Week 3 review. Not as good as week 1, but not as bad as week 2. Acceptable.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME Saints at Falcons (-2.5) When in doubt, always bet against the bird team.
Rams at Bears (-3) LA wins the Second City Bowl.
Not the Hollywood hills. Probably.
Vikings at Packers (-2.5) The Sam Darnold experience comes to its inevitable end.
Steelers (-2) at Colts Go Horse.
Go Horse!!!
Broncos at Jets (-7.5) New York nixes Nix
Eagles (-2) at Buccaneers American birds soar over soggy field conditions.
Bengals (-4.5) at Panthers Some cat fights are more visually appealing than others (e.g. Lucy vs Taylor). You can avert your eyes from this one. Stripey over black.
Achtung: Panzer!
Jaguars at Texans (-6) Spotted cats have to win sooner or later. It will be later.
Zzzzz
SUNDAY DINNERTIME Commanders at Cardinals (-3.5) Little Red Birds are too tired after their long flight and fall to the Commies.
Patriots at 49ers (-10) Hopefully the residual Friday Funny effect can carry the locals through the Sunday Sads. Purrrdy pummels Pats.
Browns at Raiders (-2) Go with the Elves over the Elvis impersonators.
TCB.
Chiefs (-7) at Chargers Kelce will score 3 TDs as Andy Reid finally cracks open the Taylor Swift playbook.
Wait, what?
SUNDAY PROWLTIME Bills at Ravens (-2.5) Hairy cows aren’t afraid of scary Black Birds.
MONDAY EARLY-PROWLTIME Titans at Dolphins (-1) Look for the Tits to burst out in Miami.
Jan Hammer Miami Vice theme music intensifies
MONDAY PROWLTIME Seahawks at Lions (-3.5) Big Cats bring the Fake Sea Birds down to Earth.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Any time you can needlessly accelerate your coaching succession plan by two years you have to do it.
The best NFL broadcasts come from the website where I buy $3 knockoff USB chargers that may or may not catch fire.
Anyone who used “Woj Bomb” unironically is an asshole.
I’ve thought about starting my day watching the Vince McMahon documentary. But not sure I have it in me this early.
It’s not a rivalry if the same side keeps winning!.
Is it me or is there a ton of injuries already this NFL season?
Major Red Sox uniform news: The Red Sox will unveil a City Connect 2.0 uniform in 2025 and will no longer wear their blue alternate jerseys. Given the popularity of the yellow uniforms, they have elected to keep it as a core uniform offering for the foreseeable future.
Cakes are cooking for Michael Douglas, Gil Morgan, Cheryl Tiegs, Anson Williams, Pedro Almodovar, Burleigh Drummond, Mark Hamill, Bob McAdoo, Jimmy Garvin, Jamie Hyneman, Michael Madsen, Scottie Pippen, Will Smith, Catherine Zeta-Jones, David Weathers, Dean Ween, Doug Pelfrey, John Lynch, Bridgette Wilson, Matt Hasselbeck, Chauncey Billups, Rocco Baldelli, Jason Bergmann, Van Hansis, and Cade Cunningham.
What does it say about Emerald Square that a herd of bulls at a carnival there couldn’t get out of the place fast enough?
‘Mirror in the Slideshow ‘ sounds like a Taylor Swift album title.
Tatum gets shit on for everything he does but tattooing a picture of yourself onto your back is wild.
One cheer for the 2024 Red Sox for refusing to quit now despite having previously quit a whole bunch of times.
On Saturday, September 28 only, Red Line Braintree Branch diversion will be expanded to include Ashmont Branch. This allows crews to take advantage of construction equipment in the area to remove a speed restriction on Ashmont Branch.
Should I invest in one entity that historically has never lost money or should I invest in the other entity that has rehab programs akin to alcoholism and drug abuse?
Looks like Mercury Morris’s perfect record of being alive is finally over.
Local 26 Hotel Workers putting on a good display outside the Omni Hotel the last couple days. They’ve had people holding the line overnight. Love a good picket line.
Oh no, Old Friend Trent Brown strained his left fat.
Minority position, I know, but Tanner Houck needs a pitch count like a turtle needs a microphone. In the last two years he has been taken out of countless games when he was pitching great. What he needs is a manager who will tell him “Keep pitching; you’re doing great.”
I’m sorry, Jey Uso is popular, but he isn’t Jeff Hardy popular.
“Wheel of Fortune” puzzles went from ‘Alice In Wonderland’ to ‘Say homes, how’s it hangin’, bruh?’.
You’re right, Bill Belichick sucks. Let the fat fucking deli loser handle things.
Bulletin, Bulletin, Bulletin!!! The semi-functional Shohei Ohtani is piling on. He now is 6/6 with 3 HR, 2 SB and 10 RBI. We’re not worthy.
Hey gang of the marginally employed, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, ‘Settle down, you fat retard, and go get Adam Jones his Ensure.”
I’m following Depeche Mode on Twittah. Not sure when that happened.
Darnold appears to have escaped an initial injury scare. Massive collective sigh of relief from the 612.
Reiss is only 5’2″–are we sure he can carry that much water?
Fun fact: Today has exactly 12 hours of daylight.
Make a wish baby Well and I will make it come true Make a list baby Of the things I’ll do for you Ain’t no risk now In lettin’ my love rain down on you So we could wash away the past So that we may start anew…
O’Brien and Youk talking endlessly about hot dogs? Make it stop.
Jrue might also have a tattoo of himself on his back. But how would we know?
Honk if you remember Miss Jean.
Dickie V has so much radiation in him they should call him Chernobyl.
Those Emerald Square bulls were five years too late to ransack the Skycrepers kitchen.
THE BUTCHIE isn’t real and cannot hurt you.
Have we lost perspective on what torn cartilage in your rib cage must feel like?
With the loss of the Athletics, there will be even less there there in Oakland as there was previous.
News Item: Brad Marchand has shed his red noncontact jersey for Bruins practice.
The Padres are the first team in MLB history to turn a triple play to end a game on the day they clinched a postseason berth. Only in baseball, Danny.
Rescue: Hi Surf cancelled yet?
Best bet for the weekend: Red Sox do not win eight in a row and get right back in it.
“So, uh, how bout those bulls in ah, North Attleboro? Didja see that? That chain link fence was more porous, no, er, it was less effective in stopping, erk, them than the Patriots O-Line! Ha. Speaking of steers, try the teriyaki beef skewers. My son is a Marine.“
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Pick Up The Pieces.
Yeah, I know. Even the clamdicappers were laughing at how terrible my picks were last week. I probably would have told you the Pats were going to cover the spread versus the Planes Thursday. What can I say? It was a very tough week to be a cat. Plus, I only got 19 hours of sleep the day before. On to this week…
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME Giants at Browns (-6.5) If YOU think some Giants are going to waltz into Elf Land and come away victorious, then I’ve got some magic beans to sell you.
Bears at Colts (-1.5) Colts clobber Caleb.
Alliteration! Awesome!
Texans (-2) at Vikings Sam Darnold will be seeing ghosts and stars after this one.
Eagles at Saints (-2.5) American birds can’t win on American soil. They should keep flying South.
Chargers at Steelers (-1.5) One Har-bro can beat all your Primanti Bros put together.
French fries and cole slaw INSIDE the sandwich!?!
Broncos at Buccaneers (-6.5) Fun fact: Bo Nix has the shortest full first and last name combo in NFL history. Hopefully that will assuage his grief after yet another loss.
Packers at Titans (-2.5) Pack men gobble up tits.
SUNDAY DINNERTIME Panthers at Raiders (-5) Black cats ride the Red Rocket to victory!
firework noises!
Dolphins at Seahawks (-4.5) Fake Sea Birds drop Coach Drip’s Dolphins.
Lions (-3) at Cardinals Jungle Kings don’t even both trying to find the pretty Red Birds kneecaps, they just devour them whole. A little shakin’, a little tenderizin’ and down they go.
Ravens (-1) at Cowboys Scary Black Birds open a can of whoop ass at Jerry’s World.
49ers (-6.5) at Rams Brock Purrrrdy continues to make everyone forget about the worst trade in NFL history.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME Chiefs (-3) at Falcons Every fan in attendance gets two bags of chips, two hot dogs and unlimited drink refills. Which is good because they aren’t getting a win.
MONDAY PRE-PROWLTIME Jaguars at Bills (-5) Someone needs to ask Trevor who he is tanking for.
WHO ARE YOU TANKING FOR???
MONDAY PROWLTIME ACTUAL
Commanders at Bengals (-7.5)
Stripey cats get off the schneid on their own schedule, very feline of them.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The BBQ Sundae at the Big E was too much even for me.
So there. For the 5th consecutive autumn, the Red Sox are not going to win the World Series.
Keith Smith; your time is now.
Jay Glazer dresses like a coke dealer in Munchkinland.
Sway my way, don’t come undone.
Congratulations Joe Castiglione on having an impact on Don Orsillo’s incredible career.
The player who seemingly concussed Tua Tagovailoa was Bills safety Damar Hamlin, who ironically died but was brought back to life on a football field two years ago.
Owen Pence is absolutely right. Why hasn’t the WNBA commissioner cured online racism yet?
Mike Reiss’ act was out of fear of Bill. That’s all.
Cakes are cooking for Scotty Bowman, Frankie Avalon, Alex Stepney, Otis Sistrunk, Ken Brett, Kerry Livgren, Darryl Sittler, Rick Pitino, Billy Sims, Peter Stastny, Ryne Sandberg, Martin Beedle, Ricky Bell, Toni Kukoč, Aisha Tyler, Jada Pinkett Smith, Lance Armstrong, Xzibit, Jason Sudeikis, Ronaldo, Alison Lohman, and Annette Obrestad.
Boston Globe Pitchbot makes Civil War Andrew Luck look like Richard Pryor.
Was Assistant Wide Receivers Coach Tiquan Underwood okay with waiving practice squadder Jalen Reagor?
OTOH, Wojnarowski was a sketchy, sniveling horse trader. Good riddance.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “At least be good looking if you are going to be so awful.”
Paying $13.50 for terrible sports-writing is what TRUE masculinity looks like.
Have never been the biggest Dwight Howard fan, but you cannot deny how impressive he was tonight on “Dancing With The Stars.”
Orange Line Update: Delays of about 20 minutes due to a signal problem near Wellington. Trains may stand by at stations.
I think the Mike Reiss thing has to do with Patricia. He got really animated when they played a clip of Bill on Brady’s podcast claiming Patricia laid the foundation for the Lions o-line. That then led into Reiss’s need for an apology about the offense the past 2 seasons. These media slobs really hate Patricia. I think the fact that the scribes see Bill “bad mouthing” people now and they are desperate for him to turn on Patricia – which will never happen. It’s all sour grapes and bunched panties.
What I’m going to miss most about Woj is ruining draft picks by tweeting them 5 minutes before they announce them on TV.
Nice work, Team USA winning the Solheim Cup.
Is there a functional mechanism by which MLB could force the White Sox owner to sell the team?
Nothing says the end of summer like a $7 pint of blueberries.
Dive into the technology behind modern stand collar sweatshirts. Learn about advanced fabrics that offer moisture-wicking, breathability, and thermal insulation.
Sources: Patriots are ruling LB Oshane Ximines, OG Sidy Sow, OT Vederian Lowe, and LB Ja’Whaun Bentley OUT for TNF. They will not travel to East Rutherford for the Jets game. In addition, C David Andrews, OT Mike Onwenu, S Jabrill Peppers, and DE Deatrich Wise are being ruled QUESTIONABLE.
Wyc Grousbeck is the definition of what a team owner should be and how they should operate.
Mike McDaniel makes Deuce Tatum look like Bill Duke.
I may not be what the kids refer to as a, “gamer”. But I can still bear Super Mario World for SNES quickly without dying once. And I can beat Mike Tyson’s Punch Out for NES without being KO’d a single time. Take that, young dweebs.
So, Honeycomb, won’t you be my baby? Well, Honeycomb, be my own. Got a hank o’ hair and a piece of’ bone. They made a walkin’, talkin’ Honeycomb. Well, Honeycomb, won’t you be my baby? Well, Honeycomb, be my own. What a darn good life when you got a wife Like Honeycomb.
There won’t be another Woj. The sports industry has adapted to his presence in mere hopes of making more like him, but he’s the GOAT.
Hockey is right around the corner. Sara Civian remains a free agent.
Chappell Roan tells The Face that she has tried the Hailey Bieber Erewhon smoothie.
Sugar Frosted Chocolate Bombs >>> “CoCoBombs”
Honk if you remember John Garabedian.
Mike McDaniel is gonna dress more and more like a Serbian gangster until this thing gets turned around.
The level of narcissism exhibited by Elle Duncan should require hospitalization.
With this release of Thompkins, it clear to me The Patriots are set to move on from Brady.
I’m putting glitter on a pumpkin. Sorry, loser.
The WNBA is headed back to Portland, with Oregon’s biggest city getting an expansion team that will begin play starting in 2026.
I say this every year, but the first few weeks of the NFL are always a dumpster fire. Ugh.
Best bet for the weekend: Don Sweeney dispatching scouts to the Orient to look into sumo wrestlers as a Plan C.
I’ll tell you what the only thing faster than ‘Mondre out there today were those fighter planes! Hahahaha did you see those? Wow. Anyway I want to be truthfully honest with you all right now. All 29 coaches and Robyn will be joining a Teams meeting at 9 AM sharp to discuss Jacoby. How does that man feel? A 27-step drop back and a 13 yard sack? The man needs to be lifted up. And we will be doing that. Anyway there are Crumbl cookies and Hoodsie cups in the back for you all! Much love.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. It must have been something you said.
And Happy Birthday to British model and actress Keeley Hazell.
Hey Lama, how about a little something, for you know, the effort?
I hope you set aside some of Week One’s winnings to buy some treats for Football Cat!
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME 49ers – 5 vs Vikings Brock Purrrrrdy and the prospectors plunder the Vikings
Chargers -5 vs Panthers Black cats can’t help crossing their own path, get zapped by Chargers.
ZZap!
Colts -2.5 vs Packers Horsies stomp the Meat Men into the unfrozen tundra of Lambeau Field.
Giants vs Commanders -1.5 Pituitaries pound Pol Pots.
Saints vs Cowboys -6 Jerry Jones and his many illegitimate children must have had a good laugh after reading that article about Rub-and-Tug Robert’s Hall of Fame struggles. Jerry’s good time keeps rolling.
Cheshire Cat grin
Browns vs Jaguars -3 Spotty cats devour the mystical fairyland sprites.
Jets -3.5 vs Titans My father Bert Bell tells me that in 1959 this would have been a match-up between the “Titans of New York” and the “Oilers of Houston”. Much like Lucy will ultimately outlast Taylor, the original Tits triumph over the new Tits.
Rrrowwl
Buccaneers vs Lions -7.5 Jungle Kings feast on pirate patellas.
Raiders vs Ravens -9 Scary birds don’t break a sweat.
Caw
Seahawks -3.5 vs Patriots Good thing mean old Bill is gone, otherwise he’d inexplicably replace Malcom Butler as honorary lighthouse keeper at the last minute – with no explanation! WTF! The Mayo-noise will be earsplitting after the Patriots start 2-0.
SUNDAY DINNERTIME Rams vs Cardinals -1 Male sheep stomp pretty red birds.
Bengals vs Chiefs -5.5 Stripey cats get their first win of the season at Burrowhead.
Me heap big appropriate your culture!
Steelers -2.5 vs Broncos Men of Steel can’t handle the thin air. The mile high horses run wild.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME Bears vs Texans -6.5 After the he messes with Texas, Calib Williams will be left in tears, seeking solace in the loving embrace of his mother’s arms.
MONDAY PROWLTIME Falcons vs Eagles -6.5 I love watching birds fight! The American birds prevail and the losers gets in my belly!
You, uh, you white meat or dark meat?
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
“You don’t leak to Van Natta about me; I leak to Van Natta about YOU!”
But did it feeeel like a win? Not so sure.
Tyreek Hill’s ongoing audition for a future season of ‘American Sports Story’ is going great.
You know it’s a big game when you hear the smooth sound of Noah Eagle.
I envy how comfortable Steve Perrault always looks.
The Hall could probably be persuaded to put Robert in if he’d end his rhetoric.
I can’t believe Clay Travis hired the Super 70’s Sports guy. Ok, I can.
People say there aren’t enough black baseball players anymore. They’re all on the TBS pregame show.
I’d like the captains patches more if they were the colors of the team. Why the same colors for all NFL teams? Patriots should be blue, red, silver, white…no yellow.
Is the Boston PWHL team named Fleet because of the building contractors?
Cakes are cooking for Brian DePalma, Lola Falana, Mickey Hart, Amy Madigan, Tommy Shaw, Jeff Sluman, Don Slaught, Scott Patterson, Robert Wren, Elizabeth Daily, Virginia Madsen, Kristy McNichol, Ellis Burks, Victor Wooten, Graeme Obree, Moby, Harry Connick, Jr, Maria Bartiromo, Taraji P. Henson, Mack Strong, Richard Ashcroft, Shelton Quarles, Jon Buckland, Ludacris, Ed Reed, Jacoby Ellsbury, Elizabeth Henstridge, and Tyler Hoechlin.
Diana Ross – Upside Down >> all the songs that sampled it.
Just remember, if Mayo turns out to be a good coach it’s because Robert Kraft saw something in him. If he turns out to be a bad coach, look to the coaching tree.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
I must hear something described as “the elephant in the room” twice a week. That’s 100 elephants in the room. How many elephants can you really fit in a room do you think?
Getting a microphone tattoo is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. Might as well wear a shirt that says, “ask me about being in sports.”
Hey gang with a benevolence association, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “redirected to the ground.”
The only snakes I know of are those of Set and his cursed towers. Their evil has spread to every city. Two or three years ago it was just another snake cult, now…RIP James Earl Jones.
Agency news: KLUTCH Sports Group has acquired Ballengee Football, adding its agents including Rick Roberts, Martin Fischman and Don Weatherall and 20+ clients including Malik Nabers, Patrick Queen and Travis Etienne, to their emerging roster. This move follows the acquisitions of ROOF and Rep 1 Baseball earlier this year.
I’m home today playing Borderlands and I have to wonder…do the Vault Hunters have a Union?
Football isn’t my favorite sport but man, it really is the best-looking game on TV.
Weird fences make weird neighbors.
Why can’t Dave Grohl go the Shank route and pretend it never happened? Is it because people have a hard time believing two different women would go to bed with the CHB willingly?
In the timbers of Fennario, The wolves are runnin’ ’round. The winter was so hard and cold, Froze ten feet ‘neath the ground.
Don’t murder me. I beg of you, don’t murder me. Please, don’t murder me.
I sat down to my supper. ‘Twas a bottle of red whisky. I said my prayers and went to bed. That’s the last they saw of me.
Since 1962 the Dodgers have won six NL MVP Awards. The New York Mets have won none. I’m kind of thinking maybe this should be the year?
Lucy Wrights, just winging it. ‘One Take Lucy’, they call her.
The frozen breakfast sandwich people must be in cahoots with the paper towel manufacturers.
The Red Sox are making a mockery of George Herman Fruith’s career!
The Echoes slept through their wake up call in South Bend.
Sarah Spain thinks Van Morrison was writing about b-holes in 1967?
I ain’t calling some other dude Swagu.
YouTube Belichick is great. But it raises the question, what did they do with the other half of Matt Patricia? Deep dive conversational format is actually what I think Brady would be better suited for than color analyst.
Honk if you remember Rod Rust’s hapless Patriots squad.
Man, both sides. Amirite?
YOU fell for the Al Horford retirement announcement hoax! You did! You did!
PSA: the new linkin park clips don’t sound weird because of her singing, they sound weird because all the songs are in new (higher) keys. For sure a factor that should have been considered, but I think she sounds pretty good and now a bunch of young fans get to see them
WooSox manager Chad Tracy said that Mickey Gasper tweaked his back packing up his things after being optioned from Boston back to Worcester.
Won’t someone please think about the Sports Hub producers who were heartlessly let go? No? Okay.
John Tomase. Writing about the Patriots. NBCS Boston doesn’t get nearly the hate they should.
Red Sox refuse to die. But also refuse to put together a winning streak.
Best bet for the weekend: Trust falls in Foxboro before the breakout session.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Miserable Fellow and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Kind of a drag.
And happy birthday to local gal done good singer/songwriter Kay Hanley.
Football Cat is back. And not in pog form, losers.
FRIDAY PROWLTIME (bonus)
Packers vs Eagles (-2.5)
American Birds win by default after Corinthians’ ultras hijack the Meat Men’s team bus.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME
Steelers vs Falcons (-3.5) The Birds of Prey better start praying. The Men of Steel pull off the upset.
Patriots vs Bengals (-6.5) Stripey Cats win in a laugher. Boston beat writers look the other way when offered an extra slice of cold Papa Gino’s pizza and a room temperature Bud Light.
Needs a neon North Star*.
Cardinal vs Bills (-6.5) Red Birds get stampeded by Hairy Cows. Let’s feast on their tasty wings.
Titans vs Bears (-4.5) As stated so eloquently last season: “Tits may be ass.”
Anne Francis, her TV character Honey West had a pet ocelot.
Jaguars vs Dolphins (-3.5) Spotty Cats feast on the Tua Fish.
Jaguars can swim.
Texans (-3) vs Colts Houston will not have a problem.
Panthers vs Saints (-4) To quote Shukri Wright(s) “if you think Carolina is going to win the division, I have a can of corn to sell you!”
Vikings (-1.5) vs Giants Bill Belichick’s dream job may be closer than it appears. Giants lose.
We journey to Jotunheim to battle the frost giants!
DINNER TIME
Raiders vs Chargers (-3) Brother Jim’s charges zap Tom Brady’s Raiders.
Cowboys vs Browns (-2.5) In Enid Blyton’s “Book of Brownies”, a mischievous trio of brownies named Hop, Skip, and Jump attempt to sneak into a party hosted by the King of Fairyland by pretending to be Twirly-Whirly, the Great Conjuror from the Land of Tiddlywinks, and his two assistants.
Dallas prevails.
Broncos vs Seahawks (-6) The False Seabirds win the Russell Wilson Memorial Classic.
Commanders vs Buccaneers (-3.5) Commies keep pace with Patriots in the battle for the first overall pick on the 2025 NFL draft.
OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS
SUNDAY PROWLTIME
Rams vs Lions (-3.5) Big Cats feast on juicy mutton kneecaps. Fetlocks? Lamb hocks?
MONDAY PROWLTIME
Jets vs 49ers (-4.5) Prospectors take down Planes. Achilles tendons may be intact, but hearts are broken throughout Queens.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Foxborough, MA – In a month where the New England Patriots have made headlines with roster shuffles and preseason preparations, one figure has remained a constant in the eyes of the team and its fans: Jerod Mayo. The former linebacker turned coach continues to evolve into a leadership role that many now believe is poised to become more than just defensive coordination — it’s a head coach in waiting. It’s no secret that Bill Belichick has long been grooming Mayo for greater things. Patriots media releases this past month have emphasized Mayo’s involvement not only in defensive schematics but in shaping the entire team’s culture. More than once, Belichick has praised his former Pro Bowler’s football acumen, referring to him as “one of the sharpest minds” to come through the Patriots’ system. But what’s been equally telling is the way Mayo carries himself in the locker room, stepping into a role that goes beyond X’s and O’s.
A Natural Leader
Patriots fans remember Mayo for his tenacity on the field, his ability to dissect offenses as if he were already coaching. Now, as a coach, his instincts are proving even more valuable. Media releases over the past month have highlighted Mayo’s increasing presence during practice, not just with the defense but across the entire roster. In one report, Mayo was seen working closely with young quarterbacks, helping them understand defensive coverages, showing his breadth of knowledge on both sides of the ball. This is where Mayo’s leadership shines. He’s not just building a defense — he’s building a football team. And that’s exactly what this Patriots squad needs in a season filled with question marks. At 37, Mayo is still relatively young by coaching standards, but his command of the locker room is undeniable. According to sources close to the team, players gravitate toward him in a way that reflects both respect and admiration. He’s part strategist, part motivator, and entirely a team-first guy.
The Belichick Blueprint
What makes Mayo’s rise so exciting for Patriots fans is the undeniable parallels to his mentor, Bill Belichick. Like Belichick, Mayo has a meticulous approach to the game. He’s known for breaking down film until the early hours of the morning, and it shows on the practice field. In the latest media release, Patriots personnel commented on how Mayo has taken on more responsibilities, particularly in developing game plans and overseeing all three phases of the game — not just the defense. The Belichick coaching tree is extensive, but few have had the opportunity to learn directly under the greatest coach of all time while playing and coaching. It’s this dual experience that separates Mayo. The Patriots are known for cultivating homegrown talent, and in many ways, Mayo is the epitome of that philosophy.
Subtle.
What’s Next?
So, what does the future hold for Jerod Mayo? It’s not a stretch to say that many around the league view him as a head coach in waiting. With Belichick’s career winding down, Mayo has increasingly become the face of the future in New England. And if the Patriots’ latest media releases are any indication, it’s a future that’s bright. In one interview last week, when asked about his ambitions, Mayo was predictably modest: “I’m just focused on helping this team win games.” But ask anyone in the Patriots organization, and they’ll tell you Mayo’s impact is already evident — and it’s just the beginning.
North Star!
Note: Old Friend ‘Uncle Gizmo’ took a cue from the latest Entitled Town podcast. He input into ChatGPT: “I’d like to create a story in the current style of Albert Breer. It would be a glowing story about New England Patriots coach Jerod Mayo and would use as it’s base Patriots media releases for the last month.” The result is what you see above.
Our long national nightmare of Katie Nolan not being on TV is over.
The Seminoles got wicked Sturrowed! #lol
Jarren Duran being the only guy to not tap out is quite the 180 from two years ago.
Jerod sooo wanted to wear a C as a player.
Johnny Gaudreau seemed to be too nice a guy to have gone to BC. Very sad.
My fantasy football draft strategy? Just vibes.
Cakes are cooking for Ken Harrelson, Ray Floyd, Tom Watson, Martin Chambers, Blackie Lawless, Khandi Alexander, George Hurley, Damon Wayans, John Vanbiesbrouck, Tomas Sandström, Mike Piazza, Ione Skye, Wes Bentley, Pat Neshek, Beyoncé, Hildur Guðnadóttir, Kaillie Humphries, and Olha Kharlan.
Additionally, Brother John Irons is also entitled to a cake today.
Red Line Reminder: September 6-29 No Train service between JFK/UMass and Braintree due to track work. Commuter Rail alternatives are available. Shuttle buses will not service JFK/UMass.
What made you think Jaylen got hacked? Weird tweets?
Hard to believe a health nut like (checks notes) Fatman Scoop just collapsed like that. RIP.
I need to know who the IU and Purdue are of the ACC.
The most effective fly swatter I have ever tried is a rolled-up bath towel. The hitting surface is like ten times larger than fly swatter, and it tends to stun them without smashing them and creating little blood spots.
Do you guys remember how fun it used to be to ask questions?
Hey gang of accountability experts! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “a frustrated Rafael Devers sat with a bat for about 40 minutes staring into his locker.”
Triston Casas exists within a vibe and the vibeless cannot stand him for it.
Who is your personal favorite San Diego Padres prospect who never really made it? Someone who never reached Majors or never got much opportunity to play. I’ll go with Dennis Tankersley. So close to Eck! Had to root for him. But he did nothing to earn more opportunity.
Every time Joe Furey is on TV it seems like the first time ever.
Maybe the racially ambiguous bull dykes shouldn’t goon up on the nice white lady? Just a thought.
Brian Kelly looks like a general contractor that’s always bringing you bad news.
Count me among the Tiafoe fans. Love the way he plays tennis.
Sometimes, in a quiet moment, I’ll be listening to the cicadas, and I’ll get lost in thought and remember that the Boston Celtics won the 2024 NBA Finals and have the most titles in NBA history.
Now look at the people In the streets, in the bars We are all of us in the gutter Some of us are looking at the stars Look ’round the room Life is unkind We fall but we keep gettin’ up Over and over and over…
Me and you, every night, every day. We’ll be together always this way. Your eyes are blue like the heavens above. Talk to me darlin’, with a message of love.
Denver Broncos and two-time Pro-Bowl CB Patrick Surtain ll reached agreement today on a four-year, $96 million extension that includes $77.5 million guaranteed, now making him the highest-paid defensive back in NFL history. Tory Dandy of CAA negotiated the deal.
Katie Nolan won’t stop until she’s fired from every sports outlet in North America.
Franklin Park Zoo lights: Super cool.
The current condition of Ponkapoag must have Donald Ross rolling around in his grave.
Taylor Mathis doesn’t realize she could walk around reading the ingredients for raisins and her followers would not give a hoot. Not one hoot.
Honk if you remember Tom Tupa scoring the first 2-point conversion in NFL history.
Oh yeah, Chris Gasper. There’s your answer.
News Item: Former Patriots wide receiver Danny Amendola joining ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
When selling a home, I tell all my clients, “Hide your Fluff.”
Except for hockey, the C on the jersey always triggers me. It was so lame when Varitek wore it, and the NFL gays it up another level with the stars, always loved that Bill wouldn’t allow it. It’s just another reminder how the Kraft’s are hellbent on distancing themselves from the greatest coach of all time. Complete loser asshole behavior.
Chris Sale was doing his best impression of Eric Idle in European Vacation last year and now he’s pitching like a gentile Koufax.
Best bet for the weekend: Tennessee Volunteer Charles Davis handling Tennessee Volunteer Jerod Mayo with kid gloves during Sunday’s broadcast.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Lebron and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Message of love.
Did Mayor Wu ever get that meeting with Jarren Duran?
Crazy that Andy Hart’s kid is pulling in his dad’s biweekly salary in a single weekend.
Happy Hour’s overdue return to the Commonweath shot down yet again? Another W for the Puritans.
A certain percentage of fans are going to treat WAR as a reliable estimate of a player’s value, no matter how obvious it is that it is wrong.
Adam 12, Deathcat Holley. Deathcat Holley, Adam 12.
The International Olympic Committee wants Jordan’s Chiles bronze medal back? Molṑn labé.
Veronica Burton…TD Garden, ten minutes court time, two rebounds, one assist. Zero points on 0 for 4 shooting…your thoughts?
I’m going to give Bedard the benefit of the doubt. It’s clear he meant to say, “Nip Cage is a goof.”
Cakes are cooking for Archie Griffin, Kim Cattrall, Kim Sledge, Jim McMahon, Carrie-Anne Moss, Josee Chouinard, Craig Counsell, Alicia Witt, Jason Marquis, Kelis Rogers-Jones, BJ Upton, Eve Torres, Laura Haddock, Usain Bolt, Kacey Musgraves, Hayden Panettiere, and Bo Burnham.
Love the idea that talking gambling while bouncing your your titties is some sort of intellectual property that needs protecting.
Hey gang of deck chair rearrangers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I don’t need to know anything about the radio losers’ lifestyles.”
I’m sure Bloomberg’s AM signal is already one of the 14 stations beating Jones and MegO, but will they really have more listeners than good old American rock n roll?
‘Keep off the moors and stick to the roads’ was the best advice I ever got in life.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Angel Reese has officially signed a sponsorship deal with Reese’s. Her first “Reese’s Pieces” apparel collection launches today.
Mayo’s “I have impostor syndrome” article from 2021 is a “boy did I outkick my coverage, hahaha!” humblebrag.
A “blend of lifestyle entertainment?” That should give Joansie the ratings he got at The Sports Hub with F&M as his lead-in.
I don’t care how many times you email me about it, I do not want two free weeks of Uber One.
If I’m Michelle Wu, I’m demanding a sit-down with Eliot Wolf right now.
Just saw a Dairy Queen commercial where they’re eating the Blizzards at home. Unless you live right next to the DQ this is a bad idea they melt fast in transit.
A fan with very poor sense of humor yelled “You need a tennis racket” with Duran at the plate Friday. Comedic value? 0 out of 10.
Fun Fact: Everett is not in Boston.
Spencer Torkelson would be a great name for a Professor of Paleontology. That is all.
Lifestyle and entertainment? What’s Keefe gonna do, talk about his Funko Pop collection?
Naming a cat Dr. Doom is great. But it’s especially great when the vet tech announces “Dr. Doom?” in a waiting room.
I only do my banking at Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg Bank.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone.
Lord, we don’t need another meadow. There are cornfields and wheat fields Enough to grow. There are sunbeams and moonbeams Enough to shine. Oh listen Lord, if you want to know.
Frogger is an interesting game because at the highest level of play it’s possible to reach a board that’s not solvable, ending your game. It’s not a true kill screen, however, because with proper strategy that scenario can be avoided.
Two deep throws so far, two completions from Jordan Love to Romeo Doubs. The connection is real and has the potential to be spectacular.
Pochettino? Sounds delicious! Is it something a gaucho chuckwagon makes?
Honk if you remember Rick & Paul Reuschel becoming the first brothers to pitch a combined shut out.
The Pope doesn’t even have a rain gauge in the Vatican FFS.
I know more than a few people who would consider a standard big watermelon to be ‘personal sized.’
Golf swings and fantasy zings: Steve is a pop culture poster!
Oh sure, MegO, she’s obviously the problem. The least-smarmy of the three hosts.
The right Jennifer is out there for you Ben Affleck! Probably.
Maybe making someone other than a sullen, unpatriotic, cigar store Indian-looking player the face of the WNBA was a good thing.
Best bet for the weekend: Red Sox hang tough.
Shu’s angry TikTok thumbnails all look like the last thing Tony Mazz sees before someone steals his car.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Gresh? Fauria?
And happy birthday to Czech tennis player Karolína Muchová.
The 15 