Our long national nightmare of Katie Nolan not being on TV is over.
The Seminoles got wicked Sturrowed! #lol
Jarren Duran being the only guy to not tap out is quite the 180 from two years ago.
Jerod sooo wanted to wear a C as a player.
Johnny Gaudreau seemed to be too nice a guy to have gone to BC. Very sad.
My fantasy football draft strategy? Just vibes.
Cakes are cooking for Ken Harrelson, Ray Floyd, Tom Watson, Martin Chambers, Blackie Lawless, Khandi Alexander, George Hurley, Damon Wayans, John Vanbiesbrouck, Tomas Sandström, Mike Piazza, Ione Skye, Wes Bentley, Pat Neshek, Beyoncé, Hildur Guðnadóttir, Kaillie Humphries, and Olha Kharlan.
Additionally, Brother John Irons is also entitled to a cake today.
Red Line Reminder: September 6-29 No Train service between JFK/UMass and Braintree due to track work. Commuter Rail alternatives are available. Shuttle buses will not service JFK/UMass.
What made you think Jaylen got hacked? Weird tweets?
Hard to believe a health nut like (checks notes) Fatman Scoop just collapsed like that. RIP.
I need to know who the IU and Purdue are of the ACC.
The most effective fly swatter I have ever tried is a rolled-up bath towel. The hitting surface is like ten times larger than fly swatter, and it tends to stun them without smashing them and creating little blood spots.
Do you guys remember how fun it used to be to ask questions?
Hey gang of accountability experts! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “a frustrated Rafael Devers sat with a bat for about 40 minutes staring into his locker.”
Triston Casas exists within a vibe and the vibeless cannot stand him for it.
Who is your personal favorite San Diego Padres prospect who never really made it? Someone who never reached Majors or never got much opportunity to play. I’ll go with Dennis Tankersley. So close to Eck! Had to root for him. But he did nothing to earn more opportunity.
Every time Joe Furey is on TV it seems like the first time ever.
Maybe the racially ambiguous bull dykes shouldn’t goon up on the nice white lady? Just a thought.
Brian Kelly looks like a general contractor that’s always bringing you bad news.
Count me among the Tiafoe fans. Love the way he plays tennis.
Sometimes, in a quiet moment, I’ll be listening to the cicadas, and I’ll get lost in thought and remember that the Boston Celtics won the 2024 NBA Finals and have the most titles in NBA history.
Now look at the people In the streets, in the bars We are all of us in the gutter Some of us are looking at the stars Look ’round the room Life is unkind We fall but we keep gettin’ up Over and over and over…
Me and you, every night, every day. We’ll be together always this way. Your eyes are blue like the heavens above. Talk to me darlin’, with a message of love.
Denver Broncos and two-time Pro-Bowl CB Patrick Surtain ll reached agreement today on a four-year, $96 million extension that includes $77.5 million guaranteed, now making him the highest-paid defensive back in NFL history. Tory Dandy of CAA negotiated the deal.
Katie Nolan won’t stop until she’s fired from every sports outlet in North America.
Franklin Park Zoo lights: Super cool.
The current condition of Ponkapoag must have Donald Ross rolling around in his grave.
Taylor Mathis doesn’t realize she could walk around reading the ingredients for raisins and her followers would not give a hoot. Not one hoot.
Honk if you remember Tom Tupa scoring the first 2-point conversion in NFL history.
Oh yeah, Chris Gasper. There’s your answer.
News Item: Former Patriots wide receiver Danny Amendola joining ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
When selling a home, I tell all my clients, “Hide your Fluff.”
Except for hockey, the C on the jersey always triggers me. It was so lame when Varitek wore it, and the NFL gays it up another level with the stars, always loved that Bill wouldn’t allow it. It’s just another reminder how the Kraft’s are hellbent on distancing themselves from the greatest coach of all time. Complete loser asshole behavior.
Chris Sale was doing his best impression of Eric Idle in European Vacation last year and now he’s pitching like a gentile Koufax.
Best bet for the weekend: Tennessee Volunteer Charles Davis handling Tennessee Volunteer Jerod Mayo with kid gloves during Sunday’s broadcast.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Lebron and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Message of love.
(Dear The15net dot com Wicked Pissah Beantown Chowderheads Platinum Elite Members; Here is the musical playlist for your Labor Day weekend enjoyment, now back on its even-numbered year release schedule. Assorted Songs of Work and Toil, Songs of Celebration & Songs of Summer’s Departing. Click HERE to download.)
The Chicken Washer Blues – Seve Providenza
Whistle While You Work – Doris Burke
Jarren Can You Hear Me? – The Wu (From the Wok Opera concept album)
Tainted Pool – Carny & the Shysters
I Line Up Wrong (Then Line Up Wrong Again) – Chukwuma
Bananic Monday – The Camgles
No shirt, no source, no problem – Gabby Starr
Working 9 to 9:05 – Yeho Shua
Dog is Good Food – Not Dead Kennedys
Jerod’s OPTUM Eyes – CRIS-Zero
Main Theme to ‘Oi! Yer Mum’s an Ironmonger!’ – Smush
Permanent Vacation – Dork Brandon
F-F-F-Flipping Burgers – Gresh
I ran my boyfriend over with my Lexus – Karen Read
Hammertime – Robyn G.
I Kissed A Girl (Allegedly) – Kendra Middleton
Not Workin’ for a Livin’ – Greg Dickerson and the Old News
Robot Caddy – Big Doxxing Manny
Bang the Replies All Day – Steve (R)undrgren
I Disappear – Deplorable Kenny
Walking on Broken Glass Eyeballs – Annie Mooreside
Pumpkin Spice SZN – Average White Girl
Sign The Butchie (He’s a Right-Hand Bat) – Murph & the Magic Chefs
Money For Nothing -Gabby Starrs
A Rock Hard Day’s Night -The Beaters
Don’t Stop Bleav-ing and such – Shukrey
The Boy With the Busted Taillight in His Side – The Reads
Forty Six and 2 Dozen Eggs- HillBHLy Elegy
Mac Daddio – Half Miles Davis
Woman Is the My Man of the World – Chibbs and the Bof Fri Fleu
Pickleball NIMBYS – Swellesley Falmouth
Starch Flim-Flam – Red Spud & the Nutmeggers
The Lost Trophy Blues – Walter & Isobel
Rich Girl – Gabby and Starr
Take This Job Application and Shove It – Gregory Dickerson Coe
Gas Station Squadoosh – Mollusk
96 Meniscus Tears – …??? & the Mysterions, idiot
Swiss Cheese Umbrella – Lemonbags
Pancakes! – Li’l Skillet
Exotic Pets – Salamander Dander
Maggie’s Farm – Frank O’Harris’s Provisional Irish Republican Army Choir
Outside In – Wavering Trillburys
Deer Come Out of Nowhere (When You’re Doing Belly Shots Alone) – Das EFX and INXS (with Wreckx-N-Effect)
(Have a song suggestion? Or a compliment? Leave it in the comments!)
I hope everyone on the newly minted Patriots 53-man roster creates some SMART goals so we can track their progress during the season.
Hit that shtick-pilfering hussy with your wallet, Lucy!
Is it me, or was there less local media celebrating going on after Cutdown Day arrived so soon after WEEI axed Fauria and Gresh?
I don’t think the Red Sox are gonna make the playoffs.
Well, at least we can continue to read all of Meghan Ottolini’s columns!
I think Dave O’Brien just said ‘excape.’
Who confuses Hanson and Chumbawumba?
Welcome back, teachers.
Cakes are cooking for Lou Piniella, Ron Guidry, Daniel Stern, Rick Rossovich, Scott Hamilton, Emma Samms, Jennifer Coolidge, Rick Fehr, Lee Janzen, Satoshi Tajiri, Tom Fitzgerald, Jack Black, Pierre Turgeon, Janet Evans, Todd Eldredge, Jay Witasick, LeAnn Rimes, Armie Hammer, Florence Welch, and Ons Jabeur.
So, the Sox clam broadcast the other night? Perfect timing as the team was gushing blood everywhere.
Orange Line Reminder: Between 10 AM and 2 PM all Orange Line service between Forest Hills and Jackson Square will operate on the Oak Grove (Northbound) track. Riders should expect delays between 9 AM and 4 PM as personnel conduct this single track operation.
Hey gang of dubious eventual sexagenarians! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “It’s not that complicated to figure out.”
Joe Milton III could have played on those 2014-2015 Royals teams where everyone threw 101.
“Suck on” violations aren’t a thing.
Most, if not all, aspiring rappers never achieve the complete life turnaround. Kudos to Chyna Whyte, or whoever.
Any of them starting left tackles get waived yet? Not yet? How about now?
Gresh has a very interesting quirk in his contract. Instead of the standard non-compete, they gave him a ‘please sign with the competitor’ clause.
Wanamatonomy was the hardest class I took in college, much more difficult than Neuroanatomy.
Bots write SI articles. You’re thanking a computer, Donny O!
Liking werewolf tweets isn’t a funny troll anymore. It’s providing Aid and Comfort to the Enemy.
Incredible but true! Ted Williams never once in his entire career had a timer violation called against him.
Best job in the industry is the guy who does all the imaging for the new shows that WEEI throws out there. Guaranteed jackpot of work every few months.
Introduce me to that big blonde. She’s got a touch of Tuesday Weld. She’s wearing Ambush and a French twist; She’s got us wild and she can tell. She loves to limbo, that much is clear; She’s got the right dynamic for the new frontier.
Wait Cheryl Hines is married to RFK Jr.? How did I miss this?
Roster cutdown reminder number 7 – Players on the team 4PM September 3rd get paid for Week 1. Making the initial roster on August 27th does not mean the player will get paid for Week 1.
Lou Damn Merloni fucking tries to retcon himself onto the ‘04 team.
Sid Vicious the wrestler won’t be down. Sid Vicious from the Sex Pistols? Also still dead. Wrestling Sid staying in character during the Shockmaster’s debut may be one of wrestling’s greatest achievements. RIP.
Angel Reese and Shaquille O’Neal. Like equals!
They discontinued my TGel? Just because of some alleged dioxins?
So the one thing I do miss about pre-parenthood life is going to dinner by myself Finding a well-researched Wikipedia article and just diving in while waiting for and consuming my food. Great times in the back booth reading about Stalingrad, or Dan Sickles.
Jarren Duran now has 42 doubles, 13 triples, 20 HR and 32 stolen bases. No other player in the history of baseball has done all of those things in one season.
Taxachusetts! Belichick: He’s just like one of us!
Next month marks one year since WWE signed Jade Cargill.
Honk if you remember Cla Meredith.
In the falls of justice, the only justice is in the falls. Sandy, can we get that on a magnet?
WEEI is paying Andy Hart in Lucky Charms.
Shouldn’t losing a baseball announcer be an error rather than a fumble?
Sign The Swayman!
World Health Organization reporting Zappe Fever has been eradicated.
Best bet for the weekend: the heaviest travel weekend yet.
What’s wrong with Ordillo thanking the SI writer Bots?
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friends jforb and Lebron, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Dog days are over.
And happy birthday to Canadian singer Shania Twain.
Did Mayor Wu ever get that meeting with Jarren Duran?
Crazy that Andy Hart’s kid is pulling in his dad’s biweekly salary in a single weekend.
Happy Hour’s overdue return to the Commonweath shot down yet again? Another W for the Puritans.
A certain percentage of fans are going to treat WAR as a reliable estimate of a player’s value, no matter how obvious it is that it is wrong.
Adam 12, Deathcat Holley. Deathcat Holley, Adam 12.
The International Olympic Committee wants Jordan’s Chiles bronze medal back? Molṑn labé.
Veronica Burton…TD Garden, ten minutes court time, two rebounds, one assist. Zero points on 0 for 4 shooting…your thoughts?
I’m going to give Bedard the benefit of the doubt. It’s clear he meant to say, “Nip Cage is a goof.”
Cakes are cooking for Archie Griffin, Kim Cattrall, Kim Sledge, Jim McMahon, Carrie-Anne Moss, Josee Chouinard, Craig Counsell, Alicia Witt, Jason Marquis, Kelis Rogers-Jones, BJ Upton, Eve Torres, Laura Haddock, Usain Bolt, Kacey Musgraves, Hayden Panettiere, and Bo Burnham.
Love the idea that talking gambling while bouncing your your titties is some sort of intellectual property that needs protecting.
Hey gang of deck chair rearrangers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I don’t need to know anything about the radio losers’ lifestyles.”
I’m sure Bloomberg’s AM signal is already one of the 14 stations beating Jones and MegO, but will they really have more listeners than good old American rock n roll?
‘Keep off the moors and stick to the roads’ was the best advice I ever got in life.
Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.
Angel Reese has officially signed a sponsorship deal with Reese’s. Her first “Reese’s Pieces” apparel collection launches today.
Mayo’s “I have impostor syndrome” article from 2021 is a “boy did I outkick my coverage, hahaha!” humblebrag.
A “blend of lifestyle entertainment?” That should give Joansie the ratings he got at The Sports Hub with F&M as his lead-in.
I don’t care how many times you email me about it, I do not want two free weeks of Uber One.
If I’m Michelle Wu, I’m demanding a sit-down with Eliot Wolf right now.
Just saw a Dairy Queen commercial where they’re eating the Blizzards at home. Unless you live right next to the DQ this is a bad idea they melt fast in transit.
A fan with very poor sense of humor yelled “You need a tennis racket” with Duran at the plate Friday. Comedic value? 0 out of 10.
Fun Fact: Everett is not in Boston.
Spencer Torkelson would be a great name for a Professor of Paleontology. That is all.
Lifestyle and entertainment? What’s Keefe gonna do, talk about his Funko Pop collection?
Naming a cat Dr. Doom is great. But it’s especially great when the vet tech announces “Dr. Doom?” in a waiting room.
I only do my banking at Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg Bank.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone.
Lord, we don’t need another meadow. There are cornfields and wheat fields Enough to grow. There are sunbeams and moonbeams Enough to shine. Oh listen Lord, if you want to know.
Frogger is an interesting game because at the highest level of play it’s possible to reach a board that’s not solvable, ending your game. It’s not a true kill screen, however, because with proper strategy that scenario can be avoided.
Two deep throws so far, two completions from Jordan Love to Romeo Doubs. The connection is real and has the potential to be spectacular.
Pochettino? Sounds delicious! Is it something a gaucho chuckwagon makes?
Honk if you remember Rick & Paul Reuschel becoming the first brothers to pitch a combined shut out.
The Pope doesn’t even have a rain gauge in the Vatican FFS.
I know more than a few people who would consider a standard big watermelon to be ‘personal sized.’
Golf swings and fantasy zings: Steve is a pop culture poster!
Oh sure, MegO, she’s obviously the problem. The least-smarmy of the three hosts.
The right Jennifer is out there for you Ben Affleck! Probably.
Maybe making someone other than a sullen, unpatriotic, cigar store Indian-looking player the face of the WNBA was a good thing.
Best bet for the weekend: Red Sox hang tough.
Shu’s angry TikTok thumbnails all look like the last thing Tony Mazz sees before someone steals his car.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Gresh? Fauria?
And happy birthday to Czech tennis player Karolína Muchová.
The Sox tapping out every year immediately after the All-Star game is so weird.
Matthew Judon sat on a trash can watching pass-rushers practice? Doesn’t he know they put a PlayStation in the locker room??
“It’s not based on The Last Supper, but rather on an obscure Dutch painting from the 17th century!” has real, “We didn’t name our candy bar after the most famous baseball player in America in 1920, but after the dead daughter of a former President!” energy.
There’s a macabre subset of Celtics Twitter that loves talking about how long Len Bias and Reggie Lewis have been dead.
El Prez can’t claim the child tax credit for his girlfriend?
The US men’s basketball team and the US women’s beach volleyball team are both wearing long spandex pants. Disapprove!
Cakes are cooking for Gerry Philbin, Sab Shimono, Bill Weld, Barry Van Dyke, Evonne Goolagong Cawley, Alan Autry, Michael Biehn, Bill Berry, Mark Cuban, Dale Hunter, Sandra Hodge, Wesley Snipes, Fatboy Slim, J.K. Rowling, Andre Ware, Chris Weinke, Jonathan Ogden, Tim Couch, Zac Brown, B.J. Novak, DeMarcus Ware, Evgeni Malkin, and Kyle Larson.
Here’s the thing: There’s only so many plays one can run on offense in team handball.
@Dart_Adams Donna Summer: from Dorchester or Mission Hill? Always thought Dot but heard/read MH somewhere.
Hey gang of Volvik users, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Are you fucking Caleb Williams?”
Why does Steve Kerr hate Tyrese Halliburton?
Green Line Update: Regular service has resumed between Heath Street and Brigham Circle.
What a stupid ritual wakes are. Gonna kneel in front of this rotting corpse filled with formaldehyde and pray to an old guy in the sky. Totally normal! Free Jacks won their playoff game.
Overheard at #The15 water cooler: “Dude, this gash football game is kinda tense!”
Great to see Dorchester gal Ayo Edebiri kicking ass onscreen with Robert Townsend in S3 of “The Bear”, 37 years after his iconic movie Hollywood Shuffle.
Oh good; water polo has VAR too.
The Call Her Daddy whore should ask Simone if the trainer made her squirt.
Next Olympics: Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Oh wow, Don Orsillo called a Padres no-hitter? I’m sure he’ll never tell us about it.
Anyone know the medal count?
We got on the ol’ Ouija Board to try and contact the restless spirit of Red Sox Poet Laureate Dick Flavin to see if he’d honor us with a timely poem. Here’s what we got:
“Detox Day is a movable feast,
When you need it the most or need it the least.
When your mouth is so dry you can’t even spit,
Or when your overtaxed liver is ready to quit.
Those will be days are the, the days..”
It goes on and on like that.
Duquette’s dumbest idea, that Karen Read is innocent or Wilfredo Cordero?
That can only mean Theo Epstein will be the one to come in and actually free Karen.
And the train conductor says, Take a break, Driver 8. Driver 8, take a break, We can reach our destination. But we’re still a ways away, but it’s still a ways away. But we’re still a ways away, but it’s still a ways away.
A way to shield the hated heat. A way to put myself to sleep. A way to shield the hated heat. A way to put myself, my children to sleep.
Savannah Guthrie always has a look on her face like she just asked, ‘You want to put what where?’
The US women’s gymnastics team is like a Benetton ad.
Tatum getting stapled to the bench was the worst act of terrorism ever involving a member of the Kerr family.
Yes, Ma: I heard about the deli meat recall.
TITTPT.
The Patriots reward another one of their own: The team and Davon Godchaux have agreed to a two-year extension worth up to $21M with $16.5M guaranteed. The deal was done by Drew Rosenhaus, Jason Rosenhaus and Ryan Matha.
Wait, there’s men’s field hockey?
RB Aaron Jones should have plenty of opportunities earlier for Minnesota.
Honk if you remember Jimmer Fredette.
Has there ever been a team like the 2024 Yankees before? I’ve never seen one. It’s like Maris and Mantle were traded to the 1962 Mets.
Hey guys, that’s Lenny DiNardo! *blank stares*
Try harder to make us like you Coach Mayo. It’s going to happen. Soon.
That Aussie RugbyRoo Sevens gal almost ran down Spiff Cedrick like Ben Watson did Champ Bailey.
My grade on the Revs trade? Um, incomplete?
Imagine having a problem with Simone Biles. (Gerry Callahan not eligible)
Tough loss, Renegades.
Best bet for the weekend: Judon gets neither a bag or his flowers.
Le Festin des Dieux – Jan van Bijlert OK, I can kinda see it.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Citius, Altius, Fortius – Communiter.
And happy birthday to American model Chandra North.
Kenley Jansen has an irregular heartbeat? What a coincidence; so do I, when I see him come in from the bullpen! Bwahahahaha!
Sam Hauser, getting paid like he owns a suburban daycare center.
Coors Field features two of my favorite Stupid Cool Things in baseball: The forest in center field, and the row of purple seats to denote one mile above sea level.
Imagine going to Duluth and your first thought is to ask Big Gym about it.
Can’t help but be distracted by a TBS game broadcast using a TNT Sports graphics package.
Aaron Rodgers, reporting for duty on reporting day.
Cakes are cooking for Ruth Buzzi, Bob Lily, Dan Hedaya, Robert Hays, Michael Richards, Lynda Carter, Gus Van Sant, Steve Grogan, Robbie Grey, Paul Geary, Julie Krone, Karl Malone, Barry Bonds*, Nick Nurse, Kristin Chenoweth, Jennifer Lopez, Rick Fox, Patty Jenkins, Danny Dyer, José Valverde, Rose Byrne, Valerio Scassellati, Summer Glau, Anna Paquin, Elisabeth Moss, Patrice Bergeron, and Kyle Kuzma.
Orange Line: Trains may travel at reduced speeds or stand by at stations while maintenance personnel conduct track inspections. Then again, they may not.
Am I un-American if I was rooting for South Sudan?
Been saying Bolt is the most dominant athlete for a long time now…..put some respect on Usain Bolt name.
I don’t think anybody under 40 can throw a frisbee.
Kirk Herbstreit announces new show featuring his dog Ben? The seize and decyst from Mina Kimes and Lenny is on the way! Woof.
Hammer dulcimer!
The multipart BET “Rap City” docuseries was a slap in the face to its longtime viewers. It covered almost NOTHING about why “Rap City” was groundbreaking, essential, or necessary from its inception on August 11th, 1989. I’ll write about it because I remember damb near everything!
I ain’t calling some other grown man ‘McLovin.’
Don’t you just love the pomp and pageantry of the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, Craig? I really do.
OK, trust falls, then the breakout sesh!
Gees, the COVID bubble champs regardless of the sport are sensi and salty.
Poor people always find time to fuck.
Hearing whispers Jonathan Jones had a nice first day of camp. He finished with two pass breakups.
Your New England Free Jacks need a win Saturday to reach the MLR Finals!
The 1901 Detroit Tigers had only one regular or near-regular player who went by and is listed today by his actual first name or a common derivative of that. No less than 3 of their regulars went by the monicker “Kid”. The others were called “Sport”, “Ducky”, “Doc”, “Pop” and “Fritz.”
Moving forward, using all my breath. Making love to you was never second best. I saw the world crashing all around your face. Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace.
I’ll stop the world and melt with you. You’ve seen the difference, and it’s getting better all the time. There’s nothing you and I won’t do. I’ll stop the world and melt with you.
Summer in Boston meant the TV lineup changed. Suddenly, channel 25 added “The Monkees” to the lineup & channel 66 added “Gidget” starring a young Sally Field. Next came the “Creature Double Feature”, “Kung Fu Theater” & Frankie Avalon/Annette Funicello film marathons all Summer.
I made over 100 grand working construction every year Biden was President.
Am I supposed to root against the US Olympic Team because MLS doesn’t have promotion and relegation?
Not even a mention of Klobuchar as a potential VP pick. But that aint a problem for us Klob Slobs, we’re patient folk.
Jerod Mayo is going to re-injure something with all the false hustle he’s putting out.
Honk if you remember the Pine Tar Game.
Was just thinking the other day it’s been forever since I saw a frog in my yard and then yesterday, boom! A tree frog out on the porch. Nature, uh, finds a way.
Commander Biden tried to warn us about the Secret Service.
Going to miss seeing that tall girl play the Olympic 3 on 3 basketball.
Jackie Connors. Now an Eternal Eagle. RIP.
The Sports Junk Drawer turned into MSNBC so gradually no one even noticed. #LeanForward
Best bet for the weekend: Red Sox determine whether they will be buyers or sellers at the MLB trade deadline.
Zesty drip! Mothers, lock up your daughters!
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Here comes the night.
BdlG in Gucci, which is not an official sponsor of the 2024 Paris Olympic Games.
Are you now a member of the Patriots coaching staff? Are you sure? Check your emails.
The MLB ASG was very Red Sox intensive. As it should be.
Doubtless everyone in Jamaica Plain was rooting for the Fila-sponsored Barbora Krejcikova, to win Wimbledon, right?
If you can’t use a hammer correctly, sailing might not be your thing either.
MLB Draft: 9 of the first 21 players selected in the first round are Black players. #Diversity
Spaniards must be partying like it’s 1799 with the Euro Cup win and Alcaraz as the Wimbledon Men’s champ.
Ingrid Andress is going to rehab? This is going to ruin the tour.
Bedtime at 8:30 is delightful, sorree!
Cakes are cooking for Dick Button, Tenley Albright, Paul Verhoeven, Dion DiMucci, Joe Torre, Craig Fuller, Richard Branson, Nick Faldo, Elizabeth McGovern, Wendy Williams, Dan O’Brien, Vin Deisel, Anfernee Hardaway, Bruce Walker, Torii Hunter, Elsa Pataky, Ben Sheets, Dion Branch, Kristin Bell, Priyanka Chopra, and Canelo Alvarez.
Fun Fact: ‘Kysre’ is pronounced. ‘kaiser!’
Watching some Nets/Cavs from 1993 and Paolo Banchero reminds me so much of Derrick Coleman.
My grass is so brown Gerry Callahan is throwing rocks at it.
Tough loss at Wimbledon, but at least Jasmine Paolini now gets to go back to The Shire and marry Sam Gamgee.
Three monocle emojis can sometimes mean, ‘I’m happy for my Celtics teammate’, right?
Green Line B and C branch trains are currently terminating at Park Street due to a track problem at Government Center. For service to Boston College or Cleveland Circle from Government Center, board any train and switch at Park Street.
Greg Dickerson: “Is it bad that I’m insanely jealous of the hawk tuah girl? I just want fame and fortune for living life with no talent.” Sad!
Does Dave O’Brien even like his job? Guy should be conducting estate sales.
Red Sox drafted David Ortiz’s son, D’Angelo, in the 19th round. The Yankees will literally never know peace.
My “for you” tab is all fight vids and videos of animals you wouldn’t think would be friends, but are.
Jeff Howe thinks Dickie V. should stop showboating.
Hey gang of insecure phenoms! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’m not afraid of you or your resources.”
BattleBots!
Uh, Dakota Fannings breakout role was in I Am Sam, 3 roles before Man on Fire.
Looking at Shakira is always a treat but once again who asks for music at a sporting event?
No better way to prove you’re definitely not jealous or bothered by criticism than to make another tweet about it a day later.
This Week’s Bill Simmons Mad Libs: “Is Jamie Lee Curtis the Eli Manning of her generation?”
Anybody with the last Campbell is called Soupy or Soup.
Jarren Duran joins Yaz, Roger, Pedro, and JD Drew as Red Sox All Star Game MVP winners.
Chanting at sporting events is like verbally holding hands with other guys.
Two absolutely fantastic rookie pitchers this year, Skenes and Miller. When was the last time we had two rookies like that in one year?
I can see why you think you belong to me. I never tried to make you think or let you see one thing for yourself. But now you’re off with someone else and I’m alone. You see I thought that I might keep you for my own.
Amie, what you wanna do? I think I could stay with you, For a while, maybe longer if I do.
News Item: Bill Belichick to join the cast of The CW’s ‘Inside the NFL’ The CW still exists? Is it on after ‘Gossip Girl?’
Bro, you need to get to Comerica.
What happens if you say ‘Klutch Sports Group’ five times in a mirror?
I’ve seen D’Angelo Ortiz play a few times. Good approach, works the count. Table-setter at Miami Dade. Smart player, too. He worked hard and played two years of juco. Nothing glamorous there, just bus rides and ball.
What a bizarre culture we’ve created where the third wheel on a hockey podcast feels the need to tell us he’s laying off the benzos.
Honk if you remembered to watch the ESPY’s.
Gaylord Perry would have liked that ‘Hawk Tuah’ gal.
Well at least the fans from the South American countries didn’t live down to stereotypes and low expectations in the Copa.
Third Eye Blind can pack ’em in at Great Woods and 50 Cent can’t? We truly live in an odd odd time in history.
Kayla Burton, Steve’s kid, NBC Sports Boston. Your thoughts?
Hillbilly Elegy is a prime day deal $7.45. I Am due for a next book to read and heard it was good.
Aloha means ‘goodbye.’ Aloha, Gregg Berhalter.
Now you can’t stream to Twitter unless you’re a “Premium Member?” Thanks for making it tougher to survive as a content creator, Elon.
Best bet for the weekend: high drama at Royal Troon.
Jaylen. Kysre. Cute couple of hoopers.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Modified limited hiatus?
And happy birthday to pale British actress Kelly Reilly.
Surveying the landscape, the ramifications of the second apron now in full effect; the restrictions and penalties are onerous and assist only the greediest and cheapest owners. Until circumstances change it is safe to assume dynasties are impossible. The last five champions are in variations of turmoil.
• The Los Angeles Lakers are shackled to LeBron and his various whims, are deep in the red and have no real avenue to contend in a younger, more talented western conference. • Milwaukee could have won another title in the years 2019, 2020 and 2022 when the team around Giannis was younger and better. But Fred VanVleet had a baby, swung the east finals series for Toronto. Jimmy Butler emasculated Giannis in The Bubble. Khris Middleton got hurt and was never the same. Now they are capped out, fired a very good regular coach in Mike Budenholzer, are rudderless at the head coach position and only have 3 actual NBA players. • All Golden State needed to do was hit one just ONE of their lottery picks from 2020 and 2021 they wouldn’t be in this mess. James Wiseman, Jonathan Kuminga and Moses Moody could have easily been LaMelo Ball (I am not faulting them for not trading down for Tyrese Haliburton, nobody else did it), Franz Wagner or Alperen Sengun. Then they probably are able to get Paul George or Lauri Markkanen this summer instead of staring at the abyss of wasting the rest of Steph Curry’s career. • Denver should have repeated this past year, but as fate would have it blowing a 20-point lead in a home Game 7 was the toll price paid for last season’s success. Famously cheap owner Stan Kroenke let lynchpins Reggie Jackson and Kentavious Cardwell-Pope depart leaves Denver more vulnerable with an underwhelming bench and I’d go as far to say they have fallen a tier in my rankings. • And then there’s the sweet, beautiful boys in green… Wyc Grousbeck announced his intentions to sell and we’ll wait for the details to come, but if he hands the keys off to someone like Tillman Fertitta then we have to worry about cost cutting measures because someone rich enough to buy a professional basketball team didn’t have deep enough pockets to pay for it’s roster.
The NBA has become the NFL. Strangling dynasties in their cradle, turning the window of contention into a revolving door. In reality the window for title contenders are usually two measly years. The Celtics fortunately held on to nearly everyone from the title team; we’re still waiting to hear about Oshae Brissett and if there are any ring chasers looking for a spot.
Wrong aprons.
The draconian rules of the second apron have set the NBA on the course for potentially becoming Major League Baseball, undermining the bargaining power of the players by instituting harsh penalties for spending too much. If a player feels he isn’t being respected at the negotiating table because the team doesn’t want to enter the second apron, then what if the other teams he goes to share that same fear? This is what we’ll see unfold in the near future.
In this new era it is arguably preferable for a team like the Clippers to let Paul George walk for nothing, because now nothing is something. Nothing is a mid-level exception you can use to sign a free agent. Nothing is some much needed financial wiggle room that takes you out of the deep red and into a light shade of orange. Los Angeles could have traded George to Golden State for a solid, young player like Jonathan Kuminga and veteran backup point guard Chris Paul and chose not to. If this was 10-years ago the Clippers would admit defeat and look to reposition their aging roster in an advantageous position to sell for parts, garnering assets along the way.
Right now the Celtics are paying over $547 million for their championship roster. Having made Jayson Tatum the richest player in league history; surpassing his teammate Jaylen Brown who achieved this honor last summer. Speaking of which, his supermax officially kicks in this upcoming season, Tatum’s will in 2025-26. They’re over $66 million over the cap, $15 million above the first apron and are $5 million above the second.
The penalties for crossing the second apron are both Byzantine and draconian:
No signing exceptions Team becomes hard-capped at Second Apron by or can’t use/do: • Using Tax MLE • Aggregating two or more player salaries in a trade • Sending out cash in trade • Acquiring a player using a TPÈ that was created via a previous sign-and-trade • Can only: • Re-sign own free agents • Sign draft picks • Sign players to minimum contracts • Make trades where one player salary is sent out and equal or less salary comes back (can do a 1-for-2 or more trade
One doesn’t have to look to far to surmise the possible reason Wyc Grousbeck is selling his shares because when the bill comes due he wants no part of the aftermath and it’s not like pulling the plug now is an option. The Celtics are well worth their hefty salary and are poised to repeat in the minds of oddsmakers in Las Vegas. To preserve the runway now is to obliterate a proven near term future. Wyc will not do what Clay Bennett did to Oklahoma in 2012 and trade a star player just to duck the luxury tax.
However, when the Celtics do find themselves too far in the red it is safe to assume the ramifications will be ugly. This means potentially breaking up the Jays, either in a gut-wrenching trade where the Celtics pursue assets and cap relief rather than a “win-now” player, or a divorce similar to what Klay Thompson and the Warriors just went through. One side chasing another monumental pay day, and a withering dynasty consumed with apathy for one of its signature players.
But that’s all future Celtics problems. The hope I have is Wyc cares enough about the Celtics to not sell his shares in the immediate term and instead do it when the bill is coming due. It would be more profitable to sell now, give the team over to some cheap billionaire who’ll cry poor and in a year breaks the team down to spare parts. But maybe Wyc hangs on and lets Brad Stevens write the checks even if it decreases the value of the sale?
The pressure is on the Celtics, like it was this past season, to get the job done (again) and try to accomplish what would be the most impressive back-to-back championship in league history. There are plenty of reasons to assume it won’t happen, and a lot of them happen to be out of the Celtics control. This was the second straight playoffs where the championship team didn’t play a fifty-win team en route to the finals. Everything for the Celtics broke their way, and just like the 2015 Golden State Warriors made the most of their opportunities, you can expect the following playoffs to be more strenuous.
Of the last 9 teams to go back-to-back only one of them repeated with the same ease like they won in the first go-around.
1986-87 Lakers: 15-3
1987-88 Lakers: 15-9 (3 Game 7s!)
1988-89 Pistons: 15-2
1989-90 Pistons: 15-5
1990-91 Bulls: 15-2
1991-92 Bulls: 15-7
1993-1994 Rockets: 15-8
1994-1995 Rockets: 15-7
1995-96 Bulls: 15-3
1996-97 Bulls: 15-4
1999-00 Lakers: 15-8
2000-01 Lakers: 15-1
2008-09 Lakers: 16-7
2009-2010 Lakers: 16-7
2011-12 Heat: 16-7
2012-13 Heat: 16-7
2016-17 Warriors: 16-1
2017-18 Warriors: 16-5
⁃ 4 repeat champions where the difficulty on the back-half was comparable to the first part. ⁃ 1 repeat champion had an easier road to than the first time. ⁃ 4 repeat champions where the journey was harder on the back half.
We haven’t seen a repeat champion since Golden State. Every champion since fell into a decline two-years removed from their moment of triumph. Toronto nearly made the East Finals in 2020, then twiddled their thumbs as players like Kyle Lowry, Fred VanVleet and Pascal Siakam depreciated in value; Lowry and VanVleet leaving in free agency for nothing. The complacency bug bit their general manager Masai Ujiri.
LeBron’s Lakers won off the backs of two-way role players, and evidently he found that too boring and ordered the front office to go dumpster diving for the highest scoring free agent they could find. Trading Danny Green for Dennis Schroder when they already had Kentavious Cardwell-Pope as the creator on the second unit. Low-balling Alex Caruso. Trading KCP and Kyle Kuzma for Russell Westbrook. Then trading Westbrook for D’Angelo Russell, only to inexplicably hold on to him at the deadline when they could have netted an asset. The charade reached new highs when LeBron magnanimously offered to take a pay cut if Rob Pelinka could coax a star to join him in Los Angeles. Of course, they wasn’t possible given the short span of time. Los Angeles’ decline was self imposed.
But what of the newer generation of players who now made their way to the championship? Why hasn’t Giannis or Jokic returned to the winners circle? The answer could be winning the title doesn’t possess the same advantages it once did. You don’t get the LeBron 2013 season where he is freed from the shackles of scrutiny and the league officially becomes his. Instead, you’re expected to do it again with a bigger target painted on your back. The media becomes more vicious and wears them down. The Nuggets enjoyed a quiet rise to the top in 2023, later burdened by expectations and being treated as inevitable possesses an underrated threat to defending champions it did not before. Inevitability used to galvanize the favored team and demoralize the challenger, now the roles are reversed.
It is very possible we’ll see more additions to the “One and Done Club” due to the circumstances of the modern NBA.
The superstars in the One and Done Club list is:
• Dirk Nowitzki • Julius Erving • Moses Malone • Rick Barry • Elvin Hayes • Wes Unseld • Jerry West • Nikola Jokic • Giannis Antetkoumpo • Jayson Tatum
Besides Dirk, before the beginning of the 2020s it was rare to win just one championship between the years 1988 and 2002. It used to be when you win the title once you’re going to do it again. Most of the One and Done champions came from the turbulent 1970s when team building was volatile due to strenuous contract negotiations, rampant egos and unpredictability. Only the Knicks and Celtics were allowed to peacefully decline. The Warriors fell because Rick Barry‘s petulance. The Blazers fell because of Walton’s poor feet and poor treatment of Maurice Lucas. The SuperSonics fell off because Dennis Johnson alienated the team during his contractual standoff. It would happen so suddenly too. The Warriors should have repeated in ‘76. The Blazers in ‘78.
Now the team that “should have” repeated loses in a more graceful, dignified manner. The short-handed Bucks fought the Celtics valiantly in ‘22. The Nuggets simply ran into a bad matchup in round two this year. Had nothing to do with egos or fisticuffs. Merely the grind becoming too much and the bottom giving out.
But this team “feels” different. The circumstances feel more favorable to Boston than in the past. The last eastern conference team to win the title was Milwaukee, the only reason they lost was because Middleton was injured. Many people picked them to repeat because the conference was viewed as easy pickings compared to the stronger west. Had they remained healthy they at least make it back to the finals and then it’s up to you whether they’d beat Golden State.
Fast forward to today, the east is still viewed as the “Leastern Conference”, the contenders don’t particularly stand out. Philadelphia signing Paul George will help ease the burden on Joel Embiid. But the issue for Philly is Embiid is never healthy when he is needed the most. They lost Nic Batum and Buddy Heild, and don’t possess a quality starting center or a deep bench. If your fourth best player isn’t at the level of Derrick White you’re going nowhere.
New York reunited the Villanova Wildcats by paying a premium for Mikal Bridges to complete their set. Their core of Jalen Brunson (28), Josh Hart (turning 30 next March), Donte Divencenzo (27), and the aforementioned Bridges (28) are poised to give the Knicks at least two more cracks at the title before the dearth of assets and financial flexibility hammer them. But it’s the hefty price of 5-first round picks they paid for Bridges that bothers me. They should have played hard ball with Brooklyn; there’s no way the Knicks didn’t know Bridges already wanted to go to them. Plus, they’re going to need those picks for potential future deals. Losing Isaiah Hartenstein to Oklahoma City leaves only the talented, but often injured Mitchell Robinson as their quality starting level center. Which isn’t ideal. I would have waited for Donovan Mitchell to become available because easing the scoring load for Brunson was more of a pressing concern to me than trading for Bridges when I am already paying a lot of money for O.G Anonuby.
The Knicks have time to fix their problems, though they don’t have many tools left in their arsenal. Tom Thibodeau is a great head coach, but tends to grind his players knees into dust which is how you get the pitiful Game 7 exit they ended last season with. They may have won the off-season, but can they win the post season?
So who are the real challengers for the champion Celtics? Milwaukee deserves a mention for having Giannis on their team. Beyond that they don’t have much to intimidate them with. If Brook Lopez is traded that leaves a hole at the center position, and it is quite frankly a bad idea to cast blame for the team falling from 4th in defensive rating in ‘22-23 to 19th in ‘23-24 on him and not Middleton’s continued decline and Damian Lillard being a turnstile. The front office is blaming the wrong player for their woes.
The real contenders are Miami, because they’ve beaten Boston before and more recently than Milwaukee. Much is ballyhooed about the rift between Jimmy Butler and Pat Riley, but they were never going to trade Butler. He is on an expiring contract, coming off an injury riddled campaign and Miami wouldn’t get much for him if they bit the bullet anyway. Unless Miami experiences another three-point shooting variance in the playoffs (can’t count out lightning striking twice) then this is the last stand for Heat Culture. Regardless, there is a chance the young guns Jaimie Jacquez and Nikola Jovic contribute and provide the aging Heat roster with a needed shot in the arm. Anything is possible with Erik Spolstra.
And lastly, the Indiana Pacers. Yeah, the team Boston swept. The only team that didn’t win a game versus the Celtics in the playoffs. Yeah, those guys I am saying could be the ones to do the job if the cookie crumbles in a certain manner. Indiana’s offensive rating in the East Finals was an astonishing 116. They play fast, efficient and are very smart. Rick Carlisle coached up Andrew Nembhard and everyone not named Myles Turner played really well offensively in that series. Defensively is a different story. But if they get a healthy Tyrese Haliburton in the playoffs and Bennedict Mathurin it’ll better compliment an already deep Pacers squad.
My only advice for the Celtics is try your damndest to avoid an unfavorable matchup in the second round. The second round is where the playoffs are the most volatile. It’s also where four of the last five defending champions fell.
Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcast. He does not come from the future.
If I were Michael Hurley, I would simply not be terrible and unfunny.
Giddey. Caruso. The rare impactful honky-for-honky trade.
It’s bad enough when these NFL draft morons ‘grind tape!’ We’re supposed to believe that some whore from Florida with saggy silver dollar flapjacks is watching junior hockey?
if there isn’t already a Boston championships parade shirt with “we’ll duck you up”/“time to get ducked up”/“let’s ducking go” and a duck boats illustration……… we need it
Has anyone been bitten by a shark while hoisting the Stanley Cup?
Lukaku is Congolese for the ‘cattle are dying.’
Cakes are cooking for Rober Davi, Tara VanDerveer, Mick Jones, Chris Issak, Patty Smyth, Greg LeMond, Harriet Wheeler, Pamela Wright, Kirk McLean, Shannon Sharpe, Nick Offerman, Paul Thomas Anderson, Gretchen Wilson, Derek Jeter, Chad Pennington, Michael Vick, Casey Desmond, Jennette McCurdy, and Ariana Grande.
Just once in my life, I want to witness twin tornadoes so I can exclaim to no one in particular, “Ok…we got sisters!”
I’m gonna use a saying my dad told me years ago in relations to Gisele ..if you’re gonna build your house on the golf course..then you can’t complain when the golf balls start coming thru the window
The Knicks paid out way more for Brooklyn’s Bridges than the Dutch originally did for the island of Manhattan!
What good is the “eye test” when you don’t know what you’re looking at?
Red Line Reminder: Beginning at 8:30 PM on Friday, June 28, and through the weekend of June 29-30 Alewife Trains bypass Kendall/MIT Station due to construction. Riders can transfer, for free, at Central or Charles/MGH.
The Negro League kept better records than Sal.
Hey gang that definitely has no cultist tendencies, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’m not in a cult retard.”
So every “Heat Culture” loser currently peacocking over a Fort Lauderdale hockey team’s heimlich maneuver Game 7 win were discounting the Celtics three-loss playoff performance last week, yes?
We are not perfect ..remember that ..
The worst thing about Italians is they don’t realize they should be ashamed of being Italian.
July is almost here which means it’s time for another round of my Zoom workshop for aspiring sportswriters. Been incredible seeing many who have taken it in press boxes all over this year. Come learn what it takes to break in. Email bychriscotillo@gmail.com for info/pricing.
People who like Keefe are the same people who go into a taproom with a selection of 100 beers and order a Miller Lite.
Do you think Aidan Kearney would drink Karen Read’s toilet water? I do.
Last chance to be 1 of 5 picked to win $10000 cash if you throw a FB through a car window from 12-2 tomorrow at Albrecht Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram in Westboro. Sign up at dealership.
Photograph your living room and post it in the comments.
The only thing Todd McShay should be providing any opinions on is appearing on ESPN drunk out of his mind.
People I know, places I go, make me feel tongue-tied. And I can see how, people look down, They’re on the inside.
Here’s where the story ends.
People I see, weary of me showing my good side. And I can see how people look down, I’m on the outside.
Here’s where the story ends. Oh, here’s where the story ends.
It’s that little souvenir, of a terrible year, which makes my eyes feel sore. Oh, I never should have said, the books that you read were all I loved you for. It’s that little souvenir, of a terrible year, which makes me wonder why. And it’s the memories of your shed, that make me turn red. Surprise, surprise, surprise.
One thing I will never do is debate Boston sports on Twitter with a fan who roots for teams in four different states. Not to be a snob but we are not the same.
My estimate is that had face masks not been invented, major league baseball would now result in the deaths of an estimated 4.6 umpires per month.
Honk if you remember Earl Wilson’s no-hitter against the Angels on this day.
I’ve been a Taylor Swift fan for a long time and I’m so happy her and Travis Kelce are together. Travis is the first guy that truly feels madly in love with her and she deserves that. If they end up getting married, I’ll be very happy about that too.
All real Bruins fans use “Y’all” liberally on social media.
When there is more than just cheese it ceases to be a grilled cheese sandwich.
People regarded Jordan & Pippen as a Batman & Robin situation as opposed to a Superman & Batman partnership and that affected how every other basketball duo was viewed in the past 35 years… Jayson Tatum & Jaylen Brown are more like Iron Man & War Machine or Cable & Deadpool.
Dan Le Betard’s expanded universe of Hispanics must be stopped.
That fat Mets fan Frank is going to be a pallbearer at RA’s funeral, sponsored by DraftKings & Dude Wipes.
Scottie Scheffler has the slow beating heart of a criminal.
Grapefruit League Babe Ruth Bobby Dalbec with two home runs for the Woo Sox last night?
What’s Alan Jackson’s favorite client to fuck? The next one.
Happy trails to you, Linus Ullmark. I bet the Bussin’ Bussi likes hugs, too though. And fire engines.
The kids who say “Play ball” before an MLB game hold so much power. What happens if they refuse to say it? Do we just not play?
Julio Foolio was just turning his life around.
Chris Cotillo’s Zoom workshops have bigger audiences than some of these Stanley Cup appearances in south Florida.
Best bet for the weekend: The Swiss over Italy in the Euro.
Not Pictured: Perk.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I will be taking next week off. Something will run in this place. Enjoy the 4th.
BdlG, as good as the Larry O’Brien Trophy? Or maybe slightly better?
That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works.
The 15 