Author Archives: TheIntern15

Football Cat’s Divisional Round NFL Playoff Picks

Football Cat knows football.

If you followed my betting advice last week I hope you bought yourself something pretty.

SATURDAY SUNSET

Texans at Ravens (-9.5)

Wildcatting Texans look good. Evil Birds are evil. I like the upset.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Packers at 49ers (-9.5)

Prospectors Prepared for Packers.

SUNDAY NAPTIME

Buccaneers at Lions (-6.5)

Pewts versus Pumas. Can’t pick against a cat team at this point in the season.

No salty privateers would willingly tangle with this Lion.

SUNDAY SUPPERTIME

Chiefs at Bills (-2.5)

Bisons lose because of penalties called on their idiot fans throwing snowballs, and worse.

Football Cat’s Super Wild Card Weekend NFL Picks

Wild Cards or wild cats?

Football Cat has graciously agreed to work the playoffs after very successful regular season. And so:

SATURDAY SUNSET

Browns (-2.5) at Texans

Tricksters versus wildcatters. ‘Stroud’ sounds like a cat warning growl, ‘Flacco’ sounds like one coughing up a hairball. Texans win.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Dolphins at Chiefs (-4.5)

Stupidly cold weather favors neither team. So playoff experience wins out. Kansas City gets the W.

If there are any other cheapskates interested in watching the Chiefs-Dolphins game you can get Peacock for free if you sign up for a free 2 week trial of Instacart+ (whatver that is). You don’t need to give them any real info, I just signed up with my burner email address and a fake name; I used’Morris Katz.’

SUNDAY SUNSET

Packers at Cowboys (-7.5)

Cows undefeated at home. Will that matter? Of course it will! Big D big W.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Rams at Lions (-3)

Sorry Shovey Sheep, but this is the only cat team in the playoffs. I’m going to be parochial.

MONDAY SUNSET

Steelers at Bills (-10)

Bisons don’t deserve to win after getting the game moved because of snow. But deserve got nothing to do with it.

Snow Cat. See what I did there?

MONDAY PROWLTIME

Eagles (-3) at Buccaneers

Buccaneers have momentum, Philly does not. The Pewter Privateers win at home.

Egads.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 18 NFL Picks

Get. Yer. Ress.

Lots of teams resting starters in advance of the playoffs this week. I can understand that.

SATURDAY SUNSET

Steelers (-4) at Ravens

Will the Evil Birds take the gaspipe in the hopes the spirits conspire to keep Buffalo out of the ‘yoffs? Yes.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Texans (-1) at Colts

Wildcat Texans round up the Little Horsies.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Buccaneers (-4.5) at Panthers

Bad year for the luckless Black Cats ends as it began.

Browns at Bengals (-7)

Stripey Cats are desperate, Browns have put the bag of tricks away until the playoffs. Cincy wins.

Vikings at Lions (-3.5)

Jungle Kings don’t want to go 3-3 in the division and won’t.

Jets at Patriots (-2)

Prediction: Pats Pirouette Past Planes

Falcons at Saints (-3)

The animals of God’s creation inhabit the skies, the earth, and the sea. They share in the ways of human beings. They have a part in our lives. Francis of Assisi recognized this when he called the animals, wild and tame, his brothers and sisters. Nevertheless, Saints win.

Jaguars (-5) at Titans

Spotted Cats disrespect the Titans.

Seahawks (-2.5) at Cardinals

Cardinals are real birds. Seahawks are not. Nevertheless, the False Birds win.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Bears at Packers (-3)

Da. Bears. Da Win.

Chiefs at Chargers (-3.5)

Chiefs win because of course they do.

Broncos at Raiders (-3)

This is the game that ends in a tie.

Eagles (-5) at Giants

Any NFC East team can beat any other NFC East team. Giants prove this in bad weather against the Phils.

Rams at 49ers (-4)

No Brock Purrdy, no matter? Not if the Shovey Sheep have anything to say about it. Rams win.

Cowboys (-4) at Commanders

Cowpokes want the #2 Seed. Won’t need much fancy ropin’ to get it.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Bills (-3) at Dolphins

Prediction: Payables Pork Porps.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Attack of the Return of the Intern Street Team People on the Street Interview

Our Intern Street Team was out and about over the holiday weekend asking the locals, “What are your New Year’s resolutions?”

To find out where everybody else got those cool hats.
“To speak with more vocal fry.”
“To set achievable goals. And to convince several local athletes to join my new sports marketing agency.”
“To produce a podcast about the documentary about Boston’s sneaker culture.”
“To keep the Christmas tree up all year!”
“To definitely not do that.”
Plagiarism.”
To claim I’m into sports to gain followers on the socials from men who are desperate and want easy clout.”
“To dress appropriately for the weather.”
To grill outdoors every month of the year.”
“To grow into a food allergy.”
“Three words. More latex outfits.”
“To mix in a water spacer every now and then.”
“To travel more than 50 miles from where I grew up.”
“To remember to change the channel on my car radio after listening to the game.”
“More eggs, more black coffee, and more sunshine.”
“To get my CDL.”
“To finally buckle down and finish my manifesto.”

Happy New Year, everybody.

TO’s & Three’s – Celtics Column

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

Modern sports media and its consumption is tightly wound in a disingenuous ball, trust fund kids acting as rats in a race searching for the angle that’ll get them the most attention. A cross to nail someone or themselves on, with the secret knowledge there is a chance they’ll be proven right incidentally regardless of what their overall point was.

The “Celtics shoot too many threes” accusation makes the rounds via Twitter, various podcasts and columnists, and it’s not like Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla is willing to play grab ass with the media to dull the knives. He’s a steely-eyed psycho who acknowledges the limited effect(s) he has on the game and can only help to taxi the flight back to the runway in one piece.* If the Celtics win the title this year, they’ll be no parade for Mazzulla, no vindication, only “You were supposed to, and these aren’t even your plays – they’re Udoka’s”, but it they fall short via Jimmy Butler and his playoff bullshit, or Caleb Martin and the Heat enjoying another outlier series shooting the ball, then he’ll be vilified as the man who screwed the Celtics out of a title. After all, the narrative pushed by “Celtics fan” Bill Simmons is Mazzulla didn’t get along with Marcus Smart, and the Celtics doubled down on their coach over their heart and soul, and this is how he repaid them???

“Um, did YOU write The Book of Basketball, caller? You did not write The Book of Basketball.”

Mazzulla is not doing anything that goes against the grain to earn this sort of scrutiny, and his coaching habits are par for the course. Every team “plays like the Warriors” nowadays, in fact, the Celtics are probably the most diverse team currently in how they mix in inside action with Kristaps Porzingis. Many teams do not have the ability to shoot and make the high variant of threes like the Celtics and enjoy the splendor of the added dimension Porzingis has brought in, and Mazzulla deserves credit for integrating him so smoothly given the issues Rick Carlisle had in Dallas doing the same thing. Sadly, no one ever says that. 

If the Golden State Warriors went and jumped off a bridge, would Mazzulla tell the Celtics to do that too?

Because this is the NBA, where players win games and coaches lose them. Only Erik Spoelstra as of now can make the argument he can strategize around certain defeat. Mazzulla cannot go toe-to-toe with Spoelstra, and the hope is he won’t have to. It’s not uncommon for the better coach to lose because the lesser one had the better team. And for all intents and purposes the Celtics appear to be the better team. They just have to play like it and that all rests on the shoulders of Jayson Tatum. The evolutionary Paul George. Defensive switchblade, underrated court vision, can score from all three levels with a coolness Celtics fans haven’t seen since Larry Joe Bird. 

But there is one fabled test No. 0 must pass in order to truly get over the hump. The stage is set for him to do it, like it was for Bird in ‘81, LeBron James in ‘12, Giannis in ‘21. The team is a well-oiled machine, chock full of talent whose positive attributes are infectious even to the marginal bench players enjoying fruitful stints on the hardwood. It’s an environment you want for your superstar entering his prime. The athleticism is there, the experience is there, he’s gone toe-to-toe with the best the league has to offer and has no reason not to hold his head up high. 

Yet… something is missing and that something is assertiveness. That something is when the world is crumbling all around you, the momentum is no longer on your side and your teammates aren’t getting their shots to go in due to the moment consuming them, can Tatum rise up, take the rock and barrel into contact like even a Butler with the full confidence in his ability to finish or at least draw a foul?

That’s what’s going to be the real moment of truth for the Celtics. Not Mazzulla and his timeouts, or if the three-point well runs dry – that last point is expected because it happens virtually to every team except the one who wins the championship. It’s how will Tatum respond when the team is up against it — and the breaks are beating the boys will No. 0 win one for Lucky? 

The Business remains Unfin18hed.

Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does not live on the South Shore.

. . .

(*- No disrespect to the Orientals)

Football Cat’s Week 17 NFL Picks

Football Cat is quite done with the holidays.

Jumpball Joe Flacco and the Browns did the expected number Thurrsday on the Planes.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Lions at Cowboys (-6)

Cows look to go 8-0 in Big D. They will.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Dolphins at Ravens (-3.5)

Porps not quite good enough to beat the Poes in Charm City. Evil Birds win.

Patriots at Bills (-13)

Pats looking to play spoiler for the Bisons. Not happening.

Titans at Texans (-4.5)

Old Houston team surprises New Houston team at CONSONANTS Stadium.

Falcons at Bears (-3)

Poohs over Peregrines.

Raiders at Colts (-3.5)

Plunderers win indoors away.

Panthers at Jaguars (-6.5)

Spotted cats get back on track.

Rams (-5.5) at Giants

Shovey Sheep prove too tough for the Giants.

Cardinals at Eagles (-11)

Bigger birds win in the unfair feathery fight.

Pregame.

Saints at Buccaneers (-2.5)

Pewts get the home W.

49ers (-12.5) at Commanders

San Francisco! Washington! Feels like the 1980’s! Prospectors win along the Potomac.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Steelers at Seahawks (-3.5)

False Seabirds would take the all-time series lead against Pittsburgh with a win. And will.

Chargers at Broncos (-3.5)

Chargers scrap their way to a win against Old Friend Stidham.

Electricity! Horses!

Bengals at Chiefs (-7)

Why does it feel like the Chiefs have played 10 games at Arrowhead this season? Stripey Cats in a squeaker.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Packers at Vikings (-1.5)

Skol, Vikings!

I just like this picture!

See you in 2024 with the final week of picks!

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

From The15 Vault – BJBSJ in Focus: Scott Kacsmar’s Nervous Breakdown

(Originally Published July 1, 2019 by DeedsyBJBSJ at BJBSJournal.com

I was sunning myself on the Southcoast today, enjoying semi-retirement from the BJBSJ empire, when my phone started blowing up.

“Scott Kacsmar’s taking you down!”

“Kacsmar’s going after you guys! He’s got tweets.”

“Kacsmar’s got receipts on you guys”

Fake Outrage, Real Consequences and Taking Your Life Back

False: You’re 33 and live in your mother’s basement.

In a word my friends?

Bullshit.

Ironhead wishing death on Roger Clemens like he’s Bin Laden is like the sun coming up over Narragansett Sound.

Does @sofascout1 put human hair in mason jars, and hide it in the basement? Probably.

Will Scartsy always slide by with a wink and a nod?

Undoubtably.

It doesn’t matter. BJBSJ trucks in the mud with some of the most feckless human beings in the world: professional sports media. They count on you not being ready to get down on their level and crawl on your belly. Well, we will.

Although we’ll never wish death on a listener’s child, like 98.5’s Big Jim Murray did, we will happily keep Scott Kacsmar unemployed and heavy in his mother’s racist basement for as long as it takes.

Screenshot that one, Sugar Tits!

Football Cat’s Week 16 NFL Picks

This is Badger. Badger has the Christmas spirit.

Big Thurrsday win for the Los Angeles Shovey Sheep. Now for the rest of the games:

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Bengals (-2) at Steelers

Steel City unfriendly to Stripey Cats. Pittsburgh wins

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Bills (-11.5) at Chargers 

Chargers powerless to stop the Buffalo stampede.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Colts at Falcons (-1)

Both teams need a win to stay in or return to the playoff hunt. Preybirds get that win.

Packers (-5) at Panthers

Green Bay get-right game.

Browns (-2.5) at Texans

Trickster Brownies pull another whimsical win out of their helmets.

Lions (-3) at Vikings

Hardy Minnesotans and their outdoor stadium get the edge here. Sorry Jungle King cats.

Commanders at Jets (-3)

The Planes are meh at home, the Prez are iffy on the road. Planes win.

Seahawks (-2.5) at Titans

Seahawks are made up, Titans are mythical. False Birds win.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Jaguars at Buccaneers (-1)

Spotted Cats get their first win this December as an early Christmas present.

Cardinals at Bears (-4)

Non-hibernating Bears win.

Cowboys at Dolphins (-1.5)

Pokes prove Porps can’t beat a good team.

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Patriots and Broncos (-6.5)

Leave all the yappy malcontents like Trent Brown at the Denver Airport. Broncos win.

CHRISTMAS DAY

Raiders at Chiefs (-10)

Las Vegas gets that the smart money is on the Chiefs. KC wins.

CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON

Giants at Eagles (-12)

Someone’s losing streak has to end. It will be the Birds.

CHRISTMAS EVENING

Ravens at 49ers (-5)

Prediction: Prospectors pound Poes.

Football Cat wishes all of you a safe and happy Christmastime free from ignorance, want, & the cone of shame. Well, most of you.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks

Football Cat is rested and ready.

Wow. What a Thurrsday night beatdown. And then the bloodletting. Saturday games this weekend, too.

SATURDAY LUNCHTIME

Vikings at Bengals (-3)

Stripey Cats win streak runs to three games.

SATURDAY SUNSET

Steelers at Colts (-1.5)

Go Horse? I guess.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Broncos at Lions (-4)

Broncos are hot. Won’t matter. Jungle king cats win.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Falcons (-3) at Panthers

Black Cats luckless streak ends. Sorry birdie.

Festive!

Bears at Browns (-3)

Trickster Browns and Joe Flacco. What a match! Cleveland wins.

Buccaneers at Packers (-3.5)

Prediction: Pack Pummels Pewts.

Jets at Dolphins (-8.5)

Prediction: Porps Plaster Planes

Fly you Dolphin, fly!

Chiefs (-7.5) at Patriots

Heart says Pats, head says Chiefs.

Giants at Saints (-5.5)

Francis of Assisi is the patron saint of Italy. Tommy DeVito and his agent are Italian. Won’t matter, Because St. Francis is also the patron of animals. Like me.

So good with the animals.

Texans at Titans (-3)

Houston’s old team edges Houston’s current team. Go Tits!

SUNDAY SUNSET

49ers (-12.5) at Cardinals

Prospectors and Purrdy too much for the Pretty Birds.

Commanders at Rams (-6.5)

Bighorn Sheepies win bigly.

Cowboys at Bills (-2)

Pokes paste Payables.

Gotcha, you ornery varmint, and things of that nature.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Ravens (-3) at Jaguars

Spotted Cats send the visiting Evil Birds back home as losers.

MONDAY NIGHT

Eagles (-4) at Seahawks

Fake Seabirds eke out a home win over the National Bird Team.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

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