Category Archives: Uncategorized

‘Who is Jake in Boston?’ A Follow Up

We have learned more about Jake Duhaime, BKA* ‘Jake in Boston’ since our original investigation back in the fall of 2021.

He has a yen for travel. Did he learn the long-forgotten fable of the Goat and the Owl from a secluded tribe in the Amazon rain forest? Perhaps from a Bedoiun lemon merchant? Or from an Albanian lobsterman? We may never get a satisfactory answer. Alas:

A Soupey, with the ruinous Scott Zolak.
A Tampa Bay Buccaneers game.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

(Jake must have paid for the billboard with his 2nd half of 2020 souvenirs and snacks travel budget for a never-taken trip due to the pandemic. Money well spent.)

The World Cup
Three humps
A manly beverage
Another Soupey
Jake is comfortable dressing down…
…or dressing up.

He’s equally at ease on the TD Garden parquet…

He’s a hooper

…as he is on the Garden ice.

Single runner skates in an upset.
He definitely likes the ladies. Like Taylor Swift…
And ‘Barbie.’

But there are times where Jake prefers the company of men.

But here we arrive at the piece de resistance:**

That is Jake in Boston.

And so are these:

(67.7% probably, repeating of course.)

Thank you to all who assisted in this.

*- Better Known As

** – French for ‘large false shrub’

SPECIAL GUEST SUBMISSION

(Editor’s Note: This article was initially sent to us in error, its intended recipient apparently being Mike Reiss. After contacting the author, he graciously assented to it being published here, provided it not be edited for content. Please enjoy.)

DEAR MYKE

SORRY FOR DELAY I COULD NOT FIGYA OUT MY GMALE PASSWURD. IT WAS TOONA. ANYWAYS AS I PREDICTID BRADY LEFT AND BELLYCHECK CANT WIN THE BIG ONE EVEN WITH ZAPPY. DONT EVEN GET ME STAHTED ON MAK. HES ADMITTEDLY VERY HANSUM BUT HIS AHM IS SOFTA THAN MY RICHAHD AFTA A PEPSI BURP FROM MY BELOVID DOROTHY. RIP. I DID NOT SEE YOU AT THE (CAMERON LOL) WAKE BUT AS YOU PROBABLY HERD SHE HAD SAHS-COV-2 FORTEEN TIMES AND EVENCHUALY SUKUMMED. WEAH NOT ANTI-VAX THEY JUST COODNT FIND A VAIN IN HER AHM.

WHAT ELSE IS IN THE NEWS? FORMA PRESIDENT DON TRUMP HAS BEEN UP TO NO GOOD LOL. WHATS UP WITH THAT GUY? HES SOMETHIN ELSE. LARRY KING DIED HUH?

BACK TO THE PATS. IF THEY DONT AT LEEST WIN A TITAL THIS YEAH THEN BILL HAS TO GO. HEYA ARE MY CONTENDAS TO REPLACE BILL:

  1. VRABES – THSI IS OBVIUS. THREWOUT HIS CARERR AS A PLAY AND COCH HES WON MULTIPLE SUPA BOLS. THATS WHAT THIS TEAM NEEDS. SOMEWON WITH EXPERIENCE WINNING (PRONOWNCED LIKE FOREST GUMP LOL).
  1. PAHCELLS – IF STILL ALIVE HE WOULD BE PURFECT. IF YOU TAKE AWAY HIS FURST AND THURD SEEZINS WITH THE PATS HE WAS 21 AND 11 AND A MASTA COMMUNICATA REMEMBA WHEN HE CALLED THE MENTALLY FRAGILE AND CLINICLY DEPRESSED LATE TERRY GELNN “SHE.” THAT WAS THE BEST. “SHE” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. ALTHOW WE PAHT WAYS WHEN IT COMES TO SHOPIN FOR GROSSERIES. NOW THAT MY LATE BITSH WIFE IS DIRT NAPPIN I GOTTA GOT TO DEMOOLASES FAH ALL OWA VICSHUALS AND I ALWAYS BUMP INTA SOMEONE I KNOW AND THEN I GOTTA CHIT CHAT ABOWT HOWS WANE WELL NOT GRATE ON ACCOUNT OF JANYOUARY SEVENTH HE WENT BY HIMSELF AND WAS APPREHNDED WITH GREAT EEZE.
  1. THE GUY FROM THE RAMS.
  2. GORDON RAMSEY – A LITTLE OUTSIDE THE BOX BUT HE WOULD BE LIKE “MAC YOU CALL THAT A SPIDA 2 Y BANANA YOAH A UNDACOOKED CO CO VON AND DELECTABLE PASS ZAPPE” PLAYAS NEED DISIPLINE NOWDAYS AND THAT IS NOT RASHUL AT ALL.
  3. OKLAHOMA OFFENSIVE COORDINATA JEFF LEBBY

ANYWAY MY BATTERY IS RUNNIN OUT BUT LETS TALK SOON. MY FONE NUMBA IS 617-529-1375.

Poor Wayne.

Wayne’s Fatha is a die-hard Boston sports fan and irrepressible commentator to message boards and comment threads. He lives in the Merrimack Valley. He is Wayne’s Father.

Happy Upton Bell Day

Upton Bell came very close to General Managing the New England Patriots to ten wins over two years, Mike.

Upton is Bert Bell’s son. Bert Bell was once the Commisioner of the NFL. Bert Bell was Upton’s father.

Upton Bell claims credit for more discoveries, innovations, and interactions with famous people than even Eddie Andelman!

Upton was General Manager of the New England Patriots. In 1971 he forgot to send option letters to the Patriots players, effectively making the entire team free agents.

The Patriots record during Upton’s tenure as GM was 9-19.

Upton Bell can do anything he puts his mind to, Kevin.

Everyone who could refute any of Upton’s Commander McBragg/Baron Munchausen/Forrest Gump stories is conveniently dead.

Upton is so old he understands all the outdated pop culture references in the previous sentence.

Upton Bell believes nepotism has no place in the modern NFL, Mike.

On Twitter, Upton likes to reply, and replies to likes!

Upton Bell was There At the Beginning. Of the AFL, not the United States.

Upton will turn 100 in 2037.

Upton wishes you a Happy Him Day.

Welcome Back Students!

Welcome back to all the college and university students! And a particular welcome to our new crop of student interns here at The15, both in the Greater Boston area and elsewhere:

Emily O. Anderson – ’25 University of Massachusetts – Boston

George H. Babip – ‘ 24 Boston University

Matthew F. X. Breuer – ’24 Emerson College

Evie Dzodocz – ’25 Liberty University

Sheherizade Fedayan – ’24 Emerson College

Madison Emily Gardiner – ’24 Framingham State University

Joshua Kaliszewski – ’23 Bunker Hill Community College

Lisa A. Pudlo – ’24 University of Massachusetts – Lowell

Beatriz Emily Santos – ’26 Northeastern University

Aoife Emma Sgringoli – ’24 Boston University

Michael Skellig Jr. – ’25 Northeastern University

Japheth Snell – ’24 Bob Jones University

Bohdan Tafka – ’23 Connecticut School of Broadcasting

Lawrence L. Trullbrooke – ’25 Boston College

Kyle Verdoux – ’23 Community College of Rhode Island

We hope to learn as much from you, as you do from us. Remember: Knowledge Is Good.

(Appearance of actual interns may vary.)

Fan Or Fraud? The Shukri Wrights Story

If you’re a fan of Boston sports, there’s a very high likelihood that you’ve seen a certain “superfan” pop up more and more in local media coverage and even some of the teams’ own social media content. Who is he? Where did he come from all of a sudden? Well, let’s meet him…

Vernon Dozier is a multi-sport beat writer for #The15. His previous work can be found at Deadspin and Goy At The Game among other publications. He is a lifelong resident of Rockport, MA and he is never leaving.

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