Can anyone of YOU beat Football Cat? The answer is a resounding “NO”. Despite what a nameless (brainless?) intern announced earlier this week. None of you (NONE OF YOU!) picked more winners in Week 1 than our beloved Football Cat. The faux “winner” picked 11 winners, mildly impressive for a human being. However, Football Cat picked 12 winners! TWELVE. This isn’t even advanced math like differential equations or, even worse, percentages (*gasp*). You don’t need to be a lonely pathetic ex-con finance manager working weekends selling unnecessary gap insurance to naive customers at your local car dealership to understand that 12 is greater than 11.
Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time
Unfortunately we here at Football Cat World Headquarters have been forced to petition the courts for a temporary injunction against the distribution of the official The15 joke prize pack to Mr. Warren Dull’s aunt. We request Miss/Ms./Mrs. Dull, or her representatives, direct all inquiries to @SteveBosell15. We look forward to eventually awarding the official The15 joke prize pack to an actual winner… which will be never, because YOU can’t beat Football Cat! You just can’t, but you’re welcome to keep trying.
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Look at the studio filled with glamorous merchandise
Good day and good luck!
Sunday Lunch Time Jaguars at Bengals (-3.5) Stripes over spots
Spots and stripes? That’s definitely advanced fashion
Giants at Cowboys (-5.5) Pokes pop Pituitaries
Bears at Lions (-6.5) Lions turn on their former handler
Welcome back Ben Johnson
Rams (-5.5) at Titans Horny sheep squash Tits
Patriots at Dolphins (-1.5) Pats flounder against Phins
49ers (-2.5) at Saints My good friend Mac is going to own in New Orleans
Mac and I will direct our laughter towards North Carolina (ha ha ha!)
Bills (-6.5) at Jets Buffalo gets on the same page and orchestrate their attacks to perfection! The only thing McDermott is upset about is that this game wasn’t played on Thursday.
Teamwork makes the dream work
Seahawks at Steelers (-2.5) Rodgers keeps rolling
Browns at Ravens (-11.5) Black birds soar over Browns
Sunday Dinner Time Broncos (-1.5) at Colts Danny Dimes drops Denver
Panthers at Cardinals (-6.5) Pretty Red Birds bludgeon Black Cats
That bird is jacked
Eagles at Chiefs (-1.5) American Birds prove that their Super Bowl domination of those poor Native Americans was no fluke.
Sunday Prowl Time Falcons at Vikings (-3.5) Norsemen swallow up Penix
A hot dog is all the censors would allow us to use
Monday Prowl Time Buccaneers at Texans (-2.5) Texicans trounce Tampa
Monday Sleepy Time Chargers (-3.5) at Raiders Plugs short circuit the strip
Stick to gambling kids, it’s safer
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Football Cat is tired from watching the Patriotic Birds play the Pokes.
Your long wait is finally over, and so is your Summah, football season is upon us! And this season is no ordinary season… this season YOU (yes, YOU!) get the opportunity to go head to head with our very own Feline Football Forecaster, the one, the only Football Cat!
One of our interns (I haven’t taken time to learn their names yet) outlined the rules in an earlier post.
The Cliff Notes version: If you can pick more winners than Football Cat you will be eligible to win a fabulous The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack! Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of tonight’s game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants! It’s that easy. All you have to lose is your self respect.
Which leaves us with the question… Can YOU beat Football Cat?
Actual prize may vary
Sexta à Noite Prowl Time Chiefs (-3) vs Chargers “I play the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil ‘Cause everybody plays the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil ‘Cause it’s all we’ve ever wanted, and it’s all that you want still Don’t you wanna play the beautiful game out in Brazil?”
Plugs shock Chiefs in the Southern Hemisphere’s Winter Classic
Pelé knew which game was the real o jogo bonito
Sunday Lunch Time Buccaneers (-2) at Falcons An opening week NFC South six pointer! Why wasn’t this on Sunday Night Football? Bucs win and all but clinch the division
Bengals (-6) at Browns Stripey cats leave the Browns strewn across their litter box
Actually Cleveland is a really nice place… for me to poop on!
Dolphins at Colts (-1.5) Ponies pop Porps
Panthers at Jaguars (-3) Cat fight! Spotted cats send black cats home with two black eyes
Woof
Raiders at Patriots (-2.5) Botox Brady’s team comes up short in the shadow of Tom’s tiny headed statue
Cardinals (-6.5) at Saints Cardinals win the Holy War
Say two Hail Marys and one Act of Cat-trition (*uproarious laughter*)
Steelers (-3) at Jets Men of Steel dominate in Metropolis
Krypto, Krytpo, Krypto! Why no love for Streaky the Supercat?
Giants at Commanders (-6) I’m calling the president. Mr. President, we need the National Guard. We need as many men as you can spare because the Commanders are killing the Giants. Wait… what? They’re already here? Never mind.
My old Platoon Sergeant said the Guard was for pussies
Sunday Dinner Time Titans at Broncos (-7.5) Tits sag in the thin air
49ers (-2.5) at Seahawks Fake Sea Birds rub Purrrdy the wrong way
Lions at Packers (-2.5) Jungle Kings devour Meat Men
It’s just a flesh wound
Texans at Rams (-2.5) Horny sheep give Houston problems
Sunday Prowl Time Ravens at Bills (-1.5) Scary Black birds spook Hairy Cows
Monday Prowl Time Vikings at Bears (-1.5) Norsemen skin grizzlies
It’s not a rug it’s a weave
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Simply pick who you think will win this week’s games. (Friday, Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack!
A BURNER ACCOUNT Tee Shirt!
A Jar of Fluff
and a KENO snapback hat!
Wow
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this week’s NFL matchups:
Chiefs Chargers
Bucs Falcons
Bengals Browns
Dolphins Colts
Raiders Patriots
Cardinals Saints
Steelers Jets
Giants Commanders
Panthers Jaguars
Titans Broncos
49ers Seahawks
Lions Packers
Texans Rams
Ravens Bills
Vikings Bears Tiebreaker – total points
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Fake real Snoopy or real fake Snoopy? Here’s how to tell.
Bill really should have done better with picks 29 thru 32 in the first round of the draft, caller.
I hope the young Red Sox players took note of Lowe’s textbook feet first slide into second on his double in the 7th.
Going to Philly for Kobe’s birthday is the ultimate “look at me” move.
Giving everyone a variation of the job title Dummy was a mistake on our part. The flow chart is very confusing.
Tim Hill of the New York Yankees has horse thief physiognomy.
John Dennis also gave himself over to a higher power in a Cracker Barrel parking lot.
Todd Choi just took to the official Fictional Friction account to dispel rumors he has retired from the band. It amazes me on a daily basis how much fake made up clickbait is out there every hour. And how many people believe it without considering the source and circulate it.
Not charging a error because the guy doesn’t touch the baseball is the dumbest logic on the planet.
Cakes are cooking for Chip Douglas, Tuesday Weld, G. W. Bailey, Barbara Bach, Charles Fleischer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Alex Lifeson, Peter Stormare, Derek Warwick, Robert Richardson, Bernhard Langer, Tom Ford, Downtown Julie Brown, Cesar Millan, Chandra Wilson, Jim Thome, Tony Kanal, Chris Imes, Mike Smith, Jonny Moseley, Mase, Sarah Chalke, Aaron Paul, Sarah Neufeld, Patrick J. Adams, and Breanna Stewart.
Why do dads NEVER sneeze at an appropriate volume?
The Miz deserves all his flowers, btw. Always entertaining. Solid matches. Main event. Mid card. Comedy. Ambassador. He’s valuable. #SmackDown
So Felger doesn’t talk to Jim Murray off the air? Stick tap to Mike for that.
Worcester Line Train 510 (5:45 am from Worcester) will terminate at Framingham today. Passengers will be accommodated by the next inbound train to depart Framingham Train 1512 (6:35 am from Framingham) will make all local stops.
The Moreno family in Saniago says hi.
Masataka Yoshida means ‘slow dribbler’ in Japanese.
Hey gang of yoked weirdos, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Yeah, go power wash the trees, I don’t give a fuck, just leave us alone.”
Someone told Fred Toucher that black is slimming and he just fucking ran with it.
A kid tangentially related to the Anaheim Ducks died of brain cancer. Shukri will be his biggest mourner once he finds out who this guy was.
physiognomy is just a phenomenal descriptor.
Whenever I see service dogs, they seem way happier than I would be if I were in their paws. If I were a dog I’d want to be lazy all day, the last thing I’d want to do is work. But I reckon they’re thrilled because it means they’re always included.
Has anyone in in history said, “man those lip fillers are hot”?
Red Sox will open the 2026 schedule in Cincinnati against the Reds March 26..
Vancouver – St Louis might have been the most fixed MLS game ever.
Kinda love Rajon Rondo forgoing his destiny of being an NBA coach to play flag football.
Love Love will keep us together Think of me, babe whenever Some sweet-talking girl comes along Singing his song Don’t mess around You just got to be strong
Just stop ‘Cause I really love you Stop, I’ll be thinking of you Look in my heart And let love keep us together
I’m going to make this crystal clear for everyone in case it isn’t already: I cover Inter Miami. I am not a fan of Inter Miami. I report impartially on what the team does — whether it’s good, bad or in between. I’m not here to cheerlead, sugarcoat or do Inter Miami PR.
Honk if you remember Samuel Gompers.
If you get annoyed at the gym every day that’s on you at some point.
God don’t like ugly.
Am I supposed to know who the father/son guys are in the Gillette Labs razor commercial?
I love the in-game interviews with the ESL infielders.
Gotta feel for Shedeur & Shilo. Second generation professional athletes never can catch a break!
I’ll be honest, Mazz tweeting with replies turned off is a great troll job.
Neemias Queta. Owning.
It’s the 58th anniversary of Tartabull’s Throw. Good Red Sox fans know what that means.
Best bet for the weekend: college football being officially back with Week 1 action.
We love BdlG but those sunglasses are wearing *her*.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The summer’s out of reach.
And a happy birthday to American actress Alexa PenaVega.
Haven’t the Jimmy Fund kids been through enough, why make them get interviewed by Dave O’Brien?
Steve Pagliuca is a class act who understood what it meant to represent our fandom as an owner on the NBA stage. I was disappointed he didn’t have the winning bid but this statement exudes the class he showed through his tenure as part owner. Thank you Pags!
ESPN shitting on the grave of Bert Bell will keep Upton Bell alive two more decades.
Say ‘there’s magic the the greens!’ a few more times TC.
Spending that beautiful Saturday inside because the Pats played at 1 is reminding me of all the awesome fall Sunday I’ll be inside all day because the Pats play at 1.
The coach’s challenges add to the quaint ambiance of the Little League World Series.
Watched the first episode of Hard Knocks with the Bills last night. Dion Dawkins spinning around in a race car with his young kids in the passenger seat is fucking insane. I need Felger to comment and get cancelled.
Apparently the Celtics marketing folks are trying to stay under the luxury tax as well.
Cakes are cooking for Don King, Dave Brock, Rich Brooks, Graig Nettles, Connie Chung, John Noble, Robert Plant, John Hiatt, Al Roker, Quinn Buckner, Joan Allen, Cindy Nicholas, Mark Langston, Duffy Waldorf, Jr., KRS-One, Andy Benes, Fred Durst, Ke Huy Kwan, Todd Helton, Misha Collins, Chris Drury, Andrew Garfield, Alex Newell, and Demi Lovato.
One thing Joe Burrow is going to do is stick with a drive mentally no matter what car wash he’s going through to get to the end zone and still score.
What’s the big deal here? Jesus is King.
Hey gang this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “As a mom of a boy, I need Donna Kelce to write a book on how to raise sons. INSTANT buy.”
The Cleveland Guardians are going to overtake the Red Sox despite selling at the trade deadline and having their relief ace intentionally lose.
Red Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to a passenger requiring medical assistance at Harvard.
‘The Wheels on the Bus’ might be the most misogynistic song ever. All the women repeatedly tell their children “shhh” all through the town while the men adoringly say “I love you” to the kids instead. Truly a sad and misguided take on women’s relationships with their young boys and girls.
Ricardo Quaresma looks like he’s running for mayor of Swansea.
Back at the mirror, your good friend Talkin’ to the mirror to play out your game Stop in the middle, I stop then Look at the winner and the price you pay Mmm
Cold was the winter, I tremble Long was the fall that had no end Now little by little, the air clears Little by little, I can breathe, I can breathe again
I can breathe again I can breathe again now Call your name, call your name Call your name, call your name Everything changes, everything changes I call your name.
Paul Pierce said there was an “intense moment” between Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins during a team meeting during the 2008-09 season.
A pitta me, carpe diem, de facto, it goes on and on like that, eck cetera.
OK new cellphone, maybe you have a point not liking the dollar store car charger. My bad.
The 2019 movie The Vault was pretty good, but the soundtrack was exemplary.
Lou Damn Merloni talking over and explaining cancer to a (checks notes) Oncology Specialist isn’t triggering at all.
I would go to a Big Head Todd and the Monsters show any day of the week.
The McCourty Twins as commentators for the Pats preseason is like getting one for the price of two! Because they sound the same.
Honk if you remember swimmer Janet Evans.
Do you tip at full-service gas stations?
Red Sox third base coach Kyle Hudson was probably thinking about how Braintree got eliminated from the LLWS when he held the runner.
Get well soon Sophie Cunningham.
I’m sure Upton will be happy when ESPN resolves the situation by issuing a 2 A.M. apology. Once.
When did they take Monument Park out of Williamsport?
A compelling case could be made for a polar bear effectively taking on an adult male elephant.
Best bet for the weekend: Coast Guard Search & Rescue missions.
Hug your surfers a little tighter.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. She says your voice cannot command.
And happy birthday to American actress Amy Adams. Alliteration!
You stick your lip out like that a bird might land on it. An Eagle, perhaps.
I’m told losing in the Super Bowl does irreparable damage to one’s legacy.
The arc of the moral universe is long, but bends toward justice for that awful Bundlerooski ad.
Congratulations to Boston University for a convincing Beanpot win.
Philly fans booed Santa Claus, Taylor. You’re in good company.
Holy shit. Don’t let the miserable cvnts suck the joy outta what you just watched. That was amazing.
How did Andy Reid find a shirt that is too big for him?
Who the hell directed that Tubi ad, David Cronenberg? My friend PlutoTV would never.
Love how fundamentally sound Knueppal and Flagg are.
I went to an Al Skinner camp when I was like 10 and he said I played like Henry Bibby.
Meg Ryan, you still got it, kid.
You know who would’ve loved watching that Super Bowl? Len Bias. Miss him everyday.
Cakes are cooking for Judy Blume, Maud Adams, Michael Ironside, Gil Moore, Michael McDonald, Joanna Kerns, Chet Lemon, Arsenio Hall, Brent Jones, Ed Lover, Michel Petit, Chynna Phillips, Josh Brolin, Darren Aronofsky, Lincoln Kennedy, Tara Strong, Cliff Bleszinski, Anna Benson, Christina Ricci, Gucci Mane, Juan Carlos Ferrero, Robert Griffin III,
Coop DeJean has great hands. Smart player. Like a coach out there. Just knows where to be. Underrated athlete.
My bank’s fraud protection department flagged my subscription renewal to MassLive, which doesn’t help my contention it is a real thing that actually exists.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Whoa, I think that’s “Big Dom!”
Is Mike Powell’s long jump world record effectively unbreakable now? Not that it couldn’t be broken, but the event no longer seems to be attracting the best athletes.
Hey gang who only skimmed the onboarding packet, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “She’s eating vanilla cake like it’s her job.”
A Karen Read interview after the Super Bowl? Looks like Mahomes won’t be the only one shitting himself on Fox.
JD Davison is Michael Jordan of the G League.
Orange Line Reminder: Beginning at 8:30 PM Friday, February 14, through the end of service Monday, February 17 (Presidents’ Day). Shuttle Buses replace service between North Station and Oak Grove due to MassDOT bridge work.
Bruins should be sellers. But will probably be stand-patters.
Do Super Bowl touchdowns count for your stats if your opponent’s coach has already been doused in Gatorade?
Andy Reid looks like a laundry bag full of walnuts.
Red Sox Mgr. Alex Cora positive about this Red Sox team, “It’s a good team. A solid team. We should be OK!”
Dan Lifshatz is about two things: lying about his gambling exploits, being a fat piece of shit, and respecting women. Wait, that’s three things.
No three-peat also means Pat Riley loses out on a windfall.
I hope Philly fan appreciates winning a Super Bowl without first having the NFL change the scoring rules mid-game.
Biscuit joinery!
Does Mr. Dondero only tweet during free period? Or does he also do it while he’s patrolling the cafeteria?
Something’s at the edge of your mind You don’t know what it is. Something you were hoping to find But you’re not sure what it is. Then you hear the music And it all comes crystal clear. The music does the talking Says the things you want to hear.
I’m young, I’m wild and I’m free. Got the magic power of the music in me. I’m young, I’m wild and I’m free. Got the magic power of the music in me.
My lace curtain Irish grandmother always said I’d make a good potato farmer.
“Shaboozey” needs to be stopped.
Gold Glove winners in baseball can be divided into three categories: “really outstanding fielder”, “won it on reputation”, and “somebody has to get it.” I notice that the AL hasn’t really had a legit Gold Glove first baseman win the award since Teixeira in 2012.
I think at least two of the women in that Nike commercial are Josina Anderson.
Gonna be two Super Bowl blowout losses for Mahomes and Reid. Never happened to Brady and Belichick, Tone.
Honk if you remember an arbitrator declaring Carlton Fisk to be a free agent.
Rachid Meziane, you’ve got your work cut out for you.
Yeah, I don’t think Roc Nation is interested in putting on a country music Super Bowl halftime show. Sorrey!
Glen Powell is a smoke.
The New England Revolution concluded their training camp with a friendly match against USL Championship side Tampa Bay Rowdies, taking a 1-0 victory at IMG Academy in Bradenton, FL.
Jalen Hurts sure loves to be photographed being left alone.
A 38-point 10 rebound night from freshman Liam McNeeley? Just think how good he’s gonna be his senior year!
There’s definitely some buzz about the 2025 Red Sox. No, that’s just tinnitus.
Upton Bell is too modest to mention it, but Bert Bell founded the Philadelphia Eagles NFL Franchise. Bert Bell was Upton’s father.
Best bet for the weekend: no vaccine or treatment available for 4 Nations Face Off fever.
What could have been.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. We do the walk. We do the walk of life.
As we close the books on yet another record setting campaign of profitable professional pigskin prognostications, we here at Football Cat World Headquarters would like to reflect back on all the wonderful things that happened over the course of the season. Who can forget when that crazy thing happened to that guy on that team way back in September? And then that other thing came out of nowhere and caught everybody off guard. People are still talking about how we will never see something like that ever happen again! And don’t get me started on that wild and crazy thing that made headlines for days on end. The airwaves are still sizzling from all the hot takes. So many memorable moments, there a just too many to mention. What an unforgettable season!
And finally, a big shout out to the intern for always keeping the drinking water cool, his lap warm, the snack drawer full and the litter box empty. Imagine doing all that work for no pay and no college credit? We wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.
(Intern’s Note: What? )
To play us out, we turn the clock all the way back to 1966 when “The Happenings” were happening… See you in September See you when the summer’s through Bye-bye, so long, farewell Bye-bye, so long
Vaya con dios muchachos!
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Chiefs (-1.5) at Eagles It started at the very first Thanksgiving, when William Brewster’s wife’s green bean casserole gave Hobbamock a severe case of gastroenteritis. And it’s been all downhill since then, from the Manhattan land deal, to small pox, to the Indian Removal Act of 1830, then the Battle of Wounded Knee and the Trail of Tears, all the way to the Indian Gaming Regulatory Act of 1988, and the cultural appropriation by Iron Eyes Cody, Chief Jay Strongbow and that guy in the Village People. For over 400 years, the American Birds have been continuously getting the better of the Indigenous Peoples. The subjugation will continue in New Orleans.
He’s not crying because the Chiefs are going to lose, he’s crying because he found out that he’s an Italian
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
News item: Some new executive orders have just been signed…
“Saturday” will be renamed to “Caturday”.
Catnip will be allowed to flow across the Southern border.
All online betting advisors will be required to publicly display their success rate or something else (*wink wink*).
Amnesty for the accused in the “Shedd Park Incident of July 4 1992”.
Laser pointers will be outlawed.
Designated nap times throughout the day, with comfortable sleeping spots readily available in all public spaces.
All deadbeat squatters will be evicted from the homes of their deceased mother’s former boyfriend. Their cats will be allowed to stay.
Dogs will be banned from most public areas, with designated “dog parks” far away from cat territory.
Anyone using “Y’all” will be banned from all social media platforms, even the Chinese ones.
Humans must be readily available for head scratches and belly rubs whenever a cat desires.
Only Union workers will be allowed on the roads between 4 am and 6 am.
The records from the Loyko investigation must be immediately released.
SUNDAY EARLY DINNER TIME Commanders at Eagles (-6) American Birds haven’t been this surprised by a Commie offensive in January since 1968
On that day our platoon sergeant sacrificed himself so we could all make it home alive. RIP Sgt.Thornton.
SUNDAY EARLY PROWL TIME Bills at Chiefs (-1) As has played out on the great plains for hundreds of years, the Native Americans, once again, take down the Tonawanda Tatanka
The buffalo seemed more stunned by the audacity of the tactic than they are surprised the wolves are actually dudes
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Congratulations to the Ohio State Football team for being the first six seed to ever win the National Championship Tournament.
Kirk riling up the useless Patriots beat writers into frantic activity is hilarious.
If Ted Johnson thought he had CTE before, just wait!
It’s Washington D.C. vs. Philadelphia in a battle of cities in which I don’t want to stop at red lights. And for NFC supremacy!
It’s funny because there was a television show also called Drake and Josh. No, wait, That’s actually not funny.
You’ve got the football acumen of Andy Hart, Ted Johnson’s sense of humor, and Fitzy’s encyclopedic knowledge of Beantown! What can go wrong?
Lifshatz had the Ainge deal days ago, bro.
Worst Irish ass kicking since the Easter Rising back in 1916.
Cakes are cooking for George Siefert, Steve Perry, Teddy Gentry, Karen Moe, John Wesley Shipp, Steve Riley, Linda Blair, Jeff Treadway, Stojko Vrankovic, DJ Jazzy Jeff, Diane Lane, Steven Adler, Ecaterina Szabo, Guy Fieri, Olivia d’Abo, Alex Ross, Bucky Brooks, Balthazar Getty, Chone Figgins, Ben Moody, Willa Ford, Jason Peters, Ben Eager, Leon Powe, Greg Oden, and Caitlin Clark.
The Bruins gutted out and won that MLK Day matinee to honor Willie O’Ree.
Ryan Day looks like Arby’s in human form.
If Jeff Howe gets one more fake malady he’ll turn into a white broad, forced to scroll WebMD for all eternity.
Herbstreit crying in the booth is embarrassing.
Hey gang of WX’ers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, ‘Cold enough for ya? Hey; at least it’s not snowing!”
Al Qaeda is funnier and has less turnover than EEI afternoons.
What can I say about Tom McVie that those that knew who he was, and what he did haven’t already said? RIP.
Kirk Gibson cleared it and landed at the far end of the lumber yard across the street.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Can you OD on antidepressants?
The Celtics struggling against bad teams but then beating a good (if depleted) Golden State squad doesn’t concern me because there probably won’t be many bad teams making the playoffs.
‘Puka Nacua is the closest thing to Jesus Christ I will ever see in my lifetime.’ -Middsy Middleton
E-L-G-S-E-S!!
Why am I being told I cannot attend Medical School in Canada?
Time is quickly running out for teams with vacancies to pounce on proven commodity Jerod Mayo.
The only thing Mark Daniels has ever broken is poor Bill Bendetson’s heart.
“I don’t love all the Josh McDaniels screens” should be met with a Lacey Underall, “I was really getting tired of having fun all the time.”
Skeleton Crew wasn’t Andor or early Mandolorian (and it wasn’t trying to be), but it was easily some of the best Star Wars content we’ve gotten in a very long time.
I want to start a GoFundMe for Mike Lombardi to get a proper haircut.
Bring Romeo Crennel out of retirement for DC! If he’s still alive.
‘Executive Vice President of Football Business’ always sounded like Jonathan made the title up on the spot.
Albert Breer has more arrests than he has broken stories.
Live, baby live Now that the day is over I got a new sensation Mmm, perfect moments But so impossible to refuse
Sleep, baby, sleep Now that the night is over And the sun comes like a god Into our room All perfect light and promises
Got a hold on you A new sensation (a new sensation) Right now It’s gonna take you over A new sensation (a new sensation)
Puns used to be the lowest from of humor, until the advent of the ‘same name!’ gag.
MegO went from Jonesy castoff to Celtics insider. She knows things.
‘Brady vs. Belichick: The Verdict.’ That sounds like a sensible use of my finite time on Earth.
Select 2025 Red Sox single game tickets are on sale this week!
Ryan Day looks like what you’d get if Lou Merloni and Dakota from Braintree had a kid.
Congratulations to John Karalis for announcing that he is transitioning in this current environment. Stunning and brave.
Ben Johnson has dull, lifeless eyes, like a doll’s eyes.
BBWAA ballot reveals and my eyes roll back so far they landed 565 feet away.
Honk if you remember R. Budd Dwyer.
Baseball without Bob Uecker is kind of like a birthday cake with no frosting.
Vrable is the new Bellycheck.
Jeff Darlington misusing a program intended for low-income families pays $2.10.
All of Kendra Middleton’s rebuttals to people disagreeing with her are just calling them unfuckable pussies. Way to raise the bar for women, Steinem.
Best bet for the weekend: the former NFL official on the broadcast team agrees with the on-field call.
‘So long Robyn. We’ll always have the memories. And this new mural.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Rag Mama rag, I can’t believe its true. Rag Mama rag, what did you do? I crawled up to the railroad track. Let the 4: 19 scratch my back.
And Happy Birthday to Brazilian supermodel Raica Oliveria.
Breaking news from the Football Cat Storm Center, it’s going to be bitter cold at this weekend’s games. How cold you ask? Well, let’s go to a special report from Nimbus, the official cat of the Mount Washington Weather Observatory, for a live report…
NIMBUS: “You want a prediction about the weather? I’ll give you a winter prediction. It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life.”
Yes, Nimbus does like red onions. Why do you ask?
Thanks Nimbus for that in depth forecast. It sounds like you might want to spend some of your future gambling winnings on a Seasonal Affective Disorder light therapy lamp. We hear they do wonders for your mental health.
The official anti-SADs clock/lamp combo thingy of the Boston Herald’s Red Sox part-time beat writer. (If you look closely you can see her reflection “accidentally” caught in the photo of the clock/lamp thingy.)
SATURDAY DINNER TIME Texans at Chiefs (-8.5) Indoor Tex-cats can’t survive in the Chiefs’ winter encampment
It’s not called a WigWarm for nothing folks!
SATURDAY PROWL TIME Commanders at Lions (-9) These indoor cats know where it’s at! The Jungle Kings crunch Commie caps in climate controlled comfort.
Take that you commie rat!
SUNDAY EARLY DINNER TIME Rams at Eagles (-6) Fiery hot Rams blow torch frozen American Birds
When the Linc is overrun with ugly dumb cvnt Rams fans, don’t blame this guy.
SUNDAY EARLY PROWL TIME Ravens at Bills (-1) Scary Black Birds get snowed under by Hairy Cows
They should have flown South for the winter when they had the chance.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The 15 