Sorry Sixteen Preview – March Sadness 2026
Welcome to Round 3 of March Sadness 2026, when the true pieces of shit separate themselves from the turds.
If you were expecting a “Sour Sixteen” preview, then we have one word for you… SORRRRRREY! It’s now the “Sorry Sixteen” © ℠ ® ™ Patent Pending. And a very sorry preview it is…
Region C
1 Greg Bedard vs 5 Dan Shaughnessy
It took overtime for Shank to sneak into the Sour Sorry Sixteen by the skin of his McTeeth. Look for Bedard to kick his balls up around his head.
2 Fred Toucher vs 3 Adam Jones
Fred Toucher spent a lot of time last week defending himself against accusation of racism. You know who doesn’t spend a lot of time defending themselves against accusations of racism? Non-racists. He doth protest too much advances.
Region V
1 Jim Murray vs 12 Chris Curtis
Advancing to the Sour Sixteen may be the second most shocking thing Curtis has ever done, but Large Gymnasium wins the battle of the bald middle aged dimwitted overconfident flash boys.
2 Marc Bertrand vs 3 Andy Hart
The Far Side kid burns lil’ Andy with his magnifying glass
Region N
1 Gabrielle Starr vs 4 Kevin F Paul Dupont
The woman in sports snips KPD’s sports manhood
2 James Stewart vs 3 Michael Felger
Jimmy Stewart gives Felger the Lavanchy treatment.
Region T
1 Ted Johnson vs 5 Scott Zolak
We will finally get an answer to a question that has been confounding medical experts for decades: Which causes more long term cognitive issues, head trauma or substance abuse? We’ve got good news, you can keep doing drugs kids, CTEd snowplows Zo.
2 Chris Gasper vs 3 Albert Breer
Breer sends Kid Gas to the golden showers.
Vote early and often!
The 15 