Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat went 11-3 for the week, better than any of the opposition.
Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
You like prizes.
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Rams at Jaguars
Saints at Bears
Dolphins at Browns
Raiders at Chiefs
Eagles at Vikings
Panthers at Jets
Patriots at Titans
Giants at Broncos
Colts at Chargers
Packers at Cardinals
Commanders at Cowboys
Falcons at 49ers
Buccaneers at Lions
Texans at Seahawks
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our fine squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants
Mercury, draw near, and to my prayer incline, Angel of Jove and Maia’s son divine; Studious of contests, ruler of mankind, With heart almighty, and a prudent mind. Celestial messenger, of various skill, Whose powerful arts could watchful Argus kill: With winged feet, ’tis thine thro’ air to course, O friend of man, and prophet of discourse: Great life-supporter, to rejoice is thine, In arts gymnastic, and in fraud divine: With power endured all language to explain, Of care the loosener, and the source of gain. Whose hand contains of blameless peace the rod, Corucian, blessed, profitable God; Of various speech, whose aid in works we find, And in necessities to mortals kind: Dire weapon of the tongue, which men revere, Be present, Mercury, and thy suppliant hear; Assist my works, conclude my life with peace, Give graceful speech, and my memory’s increase. -The Orphic Hymn to Mercury
Did someone say Mercury?
Sunday Full English Breakfast Time Rams (-3) at Jaguars Horny sheep shag Jags
Oh behave!
Sunday Lunch Time Saints at Bears (-4.5) Poohs rattle Popes
Dolphins at Browns (-2.5) Fairies fry fish
Raiders at Chiefs (-11.5) Indigenous Peoples are on the war path
Please don’t pee pee in the teepee
Eagles (-1.5) at Vikings Philly sinks Norsemen
Panthers (-1.5) at Jets Black cats ground jet lagged New Yorkers
Teterboro Tower, this is Piper 2-0-2
Patriots (-7) at Titans Patriots pinch Tits
Sunday Dinner Time Giants at Broncos (-7) Denver drops Dart
Colts at Chargers (-1.5) Indianapolis Jones pulls the Plugs
Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.
Packers at Cardinals (-6.5) Meatmen pluck pretty red birds
Commanders (-2.5) at Cowboys Washington shuts down Dallas
From Dallas, Texas, the flash, apparently official: The Cowboys stink
Sunday Prowl Time Falcons at 49ers (-2.5) Penix plows Prospectors
Monday Prowl Time Buccaneers at Lions (-5.5) Kings of Beasts maul Mayfield
Monday Sleepy Time Texans at Seahawks (-3) Houston upsets Fake Sea Birds, but it’s still baseball season in Seattle!
It all comes back to baseball, Danny
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
I really wish pitchers still hit in the National League.
Imagine hiring Bill Belichick and being surprised he comes off as arrogant.
I am not ready for a world where Fred Warner had a horrific injury.
Dondero said that the defense and the running backs are in the back of the bus, while Maye and Vrabel are driving the bus. I don’t know if that’s a great analogy.
Hazel Mae did a spectacular job in that champagne storm the other night.
The trend of baseball players wearing Village People moustaches can’t end fast enough.
Non-meniscus injury Jaylen is way better.
Look at Pasta. Look at him. He’s the captain now.
Cakes are cooking for Willie O’Ree, Haim Saban, Jim Palmer, Richard Carpenter, Chris De Burgh, Joe Klecko, Jere Burns, Cathy Ladman, Kevin Harrington, Emeril Lagasse, Sarah Ferguson Duchess of York, Todd Solondz, Jorge Campos, Didier Deschamps, Dominic West, Fred Hoiberg, Ginuwine, Elena Dementieva, Keyshia Cole, Jessie Ware, Jesse Levine, and Anthony Joshua.
Yeah? Well, Optum is in first place for meet & greets, and has been for a while.
Late update to this: source says former Jaguars data scientist Claire Morrison is now an employee of the Vikings.
Sal Frelick just proved once again that you can never go wrong with a Boston College man.
No way Joe Flacco has only played for six teams.
Not many songs can pick your spirits up as quickly as Fats Domino singing the vastly underrated Walter Donaldson’s 1927 classic “My Blue Heaven.”
Drake Maye looks like the coolest of all the cucumbers out there today.
Watched this lady on tiktok pronounce penne as “peh-nay” before pouring her jarred sauce on her overcooked pasta and I almost launched myself into the sun.
Hey Cha Cha Malachi, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, a tie! “Oh, I guess that’s what that noise was,” and “It was dark, so I didn’t see anything.”
Imagine being so old your father was fired by Pop Warner.
Green Line Update: Service between Government Center, Union Square, and Medford/Tufts continues to stand by while personnel address the disabled train. Riders downtown should continue to use the Orange Line for alternate service.
Did I mention that in addition to visiting in all 50 states, and sleeping in all 50 states, I have been to a sporting event in all 50 states, plus Puerto Rico and the U. S. Virgin Islands?
Ahmad Rashad chooses better friends than Bill Belichick.
Teoscar Hernandez makes it clear he doesn’t believe in ghosts, but his wife does, so they have switched hotels in downtown Milwaukee.
Day is ending birds are wending Back to the shelter of Each little nest they love.
Nightshades falling lovers calling What makes the World go round Nothing but love
When whippoorwills call And evening is nigh I hurry to my Blue Heaven.
I turn to the right A little white light Will lead you to my Blue Heaven.
News Item: Research done by UTEP presents evidence that the Chiefs have benefited from slanted officiating from 2015 to 2023, a time that coincided with their rise as one of the NFL’s most marketable franchises.
The Bills didn’t have another ‘Damar Hamlin’ ready in time?
Gary Striewski and Randy Scott are very good with colors.
College kids from UNC think they scored with a Mark Farinella interview.
It’s going to suck when Seattle gets swept by the Dodgers.
Honk if you remember the 1987 NFL strike.
I swear it’s getting darker out earlier and earlier.
Are the Las Vegas Aces a dynasty? It’s quite possible, considering the particular and knowable number of Championships they have won.
Go check out free agency, Breggy. We won’t mind.
You did it, Humpy!
Rest up, sciatica is no joke, Lumbago King LeBron.
Best bet for the weekend: There’s only one answer- The Head of the Charles Regatta. Cya on the weekend thread.
Super Sky Paws to Mercury the Football Cat. Never to be forgotten.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Old Friend Lefty, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locus. It wasn’t my fault. I swear to god!
And a happy belated 50th birthday to Bianca de la Garza, here seen tripping the light fantastic at her b-day bash with America’s Mayor, Rudy G.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
We had yet another winner this week, who will be announced when and if they check their email!
Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Broncos at Jets
Rams at Ravens
Cowboys at Panthers
Cardinals at Colts
Seahawks at Jaguars
Chargers at Dolphins
Browns at Steelers
Patriots at Saints
Titans at Raiders
49ers at Buccaneers
Bengals at Packers
Lions at Chiefs
Bills at Falcons
Bears at Commanders
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our intrepid squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Mythology of the Succubus A succubus is a demon or supernatural entity in folklore and mythology, often depicted as a beautiful young woman who seduces men in their dreams, or on a flight from Massachusetts to Florida, feeds off their life energy and sometimes even causes death – or worse, she may ruin their reputation as the greatest football coach of all time! The Succubus has evolved from a terrifying figure in religious folklore to a more complex social influencer character in modern society, frequently representing temptation, seduction and danger. Her demonic nature makes her a fascinating figure in the intersection of desire, football and the supernatural.
Characteristics of the Succubus
Seductive Appearance: The Succubus typically appears as a beautiful and alluring young woman, using her physical attractiveness to manipulate and seduce her victims. She may even pretend to enjoy reading books on planes. While her outward appearance is stunning, it conceals her true demonic form, which can include bat-like wings, horns, a tail and a very snarky personality – marking her as a creature of the underworld.
Dream Manipulation: One of the Succubus’ defining traits is her ability to enter the dreams of her victims. The victim may be completely unaware that he would have been much happier hanging out with the Manning brothers every Monday Night, instead of listening to parents complain that lil’ Johnny Knoxboro isn’t getting enough playing time.
Energy Drain and Life Force Consumption: A Succubus sustains herself by feeding off the life energy (a.k.a. money) of her victims, often via multiple million dollar real estate transactions. Over time, repeated interaction with a Succubus can lead to a person’s gradual deterioration as their life force, and reputation as a football genius, is siphoned away.
Shape-Shifting and Immortality: Succubi are often portrayed as immoral demons who can take on any appearance they desire, making them highly skilled in deception. Their ability to transform allows them to infiltrate society and manipulate individuals with ease. They may appear as a cheerleader, or a philosopher, or a cheerleader philosopher, or even a philosopher cheerleader. A Succubus may claim to be a recent graduate from the New England Hair Academy but don’t be fooled, she has been ruining lives since the dawn of time.
If you suspect that you, or someone whose football acumen you love, may be under the influence of a Succubus please alert the University of North Carolina Athletic Department at (919) 843-2000 or by visiting their website, GoHeels.com!
Regular evil
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Sunday English Muffin Time Broncos (-7.5) at Jets Broncos bang and mash jolly old Jets
Sunday Lunch Time Rams (-7.5) at Ravens Rams rout Ravens
Cowboys (-3) at Panthers Cowboys flip off black cats
Jerry thinks YOU are #1
Cardinals at Colts (-7) Indianapolis Jones rolls over red birds
Seahawks at Jaguars (-1.5) Fake sea birds soar over spotted cats
Chargers (-4.5) at Dolphins Bolts reel in fish
Browns at Steelers (-5.5) Yinzers devour Brownies
NO!
Patriots (-3.5) at Saints Krafts cook Cajuns
Sunday Dinner Time Titans at Raiders (-3.5) Vegas tops Tits
Did someone say Vegas Tit Top?
49ers at Buccaneers (-3) Baker’s boys boil Mac
Bengals at Packers (-14) Meatmen grind stripey cats
Ouch!
Sunday Prowl Time Lions at Chiefs (-2.5) Taylor’s team tames lions
How big is the wood?
Monday Prowl Time Bills (-4.5) at Falcons Bills bounce back
Bears at Commanders (-4.5) Washington shuts down Ditkas
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
I can’t be giving away prizes every other week! it’s unsustainable!
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
We had another winner this week, who will be announced when and if they check their email!
Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Vikings at Browns
Cowboys at Jets
Broncos at Eagles
Texans at Ravens
Raiders at Colts
Dolphins at Panthers
Giants at Saints
Buccaneers at Seahawks
Titans at Cardinals
Lions at Bengals
Commanders at Chargers
Patriots at Bills
Chiefs at Jaguars
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our intrepid squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Breaking News: Baseball is officially over! Time to take out the air conditioners, put in the storm windows and start raking those pesky leaves. Sounds like a fun weekend of puttering around until Sunday Night Football, but you know what else sounds like fun? Banking goodwill with you significant other! Week 5 has a horrific lineup of games and the weather is supposed to be glorious. There’s no better time than now to break out the official The15 Fall Event Avoidance Generator and topsy turvy that motherf*cker. It’s the perfect opportunity for you, yes YOU, to bite the bullet and invite your loved one to the Foliage Brunch or the Hay Festival or even a trip to the Apple Maze. The Patriots play at 1 o’clock for the next five weeks – think ahead. Remember failing to plan is planning to fail.
Say it ain’t so, Uncle Joe
Sunday English Muffin Time Vikings (-3.5 ) at Browns Norsemen squash woodland sprites
Sunday Lunch Time Cowboys (-2.5 ) at Jets Jets soar to Cowboys crash
Broncos at Eagles (-5.5) Philly nix Nix
I told you these match-ups are boring
Texans at Ravens (-7.5) Scary black birds kickoff spooky season with a win
Raiders at Colts (-6.5) Indianapolis Jones extends the Raiders lost season
More belly rubs Dr. Jones
Dolphins (-1.5 ) at Panthers Black cats feast on fish
Giants (-1.5 ) at Saints David slays Goliath
Davey has been radicalized
Sunday Dinner Time Buccaneers at Seahawks (-3) Bucs sink Seahawks
Titans at Cardinals (-9.5) Phoenix grabs the Mythical Creature Bowl
Lions (-8.5 ) at Bengals Jungle kings dominate the battle of the big cats
They’ll both rip your lungs out once they grow up
Commanders at Chargers (-2.5) Bolts shutdown Washington
Sunday Prowl Time Patriots at Bills (-8.5) The whiteout uniforms whitewash the Patriots
Polar bear in a snowstorm on Hoth
Monday Prowl Time Chiefs (-3) at Jaguars Indigenous peoples skin the spotted cats
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
If the New York Yankees had won last night Karl Ravech was going to drive non-stop to Cooperstown and hand deliver the game footage to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
The Patriots are arguably the best 2-2 team in the AFC East.
Oh, I know how get-off-my-lawnish this may sound, but the fuss about a Super Bowl halftime show eludes me. Just give me a good marching band.
It took all of Europe’s best golfers playing out of their minds to just barely beat the scrappy US Ryder Cup squad. I hope they’re very proud for that.
Oh, you know, that old New England seaside tradition, “ringing the fog bell?”
Can you imagine Kendra Middleton eating fried dough at the Topsfield Fair? The zaniness would be off the charts! LOL
The Raiders let the Bears block the kick so no one would say Tom Brady’s classified intel helped them win.
Humiliating Mut is my favorite Barstool thing ever.
Watching the Wild Card game reminds me that the late Larry Johnson could not freehand draw the Yankees logo. At all.
Cakes are cooking for Julie Andrews, Rod Carew, Stephen Collins, Randy Quaid, Earl Slick, Larry Miller, Jeff Reardon, Leslie Burr-Howard, Theresa May, Martin Cooper, Michelle Bauer, Youssou N’dour, Elizabeth Dennehy, Esai Morales, Mark McGwire, Roberto Kelly, Cliff Ronning, Christopher Titus, Mike Pringle, Scot Young, Zach Galifianakis, Rudi Johnson, Johnny Oduya, Matt Cain, and Brie Larson.
Seth, Good luck on your Book. I wrote in my Book that the two most important positions in America are the President and the Quarterback.
I’m convinced the Sullivan Tire Guy is Greater Boston’s Jimmy Savile.
All Lynn Ferry service is cancelled for the remainder of today, October 1, due to rough seas
Tyreek Hill’s leg snapped easier than a three-year old’s arm. What?
Hey gang of stackers, this week’s Phrased that Pays is, “Mut just got cucked by Hogdale.”
That Ceddanne at bat against Weaver was one of the coolest things my eyes have ever seen. Like seeing a minotaur.
Fun Fact: ‘The Fog Belles’ was the name of the San Francisco 49ers first cheerleading squad.
How does a car race go to overtime?
Ravech acting like Judge playing right field on roller skates is making plays out there like he’s Willie Mays.
I’ll say it again: if you want to be a creator, don’t let brands exploit you. A massive food company just asked me to eat something so spicy it required a safety waiver and for zero pay. I’ve been doing this for 10 years and still get offers like this. No one will advocate for you but you. If a brand says, ‘no compensation, just community,’ the answer is NO. They don’t get to use your image for clicks and their gain for none of your own, because I promise they have the budget. The end.
Fire Country is at least an actual phrase. Sheriff Country makes no sense.
Red Sox Alumni News: Nice to see Francona bring the Reds to the playoffs. Ely De La Cruz is a fun player to watch. Rafi Devers played 163 games this season. Gary Allenson is still alive.
Cam has good rabbit-killing hands.
Zooey Deschanel looks completely different without bangs.
I’m jk I know this usually means a retirement tour or whatever but I have declared the Kings my punching bag of the year.
If you leave, don’t leave now Please don’t take my heart away Promise me just one more night Then we’ll go our separate ways We’ve always had time on our sides Now it’s fading fast Every second, every moment We’ve got to, we’ve gotta make it last
I touch you once, I touch you twice I won’t let go at any price I need you now like I need you then You always said we’d still be friends someday
I always knew Nick Sogard and Nate Eaton would be big for the Red Sox in the playoffs.
Honk if you remember ‘Memphis Seoul.’
Portland Heart of Pine playing on a field with both football and soccer markings is confusing.
Smokey Joe Wood? He was a problem.
Live is one of the few bands actually worse than Nirvana.
Happy trails, Al Horford. You will be missed.
I can’t name one Zac Bryan or Eric Church song, and I’m guessing neither can Gerry Callahan.
The Ryder Cup Envelope Rule?
Best bet for the weekend: early whiteout conditions in Buffalo. Check for Skyway closure announcements!
Douglas, Henry, & Diggs could get used to winning.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Old Friend Hacksaw, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon. We are shakin’ the tree.
And happy Birthday to model and actress Cindy Margolis, the one-time ‘Most Downloaded Person in the world’
Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport! The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat! Welcome to Football Cat’s Wide World of Sports Weekend! In Asia there are the World Athletics Championship finishing up in Tokyo. In the Land Down Under we have an all feline Grand Final in the Australian Football League as the Geelong Cats (a personal favorite) take on the defending champion Melbourne Lions. In Brazil there’s the Grand Chess Tour Finals kicking off (a Blitz isn’t only in football kids). And who could possibly forget about everyone’s favorite jingoistic biennial golf tournament, that the Ryder Cup (any relation to Greg?) is taking place at Bethpage Black (any relation to Shirley Temple Black?) Even the Red Sox are prepping for the playoffs (PLAYOFFS?!?!) But Faith and Begorrah the most important international sporting event of the weekend will be taking place in the Emerald Isle, when the Steelers “host” the Vikings in the first ever regular season NFL game to ever be played on the auld sod. Why the Steelers you may ask? What a stupid question boy-o! Why I ought to bop you on the head with me shillelagh! The Steelers were the obvious choice because of their deep Irish roots. Steeler’s patriarch Art Rooney’s great-grandparents emigrated from Ireland way back in 1840 during the Great Famine. That means current Steeler’s owner Dan Rooney only has to go back four generations to reach his potato roots. Wow a 4th generation Irish American! There are only about 32 other million of those, and half are in Southie. So remember no matter how many times you drop “Sláinte” or “Éire go Brách”, your blood will never be as green as the Sainted Rooney family. Top o’ the mornin’ to YOU, ya’ spud!
The local Mick community couldn’t be more excited
And congratulations to Warren Dull’s Aunt on being the only human to ever defeat Football Cat
Choke on that Fluff lady
Sunday Potato Pancake Time Vikings (-2.5) vs Steelers Stillers hand the Vikings their worst defeat in Ireland since the Battle of Clontarf in 1014
Brian Boru invented sudden death centuries before Bert Bell
Sunday Lunch Time Commanders (-1.5) at Falcons Penix stiffens up and balls out.
Saints at Bills (-15.5) Even Saint Jude is backing the Bills in this one.
The Popes!
Browns at Lions (-9.5) Jungle Kings smear the Browns
Titans at Texans (-7.5) FUN FACT: This game showcases the only two teams in the NFL whose nicknames end in “ans”! Tex top Tit
Did someone say “Texas tit top”?
Panthers at Patriots (-5.5) Black cats get caught looking ahead to October.
Chargers (-6.5) at Giants Jaxon Dart? More like Jaxon Sharts the bed!
Eagles (-3.5) at Buccaneers American birds soar in this battle of the unbeatens
Sunday Dinner Time Colts at Rams (-3.5) Hairy sheep hand Indianapolis Jones his first loss
Jaguars at 49ers (-3.5) Mac tames the Spotted Cats
My good friend Mac and I can’t stop owning
Ravens (-2.5) at Chiefs Scary Black birds murder Mahomes
Bears (-1.5) at Raiders It is officially fall, and the Autumn Wind is a Raider… Vegas baby!
Packers (-6.5) at Cowboys Meat men grind up Cow boys
Eeek!
Monday Early Prowl Time Jets at Dolphins (-2.5) Jets take the toilet bowl
Monday Prowl Time Bengals at Broncos (-7.5) Stripey Cats succumb to hypoxia
I hope this is nitrous
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket or Big Y! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Vikings Steelers
Commanders Falcons
Saints Bills
Browns Lions
Titans Texans
Panthers Patriots
Chargers Giants
Eagles Buccaneers
Colts Rams
Jaguars 49ers
Ravens Chiefs
Bears Raiders
Packers Cowboys
Jets Dolphins
Bengals Broncos (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our squadron of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
The 15 