Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Congratulations to Warren Dull’s aunt for beating Football Cat once again in Week 10!
So. Happy. For. You. Ma’am.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Commanders at Dolphins
Panthers at Falcons
Buccaneers at Bills
Chargers at Jaguars
Bears at Vikings
Packers at Giants
Bengals at Steelers
Texans at Titans
49ers at Cardinals
Seahawks at Rams
Ravens at Browns
Chiefs at Broncos
Lions at Eagles
Cowboys at Raiders (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our hardy heam of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!
and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!
Double TRADEMARK!
As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):
Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!
Sunday Desayuno Time Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5) ¡Los delfines ganan!
Sunday Lunch Time Panthers at Falcons (-3.5) Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win
Times are tough
Buccaneers at Bills (-6) Bills bully Baker
Chargers (-3) at Jaguars Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs
From the golden age of advertising
Bears at Vikings (-2.5) Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears
Packers (-7) at Giants There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.
High brow humor!
Bengals at Steelers (-5.5) Yinzers flatten Flacco
Texans (-6) at Titans Tex squeezes Tits
Sunday Dinner Time 49ers (-3) at Cardinals Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds
He’s gaining on you red
Seahawks at Rams (-3) Horny sheep trample fake sea birds
Ravens (-7.5) at Browns Scary black birds flush the Browns
If it’s brown, flush it down
Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos Chiefs bust Broncos
Sunday Prowl Time Lions at Eagles (-2.5) Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly
He likes his cheese steak extra cheesy
Monday Prowl Time Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders Ranch hands rustle Raiders
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
News item:ESPN and Penn Entertainment are ending their sports-betting agreement early after failing to gain significant market share. The sports-media company will instead launch a new multiyear deal with industry leader DraftKings. The early ending for ESPN’s Penn Entertainment venture and ESPN Bet’s inability to gain scale is a sign of the grip DraftKings and FanDuel have on the market. Sports betting has exploded in America, but smaller companies and later entrants have been unable to capture fans’ attention.
We’re all in!
We here at The15Net.com know how difficult it can be for the little guy to mix it up with the big boys, so we are offering up our services to Penn in its time of need. Our industry leading brand is a perfect fit for Penn’s deep pockets and poor judgement. We have year round features like the ever popular Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer, the wildly successful Football Cat’s Weekly NFL Picks, the eagerly awaited March Sadness, this summer’s surprise smash hit the Summer Mini-Tournament and a cornucopia of other fabulous rib ticklers and side splitters. How does “The15net Bets” sound to you?
And all for the low low price of only $15 million in cash per year! That’s a tenth of what you were paying ESPN, and no one even has access to that channel anymore. So please reach out to Mr. Steve Bosell, the Managing Editor of The15Net.com, at your earliest convenience (if you can find him).
Thank you for you attention to this matter.
Sunday Frühstück Time Falcons at Colts (-6.5) Indianapolis Jones triumphs over those Nazi inspired helmet logos
Sunday Lunch Time Saints at Panthers (-5.5) Black cats scare the bejesus out of the Saints
Giants at Bears (-4.5) Bears send G-men into hibernation
Seems like a bad idea
Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans Spotted cats have a problem in Houston
Bills (-9.5) at Dolphins Buffalo grills Dolphins
Not this time Flipper
Ravens (-4.5) at Vikings Scary black birds continue to come back from the dead
Browns (-1.5) at Jets Browns catch Firesale Ed’s team looking ahead to 2027
Patriots at Buccaneers (-2.5) It’s no longer Baker Mayfield, it’s Baker ISfield!
This will never make any sense
Sunday Dinner Time Cardinals at Seahawks (-6.5) Fake Seabirds snatch up pretty red birds
Rams (-3) at 49ers Horny sheep menace Mac
Lions (-7.5) at Commanders Lions tame Swamp Things
No shirt, no shoes, all action!
Sunday Prowl Time Steelers at Chargers (-3) Bolts can’t penetrate the Men of Steel’s Faraday cage
Monday Prowl Time Eagles at Packers (-2.5) American Birds snap up Meat Men
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat was not beat Week 8! Good effort, though.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Bears at Bengals
Vikings at Lions
Panthers at Packers
Broncos at Texans
Falcons at Patriots
49ers at Giants
Colts at Steelers
Chargers at Titans
Saints at Rams
Jaguars at Raiders
Chiefs at Bills
Seahawks at Commanders
Cardinals at Cowboys (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our spooky band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Every one of your suggestions was fantastic, unfortunately we don’t have the bandwidth to print them all here, but rest assured they will be available for download once the World Series is over. Until then, enjoy this random assortment of responses:
“Blue square lapel pins” – Robert K., Brookline, MA
“A variety of Buddha faux succulent terrariums” – Arianne S., Peabody MA
“Hugs” – Mike M., Enfield CT
“Resumes” – Jerod M., North Attleborough, MA
“Disease infested blankets” – Jeffrey A., Amherst MA
“Yolks from hard boiled eggs” – Brian L., Mansfield MA
“Blue cupcakes” – Joshua M., Nashua NH
“EpiPens” – Kendra M., Jacksonville FL
“Keep your grimy fingers off my blue cupcakes f*ck face. Give out some of those hand sanitizer bottles you’ve been swigging.” – Roger S., Nashua NH
“Serial killer vibes” – Jonathan B., Stoughton MA
“A free ride home from any detox center” – Frank S., Peabody MA
“L’s” – Steve R., Lowell MA
“Charcoal” – Bryan D., Quincy MA
“I can’t remember the question” – Corey B., Dorchester, MA
Speaking of early onset Alzheimer’s, don’t forget to turn those clocks back on Sunday
Why am I waiting an extra hour to eat?
Sunday Lunch Time Bears (-2.5) at Bengals Tigers lose to Bears, oh my!
Vikings at Lions (-8.5) Jungle kings maul marauders
Panthers at Packers (-12.5) Meatmen slice and dice black cats
I think I’d prefer the slicing and dicing
Broncos (-1.5) at Texans Broncos nix Texicans
Falcons at Patriots (-5.5) Patriots finally get revenge for almost losing the Super Bowl nine years ago
What did the Squirtle say to the Charmander?
49ers (-2.5) at Giants Prospectors pinch Pituitaries
Colts (-3) at Steelers Indianapolis Jones yanks Yinzers
Chargers (-9.5) at Titans Bolts tingle Tits
It looks safe to me
Sunday Dinner Time Saints at Rams (-14) Saints get excommunicated in the City of Angels
Jaguars (-3) at Raiders Spotty cats claw Pete’s poodles
Get busy doodle boy
Chiefs (-2) at Bills Chiefs take down tatanka
Those are some crazy looking coyotes
Sunday Prowl Time Seahawks (-3.5) at Commanders Fake sea birds soar over swamp things
Monday Prowl Time Cardinals at Cowboys (-2.5) Cowboys cage pretty red birds
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The first thing I’d ask if I were at a crooked poker game is, ‘Does the table always hum like that?’
Once again, the local media contingent is the last to know breaking Patriots news.
I thought we had so many years left with Beef. His absence leaves a void that can only be filled with fatter, more hilariously named men.
You know it could be a good day when one of the first things you hear is Screamin’ Jay Hawkins singing “I Put A Spell On You.”
Does Eliot Wolf fancy himself as some kind of 6th round draft savant?
The Bruins appear to be bipolar. Unfortunately.
That stuff that Chauncey Billups and Damon Jones are accused of is legitimately the type of stuff that gets people taken out. No exaggeration.
Cakes are cooking for Ralph Bakshi, Claude Brochu, Robbie van Leeuwen, Richard Dreyfuss, Kate Jackson, Guy Gelso, Denis Potvin, Lee Child, Roger O’Donnell, Dan Castellaneta, Jesse Barfield, Mike Gartner, Michael Carter, Randy Jackson, Yasmin Le Bon, Peter Timmons, Joely Fisher, Rufus Sewell, Peter Breen, Marquez Pope, Gabrielle Union, Tracee Ellis Ross, Michael Shur, Ben Foster, Amanda Beard, Maurice Clarett, Chris Baio, Eric Staal, Gio Benitez, Andy Dalton, and Evan Fournier.
Sarge, that picture should be titled ‘Beefcake Heaven’ or the ‘Studs on Causeway.’
It’s always best to point shave in game 7 of the ECF, a game nobody pays attention to.
Orange Line Update: Please continue to expect delays of about 10 minutes while signal personnel work to overcome a switch problem at Oak Grove.
Does Hogdale become the new Barstool Beef automatically, or is a vote needed?
I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: I love rugby style punters.
Hey gang of fun-haters, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “One-day contracts are stupid.”
Never thought I’d be looking at the NBA Tankathon page again so soon but here we are.
Brian Kelly. Free to pursue other opportunities.
I never understood how an inverted W isn’t just an M.
Pablo Torre’s working on Jordon Hudson’s connection to this NBA gambling scandal.
Coach Vrabes is whacking people with connections to the Lombardi crime family.
Isn’t Dybantsa the drug that treats POTS?
There are survivalist ham radio operators with better Arbitron ratings than WEEI’s lineup.
I am physically incapable of not saying Quinshon Judkins without using the same cadence as ‘Leroy Jenkins.’
Climate change stops when we harness the power of pregame show fake laughs for clean energy.
In Deliver Me from Nowhere, Bruce Springsteen says his favorite hotdog condiment is mustard but in real life, Bruce Springsteen hates mustard so much he did a whole yap about it during a show. How the hell did E Street Ombudsman Gary W. Tallent let this happen?
Working on a fun story tonight where I get to combine two passions: special teams and apple cider doughnuts.
We’ve reached the point where it’s no longer Hazel may … it’s Hazel does.
Today I learned that primer is pronounced, ‘primmer’ when used as a preview of something. I have been mispronouncing that for 46 years.
It’s like those veteran suicide awareness commercials, but instead of some jarhead, they send in Bill Burt and “Hardy.”
Barstool Tofu is still alive and well.
Robert Saleh’s defense loves undersized interior penetrators.
I put a spell on you Because you’re mine Stop the things you tell Watch out, I ain’t lyin’.
Yeah, I can’t stand it No runnin’ around I can’t stand it No, put me down.
I put a spell on you Because you’re mine, oh yeah Stop the things you do Watch out, I ain’t lyin’.
Pets are the best so you just have to give them the best life possible while you can and let them live forever in your memories.
Fun Fact: Point shaving in the WNBA is called point waxing.
Pats should sign Jerod Mayo to a one-day contract and immediately cut him.
Honk if you remember the F/V Andrea Gail.
Or maybe Barstool is like Al-Qaeda: One leader dies, they’re automatically replaced. Seamless transition.
TreyVeyon got his touches! Now what to complain about?
If Hogdale is streaming to ten people during a normal game, I wonder what was happening in the 18th inning the other night.
Another reminder MLB should have emergency backup pitchers in the stands. EBUPs.
I can’t remember a Sunday night when I didn’t think Cris Collinsworth is an asshole. Last Sunday was not one of them.
Sad about Logan Mankins. Maybe Speros stole his donor kidney?
Why on Earth is Marlins Man still a thing? Go away already. It’s played out.
Best bet for the weekend: zero bags of leftover candy.
Bad start, good finish.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Old Friends Hacksaw & Yahtzee, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Happy Halloween, ladies. (laughs) Nuns. No sense of humor.
And happy Birthday to actress Winona Ryder, who puts one on a Halloween frame of mind.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat was outpicked by the Merrimack Valley’s savviest aunt. Congratulations, lady.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Hat. Shirt. Fluff.
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Dolphins at Falcons
Bears at Ravens
Bills at Panthers
Jets at Bengals
49ers at Texans
Browns at Patriots
Giants at Eagles
Buccaneers at Saints
Cowboys at Broncos
Titans at Colts
Packers at Steelers
Commanders at Chiefs (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our merry band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
With Halloween only one week away you are probably looking for a fun, yet simple, way to get into the spooky spirit. Little did you know that bone chilling excitement is just a phone call away.
Traverse into the eerie elements of the other world and encounter those who lurk in the night. Call the Halloween Haunted Hotline at 585-IF-U-DARE! Carefully choose your fright, not all who call survive the night.
There are many haunted attractions in New England, but none scarier than the House on Harris Road in Nashua, NH. Home of the infamous “Death Couch”. Those who dare sit on the sofa will be doomed, and not just because they’ve come in contact with its sticky coating of ectoplasm. Within the past three years there have been documented cases of a man suffering a debilitating stroke, another being institutionalized (multiple times), numerous extraterrestrial visitations and one actual death happening to people after they’ve sat upon the cursed couch. If you’re interested in purchasing it, or some old ceiling tiles, you can call 603-881-6980. In lieu of cash, blue cupcakes will be accepted in trade.
In celebration of the Halloween season, Sony Pictures and Ghost Corps have launched a brand-new campaign, letting fans both call and text the Ghostbusters. If you’ve got something strange in your neighborhood to report, pick up the phone and call (or text) 516-718-TRAP.
Wrinkles the Clown is no Stephen King character, but that doesn’t make this real-life clown any less creepy. Based in Naples, Florida, this clown offers a wide variety of services, like performing at parties and intentionally scaring children. Calling 407-734-0254 sends you to his voicemail, where we’re told you can hear a pretty chilling message.
Would you like to speak with Frankenstein’s monosyllabic monster? Then just dial 617-779-7937 any weekday afternoon between 2 pm and 6 pm. Remember he has an abnormal brain, so please be patient and speak slowly.
Bread good… ratings BAD!
Just remember that standard message and data rates may apply.
Sunday Lunch Time Dolphins at Falcons (-7.5) Penix penetrates porpoises
Bears at Ravens (-6.5) Scary black birds spook da’ Bears
Frightening
Bills (-7.5) at Panthers Hairy cows rub black cats the wrong way
Jets at Bengals (-6.5) Stripey cats maul Jets
49ers at Texans (-1.5) Mac gives Houston problems
My good friend Mac continues to own
Browns at Patriots (-7) It’s no longer Drake may… it’s Drake IS!
Drake-a-mania grips Hub!
Giants at Eagles (-7.5) Philly dash Dart
Sunday Dinner Time Buccaneers (-4.5) at Saints Bucs cook Cajuns
Cowboys at Broncos (-3.5) Denver does Dallas
We said Denver, not Debbie… D E N V E R
Titans at Colts (-14) Indianapolis Jones whips Tits
Sunday Prowl Time Packers at Steelers (-3) Packmen rout Rodgers
Looking sharp
Monday Prowl Time Commanders at Chiefs (-12.5) KC shuts down DC
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Football Cat went 11-3 for the week, better than any of the opposition.
Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
You like prizes.
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Rams at Jaguars
Saints at Bears
Dolphins at Browns
Raiders at Chiefs
Eagles at Vikings
Panthers at Jets
Patriots at Titans
Giants at Broncos
Colts at Chargers
Packers at Cardinals
Commanders at Cowboys
Falcons at 49ers
Buccaneers at Lions
Texans at Seahawks
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our fine squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants
Mercury, draw near, and to my prayer incline, Angel of Jove and Maia’s son divine; Studious of contests, ruler of mankind, With heart almighty, and a prudent mind. Celestial messenger, of various skill, Whose powerful arts could watchful Argus kill: With winged feet, ’tis thine thro’ air to course, O friend of man, and prophet of discourse: Great life-supporter, to rejoice is thine, In arts gymnastic, and in fraud divine: With power endured all language to explain, Of care the loosener, and the source of gain. Whose hand contains of blameless peace the rod, Corucian, blessed, profitable God; Of various speech, whose aid in works we find, And in necessities to mortals kind: Dire weapon of the tongue, which men revere, Be present, Mercury, and thy suppliant hear; Assist my works, conclude my life with peace, Give graceful speech, and my memory’s increase. -The Orphic Hymn to Mercury
Did someone say Mercury?
Sunday Full English Breakfast Time Rams (-3) at Jaguars Horny sheep shag Jags
Oh behave!
Sunday Lunch Time Saints at Bears (-4.5) Poohs rattle Popes
Dolphins at Browns (-2.5) Fairies fry fish
Raiders at Chiefs (-11.5) Indigenous Peoples are on the war path
Please don’t pee pee in the teepee
Eagles (-1.5) at Vikings Philly sinks Norsemen
Panthers (-1.5) at Jets Black cats ground jet lagged New Yorkers
Teterboro Tower, this is Piper 2-0-2
Patriots (-7) at Titans Patriots pinch Tits
Sunday Dinner Time Giants at Broncos (-7) Denver drops Dart
Colts at Chargers (-1.5) Indianapolis Jones pulls the Plugs
Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.
Packers at Cardinals (-6.5) Meatmen pluck pretty red birds
Commanders (-2.5) at Cowboys Washington shuts down Dallas
From Dallas, Texas, the flash, apparently official: The Cowboys stink
Sunday Prowl Time Falcons at 49ers (-2.5) Penix plows Prospectors
Monday Prowl Time Buccaneers at Lions (-5.5) Kings of Beasts maul Mayfield
Monday Sleepy Time Texans at Seahawks (-3) Houston upsets Fake Sea Birds, but it’s still baseball season in Seattle!
It all comes back to baseball, Danny
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The 15 