Category Archives: 98.5 The Sports Hub

2023 March Sadness Matchup Preview Part One

By old friend ‘Patrick from Andover del Norte’:

All over New England you can sense it. That unmistakable stench in the air. We are all experiencing it, from the hard workers slaving away at your local Dunkin’, to the ex-con working the warranty desk at the nearby car dealership. There’s only one thing on people’s minds at this time of year… the BIG SADS. And what better way to turn that frown upside-down than The15’s annual Biggest Mediot Tournament (b.k.a March Sadness)!

Remember, the results of this tournament rests (almost) entirely on YOU, the voting public. It’s a dirty job to have to sift through the local sports media cesspool and separate the dingleberries from the true pieces of shit, so let’s don those hazmat suits and wade into this year’s participants.

This is the most top heavy tournament field in recent memory. The number one seed in each region appears to be a lock to make it to the Fraudulent Four. Mike Felger and Ben Volin once again each head up a region, T and N respectively. Felger continues to dominate the New England radio and TV landscape the same way Gene Lavanchy dominates him in his personal life. Volin had an extremely strong year, being banned from both the local airwaves and the Patriots press box. Topping the V region is last year’s runner-up Chris Gasper. Kid Gas is hoping to finally go from bridesmaid to bride this year. Chris has been busy the past few weeks acting as a human shield, defending the C region’s top seed Tony Massarotti. Mazz comes into the tournament hot off a one-week unpaid suspension for extemporaneously making an insensitive joke – but please remember that deep down in his heart Mazz loves all people; he’s a just a surface level racist.

As rancid as those big four are don’t worry, there is plenty of fresh meat to liven up this year’s match-ups. Among the first timers is the Herald’s new Red Sox beat reporter Gabrielle “my friends call me Gabby” Starr. Gabby is currently covering Red Sox spring training from her living room in Boston – just like you! Another newcomer is the middle -initialed Michael F. Hurley, unfortunately he has his work cut out for him in Round 1 against the fully middle named Kevin Paul Dupont.

After going to great expense to re-enforce the floorboards we are proud to announce that the second half of the Bankrupt Boyz, Joe Murray is included in the field of 64 this year. If you’re ever worried about confusing Joe and Jim Murray, just remember that Joe doesn’t hide his bald head under a scally cap.

Voting begins on Thursday, which is good because it means there’s still time to study the match-ups and research the players. There’s a couple of names in there that frankly sound made up. Like John Zannis. Sound it out… John’s Anus. I guess ‘Mike Hunt’ was ineligible. You can’t fool me, selection committee, you scamps! Keep an eye out for Bracket by Bracket breakdowns of all the first round match-ups. We may not have them, but if you don’t keep an eye out you’ll never know what you’re missing!

Patrick is from Andover del Norte

2023 March Sadness Tournament Field of 64

Others receiving votes: DJ Bean, Sam Berger, Vernon Dozier, Chris Forsberg, Ken Laird, Sean McAdam, Chris Mannix, Jon Wallach, Shukri Wrights.

Here’s the Schedule for the first round of matchups, 10 on Thursday March 9th, ten more on Friday March 10th, and the last 12 will resume on Monday, March 13th. (Why? Because there were demonstrably fewer votes tallied during the weekends in the 2022 Tournament.)

March Sadness Championship Match

This time, it’s personal.
Blah Blah Blah.

A scent reminiscent of…triumphalism?

We are here, the main event. Greg A. Bedard versus Chris Gasper. They know one another. You know them. But they do not know you, because, in all likelihood you are muted or blocked. Payback time. The poll will remain open for the remainder of today until 1:30 PM EDT on Tuesday, April 5th. Thank you all so much for your keen interest in the return of March Sadness.

The Path to the Championship:

Rolling over his competitors with the legendary strength of a Recruited Walk-on.
Almost lost to Bean, squeaked by Shank, but Kid Gas is not to be trifled with.

March Sadness Results – The Four You Deplore Winners & Consolation Match

Don’t expect to see much of this picture over the next 72 hours. At all.
You tried, Large Gym and Little Ben.

The March Sadness Final Matchup is set. Almost A Coach Greg A. Bedard of (for now) the Boston Sports Journal versus Chris Gasper of the Boston Globe. Due to overwhelming interest, there will now be a consolation match between the runners-up. Noontime EDT today until noontime EDT tomorrow Sunday April 3rd. Championship Monday after that. Thank you for your interest in ridiculing mediots. cheers.

March Sadness – The Hateable Eight – Results

Murray – Bedard & Gasper – Volin will duke it out as the Four You Deplore Friday, April 1st, Championship TBD on Monday April 4th. Thank you to all the voters, readers, and assorted hangers-on.

We’re making a mockery of Lou’s trip to the Big Dance!
Monsterthrottled. You’re out, Tom.
A triumph of faux erudition over decades of laziness. Yay?
Have bigger screencap graphics! We can’t!

March Sadness – The Sorry Sixteen – Results

C Region
V Region
N Region
T Region

Lou Merloni defeats Mike Felger. Not a sentence that gets written often but applies here. Across the way, Squeaky Mazz loses to his show’s receptionist. Globies win out in the V Region, with Dan perhaps coasting on reputation. Kid Gas doubtless ebullient at his coup over Keefe. Bedard in a no-doubter over Kusnierek after a bloc of illegal votes were excluded, and the 7 seed Tom E. overtops the 6 seeded Marc B. T Region could stand for Ted, who wins handily, and Ben Volin was never in danger of losing to the once-menacing Bert Breer.

These Eight will face off Monday, March 28th.

(Stick tap to @cpaul512 for assisting with the graphics package.)

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