3/27/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer
Bruins with the spirited comeback in the face of adversity against a playoff bound Florida squad. You love to see it.
Jaylen always presses during Ramadan. They’ll be fine.
“Brings a lot of energy” is what you say when someone isn’t very talented.
I’m hearing whispers the Patriots were in on Jordan Montgomery.
Imagine losing a 4-leg parlay because the team you take on the money line blows a 30-POINT lead! I might blame it on my interpreter.
Robert Kraft saying adding a daycare to Gillette is an easy fix has real George Costanza claiming credit for designing the addition to the Guggenheim Museum energy.
Cakes are cooking for Tony Banks, Bobby Lalonde, Thomas Wassberg, Andrew Farriss, Ed Pinckney, Quentin Tarantino, Randall Cunningham, Xusa, Mariah Carey, Kirby Dar Dar, Fergie, Michael Cuddyer, Manuel Neuer, Buster Posey, Brenda Song, Jessie J, Kimbra, and Lalisa.
Coach Mayo is the Lourdes of verbal crutches.
I loved the old days when we didn’t know anything about athletes except the factoids you could glean from the backs of baseball cards- “In the off-season Harmon Killebrew enjoys hunting and fishing.”
Mike Greenberg crying because the Celtics lost on his birthday makes it a good loss.
So Ohtani found his former interpreter’s actions to be, uh, inscrutable?
Malcolm Butler would not have been cuffed & stuffed in Rhode Island if Bill had traded him to Seattle.
Orange Line Update: The work for Sunday, March 31, has been cancelled. Shuttle Buses will replace service between Forest Hills and Ruggles on Saturday, March 30, only.
There’s no candy more festive than an Easter bunny made of chocolate.
The NE Revolution have two Gils, which makes them amphibious.
If you put cayenne pepper in your bird feeders you won’t get squirrels and things (I know this sounds mortgage-free Western Mass as shit but it works)
Yet Boston still in more ways than one is home where my heart is.
Well you know just what you do to me.
The way you move soft and slippery.
Cut the night just like a razor.
Rarely talk and that’s the danger.
It’s the one thing.
You are my thing.
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Those sunglasses look like they’re made of Spanx.”
Turns out little people have a short fuse.
Hip Drop Tackle? Was that the Cherry Poppin Daddies disappointing follow-up to Zoot Suit Riot?
Unless you watch the Red Sox regularly, it is impossible to explain how funny it is to watch Rafael Devers. He’s just unconsciously funny all the time.
Kicked it on NBA Today and Malika actually wasn’t in a pants suit. Would’ve lost that bet.
Yesterday was the worst thing to happen to Francis Scott Key since Carl Lewis. I hope the missing workers are ok.
Quality Iranian nougat is phenomenal.
Mars rules sports and athletics and competition. Caitlin Clark is an Aries Mars, which checks out when you hear her talk about getting kicked out of PE class as a child for being too competitive.
Bored of the life in the city of gold
He’d left and let nobody know
Gone were the towers he had known from a child
Alone with the dream of a life
He travelled the wide open road
The blinkered arcade
In search of another to share in his life.
Nowhere
Everyone looked so strange to him.
They’ve got no horns and they’ve got no tail
They don’t even know of our existence.
Am I wrong to believe in a city of gold?
That lies in the deep distance, he cried.
An awful lot had to break just right for UMass Men’s Hockey to back into the Tourney. Best of luck to them.
Honk if you remember Russell Stover premium pectin jelly beans.
How come when you ask a bartender to change the channel on the TV they look at you weird? Like, I’m asking you to press a button on a remote, not split an atom.
If you roll the ball in bounds it should be an automatic turnover.
The poor overworked WEEI Show Staff Picture graphics department.
The Red Sox; they might surprise.
Jake Rosenberg, salary cap executive and GM Howie Roseman’s longtime aide, is leaving the Philadelphia Eagles.
Oh look, Don Orsillo making a death about him.
I liked Keith Tkachuk but his kids are entitled assholes.
Mister Kraft misspoke when he said ‘girlfriend.’ He of course meant, ‘baby mama.’
Best bet for the weekend: Huskies. Not just a Toughskins size anymore.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Laszlo Panaflex, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Drank!
And happy Birthday to actress Elizabeth Mitchell and her versatile smirk, who you might remember from ‘Lost.” Or for other reasons.
The 15 