I don’t care that it’s spring training. Listening to Joe Castiglione call Red Sox games, after all these years, is still such a treat.
Does it feel like the Celtics have won 51 games, Tone?
Patriots were in on everyone. Full throttle to the cash incinerator!
All right Bruins, get healthy…Now!
Bill the GM could have re-upped all Bill the Coach’s players just as easily as Mayo and WolfPacker Way just did.
Deadspin. Dead again. Riddance.
Cakes are cooking for Neil Sedaka, William H. Macy, Dana Delaney, Kathy Hilton, Adam Clayton, Will Clark, Curtis Conway, Trent Dilfer, Johan Santana, Caron Butler, Marco Andretti, P.K. Subban, and Coco Gauff.
Oscars have to be the Super Bowl for Twitter.
Xavier and Butler with a classic throwback Big East game to usher in the most iconic tournament in the world. Throw out the records when these longtime rivals meet.
Allium and tulips emerging. And coffee.
Jaguar JAG Jones?
Ryan Gosling ain’t no Sinatra that’s for sure. Go put on some Abercrombie and Fitch pretty boy.
West Newbury is just Amesbury without a sledding hill.
Rupert Murdoch singing Robert’s praises in The Dynasty? Was Roy Cohn unavailable?
Hey gang of sofa scouting tape grinders, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Hey man, is everything okay? I feel like your posts are really negative and mocking without much of an attempt at sincere dialogue. Maybe I’m mistaken, but I’d genuinely like to know if there’s any way I can help.”
As the focus shifts from free agency to Pro Days…
The Vegas Golden Knights consistently operate like there is a massive meteor hurtling toward Earth. Good player available? Might as well trade for them because we’re all gonna be dead in a couple months anyway.
Malcolm; Go! Go and file your retirement papers. Thank you for your service.
My bizzle: ‘Say’ broke his news here.
Orange Line Reminder: March 18-21: No Train service between Jackson Square & North Station for track work. Use Buses between Jackson Square & Back Bay/Copley. Use Green Line between Copley & North Station. Commuter Rail will be free to ride from Forest Hills to South Station.
What’s the cap hit for your QB running off to pretend to run for VP for a few months?
DeVante Parker’s visor swag was off the charts.
The way this is going Saquon ain’t never gotta buy a Philly Cheesesteak at any jawn in Philly ever.
Patriots have a Chumbawumba and a Takitaki now?
Derrick Henry + Keaton Mitchell is the thunderest + lightneingest thunder and lightning pairing one could conceive of.
When I was young I never needed anyone And makin’ love was just for fun Those days are gone
Livin’ alone I think of all the friends I’ve known When I dial the telephone Nobody’s home
All by myself, don’t wanna be All by myself anymore All by myself, don’t wanna live All by myself anymore.
So Emma Stone won another Oscar for a Frankenhooker/Rochelle, Rochelle mash-up? Okay.
A: ‘Smilin Sam from Alabam.’
Can Robert use AirKraft One to deliver surplus Mac Jones jerseys to Haiti? They may want some Papa Gino’s as well.
Honk if you remember Floyd Patterson.
You can tell the big East tournament is such a big deal with how much everybody tries to convince you of it
Jacksonville is a dumb person’s idea of a nice place to live.
Can Aaron Hernandez’s child still utilize the family room at Gillette? Oh, wait Kraft didn’t provide one.
Who is Mike Kadlick?
Yesterday was the anniversary of Bird scoring 60 against Atlanta in a neutral site game. The NBA must have the full footage of that game under lock and key too, right?
Promises were made of the fireworks variety.
Hard to figure who all these poor sports on Kim Mulkey’s LSU squad are learning it from.
RDJ should have bitch-slapped Jimmy Kimmel.
Missing out on signing the spectacularly meh Calvin Ridley wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.
Best bet for the weekend: The Boston Globe continuing its hard pivot from the Baseball Paper to the Football Paper.
A sad farewell to Boston Herald columnist Joe Fitzgerald. We will continue to cook and not bake birthday cakes in his honor.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend jforb, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. One look at you and I can’t disguise.
(Clears throat) If you have been enjoying the run up to this year’s Mediot Tournament, or the ones previous, or the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, or the articles investigating out local sports media, or the Twitter hijinks of the local collaborative, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free. The Crowdsignal plug-in that tabulates the votes costs money as well. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you. Thanks for reading.
The Wild Card participants all move on into The Big Sads! They’ve earned an off day. Ten contests today, an off day for everyone Wednesday, 12 more on Thursday, with last 10 of Round One on Friday. Let’s Go!!
Play in Games: Region C 12 Seed Steve Buckley vs wild card Shukri Wrights, Region V 13 Seed Dan Greenberg vs wild card Henry McKenna, Region N 14 Seed John Karalis vs wild card Gethin Coolbaugh, and Region T 15 Seed Courtney Cox (WEEI) vs wild card Cerrone Battle.
Play in games will be on Monday, March 11th. The rest of the field will begin on Tuesday, then Thursday and Friday of next week.
Caitlin NMI Clark. Now the all-time leading college basketball scorer. And she did it with a foul shot. Fundamentals!
I’m trying to convince myself that was a scheduled loss for the Celtics, but it feels like a regular loss.
Are the Bruins back on that Overtime foolishness again? I thought we cleared that up last month!
Red Sox might consider just painting BOSTON on the bottom of the AL East standings part of the Green Monster scoreboard. Save an employee some time fiddling with the signs.
I have no worries about the draft. After receiving a few hours of training at the insurance company, Coach Jerod has created a four tab spreadsheet for the draft. He’ll share it with the friendly media at the next beer summit of forgiveness.
Caitlin Clark is going to play for some Panini team in Italy? Weird.
Cakes are cooking for Marion Barry, Ivan Boesky, Cookie Rojas, Kiri Te Kanawa, Hugh Grundy, Martin Kove, Richard Noble, Kiki Dee, Rob Reiner, Eddie Deezen, Tom Arnold, Sleepy Floyd, Carla McGhee, Moira Kelly, Shaquille O’Neal, Greg Ostertag, Ken Anderson, Erik Bedard, and Tyler, the Creator.
How was Episode 5 of The Dynasty not titled ‘Do You Have Any Cassels?’
The way Stilgar was talking about Paul is basically the way Nick Wright talks about LeBron.
Hey gang of engagement farmers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Every time I look at this bitch, I expect her to start belting out ‘Under the Bridge’.”
A UCL injury for Giolito? Can’t eat innings with one of those. It’s like a busted jaw.
You know, sometimes, imposter syndrome is correct.
Little known fact: Tommy Lister’s famous character Deebo is based off a story Ice Cube heard about a man named ‘Bill the G.’
Is there any available wall space that the Japanese don’t advertise on?
What do you mean there was no three-point shot when Pete Maravich played? This changes everything.
What’s your favorite album with a hidden track over 3 minutes and 32 seconds after the final track?
I believe that Jeff Howe believes he’s fighting a courageous battle.
Orange Line Reminder: March 9-10 (This weekend) Shuttle Buses replace service between Forest Hills and Ruggles for signal work. Commuter Rail service will be free to ride between Forest Hills, Ruggles, Back Bay, and South Station.
Does Bill Simmons think Doncic is Serbian?
Hard to think of a family that has had more bad luck of late than the Wakefields. Thoughts to Trevor and Brianna, who are left to go on without their mother and father far too soon.
The O.J. Simpson case was covered by great crime writers like Dominick Dunne and James Ellroy. The Read case has autistic freaks and unemployable delinquents. Just a murderers’ row of ‘tards.
One Kelce down. One to go.
Mark Dondero is worried that the Celtics might lose one out of every 12 games in the playoffs.
It’s the time of the season When love runs high In this time, give it to me easy And let me try with pleasured hands
To take you in the sun To promised lands To show you every one It’s the time of the season for loving
What’s your name? (What’s your name?) Who’s your daddy? (Who’s your daddy?) (He rich) is he rich like me? Has he taken (has he taken) Any time (any time) (To show) to show you what you need to live?
Tell it to me slowly Tell you what I really want to know It’s the time of the season for loving.
For the record, I think kombucha tastes absolutely terrible. Unless it makes me immortal, I don’t think I’m going out of my way to drink it again.
With Matthew Slater retiring, it looks like Jabrill Peppers is the new fan favorite of the returning group. A great choice.
Get your servers in order, men of DraftKings.
Jordan Montgomery is now widely believed to be wearing on the last nerve.
Honk if you miss Jimmy Orthwein.
Watched May December last night. That’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back. Movie is just empty, has nothing to say, no insight into its characters, no action. BAD.
Wait another ten years and Bill Simmons will know about gas station kratom!
A: Scissors, duct tape, elastics.
Is it me or Pizza Hut isn’t as good as it used to be? Like it’s alright but I feel like it’s not as good as it was.
That Sydney Sweeney has a certain je ne sais quoi. Perhaps two.
The two most famous Mickey’s in America are Mickey Mouse and Mickey Mantle.
No, Ryan Mallet was decidedly unavailable.
Do you know what Kate Middleton did the last 14 years of her life? Counterintelligence. Kate’s gone. There is no Kate.
Hearing from multiple sources that some trades may happen on trade deadline week.
Blitzing my way through the Apple TV shows after signing on for The Dynasty, and those twunts on Ted Lasso and Slow Horses say twat all wrong!
Back-to-back threes put the Celtics back in control versus Golden State. Bob Ryan must have hated that.
Have fun in Mid-America, UMass. Or something.
Did they dedicate a picnic table to John and Gerry down to Spring Training?
Congratulations to Captain Brian.
Rigor Mort?
Best bet for the weekend: YOU forgetting to set your clock ahead.
Mix it up with The15’s elite Elk Cavalry at your peril.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend BBtL, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Handle with care, the digital ink is still wet on this edition.
And happy birthday to actress Connie Britton, of Spin City, Friday Night Lights, and Nashville fame.
Oyez, Oyez! All those having business before the Tournament Selection Committee of The15net dot com division of The Local Collaborative, take heed and listen:
The following media members, Dale Arnold, Ron Borges, Dave Brown, Tom Caron, Jared Carrabis, Jon Couture, Duke Castiglione, Greg Dickerson, Vern Dozier, Mark Farinella, Chris Forsberg, Steve Happas, Michael Holley, Adam Kaufman, Jay King, Ken Laird, Hector Longo, Mike Lynch, Bobby Manning, Chris Mannix, Jen McCaffrey, Lou Merloni, Mike Mutnansky, Dave O’Brien, Michael Parente, Paul Perillo, Dakota Randall, Alex Reimer, Dan Roche, Eric Rueb, Rich Shertenlieb, Fluto Shinzawa, Christopher Smith, Butch Stearns, Tara Sullivan, Gary Tanguay, and Eric Wilbur will NOT be participating in this year’s March Sadness Tournament. For reasons.
We regret to inform the voters that, due a recent unfortunate accident, Jeff Howe will not be participating in this year’s tournament. He is currently busy hugging his loved ones a little tighter in an undisclosed location. He has been granted a medical waiver, one we were going to use for Dan Shaughnessy before realizing it would be a darn shame if he missed out on winning a posthumous title. Jeff wants you all to know that he will be back as soon as possible, tanned and rested, ready to a manifest his next traumatic event.
Congratulations to new contestants Chris Cotillo, Courtney Cox, Chad Graff, Mike Kadlick, Kendra Middleton, & Tyler Milliken plus Cerrone Battle, Gethin Coolbaugh, Henry McKenna and Shukri Wrights! The last four ‘wild cards’ were included thanks to special dispensation from the Selection Committee, despite having otherwise disqualifying factors, such as insufficient ties to an actual media organization, residency outside New England, and not being real.
The remainder of the field is as follows:
Automatic Radio Bids: Marc Bertrand, Christian Fauria, Michael Felger, Andy Gresh, “Hardy”, Greg Hill, Adam Jones, Rich Keefe, Tony Masserotti, Meghan Ottolini, Joe Murray, Fred Toucher, Scott Zolak, plus 2nd & 3rd bananas Christian Arcand, Jim Murray, Jon Wallach, and Jermaine Wiggins.
Online media: Steve Buckley, Nick Cattles, Mike Giardi, Dan Greenberg, Joe Haggerty, John Karalis, Taylor Kyles, Khari Thompson, Jerry Thornton, Jared Weiss, John Zannis-
Print media: Peter Abraham, Albert Breer, Andrew Callahan, Tom E. Curran, Mark Daniels, Kevin Paul Dupont, Chad Finn, Christopher Gasper, Karen Guregian, Sean McAdam, Bob Ryan, Dan Shaughnessy, Gabrielle Starr, Gary Washburn-
Televison: Trenni Casey, Michael Hurley, Ted Johnson-
At-Large bids: Brian Barrett, Rob Bradford, Chris Curtis, Mark Dondero, “Fitzy”, Nick Gemelli, Andy Hart, Evan Lazar, Dan Lifshatz, Matt McCarthy, Phil Perry, Brian Scalabrine, & James Stewart.
Peter King. A true journalist that could be bought for a lifetime by a ride to an NFL training camp and a plate of cafeteria scrambled eggs. Mr. King plans to spend his retirement with his family and learning to recognize subtle social cues.
You are gonna have to try a little harder Grim Reaper to get ol’ Jeff Howe!
So now the Sox have a Jason Alexander and the grandson of the actor who played Mr. Ross. Maybe Crazy Joe Davola has a nephew who can really hit.
I feel like the owner shouldn’t continually repeat the story about calling the coach a schmuck.
After watching most of two hockey games on TNT, I can’t get “The Rhythm of the Slice” out of my head.
Yes, but storming the court is also awesome.
Cakes are cooking for Mario Andretti, Donnie Iris, Mike Figgis, William Finn, Ricky ‘the Dragon’ Steamboat, Cindy Wilson, Rae Dawn Chong, Djamolidine Abdoujaparov, Tim Goad, Shawn McEachern, Eric Lindros, Jason Aldean, Jamaal Tinsley, Natalia Vodianova, Karolína Kurková, Jelena Janković, and Luka Dončić.
Oh waaaah; I’m so lonely playing basketball for 50 million a year. If only I was in Florida I wouldn’t be as lonely.
Does Fanatics know that their baseball pants are sheer? does Fanatics know that their baseball pants are going to be like a wet t-shirt contest after one inning?
The winners in the NFL salary cap spike? Everyone. But an especially big win for quality players at premium positions. Teams have that much more room to reset the market (hello, Justin Jefferson) or pay very good players near the top of the market.
Imagine thinking we have an ethos.
I am officially convinced the people who run MLB are brain dead idiots. Lots of people like me want to see all 30 ballparks. So smartly I wanted to kill two birds with one stone and see both Baltimore and Washington on the same weekend this summer. However, the geniuses who run the game didn’t schedule both the Orioles and Nationals to be home on the same weekend ONCE ALL SUMMER. Like who the hell is making the decisions down there good grief wake up.
The Red Sox not jumping on making Mike Monaco full time is insane.
A thought while reading the tributes to Peter King. Don’t measure your success on who you stepped over in your climb, but by those you carried along the way. Be respectful of others. I think that’s forgotten lately, and the best tribute to Peter King is to be a Peter King.
Ok but why is CVS the most expensive store for no reason?
Hey gang of ribald comedy enthusiasts, this week’s Phrase that pays is, “Was Meat vaxxed?”
Update: Lonzo Ball is still unable to sprint.
Michael Holley talking about Bill’s hubris is incredible.
Watched a college game tonight with Drew Carter on the call and he’s a billion times better when he’s not giggling and jerking Scalabrine off.
Lemon trees don’t make a sound, ’til branches bend and fruit falls to the ground, baby, Sweet baby.
Swayman with more rebounds than Carrie Bradshaw.
Does everyone remember that one day like seven years ago when we thought male rompers were gonna be a thing and everyone did the funniest tweets about it? Best day in Twitter history.
India will never make a World Cup in soccer.
We were at the beach. Everybody had matching towels. Somebody went under a dock, And there they saw a rock. It wasn’t a rock’ It was a rock lobster!
Rock lobster!
Rock lobster!
Rock lobster. Rock lobster.
You ever get to the bottom of a bag of coffee grounds and realize you have no idea what this one specifically tastes like? Couldn’t pick that flavor from a lineup. Drank it exhausted for two weeks, don’t think I noticed what I was drinking once. Forgettable. It was just…coffee.
Hey @PFF, it looks like you have the Steelers and Rams reversed in Round 2 of your mock draft simulator (unless I’m missing something)
Damian Lillard is a huge loser who NBA fans treat like Kobe because he stayed in Portland longer than expecting before forcing his way out. I understand that NBA fans are by and large the vapidest dummies on earth but Christ. He’s never won shit and he comes off as a whiny little bitch. Play basketball and then go home and play video games with no financial worries? He’s living the life of a ten-year-old. Dame time.
I’ve never seen a single person inside a Mattress Firm.
My favorite thing about having a cat is when I come home we just softly scream at each other for an hour like sometimes us girlies just need to eckkk I think this is why my mom loves my cat so much too.
Fun Fact: the Bruins have Olympia Ice Resurfacers. First NHL team to own a Zamboni, first NHL team to get rid of Zamboni.
I don’t think I can ever leave Boston again because on any given weekday I can text my parents “what’s the move” like we’re frat brothers and they’ll actually respond with a move.
Full moons are one of life’s simple pleasures. They sneak up on you and they’re awesome.
Honk if you remember the final episode of M*A*S*H.
We are heartbroken to report that Flaco the Eurasian Eagle-Owl has died after an apparent collision with a building on West 89th Street in Manhattan.
Johnny Miller thinks Sean McAdam looks terrible.
Leap Day is the perfect time to end the overtime game streak, Bruins. Think about it.
Years back I ran into Don Rickles at Foxwoods and said hi. He made fun of me. Perfect celebrity interaction.
If the NWSL had pro/rel the USWNT would have beaten Mexico.
A: Zibby Puleio.
The Dynasty is the Star Trek V of Patriots documentaries.
Wait, full moons don’t sneak up on you; they happen on a regular and predictable basis.
Arguing that a player should be in the Hall of Fame because he is better than the worst mistake from the past is like arguing that I ate some spoiled fruit yesterday, so I should eat some more spoiled fruit today.
In sports!
B- for coach was the highest grade on the Patriots NFLPA report card. Belichick, owning.
Have more awards shows.
Best bet for the weekend: Celtics keep the win streak alive.
Flaco. Breathtaking, but sadly not elite.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Sixty, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Roam if you want to. Roam around the world.
And happy birthday to actress Ali Larter, who will always be Allegra Coleman to me.
The 15 