
Aloha means ‘goodbye.’ Aloha, Gregg Berhalter.
Now you can’t stream to Twitter unless you’re a “Premium Member?” Thanks for making it tougher to survive as a content creator, Elon.
Best bet for the weekend: high drama at Royal Troon.
Jaylen. Kysre. Cute couple of hoopers.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Modified limited hiatus?
And happy birthday to pale British actress Kelly Reilly.
The 15 