The 15

I bet State Farm told Dallas they had to trade Doncic to the Lakers.

Points man Pasta is still a Good Kid.

Dale would drive 2 hours for a meatball, MegO goes for pizza from Star Market near the TDGarden – weirdos.

This Jaden Springer trade could haunt the Celtics. I can’t help but be reminded of when Harry Frazee traded da Babe!

I can’t beieve the Grammys forgot that dead guitar player from Whitesnake and Tygers of Pan Tang. So disrespectful. Also, Justin Tucker is no longer welcome at the Tigers of Pan Tang Spa.

Celtics recent failures are not the fault of the head coach according to Kristaps Porzingis “ Mazzulla” s doing everything he can to help us.”

Lebron has fucked so many teammates you’d think he plays in the WNBA.

Hey Lays, when can we finally get your ketchup chips here in Massachusetts? Going to Canada for them gets expensive.

A honk-less Truck Day. Sad.

As Valentine’s Day is coming, be aware that fragrances are heavily faked. If you want to be safe, buy direct, from retailers (Macy’s, Sephora, Ulta) or well-known discounters (Jomashop, FragranceX, FragranceNet, FragranceBuy).

WEEI should have just sent its unwanted on-air employees to Radio Row in New Orleans, and just never brought them back.

Imagine shaking your spouse awake (when you have sick kids!) to tell her your favorite basketball player got traded.

Cakes are cooking for Don Cherry, Larry Tamblyn, Nolan Bushnell, Charlotte Rampling, Darrell Waltrip, Barbara Hershey, Errol Morris, Nick Laird-Clowes, Jane Geddes, Tim Meadows, Duff McKagen, Jim Pugh, Laura Linney, José María Olazábal, Chris Parnell, Roberto Alomar, Bobby Brown, Sara Evans, Brian Moorman, Adam Everett, Cristiano Ronaldo, Laurence Maroney, Reed Sorenson, and Neymar.

A BU vs. BC Beanpot Tital Game? That hardly ever happens!

It’s crazy to think that if Luka were any fatter he’d be working at Atamian Honda.

The Milwaukee Bucks are trading Khris Middleton, AJ Johnson and a pick swap to the Washington Wizards for Kyle Kuzma, Patrick Baldwin Jr. and second-round draft compensation, sources tell The15.

I hear Mrs. Ted will be watching the Big Game at the MEMA Bunker. For reasons.

Red Line Reminder: Feb 8 – 9 (this weekend) Shuttle Buses replace service between JFK/UMass and Braintree for signal upgrades. Commuter Rail will be fare-free between South Station & Braintree.

Beyoncé has won 33 Grammys. And I know one song by her.

Hey gang of fed-up football fans, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “look at all those meat-faced cretins.”

Justin Tucker will be fine, Ray Lewis killed a guy and they gave him a statue.

A self-serving unverifiable statement from Kyrie Irving you say?

If we’re very good, maybe all the hugely hyped Super Bowl ads will be seen online before the game!

Forbes Magazine listed America’s Most Generous Philanthropists for 2025, and no surprise here, # 1 on the list: Doug Meehan.

A Salvation Army band played
And the children drank lemonade
And the morning lasted all day
All day

And through an open window came
Like Sinatra in a younger day
Pushing the town away
Ah

Ah-hey-ma-ma-ma
Dee-doo-din-nie-ya-ya
Ah-hey-ma-ma-ma
Hey-y-yah
Life in a northern town
Ah-hey-ma-ma-ma-ma

Nobody ever disappears in the Bermuda Triangle anymore.

Muffins are funnier than cupcakes.

No one “wins” the off season. The off season is just guesswork. Sportswriters claimed the Angels won the off season 10 times in a row, with Rendon, Shohei, Pujols, Torii Hunter, Josh Hamilton, Andrelton Simmons, etc. They never won anything; they just spent money.

Not for nothing Big Baby, but healthcare fraud is a very white crime.

Why is there an Eagles fan in the Big Y commercial talking about it’s too bad all our teams aren’t still playing?

Honk if you remember which TV show debuted after Super Bowl XVII.

Vice’s “Belichick or Brady” show? Dumb premise, but hagiographic for both of them, with nary a mention of Kraft. A welcome departure from last year’s Apple TV+ documentary.

Mike Zunino, who was really a pretty good player, last played in 2023, and left with a career batting average of .199. He is the first player ever to retire with 100+ career home runs and a batting average under .200. Joey Gallo will become the second.

Do you think Kyle Kuzma hates being called “Cooze” like Dr. Cusamano did?

Teams that have won the turnover battle in the Super Bowl have a 39-7 record.

What organization accredited Rich to go to the Soupey and pretend to still be media? ‘Sports?’ ‘Plain Black Mic Flag?’

Imagine being on yet another unearned vacation and obsessing over lost Twitter followers.

You think Upton Bell has never been in a Cadillac?

Standing Headline: Red Sox Free Agent Target Signs Elsewhere.

Best bet for the weekend: underwhelming advertisements during The Big Game.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I don’t need permission, make my own decisions. That’s, that’s my prerogative.