The 15

I hope you set aside some of Week One’s winnings to buy some treats for Football Cat!

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME
49ers – 5 vs Vikings Brock Purrrrrdy and the prospectors plunder the Vikings

Chargers -5 vs Panthers Black cats can’t help crossing their own path, get zapped by Chargers.

Colts -2.5 vs Packers Horsies stomp the Meat Men into the unfrozen tundra of Lambeau Field.

Giants vs Commanders -1.5 Pituitaries pound Pol Pots.

Saints vs Cowboys -6 Jerry Jones and his many illegitimate children must have had a good laugh after reading that article about Rub-and-Tug Robert’s Hall of Fame struggles. Jerry’s good time keeps rolling.

Browns vs Jaguars -3 Spotty cats devour the mystical fairyland sprites.

Jets -3.5 vs Titans My father Bert Bell tells me that in 1959 this would have been a match-up between the “Titans of New York” and the “Oilers of Houston”. Much like Lucy will ultimately outlast Taylor, the original Tits triumph over the new Tits.

Buccaneers vs Lions -7.5 Jungle Kings feast on pirate patellas.

Raiders vs Ravens -9 Scary birds don’t break a sweat.

Seahawks -3.5 vs Patriots Good thing mean old Bill is gone, otherwise he’d inexplicably replace Malcom Butler as honorary lighthouse keeper at the last minute – with no explanation! WTF! The Mayo-noise will be earsplitting after the Patriots start 2-0.

SUNDAY DINNERTIME
Rams vs Cardinals -1 Male sheep stomp pretty red birds.

Bengals vs Chiefs -5.5 Stripey cats get their first win of the season at Burrowhead.

Steelers -2.5 vs Broncos Men of Steel can’t handle the thin air. The mile high horses run wild.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME
Bears vs Texans -6.5 After the he messes with Texas, Calib Williams will be left in tears, seeking solace in the loving embrace of his mother’s arms.

MONDAY PROWLTIME
Falcons vs Eagles -6.5 I love watching birds fight! The American birds prevail and the losers gets in my belly!

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.