Breaking News: Baseball is officially over! Time to take out the air conditioners, put in the storm windows and start raking those pesky leaves. Sounds like a fun weekend of puttering around until Sunday Night Football, but you know what else sounds like fun? Banking goodwill with you significant other! Week 5 has a horrific lineup of games and the weather is supposed to be glorious. There’s no better time than now to break out the official The15 Fall Event Avoidance Generator and topsy turvy that motherf*cker. It’s the perfect opportunity for you, yes YOU, to bite the bullet and invite your loved one to the Foliage Brunch or the Hay Festival or even a trip to the Apple Maze. The Patriots play at 1 o’clock for the next five weeks – think ahead. Remember failing to plan is planning to fail.
Say it ain’t so, Uncle Joe
Sunday English Muffin Time Vikings (-3.5 ) at Browns Norsemen squash woodland sprites
Sunday Lunch Time Cowboys (-2.5 ) at Jets Jets soar to Cowboys crash
Broncos at Eagles (-5.5) Philly nix Nix
I told you these match-ups are boring
Texans at Ravens (-7.5) Scary black birds kickoff spooky season with a win
Raiders at Colts (-6.5) Indianapolis Jones extends the Raiders lost season
More belly rubs Dr. Jones
Dolphins (-1.5 ) at Panthers Black cats feast on fish
Giants (-1.5 ) at Saints David slays Goliath
Davey has been radicalized
Sunday Dinner Time Buccaneers at Seahawks (-3) Bucs sink Seahawks
Titans at Cardinals (-9.5) Phoenix grabs the Mythical Creature Bowl
Lions (-8.5 ) at Bengals Jungle kings dominate the battle of the big cats
They’ll both rip your lungs out once they grow up
Commanders at Chargers (-2.5) Bolts shutdown Washington
Sunday Prowl Time Patriots at Bills (-8.5) The whiteout uniforms whitewash the Patriots
Polar bear in a snowstorm on Hoth
Monday Prowl Time Chiefs (-3) at Jaguars Indigenous peoples skin the spotted cats
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport! The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat! Welcome to Football Cat’s Wide World of Sports Weekend! In Asia there are the World Athletics Championship finishing up in Tokyo. In the Land Down Under we have an all feline Grand Final in the Australian Football League as the Geelong Cats (a personal favorite) take on the defending champion Melbourne Lions. In Brazil there’s the Grand Chess Tour Finals kicking off (a Blitz isn’t only in football kids). And who could possibly forget about everyone’s favorite jingoistic biennial golf tournament, that the Ryder Cup (any relation to Greg?) is taking place at Bethpage Black (any relation to Shirley Temple Black?) Even the Red Sox are prepping for the playoffs (PLAYOFFS?!?!) But Faith and Begorrah the most important international sporting event of the weekend will be taking place in the Emerald Isle, when the Steelers “host” the Vikings in the first ever regular season NFL game to ever be played on the auld sod. Why the Steelers you may ask? What a stupid question boy-o! Why I ought to bop you on the head with me shillelagh! The Steelers were the obvious choice because of their deep Irish roots. Steeler’s patriarch Art Rooney’s great-grandparents emigrated from Ireland way back in 1840 during the Great Famine. That means current Steeler’s owner Dan Rooney only has to go back four generations to reach his potato roots. Wow a 4th generation Irish American! There are only about 32 other million of those, and half are in Southie. So remember no matter how many times you drop “Sláinte” or “Éire go Brách”, your blood will never be as green as the Sainted Rooney family. Top o’ the mornin’ to YOU, ya’ spud!
The local Mick community couldn’t be more excited
And congratulations to Warren Dull’s Aunt on being the only human to ever defeat Football Cat
Choke on that Fluff lady
Sunday Potato Pancake Time Vikings (-2.5) vs Steelers Stillers hand the Vikings their worst defeat in Ireland since the Battle of Clontarf in 1014
Brian Boru invented sudden death centuries before Bert Bell
Sunday Lunch Time Commanders (-1.5) at Falcons Penix stiffens up and balls out.
Saints at Bills (-15.5) Even Saint Jude is backing the Bills in this one.
The Popes!
Browns at Lions (-9.5) Jungle Kings smear the Browns
Titans at Texans (-7.5) FUN FACT: This game showcases the only two teams in the NFL whose nicknames end in “ans”! Tex top Tit
Did someone say “Texas tit top”?
Panthers at Patriots (-5.5) Black cats get caught looking ahead to October.
Chargers (-6.5) at Giants Jaxon Dart? More like Jaxon Sharts the bed!
Eagles (-3.5) at Buccaneers American birds soar in this battle of the unbeatens
Sunday Dinner Time Colts at Rams (-3.5) Hairy sheep hand Indianapolis Jones his first loss
Jaguars at 49ers (-3.5) Mac tames the Spotted Cats
My good friend Mac and I can’t stop owning
Ravens (-2.5) at Chiefs Scary Black birds murder Mahomes
Bears (-1.5) at Raiders It is officially fall, and the Autumn Wind is a Raider… Vegas baby!
Packers (-6.5) at Cowboys Meat men grind up Cow boys
Eeek!
Monday Early Prowl Time Jets at Dolphins (-2.5) Jets take the toilet bowl
Monday Prowl Time Bengals at Broncos (-7.5) Stripey Cats succumb to hypoxia
I hope this is nitrous
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket or Big Y! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Vikings Steelers
Commanders Falcons
Saints Bills
Browns Lions
Titans Texans
Panthers Patriots
Chargers Giants
Eagles Buccaneers
Colts Rams
Jaguars 49ers
Ravens Chiefs
Bears Raiders
Packers Cowboys
Jets Dolphins
Bengals Broncos (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our squadron of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Simply pick who you think will win this week’s remaining games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack! (Pictured Below)
…or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket or Big Y! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this week’s NFL matchups:
Falcons Panthers
Packers Browns
Texans Jaguars
Bengals Vikings
Steelers Patriots
Rams Eagles
Jets Bucs
Colts Titans
Raiders Commanders
Broncos Chargers
Saints Seahawks
Cowboys Bears
Cardinals 49ers
Chiefs Giants
Lions Ravens (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our gritty squadron of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Every September 19th all of Patriots Nation gather together with their family and friends to celebrate the legacy of their one time wunderkind General Manager Upton Bell. Back in February of 1971, Billy Sullivan hired the snot nosed 33 year old Bell to be his GM. The most memorable moment of Upton’s brief reign of terror was when he forgot to mail out contracts to all the team’s impending free agents, thus instantly granting them their freedom. The Upton Bell era came to an abrupt end in December 5, 1972 when he was unceremoniously fired after amassing a putrid 9 – 19 record. Sure that is a bad record, but really damning fact is that Upton was so incompetent that he never worked in the NFL again. Imagine how awful his reputation within the league must have been to never get another front office job. This was the son of former NFL Commissioner and Eagles owner/founder Bert Bell, and after being fired at the age of 35 his career in the league was over.
Today the 88 year old social media maven has morphed into a modern day Baron Hieronymus Karl Friedrich Freiherr von Münchhausen. The list of famous (all dead) people Upton has met includes Burt Reynolds, Jane Russell, Hedy Lamar, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Grace Kelly, Stephen Hawking, Patricia Neal, Jack Nicholson, Richard Nixon, Anthony Hopkins, Angie Dickerson, Arnold Palmer, Alan Shepard, Ted Turner, Seiji Ozawa, Donna Reed, Hedy Lamarr, Carely Simon, Yo Yo Ma and three (THREE!) Tuskegee Airmen. The list goes on and on. We didn’t even bother with listing the sports figures he claims to have known/discovered, but rest assured if they’re dead Upton claims he interacted with them.
And if Upton didn’t meet them, rest assured his mother did. Per Upton, his mom, Broadway “star” Frances Upton, had close encounters with Charles Lindbergh, James Cagney, Florenz Ziegfeld, George Gershwin, George Burns, Willie Mays, Babe Ruth, Lefty Gomez and Al Capone. According to Upton, when Bert Bell, his father, dropped dead Universal Pictures wanted to make a movie about him with Danny Thomas as the lead, but Frances turned it down (of course she did!). The aforementioned Bert Bell invented the NFL Draft, coined the phrase “On Any Given Sunday”, brought the entire Eagles team with him on his honeymoon, proposed local TV blackouts, and in 1958 came up with the idea of sudden death overtime – which is ironic because he dropped dead less than one year later while attending a football game.
Happy Upton Bell Day!
So celebrate today the Upton way by forgetting to send out important legal documents on time, or by getting you rugs cleaned or by lying on social media about all the famous dead people you’ve interacted with. Happy 9-19 to all who celebrate!
Sunday Lunch Time Falcons (-5.5) at Panthers Black cats get slapped by Penix
Packers (-7.5) at Browns Packko over Flacco
In 1935 Bert Bell invents the NFL draft. In 1948 Bert Bell invents prank calling potential draft picks.
Texans at Jaguars (-2) Texicats hog tie spotted cats
Bengals at Vikings (-3) Norsemen beat Burrow-less Bungles
Steelers (-1.5) at Patriots Pat Patriot makes Rodgers see red
November 14, 1972 press conference with owner Billy Sullivan (right), interim head coach Phil Bengtson (center), lame duck GM Upton Bell (left). Disgraceful body language
Rams at Eagles (-3.5) Philly rams LA
Jets at Buccaneers (-6.5) Tampa takes the Todd Bowles Revenge Bowl
Colts (-4.5) at Titans Tits whip Indianapolis Jones
Frances Upton in her only feature film role as Angie in ‘Night Work’ (1930). Francis loved to tell Upton about all the times she lost out on an acting job because she would not submit to the casting couch. Proving that lying is inherited.
Raiders at Commanders (-3.5) The Raiders keep racking up frequent flyer miles but not wins
Sunday Dinner Time Broncos at Chargers (-3) Bolts best Broncos
Saints at Seahawks (-7.5) Saints remain winless in Seattle
Upton saw Wilt Chamberlain play high school basketball and new he’d be a super star
Cowboys (-1) at Bears Da Bears drop Da Boys
Cardinals at 49ers (-2.5) Prospectors use the Pretty Red Birds as their canaries in the gold mine.
Sunday Prowl Time Chiefs (-6) at Giants Chiefs cut the Giants down to size
9 wins as Patriots GM work out to 1 win for every tooth
Monday Prowl Time Lions at Ravens (-4.5) Scary black birds tame the big cats
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can anyone of YOU beat Football Cat? The answer is a resounding “NO”. Despite what a nameless (brainless?) intern announced earlier this week. None of you (NONE OF YOU!) picked more winners in Week 1 than our beloved Football Cat. The faux “winner” picked 11 winners, mildly impressive for a human being. However, Football Cat picked 12 winners! TWELVE. This isn’t even advanced math like differential equations or, even worse, percentages (*gasp*). You don’t need to be a lonely pathetic ex-con finance manager working weekends selling unnecessary gap insurance to naive customers at your local car dealership to understand that 12 is greater than 11.
Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time
Unfortunately we here at Football Cat World Headquarters have been forced to petition the courts for a temporary injunction against the distribution of the official The15 joke prize pack to Mr. Warren Dull’s aunt. We request Miss/Ms./Mrs. Dull, or her representatives, direct all inquiries to @SteveBosell15. We look forward to eventually awarding the official The15 joke prize pack to an actual winner… which will be never, because YOU can’t beat Football Cat! You just can’t, but you’re welcome to keep trying.
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Look at the studio filled with glamorous merchandise
Good day and good luck!
Sunday Lunch Time Jaguars at Bengals (-3.5) Stripes over spots
Spots and stripes? That’s definitely advanced fashion
Giants at Cowboys (-5.5) Pokes pop Pituitaries
Bears at Lions (-6.5) Lions turn on their former handler
Welcome back Ben Johnson
Rams (-5.5) at Titans Horny sheep squash Tits
Patriots at Dolphins (-1.5) Pats flounder against Phins
49ers (-2.5) at Saints My good friend Mac is going to own in New Orleans
Mac and I will direct our laughter towards North Carolina (ha ha ha!)
Bills (-6.5) at Jets Buffalo gets on the same page and orchestrate their attacks to perfection! The only thing McDermott is upset about is that this game wasn’t played on Thursday.
Teamwork makes the dream work
Seahawks at Steelers (-2.5) Rodgers keeps rolling
Browns at Ravens (-11.5) Black birds soar over Browns
Sunday Dinner Time Broncos (-1.5) at Colts Danny Dimes drops Denver
Panthers at Cardinals (-6.5) Pretty Red Birds bludgeon Black Cats
That bird is jacked
Eagles at Chiefs (-1.5) American Birds prove that their Super Bowl domination of those poor Native Americans was no fluke.
Sunday Prowl Time Falcons at Vikings (-3.5) Norsemen swallow up Penix
A hot dog is all the censors would allow us to use
Monday Prowl Time Buccaneers at Texans (-2.5) Texicans trounce Tampa
Monday Sleepy Time Chargers (-3.5) at Raiders Plugs short circuit the strip
Stick to gambling kids, it’s safer
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Football Cat is tired from watching the Patriotic Birds play the Pokes.
Your long wait is finally over, and so is your Summah, football season is upon us! And this season is no ordinary season… this season YOU (yes, YOU!) get the opportunity to go head to head with our very own Feline Football Forecaster, the one, the only Football Cat!
One of our interns (I haven’t taken time to learn their names yet) outlined the rules in an earlier post.
The Cliff Notes version: If you can pick more winners than Football Cat you will be eligible to win a fabulous The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack! Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of tonight’s game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants! It’s that easy. All you have to lose is your self respect.
Which leaves us with the question… Can YOU beat Football Cat?
Actual prize may vary
Sexta à Noite Prowl Time Chiefs (-3) vs Chargers “I play the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil ‘Cause everybody plays the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil ‘Cause it’s all we’ve ever wanted, and it’s all that you want still Don’t you wanna play the beautiful game out in Brazil?”
Plugs shock Chiefs in the Southern Hemisphere’s Winter Classic
Pelé knew which game was the real o jogo bonito
Sunday Lunch Time Buccaneers (-2) at Falcons An opening week NFC South six pointer! Why wasn’t this on Sunday Night Football? Bucs win and all but clinch the division
Bengals (-6) at Browns Stripey cats leave the Browns strewn across their litter box
Actually Cleveland is a really nice place… for me to poop on!
Dolphins at Colts (-1.5) Ponies pop Porps
Panthers at Jaguars (-3) Cat fight! Spotted cats send black cats home with two black eyes
Woof
Raiders at Patriots (-2.5) Botox Brady’s team comes up short in the shadow of Tom’s tiny headed statue
Cardinals (-6.5) at Saints Cardinals win the Holy War
Say two Hail Marys and one Act of Cat-trition (*uproarious laughter*)
Steelers (-3) at Jets Men of Steel dominate in Metropolis
Krypto, Krytpo, Krypto! Why no love for Streaky the Supercat?
Giants at Commanders (-6) I’m calling the president. Mr. President, we need the National Guard. We need as many men as you can spare because the Commanders are killing the Giants. Wait… what? They’re already here? Never mind.
My old Platoon Sergeant said the Guard was for pussies
Sunday Dinner Time Titans at Broncos (-7.5) Tits sag in the thin air
49ers (-2.5) at Seahawks Fake Sea Birds rub Purrrdy the wrong way
Lions at Packers (-2.5) Jungle Kings devour Meat Men
It’s just a flesh wound
Texans at Rams (-2.5) Horny sheep give Houston problems
Sunday Prowl Time Ravens at Bills (-1.5) Scary Black birds spook Hairy Cows
Monday Prowl Time Vikings at Bears (-1.5) Norsemen skin grizzlies
It’s not a rug it’s a weave
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Simply pick who you think will win this week’s games. (Friday, Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack!
A BURNER ACCOUNT Tee Shirt!
A Jar of Fluff
and a KENO snapback hat!
Wow
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this week’s NFL matchups:
Chiefs Chargers
Bucs Falcons
Bengals Browns
Dolphins Colts
Raiders Patriots
Cardinals Saints
Steelers Jets
Giants Commanders
Panthers Jaguars
Titans Broncos
49ers Seahawks
Lions Packers
Texans Rams
Ravens Bills
Vikings Bears Tiebreaker – total points
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Patriots coach Mike Vrabel on his young very aggressive young players who play very very hard. “ Hey we need you’d for 17.”
I feel like we didn’t need to know the escaped lizard’s name.
Shoutout to the Braintree American team. Braintree has always had nasty baseball at the youth level. Great to see them on the doorstep of Williamsport.
Georges Niang; we hardly knew ye.
I like the concept of wearing a tee shirt from a different beach to the beach.
Beantown is Sweep-town!
There’s nothing more white trash than being the “I know crime!” guy.
Cakes are cooking for Peter Bonerz, Dorian Harewood, Catherine Hicks, Vinnie Vincent, Pat MacDonald, Stepfanie Kramer, Randy DeBarge, Dale Ellis, Michelle Yeoh, Kimberley Conrad, David Robinson, Mike Greenberg, Mike Budenholzer, M. Night Shyamalan, Geri Horner, Vera Ann Farmiga, Soleil Moon Frye, and Leslie Odom Jr.
Tossing dildos on the WNBA court turned into yelling “get in the hole!” in record time.
Hey gang of rollicking reprobates, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Yeah let me get one milquetoast please.”
Garrett Crochet looks like he cooks meth for the Aryan Brotherhood.
Frances Upton was a Ziegfeld Follies Star who signed a 2-picture deal in Hollywood. She came back to the Stage and continued her career.
I thought the didgeridoo was a soulless killing animal.
Abraham Toro has great teeth.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Imagine Mike Felger being one of your heroes?
Disgusted in the crowd during Becky-Lyra. Spending hundreds of dollars to do the wave in the middle of the match is shit. It was distracting and took away from the match. Unfortunate.
If you can’t afford a roof, just say you can’t afford a roof.
I was going to see The Fantastic Four until I saw how little money it made in its second week.
All the best jobs have Tuesdays off.
Put the stupid fires out Canada or we will start sending tariffs AND acid rain your way again!
Cesar is survived by his dominoes set and cobalt blue Honda Civic.
I study nuclear science I love my classes I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses Things are going great, and they’re only getting better I’m doing all right, getting good grades The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades
I’ve got a job waiting for my graduation Fifty thou a year — buys a lot of beer Things are going great, and they’re only getting better I’m doing all right, getting good grades The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.
News Item: All-Women Broadcast Scores Record Low Ratings, Increase in Presence of Wild Bears.
Thanks to Cesar Osiris for using an alias!
A bidding war for the Connecticut Sun? The WNBA Connecticut Sun?
You can tell how much you owned someone by how much they talk about you after you died.
I don’t know Ma, maybe the phone handsets don’t work because you never put them back on the charger?
Joe Murray just said he puts ketchup on French toast bagel sandwiches? Ew.
Osiris was the god of fertility, agriculture, the afterlife, the dead, resurrection, life, and vegetation in ancient Egyptian religion. And of bad beats, probably.
Honk if you remember Carl Lewis winning four gold medals.
Maybe the Revs should re-sign Gil’s brother while they’re at it?
Applebees owns riblets. The Bell family allegedly owns ‘any given Sunday.’ Advantage: Applebees.
For those updating Patriots rosters at home, please note that CB Tre Avery will wear No. 26, RB JaMycal Hasty has been assigned No. 39, and DT Bryce Ganious gets No. 72.
Hand up, I thought the Sox were gonna lose eight in a row and get right back out of this thing.
Was the Giants-Giants get together in Totowa?
Joon Lee should knock it off, he’s working Chad’s side of Yawkey Way!
Proportional response? Nah.
Best bet for the weekend: pleasant memories shared of our fallen pal, gone but not forgotten.
This statue only looks a little like Tom Brady!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the14 were used in this column. Hug your collaborative a little tightah.
and happy birthday to model/actress Adrianne Curry, winner of the first cycle of America’s Next Top Model.
Are we sure Kornet’s gone? Shams might just be using the Celtics for clicks.
During the NBA Draft my dog ran and hid under the bed when Adam Silver came out.
I believe the AP Hockey Stylebook would prefer “Hagsy” to be James Hagen’s Bruins nickname.
Is the L in Luka Garza’s name silent, like the H in Hugo Gonzalez’s?
Jahmai Webster should tell Bradfo his secret to keeping shirts wrinkle-free.
What is going on at the Wimbledon Women’s draw?!
Welcome to Boston Alex Steeves, Tanner Jeannot, Sean Kuraly, and Michael Eyssimon.
Keep on that grind, JT. The fan base and the city are behind you 100%. Before you know it you’re gonna be dominating the league again. There’s still so much more left to be written in your Celtics story.
Did the Bruins make a good first round draft pick simply because their internet cut out and they were on autodraft?
Cakes are cooking for Imelda Marcos, Robert Ito, Polly Holliday, Richard Petty, John H. Sununu, Larry David, Saul Rubinek, Roy Bittan, Johnny Colla, Brandel Chamblee, Jose Canseco, Mark Tewksbury, Monie Love, Jared Palmer, Troy Brown, Éric Dazé, Owain Yeoman, Joe Thornton, Michelle Branch, Johnny Weir, Ashley Tisdale, Lindsay Lohan, Alex Morgan, Margot Robbie, and Saweetie.
Are we ever going to hear the results of the Lifshatz referee investigations?
Green Line B Branch Update: Regular service has resumed. This delay has cleared.
Hugo Gonzalez? The many Spanish Celtics fans I know will be thrilled.
Kudos to you for finding out the identity of the guy who uses his real name on Twitter.
I hoped Marchand came back to the Bruins so they can trade him at the deadline again for another #1 pick.
I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic when I say the 2-6 show on WEEI is the actual worst regular show either station has ever trotted out. Which is saying something.
Feel like I should be having a Maine Beer Co. brew right now out of respect to Cooper Flagg.
At random events for work I tell people that Andy Wong is my uncle.
Hey gang of stick-tappers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “You just have to let the draft come to you.”
2025 NBA Draft had no shortage of cryers.
Whichever Market Basket executive pledges to once again start selling their hot dog rolls in packs of 8 instead of 6 has my vote to replace Artie T.
Yesterday at this time it was 94° with a real feel of 104°. In my part of RI that is NOT normal. Today it’s 65° and cloudy with a slight breeze. 30 degrees of difference in 24 hours is nuts.
Lying about being a women’s basketball insider is deranged.
Wander Franco got 2-year suspended sentence for raping a 14-year-old? Was Jerry Thornton the judge?
I miss when Rod Thorn used to do the second round of the draft.
Overrate the Kowloon some more.
News Item: Phil Pressey has been named the new Head Coach of the Maine Celtics.
Don’t feel bad for Damian Lillard. This is a win-win. Dame had a player option for next summer that he was considering not exercising. No secret living away from family in Milwaukee was a challenge. So he gets his $ and is now an unrestricted free agent free to go where HE wants.
Hey Sydney Sweeney, fair warning, Tom Brady has to be an awful fuck. You know he can’t just enjoy it; he’s got to execute in all three phases.
Bobby Bonilla Day BWAHAHAHAHAHA! AMIRITE?
You know you’ve been in this draft watching game a long time when the player your team drafts looks like your son’s best friend.
Roberto Alomar gave Shaughnessy’s niece AIDS. Well, that’s how I heard it.
Honk if you remember when Pete Abe tweeted out a screen shot of some random Instagram girl’s ass and then pretended like he got hacked.
You can tell Bill and Ryen are serious basketball analysts by how often they refer to players as “assets.”
Was going thru my whiskey bottles to grab one for vacation and couldn’t believe how much i have in the house. Haven’t touched it since December. Wowowo allowing my gray matter neurons to heal.
A nice screened in porch is the perfect summer amenity.
Marner, if he ends up with Boston, will change spelling of last name to MAH-nuh. Just to assimilate.
I like my bands in business suits, I watch them on TV I’m working out most every day and watching what I eat They tell me that it’s good for me, but I don’t even care I know that it’s crazy I know that it’s nowhere But there is no denying that
It’s hip to be square It’s hip to be square It’s hip to be square So hip to be square.
Yeah, the guy who got fired from the two-hour Saturday morning show is tapped into the Celtics’ front office.
A: Chico, Burrito, and Shaman.
In New England culture sometimes all carbonated soft drinks are referred to as tonic.
Bruins should take a look at Brynov Tsaevarski.
If BYU If doesn’t want their student-athletes having sex they should just have them all get married.
“One may know how to draft without knowing how to do it” – Sun Tzu Dupont
Did Jordon Hudson outbid Pablo Torre for a pair of heels on eBay? WTF.
Get well soon, Red Panda.
Best bet for the weekend: the busiest Fourth of July ever for travel.
Hearing reports traffic is backed up from the Cape bridges to the gas tanks.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. HBD USA.
And happy birthday to supermodel, actress and Texas gal Jerry Hall, who appeared in the 1992 film, ‘Freejack.’
The 15 