Smart shoppers are avoiding the crowds by visiting the official the15net.com store to pick up their official the15net.com merchandise. It’s what all the cool people will be wearing to the office Christmas party. And who doesn’t want to be cool?
Q: Who could ever look cooler than these Fonzies
A: These two heartbreakers
Sunday Lunch Time Rams (-10) at Panthers Horny sheep skin black cats
49ers (-4.5) at Browns Prospectors fry Colonel Sanders
It takes a tough cat to make a tender bird
Texans at Colts (-4.5) Indianapolis Jones whips Houston
Saints at Dolphins (-5.5) Tua’s Dolphins dunk tanking Saints
He’s not called Coach Drip for nothing
Falcons (-2.5) at Jets Birds of Prey soar over sputtering Jets
Cardinals at Buccaneers (-2.5) Pretty Red Birds fly past Bucs
Jaguars (-6.5) at Titans Spotted cats top Tits
Did someone say “jaguar tit top”? EDITOR’S NOTE: These are leopard spots, not jaguar spots. We regret the error.
Sunday Dinner Time Vikings at Seahawks (-11.5) Sam Darnold haunts Vikings
Raiders at Chargers (-10) Bolts put out Vegas’ lights
You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in white
Bills (-3.5) at Steelers Buffalo wings Yinzers
Sunday Prowl Time Broncos (-6) at Commanders Rested Broncos bust Commies
Monday Prowl Time Giants at Patriots (-7.5) Pats head to the bye on a high
You can get the top selling Jonathan shirt in blue
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Turkey fans enjoy giving out gobbles this time of year, but what about America’s fastest, and fattest, growing dietary subgroup the Porksaterians? Well don’t worry Porky, we’re here to satisfy you with a serving of oinks.
Grant Huckvale (a.k.a. Hogdale): Hogdale carved a niche for himself as an overly exuberant alternative broadcaster to the stoic and bland official Red Sox play-by-play teams on NESN and WEEI. Over the summer you’d see Hogdale clips occasionally retweeted into your timeline, usually after Red Sox wins, and you’d think to yourself “I think that’s the tops“. We probably all agree that Hogdale is special. Smash cut to present day, and we are confronted with a hog of a different color. Barstool, in an effort to fill an obese chromosomically challenged void in their lineup, swooped in and waved a lucrative (by part-time minimum waged Iowan standards) five figure contract in front of Hogdale’s snout and lured him into their slaughter house. Now Hogdale’s giant screaming maw is ever present, ever hot takey and ever annoying. To quote Rocky IV: “What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster”. 4 oinks 🐷🐷🐷🐷
That will do pig
Thanksgiving early eaters time Packers at Lions (-2.5) Jungle Kings slice and dice Cheese Heads
Thanksgiving late eaters time Chiefs (-3.5) at Cowboys Squantos feast on the Pilgrims
Thanksgiving overeaters time Bengals at Ravens (-7) Scary Black Birds bury Burrow’s boys
Black Friday Afternoon Nap time Bears at Eagles (-7) Birds bully Bears
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Don’t worry Minifans, Kirk will still be on all that Barstool shit you don’t care about!
Wonder if Bruins fans envision 63 one day hanging in the rafters. The number, not the player.
First Take is The View for unemployed men.
I see the 12-year-olds with meme accounts still have no idea how the NFL scheduling formula works
Cambridge is really an interesting city. It’s designed to look just like Boston and it wants so hard to be Boston, but it has none of the charm or way of life that make Boston what it is.
Ryan Clark has gotten so good at apologies they got him apologizing on behalf of Stephen A now.
I’ve grown entirely too fond of using balsamic glaze on just about everything.
I’ll never not root for Jacoby Brissett.
Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Jim Mora. UConn’s a baseball school anyway.
Cakes are cooking for Rich Little, Jan Stenerud, Ethan Russell, John McVie, Art Shell, Richie Hebner, Ilona Staller, Harry Carson, Bob Walk, Dale Jarrett, Harold Reynolds, Chuck Finley, Adam Gaynor, Mario Elie, Jeff Jaeger, Garcelle Beauvais, Sue Wicks, John Stirratt, Steve Lofton, John Amaechi, Shawn Kemp, Winky Wright, DJ Khaled, Jamie Fiske, Natasha Bedingfield, Rita Ora, and Louis Ducruet.
Was today years old learning Reggie Lewis has the exact same birthday as Björk.
Just got a complaint from another worker that the demo im doing is too loud. You’ve got two options buddy. Put some fucking ear plugs in or find a new line of work.
I was an earlier sabermetrics adopter but yes this has gotten out of hand.
Worcester Line Train 519 (7:30 am from South Station) will make additional stops at Wellesley Farms through West Natick to accommodate passengers from terminated Train 1517 (7:10 am from South Station).
Head Dummy—is that better or worse than Viceroy?
Congratulations Medford! You get to wallow in filth and vermin while your eco-idiot mayor counts the green scam money. The real trash problem is at city hall.
Get well soon Will Campbell. And Jared Wilson. And Khryiris Tonga. And Neemias Queta.
Stephen A. Smith thinks everything in sports revolves around him. Cam not even on enough for everyone to know he’s on lol. There are people who still ask what happened to Max Kellerman and that was like 3 years ago.
I really enjoyed the hell out of @RealGDT’s FRANKENSTEIN on Netflix. Terrific filmmaker.
How can I worry about not having an SP2 when I still haven’t seen a WR1?
Mass Maritime football is basically 13th grade.
Marcus Jones read that terrible throw like a millennial ripping through Harry Potter.
I think I said this before but Josh Allen could really use a Stefon Diggs.
Josh is an unreliable narrator, like Holden Caulfield, or Dan Lifshatz.
Threw some chords together The combination D-E-F Is who I am, is what I do And I was gonna lay it down for you
I try to focus my attention But I feel so A.D.D. I need some help, some inspiration But it’s not coming easily
Trying to find the magic Trying to write a classic Don’t you know, don’t you know, don’t you know?
There’s an NCAA Mens basketball player named Jordan Marsh? Does he happen to have a recipe for blueberry muffins?
FYI: There was an entertainment world before 1970.
Nowhere for UMass Football to go but up. Or stay winless next year too, I guess.
I think I wouldn’t mind being hairless.
Sending my boss the lyrics to “Knuck If You Buck” was not on my bingo card for a Monday.
Geekie is studly. See what I did there?
Honk if you remember Bobby Orr’s last game as a Bruin.
Did Jahlani Tavai know ahead of time that Kirk was quitting the podcast?
Chris Gasper thinks you lose socks in the washing machine.
I laughed out loud when Gordon Wood popped up on Kenny Burns’ documentary.
Kirk stayed long enough with saddling Portnoy with a one-year Mut contract. Kinda respect it.
Wriggle is an underrated word.
Gonna pay an Indian guy to start an army of pro-Belichick accounts.
Maybe Orlovsky can be the new UConn coach. Mina can be the OC with her big football brain.
Best bet for the weekend: slow moving traffic.
Remember the reason for the season.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Over the river and through the woods.
Bianca says it’s okay to wear your stretchy pants tomorrow.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Again? Inconceivable!
Congratulations again to Warren Dull’s aunt for beating Football Cat in Week 11! It’s a good thing we’re not like all the casinos and betting sites that banned Dan Lifshatz for winning too much! Hahahahaha!
Three wins = Turkey Dinner
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
Stuff n’ Fluff
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Jets at Ravens
Steelers at Bears
Patriots at Bengals
Giants at Lions
Vikings at Packers
Colts at Chiefs
Seahawks at Titans
Jaguars at Cardinals
Browns at Raiders
Eagles at Cowboys
Falcons at Saints
Buccaneers at Rams
Panthers at 49ers (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our swell team of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
Throughout the first few weeks of the regular season, coach Joe Mazzulla has discovered what works and what doesn’t: tapering the rotation, trimming Anfernee Simons’ minutes when it’s clear he doesn’t have it, and putting Chris Boucher on ice to free up minutes for the emerging Neemias Queta and the hot-and-cold Luka Garza.
It’s no secret what Boston lacked heading into the season and continues to miss—a glaring void that stares you in the face during every game: the absence of elite passing, dribbling, a steady hand at the wheel during moments of crisis, and rebounding whenever Queta is on the bench.
Not having Jayson Tatum around makes it easier for opposing teams to strangle the offense, especially in the last two minutes. The Celtics in the clutch lack sufficient answers, and the offense reverts to a “cross your fingers and hope it works out” philosophy. Boston sports a 2-6 record in close games. Their offensive rating sits at 118.4; defensive rating at 112.9; and net rating at +5.4. Derrick White and Payton Pritchard are solid players, but filling in for the role Jrue Holiday once did is above their pay grade. They’re better suited as connective passers, not table-setters.
Johnston Joe is a hard-nosed Rhode Islander.
How the Celtics cobbled together 7 wins in the season’s first 14 games stems from a hard-nosed, barebones approach that takes every game to the wire. If I were to tell you White was shooting just 35.9% to start the year, you’d assume the team ranked amongst the dregs. But it’s how players like him have contributed on defense even when being challenged offensively that is a testament to “Mazzulla-Ball” and its flexibility. Defense is the real bulwark of this team that’s held together by duct tape—White being the best shot-blocking guard on any roster.
The aforementioned big man, Queta, and his 7-foot frame—able to shift his hips like a soccer player on the pitch to stay with his man even outside the paint—keeps the defense from having to collapse inside to help. His 108.7 defensive rating, on top of his +13.1 on/off-court rating, showcases the rewards of Boston’s years of development of him since coming over from Sacramento. It was once far-fetched to imagine Queta being anything but a rotational big man; now, you have to imagine a contract extension is in play if he keeps this up.
There is no need to be afraid of Jordan Walsh when he is off the court.
In the middle of their in-between season, the Celtics have managed to keep themselves interesting. Jordan Walsh is slowly emerging as a credible defender, having back-to-back solid efforts against Tyrese Maxey and James Harden. The younger players have earned their keep.
Fans have labeled the Celtics’ approach to the season “Ethical Tanking”—losing games while maintaining competitiveness. While it’s likelier to land the Celtics outside of the lottery, perhaps it leaves open the possibility that they aren’t far from re-entering the title conversation when Tatum comes back next season.
Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does not livein Johnston.
Man. Quoting Cam Newton in Ebonics is a rough look.
I’m no computer nerd, but the best way to avoid B*arstool tweets probably isn’t throwing a banana cream pie at their clown car.
Mazzulla is always visibly fuming when Drew Carter does the pre-game interview.
Kirk is taking Mut not knowing what a sitcom is really hard.
I wonder if Dianna Russini has thoughts about the Olivia Nuzzi revelations.
Being able to move on from your playing days is a skill.
I was just thinking, is Barstool ready for what they’ve started? No one messes with Hardy and Sarge’s crew and gets away it.
Coed adult cheerleading team?
Red Sox now have a new catcher, but only one bullpen lefty. Concerning.
Cakes are cooking for Ted Turner, Eddie Raynor, Calvin Klein, Dennis Hull, Bob Boone, Ahmad Rashad, Robert Beltran, Kathleen Quinlan, Ann Curry, Charlie Kaufman, Michael Wilbon, Alison Janney, Grant Ledyard, Meg Ryan, Jodie Foster, Terry Farrell, Paul Weitz, Gail Devers, Rocco DiSpirito, Gary Disarcina, Justin Chancellor, Jeremy McGrath, Savion Glover, Jack Dorsey, Kerri Strug, Ryan Howard, Adam Driver, and Patrick Kane.
Little known fact: The viceroy and roy aren’t constitutionally allowed to fly on the same airplane.
I had a Pop-Tart and feel disgusting.
Never in NFL history has a backup QB come into a game and used it as the launchpad for a successful career.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Editorial discretion.”
Meanwhile, the phrase that never pays to say is and remains, “May I meet you?”
The NFL is better when the Jaguars are good.
Stan Musial: 1815 home hits. I815 road hits. As the Ol’ Perfessor would say, “You can look it up.”
One might say Kenni’s about to grow into an allergy… of getting owned.
Aaron Glenn looks like the leader of a slave rebellion.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Surely this Kendra humiliation will cut through all the squids telling her how great she is.
“Blue-collar chip on shoulder guy” is a top 5 annoying personality type.
Robert appearing to be half a head taller than Gronk thanks to his booster seat is ridiculous.
Kirk Herbstreit’s job at this point is just humoring doddering old men while they prattle on about bullshit from 30 years ago. “Oh, really, Hartford? Wow, crazy.”
If Gresh blocked at URI like he does on Twitter he would’ve been drafted.
Does Pete Carroll have a legacy and is it in flames?
John Cena vs. Dominik Mysterio at Survivor Series would absolutely slap.
YOU were in a rock fight with the Jets, caller!
Normally you had to pay admission to one of Portnoy’s old Barstool foam parties to get that level of abused.
Have any of the radio stations gone to all-Thanksgiving music yet?
Honk if you remember Briff.
Rewatching the Patriots game and it brought up a random thought. I really miss the bond you get from being on a team. I miss that team camaraderie. Nothing like it. Anyone else miss it? Let us know in the comments.
Now if I appear to be carefree, it’s only to camouflage my sadness In order to shield my pride, I’ve tried to cover this hurt with a show of gladness But don’t let my show convince you That I’ve been happy since you decided to go (why did you go?) Oh, I need you so (I need you so) I’m hurt and I want you to know (want you to know) But for others I put on a show (it’s just a show)
Ooh ah, there’s some sad things known to man But there ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a clown When there’s no one around, oh yeah
Mais non, cher, from what I see, Gresh lost over 100 pounds back in 2019 wit’ a program, not Ozempic. No sign he usin’ dat stuff. Callin’ him a slob? Dat’s subjective, me, but he a sharp sports guy. Laissez les bons temps rouler!
You had me at “ok face.”
Imagine thinking having 5 active jobs on the ol’ LinkedIn looks good.
When did YAC yards become RAC yards?
You know a guy is dirty when Mark Schelreth says, “this guy isn’t dirty.”
BYU and UNC will have an epic Holiday Bowl in 2027.
Next thing you know we’re going to find out she doesn’t really work 65 hours a week.
Aloha means goodbye. Aloha, Johnny Beecher.
Best bet for the weekend: Bill the GM’s former players playing well on other NFL squads.
THE GARDEN was built for the brawlers, the bombers, THE ABSOLUTE SHOT-CALLERS! Beantown demands the PROS, baby, not some doe-eyed amateurs still figuring out which end of the rink is up! We shelled out our hard-earned cash to watch the GODS: Russell blockin’ shots into the Charles, Orr flyin’ end-to-end like a jet, Bird drainin’ ‘em with the silky smooth, Espo snipin’ top shelf where Mama hides the cookies! These are the GIANTS who strode among us mere mortals! So take that college kiddie carnival back down to Storrs, Geno!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Wash before wearing.
And happy birthday to Ukrainian-Canadian supermodel Daria Werbowy.
Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!
Congratulations to Warren Dull’s aunt for beating Football Cat once again in Week 10!
So. Happy. For. You. Ma’am.
How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)
(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)
Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:
Commanders at Dolphins
Panthers at Falcons
Buccaneers at Bills
Chargers at Jaguars
Bears at Vikings
Packers at Giants
Bengals at Steelers
Texans at Titans
49ers at Cardinals
Seahawks at Rams
Ravens at Browns
Chiefs at Broncos
Lions at Eagles
Cowboys at Raiders (Tiebreaker – total points scored)
Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our hardy heam of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!
As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!
and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!
Double TRADEMARK!
As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):
Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!
Sunday Desayuno Time Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5) ¡Los delfines ganan!
Sunday Lunch Time Panthers at Falcons (-3.5) Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win
Times are tough
Buccaneers at Bills (-6) Bills bully Baker
Chargers (-3) at Jaguars Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs
From the golden age of advertising
Bears at Vikings (-2.5) Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears
Packers (-7) at Giants There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.
High brow humor!
Bengals at Steelers (-5.5) Yinzers flatten Flacco
Texans (-6) at Titans Tex squeezes Tits
Sunday Dinner Time 49ers (-3) at Cardinals Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds
He’s gaining on you red
Seahawks at Rams (-3) Horny sheep trample fake sea birds
Ravens (-7.5) at Browns Scary black birds flush the Browns
If it’s brown, flush it down
Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos Chiefs bust Broncos
Sunday Prowl Time Lions at Eagles (-2.5) Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly
He likes his cheese steak extra cheesy
Monday Prowl Time Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders Ranch hands rustle Raiders
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Hey stupid, there was another, even easier way to retire as a Patriot.
Poor Kacsmar. Maye won a game where he made “over” 26 pass attempts. That means six more weeks of not leaving the basement.
Might be time for JB to make the call to Dr. Leonard. Just sayin’,
Portnoy has a nutritionist, a personal trainer, and a personal chef and he’s still sloppy.
Baseball needs more awards. There; I said it.
Bill’s dream job becoming available enough to pry him out of Chapel Hill, caller?
Boston is cornering the market on Marco/Marko’s. Think Marco Scutaro wants a job with the Sox staff?
Ketamine makes you act inauthentic sometimes.
For Curt Schilling, there’s nothing hotter than sending someone to the showers. What?
Antonio Brown’s perpetual motion fall from grace continues. Tom vouched.
Cakes are cooking foe Wallace Shawn, Al Michaels, Booker T. Jones, Neil Young, Valerie Leon, Buck Dharma, Pooch Tavares, Jack Reed, Paul McNamee, Megan Mullally, Greg Gagne, Nadia Comăneci, Naomi Wolf, Erik Howard, Michael Moorer, Sammy Sosa, Tonya Harding, Mayte Garcia, Radha Mitchell, Ashley Williams, Cote de Pablo, Ryan Gosling, Anne Hathaway, Jason Day, and Russell Westbrook.
Nap Lajoie is the only Hall of Famer whose plaque includes the word “graceful.” Would loved to have seen him play.
Ending a bag of peanuts on a good peanut is an underrated great feeling.
Portnoy brought in Hogdale to look skinny by comparison.
Why didn’t Dondero pause for a longer amount of time before executing that completely spontaneous spit-take?
All the best football experts promote shady gaming apps.
Red Line Update: Delays of about 10 minutes due to an earlier train with a door issue at Davis. Service is proceeding.
Imagine having a kid and wanting to tell Perrault and Carrabis.
Zolak talked all over the 4th down stop, which was good because then he was all tuckered out for the Henderson run.
How is it 2025 in America and most stores in the mall don’t stock 3XL T-shirts?
National Signing Day and it’s some retard in a shitty cafeteria choosing between Endicott and Fitchburg State hats.
Who needs Mac & Cheese on Thanksgiving?
I’m so glad Rich Eisen went back to ESPN, so we don’t have to listen to his terrible play-by-play.
Mike Lombardi’s hair looks like when a guy in a 70s sitcom had a hairpiece that would fall off and he’d frantically put it on backward.
Papaya Gaming?
Hey gang of grifting gals, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “She has the shape of a DeNucci.”
If tinnitus is a disability I’m Stephen fucking Hawking.
RA slurs so much that the generated captions don’t match what he’s saying.
Team Bucko Kilroy here. For reasons.
Hey buddy, haven’t you heard there’s a penny shortage in this country?
Seven game winning streaks. So hot right now.
Too soon to call Flagg a GM killer?
C’mon UMass!
Honk if you remember Grönk Flakes.
This is obviously all a ploy for Mina Kimes to promote her Mahjong app.
He’s a perfect stranger Like a cross of himself and a fox He’s a feeling arranger And a changer of the ways he talk He’s the unforeseen danger The keeper of the key to the lock
Know when you see him Nothing can free him Step aside, open wide He’s the loner.
So I can’t see the Northern Lights, but my cell phone can? That doesn’t seem fair.
The Cleveland Guardians pitchers were a good start, but when are they going to arrest Troy Vincent?
Celtics lead the league in the strong effort in helpful losses category.
Bo Nix with eye black looks like Bill Romanowski.
The irredeemable slobs at 98.5 are upset they can’t treat their workplace like a college dorm kitchenette.
BC basketball lost to Directional Connecticut? Was Bill O’Brien in attendance?
Every fanbase hates their OC no matter what. It’s ridiculous.
I’m not saying we bullied Joe into giving Walsh playing time, but I’m not not saying it either.
Have we mentioned that Pasta is a Good Kid? Because he is.
Best bet for the weekend: visits to the meat counter to order the fresh turkeys.
Mmmm. You can really taste the beechwood sawdust aging.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column.Gas glove available inside.
The 15 