March Sadness Round One Day 3


Last ten of the opening round.
Polls will be open until 10 PM Eastern Daylight Saving Time. Round Two next week!


Last ten of the opening round.
Polls will be open until 10 PM Eastern Daylight Saving Time. Round Two next week!

If you went to bed early last night you missed a couple of white knucklers. Scott Zolak pulled out a dramatic last second win over Rich Keefe, and Rob Bradford got Guregian’d after a day-long rock fight with Karen. Remember to vote early and often, and to check back in regularly throughout the day to follow the dramatic proceedings.

Region C
8 Mark Dondero vs 9 Jared Carrabis
Mr. Dondero is going to get the entire Bellingham Jr. High lunchroom to stuff the ballot box.

7 Dan Shaugnessy vs 10 Meg Ottolini
This should have been the Battle of the Recovery Ward. Shank is back in the tournament after almost missing last year due to emergency quadruple-bypass surgery. Jeff Howe was exempt in 2024 with a severe case of what physicians now refer to as factitious disorder imposed on self (formerly known as Munchausen syndrome). But then Ottolini had to stick her upsetting feet into the mix and pull off the wild card win over Howe. Jeff may never recover. Meg O thinks she’s hilarious, has momentum and hammer toes – that’s proving to be a winning formula.
Region V
1 Chris Gasper vs 16 Dan Greenberg
Kid Gas facilely matriculates to the subsequent echelon.

3 Albert Breer vs 14 Chris Smith
Bert once again whips it out and gives Smith a golden shower.
7 Bob Ryan vs 10 Jackie MacMullen
Jurassic World: The Journalistic Trenches. Watch as Bob “T-Rex” Ryan takes down Jackie “Metriacanthosaurus” MacMullen in a battle that time forgot! The CGI budget for Mr. Ryan’s teeth alone must have broken the bank. Good thing we have been tipped off on how to make money just for charging our phones.

Region N
1 Gabby Starr vs 16 Joe Haggerty
Pretty tricky of the committee to pit Ms. Starr up against “Pork Chop” Joe right before Shabbat. Expect Gabby to persevere.

5 Nick “Fitzy” Stevens vs 12 Chris Forsberg
The Greek carpetbagger bags another victim.
2 Michael Felger vs 15 Phil Perry
Felger doesn’t under perform until the Final Four.
Region T
6 Taylor Kyles vs 11 Kendra Middleton
The DEI Derby! Were there no Boston bred slightly chubby 6’s that the Sports Hub could have hired? The Jacksonville Jackass will put a banana in Kyles tailpipe and pull off the minor upset.

2 Mike Reiss vs 15 Trenni Casey
MAJOR UPSET ALERT! Historically these seedings should be reversed, but Trenni has become somewhat irrelevant, while Reiss has taken a dramatic heel turn in the past year. Hopefully Mrs. Casey gives Myke Crease a personal apology once she’s done beating his ass.
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.


Now for the second batch:
Polls remain open until 10:30 PM EDT. Have some fun out there!


Here is Part 1 for your voting enjoyment, Part 2 will post in a couple hours.
Polls will remain open until 8:30 PM EDT, enjoy the mediot madness!

Region C
5 Andy Hart vs 12 Tom Carroll
UPSET ALERT! Tommy Freezepops will release his inner fat slob (who is destined to resurface at a moment’s notice) and squash mighty mite Dumbo Hart like the little cockroach he is.
3 Jim Murray vs 14 Evan Lazar
Lazar made a strong push over the weekend when he incorrectly reported that Myles Garrett had been given permission by the Browns to seek a trade, and then after his followers pointed out he was incorrect, he quickly – without admitting the error – pivoted to a slightly altered stance so he could still appear “right”. A complete weasel move by the Lizard. However Jim Murray is truly a odious human being with no redeeming qualities and will win this match up in a landslide.
6 Brian Scalabrine vs 11 Drew Carter
The Mike Gorman Memorial match-up, where you, yes YOU, get to determine who is to blame for the sharp drop in the quality of Celtics broadcasts! We’d tell you how Scal thinks this one is going to turn out, but given Scal’s horrific record at replay review predictions, you’d already know the result. (Pssst, Scal is confident that Drew pulls off the upset.)
Region V
8 Jerry Thornton vs 9 Doug Kyed
Last fall Jerry buried two of his brothers. Today he buries Kyed.
6 Jimmy Stewart vs 11 Matt McCarthy
McTeethy should be a nervous as cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Although most intelligent cats would rather be in a room full of rocking chairs than in a room with J-Stew.
Region N
4 Mike Giardi vs 13 Michael Holley
“It’s Girardi not Girardi, idiot.”
6 Nick Cattles vs 11 Mike Kadlick
Kadlick was last year’s Cinderella story, but this year it’s pumpkin head Cattles who gets to dance with Prince Charming.
Region T
1 Marc Bertrand vs 16 Joe Murray
Joe Murray seems seriously underrated as a 16 seed, but he has no chance in this battle of the behemoths. Bertrand swallows him whole.
4 Tony Massarotti vs 13 Matt Vautour
I’m not really familiar with Vautour’s work but I’m willing to believe it stinks. I’m all too familiar with Mazz’s work and I know it’s terrible.
3 Cerrone Battle Ackerman vs 14 Rob “Hardy” Poole
YOU didn’t think Ackerman should even be in this tournament! YOU thought the fact that he lives in podunk North Carolina and is completely out of touch with the Boston sports scene would be grounds for exclusion. Now YOU can’t wait to vote for him.
Patrick is from Andover del Norte.








Update – Polls stay open until 10 PM EDT. Enjoy Day One!

Let’s hear it for these local media ‘personalities’ who have been involved in this tournament since its inception. Some obvious names, and some unexpected ones. Might one of them finally take home the crown?
Pete Abraham
Christian Arcand
Marc Bertrand
Albert Breer
Trenni Casey
Kevin F. Paul Dupont
Michael Felger
Chad Finn
Christopher Gasper
Mike Giardi
Joe Haggerty
Andy Hart
Adam Jones
Rich Keefe
Tony Massarotti
Jim Murray
Bob Ryan
Dan Shaughnessy
Jerry Thornton
Fred Toucher
Scott Zolak


Here are several questions that the locals somehow forgot to ask Jerod Mayo since he became the 15th Head Coach of the New England Patriots in January:
When was your first conversation with Robert about becoming the head coach?
When was your first conversation with Robert about becoming the head coach for 2024?
Was there language in the contract you signed prior to the 2023 season that spelled out this plan to elevate you to head coach?
Were there financial implications tied to this language if that elevation did not occur? And by what date?
Was Bill aware of this language in your contract? Did you discuss it with him?
Did you discuss this with Robert at any point between the start of the 2023 season and the final game against the Jets? If so, did these conversations occur during regular business hours at the team facility?
Did Bill request that you leave the business world and start a career in coaching?
Do you believe that Bill would have liked to continue coaching here beyond 2023?
Do you believe conversations that go over the head of your direct superior to his boss about your boss’ future are conducive to a productive work environment?

A joint offering from The15 and The Collaborative Podcast Coalition.

**CONFIDENTIAL**
From: 98.5 The SportsHub Human Resources
To: All Employees
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
It’s time for our biannual reminder when a member of the SportsHub on-air staff allows their unconventional/non-traditional core beliefs to be spread over FCC-governed airwaves which is then picked up by national and international media (not including members of the Boston Media under the “BSIC Back Slapping Incestuous Cesspool Accord of 2007”). This protocol will NOT be enacted when media outside New England fails to pick up an potential issue similar to midday host Marc “Beetle” Bertrand recently suggesting Bill Belichick is an anti-Semite, but with multiple outlets outside our governance involved, in this instance we are forced to deploy “Massarotti Protocol”.
Steps:
1: Modify (The Lazar Method): Edit and/or delete audio from website archives.
2: Gaslight and Obfuscate (The GOrdway Method): Have the offending on-air personality read from the following template:
The Tony Massarotti Apology Template
(NOTE: Please attempt to show empathy and remorse vocally) *citation needed
I did want to address this, because during yesterday’s show, while we were discussing (sports/players/teams/games), I made an off-color reference to (insert differing race/color/creed/sexual preference from 985 hosts) and how I didn’t (believe in them/have confidence in them/thought they SUCKED). And in doing so, I used a derogatory term that was (unbeknownst/repugnant/acceptable) to me.
I have since come to the realization that historically, there is some derogatory context for that (term/phrasing/manifesto), which I assure you I did not (know my mic was on/think about/understand). Nonetheless, in so doing, if you are among those who I offended, I apologize for that. It was not my intent. (Be sure not to apologize for the act itself.) I can sure assure you that I had no idea that the word had that meaning. As such, I won’t use it again. You’ll never hear me use it again on the air or off (that you’ll ever hear about). There was no intent behind it is all I can tell you. And I apologize again to those who are offended.
There is no way, I will resign. It wouldn’t be fair. Not to the good workers I work with, not to my listeners, and especially not to me. Let’s not forget who this whole resigning business is about, anyway. If I could leave you with one thought, remember… it wasn’t me. They’re trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to God, that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word.
You have one day.

**TO BE RE-RELEASED IN SIX MONTHS**