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Category Archives: 2025

09/24/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on September 24, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

Oh, good the new 2004 Red Sox documentary has JFK and forced busing in it. I was scared they were going to leave those out.

Not sure if Coach Parcells should be purchasing green bananas when he goes to buy the groceries.

Jayson Tatum is now a spokesperson for Vertex Pharmaceuticals after using their new non-opioid pain drug, Journavx, following Achilles surgery. The FDA approved the drug earlier this year.

omfg it just dawned on me that we have a fantastic chance of getting a Lyss v Nai WNBA Finals, and if that wouldn’t be the best thing ever, I don’t even know what to say anymore.

Whenever there’s a Minihane live show, do the Minifans pick a Designated Survivor?

Red Sox are 5-2 now in minor league ballparks this season.

Jeff Hardy is aging in dog years.

Pats wore the throwback uniforms. Edelman rang the lighthouse bell; what more were they supposed to do?

Cakes are cooking for Joe Greene, Jerry Donahue, Gorgon Clapp, Emilio Castillo, Kristina Wayborn, Joseph P. Kennedy II, Hubie Brooks, Brad Bird, Kevin Sorbo, Allen Bestwick, Mike Phelan, Nia Vardalos, Rafael Palmeiro, Sean McNabb, Bernard Gilkey, Kevin Koslofski, Shawn Crahan, Megan Ward, Eddie George, Kyle Turley, Stephanie McMahon, Daniele Bennati, Drew Gooden, Ryan Briscoe, Paul Hamm, and Lisa Wang.

Alex Cora told the media Payton Tolle will pitch out of the bullpen for the remainder of the season.

2/3 of Irsay’s daughters… WOULD.

The homeless Athletics came into your house and beat YOU!

Fitchburg Line Diversion Reminder: Saturday, Sept. 27th & Sunday, Sept. 28th Red & Green Line subway service will replace regular Commuter Rail service between North Station and Porter. This allows for North Station Terminal Area Signal System Improvement work.

You HAVE to tag Jerry Thornton when you get a divorce. No way around it.

I have to wonder if Sal still would have created cancel culture all those years ago if he could have foreseen how it would eventually be used.

Bruins scoring goals in bunches, nice to see, even in preseason.

Tried to use AI to put together my fantasy football lineup for this weekend. Complete trash. Everyone’s jobs are safe.

‘I don’t want the bass loaded anymore?’ What an idiot Lou Meloni is. The term is ‘loaded diamond.’

Zolak’s pronunciation of “Steelers” isn’t triggering at all.

Hey mean and not for everyone gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “It’s nothing scandalous, it’s just some broad on the internet.”

Wyomissing translates from the Lenape to ‘brook full of trull.’

I hope years of forced bicoastal living won’t place undue strain on Attorney Jackson’s marriage.

Dallas Braden seems like if Pat McAfee was in the Lumineers.

What if I don’t like Millwall? What then?

It’s almost like sportswriting attracts a disproportionate number of talentless losers.

Kirk Minihane might be retarded.

You’ve got “toss the egg yolk” money in this economy? Must be nice.

Walked into a strange cafe
No one there’s ever heard my name
Go to the bar, have a seat
Talk to that woman sittin’ next to me

She ask me in a voice so low,
She ask me if I come in here alone.
She ask me nicely, “Can I buy you a drink?”
You know I think she likes me, that’s what I think,
I think she likes me, that’s what I think.

Can someone who has covered the NFL longer than I explain why all nine Patriots-Steelers games from 1981 to 1995 were in Pittsburgh? Was there no rhyme or reason to NFL scheduling? Just going off vibes?

Kay Adams debuting the ‘bait for a gang initiation beatdown’ look is certainly a bold decision.

Kenny Anderson: wash cloth user.

Honk if you remember NASCL’s Enemies List.

I bet if they try even harder the media can make one more person care about the Tom Brady “conflict of interest” storyline.

Vocal fry in a male is very off-putting.

Whenever Donald Trump comes after one of Bill Simmons’ friends he stops talking about Belichick. So who’s to say whether him forcing ABC to cancel Jimmy Kimmel is a bad thing or not.

Also, I really wanna go 100% on this but…I can’t cancel Disney+…I just can’t. Marvel has a hold on me. Disney/Pixar movies have a hold on me. Shit, Hulu does somewhat too. And now with WWE moving their PLE’s there? Ugh. I’m sorry. I’m still 99% with everyone though!

It’s good to be on the good side of the crazy coworker.

Ramondre knows he has to be better!

Rub some dirt on it, David Fry. Walk it off. You’re okay.

Can you imagine Kendra Middleton going to the Big E? Hahahahaha zoinks!!

Best bet for the weekend: New England improves to 2-2.

*Bruce Allen Jr, the indispensable founder of the Boston Sports Media Watch website. A good man, a kind man, a tall man. Taken from us too soon*. *He will be greatly missed.*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Walk, Don’t Run.

*And there’s some leftover cake in the break room from THE BUTCHIE’S birthday yesterday.*

“Where are my blue cupcakes!?”

Don, it’s RAH SHERSHONNAH, so a SHONER TOVER to you and yours. And just so you know, the only state I’ll recognize is RED SOX NATION!

Week 3 – Beat Football Cat!

Posted on September 19, 2025 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Simply pick who you think will win this week’s remaining games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack! (Pictured Below)

…or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket or Big Y! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this week’s NFL matchups:

Falcons Panthers

Packers Browns

Texans Jaguars

Bengals Vikings

Steelers Patriots

Rams Eagles

Jets Bucs

Colts Titans

Raiders Commanders

Broncos Chargers

Saints Seahawks

Cowboys Bears

Cardinals 49ers

Chiefs Giants

Lions Ravens (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our gritty squadron of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good day and good luck!

Football Cat’s Week 3 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on September 19, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Happy Upton Bell Day!

Every September 19th all of Patriots Nation gather together with their family and friends to celebrate the legacy of their one time wunderkind General Manager Upton Bell. Back in February of 1971, Billy Sullivan hired the snot nosed 33 year old Bell to be his GM. The most memorable moment of Upton’s brief reign of terror was when he forgot to mail out contracts to all the team’s impending free agents, thus instantly granting them their freedom. The Upton Bell era came to an abrupt end in December 5, 1972 when he was unceremoniously fired after amassing a putrid 9 – 19 record. Sure that is a bad record, but really damning fact is that Upton was so incompetent that he never worked in the NFL again. Imagine how awful his reputation within the league must have been to never get another front office job. This was the son of former NFL Commissioner and Eagles owner/founder Bert Bell, and after being fired at the age of 35 his career in the league was over.

Today the 88 year old social media maven has morphed into a modern day Baron Hieronymus Karl Friedrich Freiherr von Münchhausen. The list of famous (all dead) people Upton has met includes Burt Reynolds, Jane Russell, Hedy Lamar, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Grace Kelly, Stephen Hawking, Patricia Neal, Jack Nicholson, Richard Nixon, Anthony Hopkins, Angie Dickerson, Arnold Palmer, Alan Shepard, Ted Turner, Seiji Ozawa, Donna Reed, Hedy Lamarr, Carely Simon, Yo Yo Ma and three (THREE!) Tuskegee Airmen. The list goes on and on. We didn’t even bother with listing the sports figures he claims to have known/discovered, but rest assured if they’re dead Upton claims he interacted with them.

And if Upton didn’t meet them, rest assured his mother did. Per Upton, his mom, Broadway “star” Frances Upton, had close encounters with Charles Lindbergh, James Cagney, Florenz Ziegfeld, George Gershwin, George Burns, Willie Mays, Babe Ruth, Lefty Gomez and Al Capone. According to Upton, when Bert Bell, his father, dropped dead Universal Pictures wanted to make a movie about him with Danny Thomas as the lead, but Frances turned it down (of course she did!). The aforementioned Bert Bell invented the NFL Draft, coined the phrase “On Any Given Sunday”, brought the entire Eagles team with him on his honeymoon, proposed local TV blackouts, and in 1958 came up with the idea of sudden death overtime – which is ironic because he dropped dead less than one year later while attending a football game.

So celebrate today the Upton way by forgetting to send out important legal documents on time, or by getting you rugs cleaned or by lying on social media about all the famous dead people you’ve interacted with. Happy 9-19 to all who celebrate!

Sunday Lunch Time
Falcons (-5.5) at Panthers
Black cats get slapped by Penix

Packers (-7.5) at Browns
Packko over Flacco

In 1935 Bert Bell invents the NFL draft. In 1948 Bert Bell invents prank calling potential draft picks.

Texans at Jaguars (-2)
Texicats hog tie spotted cats

Bengals at Vikings (-3)
Norsemen beat Burrow-less Bungles

Steelers (-1.5) at Patriots
Pat Patriot makes Rodgers see red

November 14, 1972 press conference with owner Billy Sullivan (right), interim head coach Phil Bengtson (center), lame duck GM Upton Bell (left). Disgraceful body language

Rams at Eagles (-3.5)
Philly rams LA

Jets at Buccaneers (-6.5)
Tampa takes the Todd Bowles Revenge Bowl

Colts (-4.5) at Titans
Tits whip Indianapolis Jones

Frances Upton in her only feature film role as Angie in ‘Night Work’ (1930). Francis loved to tell Upton about all the times she lost out on an acting job because she would not submit to the casting couch. Proving that lying is inherited.

Raiders at Commanders (-3.5)
The Raiders keep racking up frequent flyer miles but not wins

Sunday Dinner Time
Broncos at Chargers (-3)
Bolts best Broncos

Saints at Seahawks (-7.5)
Saints remain winless in Seattle

Upton saw Wilt Chamberlain play high school basketball and new he’d be a super star

Cowboys (-1) at Bears
Da Bears drop Da Boys

Cardinals at 49ers (-2.5)
Prospectors use the Pretty Red Birds as their canaries in the gold mine.

Sunday Prowl Time
Chiefs (-6) at Giants
Chiefs cut the Giants down to size

9 wins as Patriots GM work out to 1 win for every tooth

Monday Prowl Time
Lions at Ravens (-4.5)
Scary black birds tame the big cats

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

09/17/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on September 17, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

*It always comes back to baseball, Danny. Robert Redford 1936-2025.*

First The Whammer, then Bump Bailey, and now Mr. Roy Hobbs? 2025 is clearing out the cast of The Natural.

I have as many FBS wins as Notre Dame this season and I’m not in the AP Top 25.

Well, to the good, in a couple of weeks Mike McDaniel will be able to use his Breitling watch to tell time.

So the show about the entertainment industry cleaned up at the Emmys? That never happens.

Tom Brady. A 24-year journey from from Mo Lewis to Mo Atta.

After Borregales missed 2 xp’s Patriots fans were ready to check him for disqualifying tattoos.

Too soon to call Carles Gil a coach killer?

Cakes are cooking for Phil Jackson, Fee Waybill, Cassandra Peterson, Rita Rudner, Scott Simpson, John Franco, Steve Clifford, Ty Tabor, Baz Luhrmann, Paul Feig, Bryan Singer, Kyle Chandler, Anastacia, Mark Brunell, David Reid, Rasheed Wallace, Jimmie Johnson, Flo Rida, Danny Haren, Eugenia Volodina, Alex Ovechkin, Mason Raymond, and Patrick Mahomes II.

Pablo Torre may be a strange lil fella who’s more obsessed with Jordon Hudson than Coach Bill himself, but he does seem to have Steve Ballmer dead to rights.

Cool limp, bro.

I hope Mike Reiss is going to demand a personal apology from the nepo GM for drafting Ja’Lynn Polk.

Red Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to police activity at Harvard.

‘Wake Up Barstool?’ That just makes one think of all the Barstool Rohypnol ‘n Foam parties back in the day.

If the Red Sox lose out they will finish 82-80. They were 81-81 last year.

Stefon Diggs and Cardi will definitely have to play zone and not man with all them kids.

You can say anything you like
But you can’t touch the merchandise
She’ll give you every penny’s worth
But it will cost you a dollar first

You can step outside your little world
(Step outside your world)
You can talk to a pretty girl
She’s everything you dream about…

(But don’t fall in love) She’s a beauty
(She’s one in a million girl) One in a million girl
(Why would I lie?) Why would I lie?

Congratulations to WNBA KIA Most Improved Player Award Winner Veronica Burton.

Another 2004 Red Sox documentary in the offing? Who asked for that?

And that goes double for Nana Gary Myers’ book.

I’m not saying you fiddled with the thermostat, but I didn’t set the heat at 55 degrees and the AC at 80.

Honk if you remember the Montrealer train.

I wonder if Pablo Torre is going to investigate the Saudi Flag Football League.

David Pastrnak will be limited in the first few days for training camp with an undisclosed injury.

Molly Qerim is a free agent.

Best bet for the weekend: Christian Gonzalez’s hamstring keeps him inactive vs Pittsburgh.

*Perpetually skeptical as to CLNS. Charlie Kirk 1993-2025*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, and things of that nature.

*And Happy Birthday to British actress Ella Purnell.*

*I hope Fred isn’t listing his height as 6’1″ on Grindr.*

Football Cat’s Week 2 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on September 12, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Can anyone of YOU beat Football Cat? The answer is a resounding “NO”. Despite what a nameless (brainless?) intern announced earlier this week. None of you (NONE OF YOU!) picked more winners in Week 1 than our beloved Football Cat. The faux “winner” picked 11 winners, mildly impressive for a human being. However, Football Cat picked 12 winners! TWELVE. This isn’t even advanced math like differential equations or, even worse, percentages (*gasp*). You don’t need to be a lonely pathetic ex-con finance manager working weekends selling unnecessary gap insurance to naive customers at your local car dealership to understand that 12 is greater than 11.

Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time

Unfortunately we here at Football Cat World Headquarters have been forced to petition the courts for a temporary injunction against the distribution of the official The15 joke prize pack to Mr. Warren Dull’s aunt. We request Miss/Ms./Mrs. Dull, or her representatives, direct all inquiries to @SteveBosell15. We look forward to eventually awarding the official The15 joke prize pack to an actual winner… which will be never, because YOU can’t beat Football Cat! You just can’t, but you’re welcome to keep trying.

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Look at the studio filled with glamorous merchandise

Good day and good luck!

Sunday Lunch Time
Jaguars at Bengals (-3.5)
Stripes over spots

Spots and stripes? That’s definitely advanced fashion

Giants at Cowboys (-5.5)
Pokes pop Pituitaries

Bears at Lions (-6.5)
Lions turn on their former handler

Rams (-5.5) at Titans
Horny sheep squash Tits

Patriots at Dolphins (-1.5)
Pats flounder against Phins

49ers (-2.5) at Saints
My good friend Mac is going to own in New Orleans

Mac and I will direct our laughter towards North Carolina (ha ha ha!)

Bills (-6.5) at Jets
Buffalo gets on the same page and orchestrate their attacks to perfection! The only thing McDermott is upset about is that this game wasn’t played on Thursday.

Seahawks at Steelers (-2.5)
Rodgers keeps rolling

Browns at Ravens (-11.5)
Black birds soar over Browns

Sunday Dinner Time
Broncos (-1.5) at Colts
Danny Dimes drops Denver

Panthers at Cardinals (-6.5)
Pretty Red Birds bludgeon Black Cats

Eagles at Chiefs (-1.5)
American Birds prove that their Super Bowl domination of those poor Native Americans was no fluke.

Sunday Prowl Time
Falcons at Vikings (-3.5)
Norsemen swallow up Penix

A hot dog is all the censors would allow us to use

Monday Prowl Time
Buccaneers at Texans (-2.5)
Texicans trounce Tampa

Monday Sleepy Time
Chargers (-3.5) at Raiders
Plugs short circuit the strip

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Week 2 – Beat Football Cat

Posted on September 11, 2025 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Same rules, same prizes as week 1!

Simply pick who you think will win this week’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack!

A BURNER ACCOUNT Tee Shirt! – A Jar of Fluff – and, a KENO snapback hat!

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this week’s NFL matchups:

Jaguars Bengals

Patriots Dolphins

Giants Cowboys

Bears Lions

Rams Titans

49ers Saints

Bills Jets

Seahawks Steelers

Browns Ravens

Broncos Colts

Panthers Cardinals

Eagles Chiefs

Falcons Vikings

Bucs Texans

Chargers Raiders Tiebreaker – total points scored combined

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good day and good luck!

09/10/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on September 10, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

Jerod Mayo won his first game as HC. Just sayin’.

Stupid me thought Kawhi’s LA Clippers contract was the no show job! <Rodney Dangerfield.gif>

Just catch the 95 MPH fastball you weren’t expecting. What’s the big deal? But you know who else wasn’t expecting a fast one down the middle? That’s right: John O’Keefe.

Dondy is gonna own the 2030’s

No mass shooting at UMass Lowell last week means the Shedd Park incident still the worst catastrophe in Lowell history.

“Jump Around”(1992) is not a great walkout choice for Super Bowl champs on opening night.

Pam Oliver is morphing into Harriet Tubman.

Brazil can be a dangerous country. A friend of mine lives there.

The subtext of The Departed is that Nicholson’s character is an impotent homosexual who grooms young, impressionable men into a life of crime. So yeah, I’m fucking JACKED UP for football season!

A tale of two rookie pitchers by facial hair… Payton Tolle: gets a 5 o’clock shadow at 3 p.m. Connelly Early: shaves once a month whether he needs it or not.

Get ready for the ‘Words and Phrases People Associate With Bill Belichick in Context’ website to bring the heat!

Cakes are cooking for Artie Tripp, Danny Hutton, José Feliciano, Larry Nelson, Judy Geeson, Barriemore Barlow, Bill O’Reilly, Don Muraco, Don Powell, Joe Perry, Gary Danielson, Amy Irving, Pat Mastelotto, Johnny Hickman, Carol Decker, Kate Burton, Siobhan Fahey, Chris Columbus, Colin Firth, Randy Johnson, John E. Sununu, Joe Nieuwendyk, Robin Goodridge, Big Daddy Kane, Guy Ritchie, Julie Halard-Decugis, Paula Kelley, Ben Wallace, Ryan Phillippe, Timothy Goebel, Misty Copeland, Joey Votto, Coco Rocha, Jordan Staal, and Brooke Henderson.

Rob Bradford was a Make-A-Wish kid who never died.

How are you, a grown ass 40+ year old adult, not using the correct form of “you’re” in a company wide email you sent to the owner of the company? You ARE…not ‘your’…what’re we doing here? This is like Day 1 school stuff.

Collinsworth looks like he got his makeup done at the funeral home.

Winthrop Ferry Notice: Service will bypass Seaport through the end of service today, Sept 10, due to construction for the Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series. Passengers can use the 712/713 bus between Orient Heights and Winthrop for alternate service.

Trying to find a 5’5” Asian male in Lowell? Good luck!

Maxx Crosby looks like a guy from one of Sons of Anarchy’s affiliate clubs in Oregon that gets introduced and killed in the same episode.

Twitter is now just literal Nazis and then guys who argue about Tom Brady, for some reason.

I’m worried about the Red Sox.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I miss taking walks in the woods with you and my wiener.”

I’d like to see a throwback NFL game where they install a dirt baseball infield.

Too bad the Celtics didn’t pay Jrue and Porzingis with tree money.

To call a game because of a thunderstorm is ridiculous. The Eagles played the Cardinals in a blizzard in 1948. I was there. – Upton Bell.

Is 38 Studios moving to the Seaport too?

You can’t put a number on how many kids I want to see catch measles in Florida.

Hockey things are happening. Rookie Camp is underway!

50% of my enjoyment from watching the Messi Barca teams was thanks to Ray’s commentary of the matches. Ray made me a fan and judging by the comments here… that was true of so many others. Congrats on a magesteeeeeeerial run.

Micah Parsons chasing down Jared Goff legit looked like a video you’d see on Animal Planet.

Ohio State beat Grambling like they whistled at a white woman. What?

Haha.. it said a New England Journal of Medicine study. So, its actually easier to sauce and get jacked than to be a natty daddy and just do the work.

Watching the game over this morning: I’m infuriated by the way TreVeyon Henderson was used in this game.

Early wins > Early Wynn * (* Adjusted for recency bias)

So the Billy Joel song, ‘Scenes From an Italian Restaurant’, is that restaurant Mr. Cacciatore’s, down on Sullivan Street
across from the medical center?

My gen alpha niece just asked me if I’ve seen the movie “KPop Demon Hunters.”

Will Campbell with a compression sock on his left ankle. Looked fine.

Is Jeff Howe selling Never Forget 9/3/25 merch for charity yet?

Jeremiah was a bull frog
Was a good friend of mine
I never understood a single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine
And he always had some mighty fine wine.

Singin’
Joy to the world
All the boys and girls, now
Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me.

Alls I’m saying is Bill Belchick wasn’t this petty a person until he was a media member for like, five months.

Honk if you remember Subway Flatizzas.

I worry less about the shoulder with Boutte then the clavicle.

News Item: Arthur Demoulas removed as Market Basket president, CEO. Time is a flat circle of sawdust.

If I’m going to take any health advice from an ex-junkie, It’s going to be Keith Richards.

Imagine having the audacity to criticize professional athletes for being too proud of a championship.

Patriots HC Mike Vrabel: DC Terrell Williams will be away for the next few days. Unrelated to the incident from March. Something that just came up. Plan is to run some tests.

Jeffrey Simmons always seems so under control and level headed.

Best bet for the weekend: Coach Drip in Miami needing a win to save his job.

Not the first time Dougie Meehan has pulled 7 G’s in one day! (Danger Zone guitar riff)

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Old Friend Larry Legend, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Roll us both down a mountain and I’m sure the fat man would win.

Football Cat’s Week 1 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on September 5, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Football Cat is tired from watching the Patriotic Birds play the Pokes.

Your long wait is finally over, and so is your Summah, football season is upon us! And this season is no ordinary season… this season YOU (yes, YOU!) get the opportunity to go head to head with our very own Feline Football Forecaster, the one, the only Football Cat!

One of our interns (I haven’t taken time to learn their names yet) outlined the rules in an earlier post.

The Cliff Notes version: If you can pick more winners than Football Cat you will be eligible to win a fabulous The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack! Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of tonight’s game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants! It’s that easy. All you have to lose is your self respect.

Which leaves us with the question… Can YOU beat Football Cat?

Sexta à Noite Prowl Time
Chiefs (-3) vs Chargers
“I play the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil
‘Cause everybody plays the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil
‘Cause it’s all we’ve ever wanted, and it’s all that you want still
Don’t you wanna play the beautiful game out in Brazil?”

Plugs shock Chiefs in the Southern Hemisphere’s Winter Classic

Pelé knew which game was the *real o jogo bonito*

Sunday Lunch Time
Buccaneers (-2) at Falcons
An opening week NFC South six pointer! Why wasn’t this on Sunday Night Football? Bucs win and all but clinch the division

Bengals (-6) at Browns
Stripey cats leave the Browns strewn across their litter box

Actually Cleveland is a really nice place… for me to poop on!

Dolphins at Colts (-1.5)
Ponies pop Porps

Panthers at Jaguars (-3)
Cat fight! Spotted cats send black cats home with two black eyes

Raiders at Patriots (-2.5)
Botox Brady’s team comes up short in the shadow of Tom’s tiny headed statue

Cardinals (-6.5) at Saints
Cardinals win the Holy War

Say two Hail Marys and one Act of Cat-trition (*uproarious laughter*)

Steelers (-3) at Jets
Men of Steel dominate in Metropolis

Krypto, Krytpo, Krypto! Why no love for Streaky the Supercat?

Giants at Commanders (-6)
I’m calling the president. Mr. President, we need the National Guard. We need as many men as you can spare because the Commanders are killing the Giants. Wait… what? They’re already here? Never mind.

My old Platoon Sergeant said the Guard was for pussies

Sunday Dinner Time
Titans at Broncos (-7.5)
Tits sag in the thin air

49ers (-2.5) at Seahawks
Fake Sea Birds rub Purrrdy the wrong way

Lions at Packers (-2.5)
Jungle Kings devour Meat Men

Texans at Rams (-2.5)
Horny sheep give Houston problems

Sunday Prowl Time
Ravens at Bills (-1.5)
Scary Black birds spook Hairy Cows

Monday Prowl Time
Vikings at Bears (-1.5)
Norsemen skin grizzlies

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Week 1 – Beat Football Cat!

Posted on September 4, 2025 by TheIntern15 One comment

Can you pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Simply pick who you think will win this week’s games. (Friday, Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack!

A BURNER ACCOUNT Tee Shirt!

A Jar of Fluff

and a KENO snapback hat!

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this week’s NFL matchups:

Chiefs Chargers

Bucs Falcons

Bengals Browns

Dolphins Colts

Raiders Patriots

Cardinals Saints

Steelers Jets

Giants Commanders

Panthers Jaguars

Titans Broncos

49ers Seahawks

Lions Packers

Texans Rams

Ravens Bills

Vikings Bears Tiebreaker – total points

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good day and good luck!

09/03/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on September 3, 2025 by scartsy15 Leave a comment

*Let’s go RED Sox! (weird Tom Werner cadence)*

All the cvnts who were performatively rooting for TCU Monday are the same ones who told us they were just being unbiased for years.

“The diamond is loaded” is absolutely a thing that people say.

I already want Tommy DeVito and his greasy butt plug of a manager dead.

All these years Boston sports fans hated Peyton Manning. Now they love Payton Pritchard and Payton Tolle. Amazing what swapping out an E for an A will do.

The next Jordon Hudson joke is going to be the funny one; I can feel it.

Brennan Bernardino looks like Noel Gugliemi.

They gave his radio show to a puffy whore. They took away his casino access. They made him angry. And you don’t make Dan Lifshatz angry.

Cakes are cooking for Dick Motta, Al Jardine, Dave Eichelberger, Valerie Perrine, Eric Bell, Don Brewer, Steve Jones, Costas Mandylor, Spike Feresten, Charlie Sheen, Chris Gatling, Luis Gonzalez, Keith Traylor, Martin Straka, Damon Stoudamire, Jevon Kearse, Garrett Hedlund, Shaun White, Dominic Thiem, Kaia Gerber, and Eileen Gu.

Jimmy Bulger would have turned 95 today too, Danny. But as the Bard wrote, “violent delights have violent ends.”

Hey gang of three-color carbonless invoice enthusiasts, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Do you have other plans today, or is that it?”

Old, white guys really love coffee.

The home run leader in the American League and the National League are both from the Cape Cod League. You’re welcome.

Green Line D Branch Reminder: Through September 11 Shuttle buses are replacing service between Kenmore and Riverside for maintenance work. Express shuttles are operating between Newton Highlands and Copley.

You know it’s a big event when Blake Snell shows up.

People from New England that use y’all should be shot in the face.

Someone please give James Gunn a hug and tell him how proud they are about how many obscure comic book characters he knows.

Nobody sweats enough to need 5000+ mgs of sodium a day.

Lays knows how to make potato chips, their Sour Cream & Onion and Barbecue flavors especially.

On May 13, 2004, the Boston Red Sox were blown out 12-6 by the Toronto Blue Jays and got passed for first place in the AL East by the New York Yankees. Roman Anthony was born that day. The rest is history.

I love when people pretend not understand why Irish-American Catholics root for Notre dame. So silly!

My dad is going to hang himself because my mom will watch the auto-previews on Netflix for hours and not pick anything to actually watch.

Good job, rookie Oriental golfer lady.

Noel Gugliemi is an American actor best known for his portrayals of Southern Californian gangsters.

Matt Patricia rolling out an overload sim with Caleb Downs on the line paired with a coffee house stunt the other way. Hooooo boy.

If the Sun moves to Boston, and assuming they adopt the Celtics colors and theme, they should absolutely be renamed the Banshees.

Not Luis Suarez!

Portugal is advancing to the next round of EuroBasket after a thrilling win following Neemias Queta’s ejection.

Roman has a strained oblique? Oh! Bleak!

Ay these edits on Tik Tok these days are on another level ! I don’t know what they are feeding these young hustlers but my goodness! Keep goin crazy!!!

Four young chiquitas in Omaha
A waitin’ for the band to return from the show
Feelin’ good, feelin’ right, it’s Saturday night
The hotel detective, he was outta sight

Now these fine ladies, they had a plan
They was out to meet the boys in the band
They said, “Come on dudes, let’s get it on”
And we proceeded to tear that hotel down.

I really feel like Saturdays are for Dr. Pepper ads and Sundays are for State Farm. Make it happen.

Woah, they released Buehler?

Honk if you remember the longest game in Fenway Park’s history, a 20 inning 8-7 loss to Seattle.

It’s time for Captain’s Skate at WARRIOR ICE ARENA already?

Well actually, Pete Rose is still not in the Baseball Hall of Fame, Mr. President.

Good for you, Jeff Howe. Way to wrest control from that dangerous spiral of six beers a week.

Tommy DeVito…we’re supposed to believe that this is a real person?

SportsChannel and NESN were $20/month on Continental Cablevision in the 80s. I paid for it with my paper route.

Wrexham has a midget.

With whom is Drake Maye getting his revenge? His elementary school teachers?

Kenny Anderson understands brand loyalty!

BC Eagles looking good early.

Best bet for the weekend: win or lose, no Gatorade bath for Coach Vrabes.

*You don’t need an official captain to hold a Captains’ Skate.*

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. We lose 80 minutes of daylight in September.