Play in Games: Region C 12 Seed Steve Buckley vs wild card Shukri Wrights, Region V 13 Seed Dan Greenberg vs wild card Henry McKenna, Region N 14 Seed John Karalis vs wild card Gethin Coolbaugh, and Region T 15 Seed Courtney Cox (WEEI) vs wild card Cerrone Battle.
Play in games will be on Monday, March 11th. The rest of the field will begin on Tuesday, then Thursday and Friday of next week.
Caitlin NMI Clark. Now the all-time leading college basketball scorer. And she did it with a foul shot. Fundamentals!
I’m trying to convince myself that was a scheduled loss for the Celtics, but it feels like a regular loss.
Are the Bruins back on that Overtime foolishness again? I thought we cleared that up last month!
Red Sox might consider just painting BOSTON on the bottom of the AL East standings part of the Green Monster scoreboard. Save an employee some time fiddling with the signs.
I have no worries about the draft. After receiving a few hours of training at the insurance company, Coach Jerod has created a four tab spreadsheet for the draft. He’ll share it with the friendly media at the next beer summit of forgiveness.
Caitlin Clark is going to play for some Panini team in Italy? Weird.
Cakes are cooking for Marion Barry, Ivan Boesky, Cookie Rojas, Kiri Te Kanawa, Hugh Grundy, Martin Kove, Richard Noble, Kiki Dee, Rob Reiner, Eddie Deezen, Tom Arnold, Sleepy Floyd, Carla McGhee, Moira Kelly, Shaquille O’Neal, Greg Ostertag, Ken Anderson, Erik Bedard, and Tyler, the Creator.
How was Episode 5 of The Dynasty not titled ‘Do You Have Any Cassels?’
The way Stilgar was talking about Paul is basically the way Nick Wright talks about LeBron.
Hey gang of engagement farmers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Every time I look at this bitch, I expect her to start belting out ‘Under the Bridge’.”
A UCL injury for Giolito? Can’t eat innings with one of those. It’s like a busted jaw.
You know, sometimes, imposter syndrome is correct.
Little known fact: Tommy Lister’s famous character Deebo is based off a story Ice Cube heard about a man named ‘Bill the G.’
Is there any available wall space that the Japanese don’t advertise on?
What do you mean there was no three-point shot when Pete Maravich played? This changes everything.
What’s your favorite album with a hidden track over 3 minutes and 32 seconds after the final track?
I believe that Jeff Howe believes he’s fighting a courageous battle.
Orange Line Reminder: March 9-10 (This weekend) Shuttle Buses replace service between Forest Hills and Ruggles for signal work. Commuter Rail service will be free to ride between Forest Hills, Ruggles, Back Bay, and South Station.
Does Bill Simmons think Doncic is Serbian?
Hard to think of a family that has had more bad luck of late than the Wakefields. Thoughts to Trevor and Brianna, who are left to go on without their mother and father far too soon.
The O.J. Simpson case was covered by great crime writers like Dominick Dunne and James Ellroy. The Read case has autistic freaks and unemployable delinquents. Just a murderers’ row of ‘tards.
One Kelce down. One to go.
Mark Dondero is worried that the Celtics might lose one out of every 12 games in the playoffs.
It’s the time of the season When love runs high In this time, give it to me easy And let me try with pleasured hands
To take you in the sun To promised lands To show you every one It’s the time of the season for loving
What’s your name? (What’s your name?) Who’s your daddy? (Who’s your daddy?) (He rich) is he rich like me? Has he taken (has he taken) Any time (any time) (To show) to show you what you need to live?
Tell it to me slowly Tell you what I really want to know It’s the time of the season for loving.
For the record, I think kombucha tastes absolutely terrible. Unless it makes me immortal, I don’t think I’m going out of my way to drink it again.
With Matthew Slater retiring, it looks like Jabrill Peppers is the new fan favorite of the returning group. A great choice.
Get your servers in order, men of DraftKings.
Jordan Montgomery is now widely believed to be wearing on the last nerve.
Honk if you miss Jimmy Orthwein.
Watched May December last night. That’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back. Movie is just empty, has nothing to say, no insight into its characters, no action. BAD.
Wait another ten years and Bill Simmons will know about gas station kratom!
A: Scissors, duct tape, elastics.
Is it me or Pizza Hut isn’t as good as it used to be? Like it’s alright but I feel like it’s not as good as it was.
That Sydney Sweeney has a certain je ne sais quoi. Perhaps two.
The two most famous Mickey’s in America are Mickey Mouse and Mickey Mantle.
No, Ryan Mallet was decidedly unavailable.
Do you know what Kate Middleton did the last 14 years of her life? Counterintelligence. Kate’s gone. There is no Kate.
Hearing from multiple sources that some trades may happen on trade deadline week.
Blitzing my way through the Apple TV shows after signing on for The Dynasty, and those twunts on Ted Lasso and Slow Horses say twat all wrong!
Back-to-back threes put the Celtics back in control versus Golden State. Bob Ryan must have hated that.
Have fun in Mid-America, UMass. Or something.
Did they dedicate a picnic table to John and Gerry down to Spring Training?
Congratulations to Captain Brian.
Rigor Mort?
Best bet for the weekend: YOU forgetting to set your clock ahead.
Mix it up with The15’s elite Elk Cavalry at your peril.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend BBtL, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Handle with care, the digital ink is still wet on this edition.
And happy birthday to actress Connie Britton, of Spin City, Friday Night Lights, and Nashville fame.
Oyez, Oyez! All those having business before the Tournament Selection Committee of The15net dot com division of The Local Collaborative, take heed and listen:
The following media members, Dale Arnold, Ron Borges, Dave Brown, Tom Caron, Jared Carrabis, Jon Couture, Duke Castiglione, Greg Dickerson, Vern Dozier, Mark Farinella, Chris Forsberg, Steve Happas, Michael Holley, Adam Kaufman, Jay King, Ken Laird, Hector Longo, Mike Lynch, Bobby Manning, Chris Mannix, Jen McCaffrey, Lou Merloni, Mike Mutnansky, Dave O’Brien, Michael Parente, Paul Perillo, Dakota Randall, Alex Reimer, Dan Roche, Eric Rueb, Rich Shertenlieb, Fluto Shinzawa, Christopher Smith, Butch Stearns, Tara Sullivan, Gary Tanguay, and Eric Wilbur will NOT be participating in this year’s March Sadness Tournament. For reasons.
We regret to inform the voters that, due a recent unfortunate accident, Jeff Howe will not be participating in this year’s tournament. He is currently busy hugging his loved ones a little tighter in an undisclosed location. He has been granted a medical waiver, one we were going to use for Dan Shaughnessy before realizing it would be a darn shame if he missed out on winning a posthumous title. Jeff wants you all to know that he will be back as soon as possible, tanned and rested, ready to a manifest his next traumatic event.
Congratulations to new contestants Chris Cotillo, Courtney Cox, Chad Graff, Mike Kadlick, Kendra Middleton, & Tyler Milliken plus Cerrone Battle, Gethin Coolbaugh, Henry McKenna and Shukri Wrights! The last four ‘wild cards’ were included thanks to special dispensation from the Selection Committee, despite having otherwise disqualifying factors, such as insufficient ties to an actual media organization, residency outside New England, and not being real.
The remainder of the field is as follows:
Automatic Radio Bids: Marc Bertrand, Christian Fauria, Michael Felger, Andy Gresh, “Hardy”, Greg Hill, Adam Jones, Rich Keefe, Tony Masserotti, Meghan Ottolini, Joe Murray, Fred Toucher, Scott Zolak, plus 2nd & 3rd bananas Christian Arcand, Jim Murray, Jon Wallach, and Jermaine Wiggins.
Online media: Steve Buckley, Nick Cattles, Mike Giardi, Dan Greenberg, Joe Haggerty, John Karalis, Taylor Kyles, Khari Thompson, Jerry Thornton, Jared Weiss, John Zannis-
Print media: Peter Abraham, Albert Breer, Andrew Callahan, Tom E. Curran, Mark Daniels, Kevin Paul Dupont, Chad Finn, Christopher Gasper, Karen Guregian, Sean McAdam, Bob Ryan, Dan Shaughnessy, Gabrielle Starr, Gary Washburn-
Televison: Trenni Casey, Michael Hurley, Ted Johnson-
At-Large bids: Brian Barrett, Rob Bradford, Chris Curtis, Mark Dondero, “Fitzy”, Nick Gemelli, Andy Hart, Evan Lazar, Dan Lifshatz, Matt McCarthy, Phil Perry, Brian Scalabrine, & James Stewart.
Peter King. A true journalist that could be bought for a lifetime by a ride to an NFL training camp and a plate of cafeteria scrambled eggs. Mr. King plans to spend his retirement with his family and learning to recognize subtle social cues.
You are gonna have to try a little harder Grim Reaper to get ol’ Jeff Howe!
So now the Sox have a Jason Alexander and the grandson of the actor who played Mr. Ross. Maybe Crazy Joe Davola has a nephew who can really hit.
I feel like the owner shouldn’t continually repeat the story about calling the coach a schmuck.
After watching most of two hockey games on TNT, I can’t get “The Rhythm of the Slice” out of my head.
Yes, but storming the court is also awesome.
Cakes are cooking for Mario Andretti, Donnie Iris, Mike Figgis, William Finn, Ricky ‘the Dragon’ Steamboat, Cindy Wilson, Rae Dawn Chong, Djamolidine Abdoujaparov, Tim Goad, Shawn McEachern, Eric Lindros, Jason Aldean, Jamaal Tinsley, Natalia Vodianova, Karolína Kurková, Jelena Janković, and Luka Dončić.
Oh waaaah; I’m so lonely playing basketball for 50 million a year. If only I was in Florida I wouldn’t be as lonely.
Does Fanatics know that their baseball pants are sheer? does Fanatics know that their baseball pants are going to be like a wet t-shirt contest after one inning?
The winners in the NFL salary cap spike? Everyone. But an especially big win for quality players at premium positions. Teams have that much more room to reset the market (hello, Justin Jefferson) or pay very good players near the top of the market.
Imagine thinking we have an ethos.
I am officially convinced the people who run MLB are brain dead idiots. Lots of people like me want to see all 30 ballparks. So smartly I wanted to kill two birds with one stone and see both Baltimore and Washington on the same weekend this summer. However, the geniuses who run the game didn’t schedule both the Orioles and Nationals to be home on the same weekend ONCE ALL SUMMER. Like who the hell is making the decisions down there good grief wake up.
The Red Sox not jumping on making Mike Monaco full time is insane.
A thought while reading the tributes to Peter King. Don’t measure your success on who you stepped over in your climb, but by those you carried along the way. Be respectful of others. I think that’s forgotten lately, and the best tribute to Peter King is to be a Peter King.
Ok but why is CVS the most expensive store for no reason?
Hey gang of ribald comedy enthusiasts, this week’s Phrase that pays is, “Was Meat vaxxed?”
Update: Lonzo Ball is still unable to sprint.
Michael Holley talking about Bill’s hubris is incredible.
Watched a college game tonight with Drew Carter on the call and he’s a billion times better when he’s not giggling and jerking Scalabrine off.
Lemon trees don’t make a sound, ’til branches bend and fruit falls to the ground, baby, Sweet baby.
Swayman with more rebounds than Carrie Bradshaw.
Does everyone remember that one day like seven years ago when we thought male rompers were gonna be a thing and everyone did the funniest tweets about it? Best day in Twitter history.
India will never make a World Cup in soccer.
We were at the beach. Everybody had matching towels. Somebody went under a dock, And there they saw a rock. It wasn’t a rock’ It was a rock lobster!
Rock lobster!
Rock lobster!
Rock lobster. Rock lobster.
You ever get to the bottom of a bag of coffee grounds and realize you have no idea what this one specifically tastes like? Couldn’t pick that flavor from a lineup. Drank it exhausted for two weeks, don’t think I noticed what I was drinking once. Forgettable. It was just…coffee.
Hey @PFF, it looks like you have the Steelers and Rams reversed in Round 2 of your mock draft simulator (unless I’m missing something)
Damian Lillard is a huge loser who NBA fans treat like Kobe because he stayed in Portland longer than expecting before forcing his way out. I understand that NBA fans are by and large the vapidest dummies on earth but Christ. He’s never won shit and he comes off as a whiny little bitch. Play basketball and then go home and play video games with no financial worries? He’s living the life of a ten-year-old. Dame time.
I’ve never seen a single person inside a Mattress Firm.
My favorite thing about having a cat is when I come home we just softly scream at each other for an hour like sometimes us girlies just need to eckkk I think this is why my mom loves my cat so much too.
Fun Fact: the Bruins have Olympia Ice Resurfacers. First NHL team to own a Zamboni, first NHL team to get rid of Zamboni.
I don’t think I can ever leave Boston again because on any given weekday I can text my parents “what’s the move” like we’re frat brothers and they’ll actually respond with a move.
Full moons are one of life’s simple pleasures. They sneak up on you and they’re awesome.
Honk if you remember the final episode of M*A*S*H.
We are heartbroken to report that Flaco the Eurasian Eagle-Owl has died after an apparent collision with a building on West 89th Street in Manhattan.
Johnny Miller thinks Sean McAdam looks terrible.
Leap Day is the perfect time to end the overtime game streak, Bruins. Think about it.
Years back I ran into Don Rickles at Foxwoods and said hi. He made fun of me. Perfect celebrity interaction.
If the NWSL had pro/rel the USWNT would have beaten Mexico.
A: Zibby Puleio.
The Dynasty is the Star Trek V of Patriots documentaries.
Wait, full moons don’t sneak up on you; they happen on a regular and predictable basis.
Arguing that a player should be in the Hall of Fame because he is better than the worst mistake from the past is like arguing that I ate some spoiled fruit yesterday, so I should eat some more spoiled fruit today.
In sports!
B- for coach was the highest grade on the Patriots NFLPA report card. Belichick, owning.
Have more awards shows.
Best bet for the weekend: Celtics keep the win streak alive.
Flaco. Breathtaking, but sadly not elite.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Sixty, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Roam if you want to. Roam around the world.
And happy birthday to actress Ali Larter, who will always be Allegra Coleman to me.
The Patriots new coaching staff is big enough to need its own post office and fire department.
Wow. That Nick Gemelli guy is somehow less funny than Plain Black Hat.
Notorious social butterfly Larry Bird.
The Red Sox roster looks pretty well set going into spring training. They just need to find the right people to fill in the last 17 or 18 roster spots.
Hey, Jaylen didn’t dribble the ball off his leg during the dunk contest!
William Byron won the Daytona 500 after rain forced the rescheduling of the event to Monday? That’s what happens when you build a racetrack so close to the Great Lakes.
We will take a shootout win to semi-salvage the homestand, Bruins. Good luck on the road trip.
Dan Shaughnessy had heart surgery? What, they finally gave him one?
Cakes are cooking for Bob Ryan, Tyne Daly, Olympia Snowe, Jerry Harrison, William Peterson, Kelsey Grammer, Alan Trammell, Jake Steinfeld, Chuck Palahniuk, Terry Allen, Wish Bone, Ashley Greene, and Phil Jones.
UMass won that one for “Trigger” Burke. RIP.
Just left the grocery store and I have a take: There are too many kinds of apples now. Not saying we should go back to just red but the number of options is confusing. Around 5 types of apples are enough.
It rocks that Sabrina Ionescu did that. great accomplishment. super fun. very rad event.
Hey gang of attention seekers, his week’s Phrase that Pays is, “How do you look at a baby and name it Kirk?”
Tony Mazz: ‘Caitlin Clark is the real deal.’ You think so, doctor?
I’m sure Mrs. Looch regrets saying whatever it was that made him angry. Please respect their privacy at this time.
Billionaires will always- always – billionaire.
Red Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to an earlier medical emergency at Park St. Trains may stand by at stations.
It’s funny that running only one mile per day didn’t do shit.
Bill looks like he’d rather be watching video of Linda getting her implants removed than being interviewed for The Dynasty documentary.
Going forward, there needs to be a 100 NBA minutes played that season minimum to participate in the dunk contest.
Yeah, I’m very much enjoying Heel Rock.
Why was Market Basket so crowded on Monday? was it because of the holiday and school vacation?
Caitlin Clark must get so much clam.
News item: Iditarod’s reigning rookie of the year disqualified from 2024 race for violating conduct standard. Also; the Iditarod has a conduct standard.
Steering with her knees, she’s got both hands free. Using cruise control you know, reaching over she likes to tease.
She said, “Ride- Rev it up, rev it up, little boy and ride” She said, “Let’s ride- Rev it up, rev it up, little boy and ride”
Just use your body, don’t need to hitch-hike When you ride with me little boy take it any way you like.
Remember that period in the 1980s when there would be two or three new baseball movies every year? That was fun.
The Raiders are hiring former Dolphins head coach Joe Philbin as their new senior offensive assistant, source said. After spending time as the Cowboys OL coach and the Ohio State senior analyst, Philbin is back in the NFL to lend experience to Antonio Pierce.
Honk if you remember Eric Heiden.
So long Matthew Slater. You only get one of those. Aww yeah.
My favorite winter storm that changes track at the last minute and fizzles out? The next one.
“Oh boy, I’m not even sure I want a farewell tour!” said LeBron out loud to a question no one really asked.
Root canal? Not as painful as expected.
An A for effort from Sony Pictures for the pivot to, ‘Madam Web is SO bad, you HAVE to see it!’
Por vs Para is an important part of knowing Spanish.
National Lacrosse League announcing a relocation mid-season is absolutely wild and also I thought we were just past that kind of stuff.
The wing, that’s an important part of the airplane, right?
Drew not seeing the doc producer’s intent to make him look like an entitled jerk it may as well have been a disguised blitz package.
Best bet for the weekend: a still-smarting from the loss at Creighton UConn vs Villanova in Storrs on the night they retire Rip Hamilton’s jersey.
FFS.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Flying Under Radar.
And happy birthday to actress hyphen singer Jennifer Love Hewitt.
News Item: Kansas City Chiefs win Fairness Bowl I.
Don’t fret, local sports fans: Spring Training has started!
Have you been named a Patriots Assistant Coach? Are you sure? Check your spam folder.
The Super Bowl is Darren Rovell’s Super Bowl.
Post Malone looks like the desk you’d have to sit in during detention.
Brad Marchand: One. Thousand. Games.
Funny how the Joe Montana “Never lost a Super Bowl” GOAT threshold went ‘poof’ when it wasn’t Tom Brady threatening the title.
Was the SB Halftime Show sponsored by Valtrex?
Summary of advertising agencies intricate strategy for Super Bowl ads: “Look, here’s a celebrity!”
CGI Tim Wakefield on that Netflix Red Sox show is gonna give me all the feels.
Cakes are cooking for Carl Bernstein, Jackie Martling, Teller, Kevin Keegan, Alan Hunter, Jim Kelly, Enrico Colantoni, Jules Asner, Simon Pegg, Gheorghe Muresan, Drew Bledsoe, Rob Thomas, and Tyler Clippard.
Evander Kane don’t want no scrubs.
Queen Mina doesn’t need to grind tape. She knows the pew pew when she sees it live.
Bill Barnwell looks like a thumb’s big toe.
Usher’s catalog isn’t very poppy. They should have made the whole halftime show out of Luda.
Congratulations again to the Northeastern Huskies on their Beanpot win. Celebrate by spending another year in college.
It’s not the real meteorologists for the most part – it’s the asshole hobbyists with WX in their names that can’t wait to see a frontogenesisbomb! Wait until the 06z NAM!!! Same cut of prick that loves screaming Horns!! And Elevator Doors!!
Hey gang of chronic overthinkers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “We wanted the ball third.”
Seth Curry has played for more teams than Frankie de la Cretaz.
Green Line B Branch Update: Delays of about 20 minutes after an earlier switch problem near Copley. Riders may use Bus Rt 57 for alternate service between Kenmore and Packard’s Corner.
Theo’s first big move in Boston: Pearl Jam is coming back to play at Fenway.
Fuck, hate to see that shit happen anywhere to anyone. Just gutting to watch. Yet in the aftermath, the Rangers camaraderie—particularly Lafrenière— with a fallen peer was a heartwarming moment during a heartbreaking scene. Wishing the best for Sergachev.
why do blind people need to take photos?
Nate Burleson was dressed like a megachurch pastor about to go to jail for embezzlement.
Fun Fact: Karen Guregian and Gerry Callahan graduated together at Chelmsford HS in 1979. That’s a shitty senior class with lasting repercussions.
I’m sure this time the Fantastic Four movie won’t suck.
Super Bowl ads for Jesus and for lotion. Do people not know about these things already?
Jonny Miller only owns 1 outfit like Bart Simpson.
Am I the only one who always confused Charlotte Corday with Claudine Longet?
Pro Wrestling is more than in-ring work. If all you like is in-ring work, you’re really a gymnastics fan.
A: Acquired Inconsistent Dribbling Syndrome.
My funny Valentine. Sweet comic Valentine. You make me smile with my heart.
Your looks are laughable. Unphotographable, Yet you’re my favorite work of art.
Is your figure less than Greek? Is your mouth a little weak When you open it to speak? Are you smart?
But don’t change a hair for me, Not if you care for me, Stay little Valentine stay;
Each day is Valentine’s Day.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. Hypothetical: What if Beyonce dated an NHL player?
Krafty Bob spends more time on red carpets than Brianna Pirre.
Honk if you remember Torvill and Dean.
CONCACAF? More like CONCAC-AF!! Right!? Right? Okay.
Upton Bell mistook Ice Spice for Fanne Foxe.
Kansas City has now won 3 Super Bowls in the Mahomes era. They’ve been called for offensive holding zero times in those 3 wins.
Does everybody still have a mix of soaps and disinfectants setting around that they bought early in the pandemic and never completely used? Or is it just me?
Kenley Jansen has the locker that used to be Chris Sale’s, in case you like to keep track of these things.
Well, the good news is that the country at large turns on you like a snake after you win the Super Bowl three times. Right?
I was dying for another Planet of the Apes movie.
Best bet for the weekend: Nothing but good vibes from the Fort!
One Large Irregular, please.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. HVD.
Breaking News: Bianca would be happy to be your Valentine.
Both the bar & grill and its namesake are now gone.
With his third DUI arrest, Pat Mahomes Sr. now qualifies as a branch on the Andy Reid family tree.
I wonder how much ownership stake it took for Theo Epstein to agree to be a human shield.
Sick of the BS from the zebras with Marchand again. The entire team can’t get a call because he’s the Captain and was an asshole ten years ago.
Any time you can rig the Super Bowl for a media market smaller than Hartford, you gotta do it.
If you can’t spot the Dan Greenberg of your group chat, then you’re the Dan Greenberg of your group chat.
Cakes are cooking for Rolf Benirschke, Emo Phillips, Carney Lansford, James Spader, Garth Brooks, Chris Rock, Sully Erna, Alex Bassi, Robyn Lively, Steve Nash, Ashton Kutcher, John Leicester, Matt Stafford, and Steven Stamkos.
What am I going to do with all of my extra Bluesky codes now?
Gary Kubiak went the Clemens & Kardashian route of having all his kids names start with K? Gross.
Chris Curtis was excited to announce the news of Carl Weathers passing. RIP.
So they stuffed all the media covering the Super Bowl into the Luxor, which is apparently a dump? Good.
If you have two Patrick Passes, you have none.
Red Line Reminder: Through February 14 Shuttle buses replace Red Line service all day between Alewife and Harvard, due to track work. Shuttle service extends to Park St after 8:45 PM each day. Regular service will resume on February 15.
Would you rather be Nemo from Finding Nemo or the shark from Jaws?
Usher is finishing up a 2-year residency in Vegas. Assumed it was at the Circus Circus buffet.
I’m disappointed in Dumb Donkey Noise.
Bill Clinton’s presidency ended 23 years ago…. and he’s still younger than the two current candidates.
The ‘Ruth Gordon’ IG filter was a bad idea.
Felger must be wondering now if that’s also a fake Gene Lavanchy leaving things at his house.
It would be nice if wrestling fans could just let a story play out instead of thinking they should get instant satisfaction crammed into every 3-hour Raw or 2-hour Smackdown.
Put more jelly on your toast.
News Item: Red Sox to be 1st MLB team featured in all-access Netflix documentary series.
I guess my sarcasm doesn’t always translate.
Hey glow-up gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “She’s lovely, just an enormous waste of humanity.”
I know I’m old and out of loop musically, but if someone is really “iconic,” I really think that even I should have heard of them.
Eric Bieniemy must be the worst interviewee in the world.
1,100 bats seems like a lot of bats.
You can’t use ED to mean ‘eating disorder!’ Those initials are spoken for!
Taylor Kyles can’t keep talking about reviving Mac Jones. He just can’t.
Red Sox Nation is still accepting applications to its in-house tortured poets department.
Get well soon Bill James.
Lombardi bringing up Lee Harvey Oswald at every possible opportunity is a funny bit.
You know I love the ladies Love to have my fun I’m a high life flyer and a rainbow rider A straight shootin’ son-of-a-gun (Alright) I said a straight shootin’ son-of-a-gun.
Joy to the world All the boys and girls Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea Joy to you and me.
Shukri Wright is owed $46,394.30 and he’ll never find out.
Toby Keith wanted to add Riblets to his Bar & Grill menu; it fell to Upton Bell to inform him that Applebees Owns Riblets.
Honk if you remember Paul & Al’s wacky Claiborne Pell.
Imagine being turned down by Nick Caley, of all people, while you jet off to the Grammys?
Bankrupt Audacy didn’t sent any WEEI talent to broadcast from Radio Row? Weird.
I ain’t calling no grown man, ‘Bronny.’
One week from today Red Sox pitchers and catchers will be holding their first official work out in Fort Myers.
Monique needs to go breathe in the woods.
I wonder if Apollo Creed was based on any real-life pugilist?
Extremely telling and problematic that in sports there are only stats for how many points you scored. No stat for how many spirits you lifted. How many hearts you warmed.
Best bet for the weekend: Tie: Swifties on FlightAware/The Drake Curse.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW Poster Lebron, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Jeremiah was a bullfrog. He was a good friend of mine.
No shadow so that means an earlier Bianca picture than normal.
A famous person dating another famous person? IT’S AN OP!!
Purdy got very lucky on the Aiyuk throw, but you gotta give dude his flowers. He’s been a gamer in the biggest moments this postseason.
Hey, Red Sox fans, who doesn’t love a diversified suite of sports and entertainment holdings?
People care way too much about Taylor Swift at Chiefs games. Her boyfriend plays, of course she’s there. She doesn’t make anyone show her on TV. I watched years of Jack Nicholson at Lakers games and Spike Lee at Knicks games. Nobody seemed to think it was the end of the world.
I think it’s time to end the Brian Scalabrine experiment. We’ve taken this as far as we can.
Kyle Shanahan was born in 1979. He should have to bend the brim of his hat.
Karl Anthony Towns is KAT. Derrick White is The Catalyst.
Cakes are cooking for Charlie Musselwhite, Jonathan Banks, Nolan Ryan, Kelly Lynch, Kelly Moore, Minnie Driver, Portia de Rossi, Jim Kleinsasser, Kerry Washington, Justin Timberlake, and Yuniesky Betancourt.
Oh goodness no, Lamar. That’s a disaster.
70 ain’t what it used to be. That said it’s still insane when dudes get there.
Well, even if you don’t much care for Kansas City, a Harbro losing must dull the pain somewhat.
Jeff Goodman, he seems well adjusted.
‘Eye test’ is now a phrase people who have no idea what they are watching use to sound like they know football.
It’s nearly 3 weeks later, has the great big emergency at the cardboard factory been straightened out yet?
Probably wouldn’t fuck your knees up if you wore appropriate footwear you silly cvnt.
I prefer Linebacker Reasons rather than Safety Reasons.
I’m told Jim Harbaugh remains in the building at the facility, as I type this, per source. #Chargers
Belichick to the Chiefs? Why would Andy Reid retire? It’s not like he has any more sons that can die or go to jail.
Just heard “Stacy’s Mom” in spatial audio and I almost teared up.
Curt Menefee is Great Value James Brown.
Justin Turner and his representatives reached out but could not get the Red Sox interested enough to engage in talks. He will be a significant, needed addition for the Blue Jays.
I love Elephants, amazing video.
I don’t get this Cerrone Battle thing. He lives in Raleigh. Are there no black guys living in greater Boston who are qualified to act as a human shield for 98.5’s on air racism?
Hey gang of Ocean State disbelievers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “The Voluntown-Exeter War will be bloody and pointless.”
Gronk talks like he’s concocting a story by looking at items scattered throughout a room.
Be more desperate to find an alcoholic who peaked in high school that will tune you up once or twice a month. You can’t.
Better recurring letdowns by the C’s in the third quarter than in the fourth, I guess.
Baby-baby, I’ll meet you, Same place, same time, Where we can get together And ease up our mind.
Oh, do a little dance, make a little love; Get down tonight, woo! Get down tonight, hey! Do a little dance, make a little love. Get down tonight, get down tonight, baby.
Craig Carton went to prison for a Ponzi scheme. He seems trustworthy.
Disappointed in the lack of gratuitous lesbian sex in the first episode of the new season of Hightown.
No matter what else he does, Dante will always be Rufio to me.
Honk if you remember Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Competent people outside the organization aren’t exactly lining up to work for Jonathan and Robyn, are they?
I like Jan’s tweets. They’re very informative.
Fenway Sports Group doubtless brings Joe Mooney’s lifetime of groundskeeping experience to their partnership in the LIV/PGA merger.
Nobody told you the Celtics weren’t ever going to trade Brogdon.
It might be time to retire and repurpose my Dave Meggett fan account.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget Gary Tanguay wrote the most disturbing book of all time.
I’m sure eventually Lamar Jackson will have more playoff wins and AFCCG appearances than Ryan Tannehill.
Mutual partings of the ways; they happen in Foxborough and even in Tewksbury, Danny.
Have you signed up for Bruce Allen’s newsletter at BSMW.email yet? First one’s free.
Time for Cam Achord to follow his true calling: selling me percs in 2006.
Jimy Williams. He feuded with Carl Everett and called Christopher Nixon, ‘Drut.’ RIP.
Best bet for the weekend: Good Kid Pasta scoring in the NHL All Star Game.
Nice hat, stupid.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Peter Gammons, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Oh, that’s the way, uh-huh, uh-huh I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh.
And happy birthday to Italian actress Daniela Bianchi, best known as Tatiana Romanova in From Russia With Love.
(Originally published October 21, 2020 at BJBSJournal.com)
Luscious Juicy Sandwiches
Sounds anecdotal.
I’ve always wanted to fondle a pitching rubber and get John Tudor’s autograph, not to mention, put in writing how I feel about the trio of fartknockers that run this organization.
Voting at Fenway? Joe Moody must be quite busy today!
Sorry, folks. Never in my life heard of Twix. And many of you probably never heard of the Clark Bar. Anyway, everyone knows that if we were constitutionally restricted to one (1) candy, it would have to be Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. All you Twix freaks now have a moral obligation to go out and buy a month’s supply to keep your beloved candy in business.
Did you know the Red Sox traded Mookie? Zoinks!
Josh Allen? Not elite.
Cakes are cooking for Manfred Mann, Judith Sheindlin, Charlotte Caffey, Joey Harrington, and Kim Kardashian.
How many shares in the Red Sox do I have to buy to steal Linda from John? Would.
Steve Buckley coming out, and the fraud Ordway trying to come across as an advocate for sexual choice. He sat by silent while the revolving door of WEEI dickwads spewed anti-gay sentiment. Just recall when the gay marriage bill was in debate and how Glenn’s big ex-jock buddies ripped on that ad nauseum. They knew Buck was gay, and did this crap in his presence. Shame on Buck for his willingness to take a check at the expense of his own dignity, and shame on the gaggles of douchebags that put him in that dilemma. Don’t reinvent history and try to come off as supportive. All parties involved at WEEI are frauds and I’d expect nothing less at this point.
“Mother’s basement” is really a pre-WiFi insult. Now you can troll from anywhere in the house!
Also, I was today years old when I found out that Joe Buck is the son of Marv Albert. Gonna need a moment here.
Swishy. Sackface. And the Milkman’s Son. That’s it. That’s the post.
Last week, Dak Prescott gets hurt. This week, Dak Emrick announces his retirement. Some coincidence.
If Twix sponsored the ’67 Impossible Dream Red Sox Bobert would have crispy cookie and caramel smothered all over his mouth and down his chin every day.
You’re not changing my mind. In a way, never liking Kirk Minihane is an ADVANTAGE.
I wonder if there is a Boston Media Home for Little Wanderers? Butch Stearns and Pete Sheppard having morning coffee together. Doug Meehan cleaning the kitchen and complaining that Bob Lobel is a slob. Ted Sarandis coming home angry every night after yet another unsuccessful attempt to find a five dollar hooker.
Plain Black Hat is due to discover Midsommar next Summer.
Cool fall weather means it’s that time of year to stay inside, sit in a recliner in a dark room, and scratch your arms.
Tom Caron has always been a huge Liverpool FC. Yup, for sure, always.
If the day ends with a -y, then you can bet Trenni is on the hunt for men on Plenty of Fish.
He Got Game is retroactively bad because Ray Allen is a cunt.
Howdy, Taggers, Invisoneers, WordPressers and Slackers! This weeks Phrase that Pays is ‘Value-Pak Slap Mags!’ Honkies!
Does anyone know the fall hours at Whalom Park?
Can’t wait for the Red Sox Ownership Group to introduce Wally’s latest relative, ‘Financial Flexibility!’
Zoomy Zubes!
Mouse-wife to Mom-shell in the time it took to get that new tattoo, tattoo, tattoo!
Well actually, the building is no longer structurally sound and a family of 6 squirrels is now homeless. In this economy? How will they survive? This is what happens in Trumps America.
“Behind the Scenes at WCVB” That’s a book I’d buy… -Amalia Barretta…was she the reason for the breakup of Chet and Nat? -Frank Avruch…was he really a legendary swordsman? -Derm Keohane…most knew him as the ugly guy in the small box doing sign language on the morning news before closed captioning was invented…what you don’t know is what a prick he was!!! -Clark Booth…did he really have a larger porn stash than Bin Laden? -Captain Bob…his scandalous secret life and X-Rated etchings!!! -Jim Boyd…the shocking items he hid in his afro!
UMass football probably needed more practice time, too.
When are we finally going to cancel Pete Blackburn for misappropriation of gay culture?
Honk if you remember Mr. Magoo.
You can’t WFH an RPO!
Merloni, with his dyed facial hair and mop is resembling “the Great Svengarlic”, the fraudulent hypnotist that walked the Three Stooges out onto a flagpole.
It’s Wape Wice, for the good times.
Best bet for the weekend: Joe Buck overload.
If anyone needs me I will be out walking my pet rat, ‘Ronald.’
material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, other writers, league and team sources, and#the15 wereused in this column.Fare thee well, Robert LJ ‘HotDog’ “Bob from NH” Sandwich. You are missed.
The 15 