Tag Archives: Boston Sports Media

2025 March Sadness – The Hateable Eight Preview

Welcome to The Hateable Eight. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. YOU must be vote cautiously.

More scum than villainy to be honest

Region C Final

2 Ted Johnson vs 5 Andy Hart

A freakish mismatch that Mary Shelley would love. Frankenstein’s monster meets CTE-gor. Both are so inconsequential that WEEI isn’t even bothering to put either of their names on “The Afternoon Show”. Dumbo Hart has been polishing up on his polls, but he can’t beat this Johnson.

It’s alive, but their ratings are dead

Region V Final

1 Chris Gasper vs 3 Albert Breer

If you squint really hard this is a classic “Nerd” vs “Jock” showdown. Gasper thinks he’s smart because he owns a thesaurus and Bertie thinks he’s an All-American he-man because he beat an indecent exposure charge at THE Brohio State. Kid Gas knows how to pretend to be smart by using a big words when he writes, but it’s awfully strange how his vocabulary becomes very monosyllabic when not in print. And the dying print media is Gasper’s level. He quickly failed at his attempt of being a sports anchor on WCVB, and NESN recently pulled the plug on his little watched Boston Globe streaming TV venture.

When he’s not living vicariously through intercollegiate athletes at his beloved alma mater Albert Redenbacher Breer is busy battling Piping Plovers on the dunes of Duxbury. He also claims to be an NFL Insider, even though has no sources, he never ventures off his couch and has yet to break a single story. He’s great at confirming things, and telling you what he thinks, but much like his Austrian Großvater he knows nothing… NOTHING!.

All his families Nazi gold won’t be able help Albert buy a spot in the Final Four.

I see nothing, I hear nothing, and I say NOTHING!!!

Region N Final

1 Gabrielle Starr vs 2 Michael Felger

The big question heading into this match up is will either candidate NOT be on vacation today? When she’s not away on an all expenses paid trip, Gabby lays claim to the title of “Red Sox reporter” for the Herald, but everyone knows that the day-to-day beat work really belongs to Mac Cerullo. The “Gabby Starr Reporter” thing is really a vanity project, funded by her father. Which is a step up from her “Girl at the Game” blog which was a just a grift for trips and game tickets funded by her simp followers. I’m actually crying just thinking about it!

Felger somehow continues to be the dominant presence in the Boston Sports Mediot landscape, polluting the airwaves on 98.5 and NBC Sports Boston. He’s working two jobs just to avoid running into Gene Lavanchy at home.

Felger’s paint by numbers contrarian act won’t be enough to eclipse Gab’s shining star.

Out on the town again having the time of my life with a bunch of friends. They’re all just out of frame, laughing too!

Region T Final

3 Cerrone Battel Ackerman vs 4 Tony Massarotti

The last time Mazz came across a couple of guys like Mr. Battel Ackerman he ended up suspended for a week. Ironically, Mazz’s overt racism resulted in Battel getting the chance to sell his soul for a few weekend/holiday slots. Now Battel can cosplay as a Boston mediot, all while living comfortably down in North Carolina thanks to his bread-winning wife. There’s no way “a guy like that” is going to steal the Regional Title from Mazz. Cerrone can’t hear us right?

The images shown are for illustration purposes only and may not be an exact representation of the product

Patrick is from Andover del Norte.

03/26/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Diggs now has 69 million reasons to play hard for Coach Vrabes.

Why not just make the entire city out of sports arenas?

I have referred Domantas Sabonis to Tom Homan for immediate deportation.

Need an entry to sports, other than just turning the game on? Try Katie Nolan’s newest short-lived show.

Jalen Rose was dressed like he’s the captain of a cruise liner.

On the one hand, it’s not MY money, but on the other, Diggs is on the wrong side of 30 and coming off an ACL injury.

Scal looks like he has the opposite of whatever Mookie is suffering from.

Chisholm buys the Celtics. Chisholm, MN was home to Archibald “Moonlight” Graham. You mean Doc Graham.

You sound like someone who has no streaming friends.

It’s sad to hear George Foreman died, but I’m glad it wasn’t George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, or George Foreman. No father should have to bury a son.

Cakes are cooking for Bob Woodward, Diana Ross, Steven Tyler, Fran Sheehan, Vicki Lawrence, Alan Silvestri, Martin Short, Tony Papenfuss, Leeza Gibbons, Chris Hansen, Marcus Allen, John Stockton, Kevin Seitzer, Ulf Samuelsson, Michael Imperioli, Kenny Chesney, Leslie Mann, Larry Page, Irina Spîrlea, Anaïs Mitchell, Keira Knightly, Jessica McClure, Von Miller, Paige VanZant, and Danielle Bregoli.

Ben Simmons is Australian. He has trouble when playing in the northern hemisphere.

Goats are low-key everywhere.

Overly wide pelvis is the “short arms/small hands” of the WNBA scouting report.

Hey gang of true insiders! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “He’s way too leveraged. Go ask around about the deal.”

Josina Anderson tweets like a four-star general who’s been kicked in the head by a horse.

The NFL Competiton Committee now has released its proposed rule and bylaw changes, including expanding instant replay to cover “objective aspects of a play and/or to address game administration issues when clear and obvious video evidence is present.”

Cooper Flagg is going to Philly because I can’t have nice things.

Mattapan Trolley: Shuttle buses replace service from 11:30 PM to the end of service on March 26 – 27 for trackwork.

Sabonis accidentally injures a lot of people.

FYI If you like Beetlejuice, Walmart has a ton of Beetlejuice apparel on sale.

If Tyrese Proctor were a doctor he would be Doctor Proctor. And what’s more, if he was an ass doctor, he’d be a proctorologist! No applause necessary.

And it’s a free for all in the parking lot
Tell me who will rule the street
And the night explodes
When the cops bring down the heat

And the chains they crash like thunder
While the weak ones all retreat
Gotta draw first blood
Or they’ll read your funeral rights

When the lightning strikes

Have more arcane requests at the deli counter. 2/5 a pound of turkey? Get the actual fuck out of here.

There’s only room for one Pastor Pedo Defender in this town.

Honk if you remember Diego Segui.

I am begging the Red Sox to give Campbell a better # before opening day. He just isn’t a #28

Is anyone else triggered by sports figures referring to the “DNA” of a team, describing attributes that don’t have ANY similarity to DNA?

People wouldn’t be giving Coach Hurley all this guff if he were Italian.

Playboy 92 Harris Rd anytime you want that smoke.

Thanks to Celtics City i learned Dave Cowens was Shaughnessy and Ryan’s hero and basically a fucking flake. Manny with a motor and fewer dead grandmothers.

You have to leave Boston to visit Flavortown now.

If you’re asking Jim Murray for literally anything you absolutely need to kill yourself. There’s no other option.

Inviting the wrong person into a group chat? Who would do that?

Best bet for the weekend: the return of baseball (and hope) to the region.

Fred Lynn Swann? Zesty!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this columnCool the engines. Cool the engines down.

And happy birthday to actress Jennifer Grey, who may have had some work done.
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