The 15

Little Jonathan and Dummy Mayo should have had to drive around Greater Boston and hand out hats and tee shirts door to door.

Where was Chloe the dog when all this was allegedly happening?

I watch “Patriots All-Access” every week solely to see how disgusting Zo looks.

Love getting sucked in watching these late Bruins games and being more miserable.

There are (at least) two other humans named “Efton Chism”?!?

Pats are officially all the way back. Dominating Sports page and the Inside Track.

You’ve fallen into the BBWAA’s clever trap to get people talking about baseball at the end of December! Take some laps.

Why are Notre Dame fans mad at BYU?

Sandy Koufax (90), Tiger Woods (50) and LeBron James (41) all celebrated birthdays yesterday. I’m not into Astrology, but I’d like to hear what some student of the stars could tell me about that phenomenon.

Cakes are cooking for Anthony Hopkins, Alex Ferguson, Andy Summers, Ben Kingsley, Taylor Hackford, Barbara Carrera, Diane von Furstenburg, Burton Cummings, Tim Matheson, Bob Gilder, Tom Hamilton, James Remar, Jane Badler, Bebe Neuwirth, Paul Westerberg, Rick Aguilera, Scott Ian, Paula Barbieri, Brent Barry, Joey McIntyre, Psy, Jason Campbell, Denée Benton, Ryan Blaney, and Gabby Douglas.

PFF numbers are complete and utter fake news. Everyone knows this right?

I’d watch an Uncrustables Bowl.

Somali day care owners in Minnesota think CLNS is a scam.

It’s a good problem to still get worked up when this Celtics team loses winnable road games.

Hey there gang Of very with It pop culture experts! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Cardamom B is my favorite Spice Girl.”

Somebody get Cox Media Group and Verizon Fios TV in a room.

My brother took our Dad to the phlebotomist at Gillete Monday am and saw Hollins walk in. Had a bad feeling when he told me.

You also know the Patriots are back when any matchup would be “bad news for the Patriots” according to the scribes.

Dondy’s gonna open his fill-in spot tomorrow with Greatest Stranglings in Sports History.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

Rich Eisen is the worst. Was Dennis Miller not available?

It’s pretty cool that all of the men and women who work at Barstool have massive tits.

CeCe Peniston had another song?

Best Christmas ever. Had Kowloon with the boy and Nigeria was bombed.

I love a free Snoop Dogg concert during the game. But they hardly ever have a free football game at a concert.

The Patriots beat more women than Martina Navratilova.

Sunisa Lee is my favorite NFR photographer.

Doug Drabek had a better prime than Andy Pettitte did.

I’m so stressed out that I DMed someone to ask if they wanted to see my bologna and now I’m worried I might have been a creep.

All lesbians are Irish-coded, so I’m ok with them being firefighters.

I’m sure Diggs is a total dickhead to be around but I’m also sure every other text on his phone reads something like “is you high bitc”

Chris Broussard looks like Eddie Murphy when he wore whiteface.

Wow, Bert Bell thought an NFL team could have success in one of the biggest cities in America? One with an existing 90,000+ seat football stadium? What a visionary.

In Diggs’s defense, have you ever met a chef? Some of the most egotistical psychos you’ll ever meet. Look at Jen Royle, for chrissakes!

Every chick looks better with the ponytail through the baseball hat. #facts

Do any religions recognize pop tarts as valid sacrifices?

I’m very disappointed this team the media characterized as being a bunch of no-names, cast-offs, reclamation projects and bargain bin finds is probably going to miss out on the #1 playoff seeding due to a tiebreaker.

Meanwhile, in the Bills Mafia Twilight Zone episode, they learn that the only thing that can wedge their championship window open for another season is an undamaged folding table.

Honk if you remember the movie Bill Murray and John Candy co-starred in.

‘Efton Chism’ sounds like a mild oath someone’s aunt might use instead of profanity.

Imagine being proud of yourself or having fun.

You know you’re playing in a prestigious college bowl game when it starts at 11 AM.

Don’t want to close my eyes
I don’t want to fall asleep
‘Cause I’d miss you, baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing
‘Cause even when I dream of you (even when I dream)
The sweetest dream would never do
I’d still miss you, baby
And I don’t want to miss a thing.

Belichick did it right and got the guys a flophouse for when things got heated.

The US Juniors Squad seems to be good.

Should we start a rumor that McConnell called Walsh a cancer patient? Let us know in the comments.

Q. Game time temp is 55 degrees, why are all the in sportz ladies wearing gloves and winter hats? A. It’s cute cozy SZN. Also, broads get cold very easily.

25 years of not giving a tinker’s fig about who wins the NFL MVP comes in real handy right about now.

What do you mean what do I need night vison goggles for? To see in the dark! Duh!

Pour one out for the hip hop artists and such that we lost in 2025: DJ Unk, Irv Gotti, Gene “Groove” Allen, G$ Lil Ronnie, Lotto Savage, Sayso P, Jemini The Gifted One, Young Scooter, and Young Noble. Some at the top of their profession, others mid-process of turning their lives around. Tragic either way.

How fast can Barmore start dating Nicki Minaj?

Every time I see “retread coach” I think it says, well, you know.

Sometimes the Falcons play good, sometimes they don’t.

I will say, the thermostat can cause a lot of issues in a house. Not making excuses.

Rodney Harrison is more worthy of enshrinement in Canton than the majority of those finalists this year. Laughable.

Best bet for the weekend: Patriots fans waiting for a third shoe to fall.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Colored lights can hypnotize.