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Football Cat’s Week 14 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on December 4, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Football Cat’s Week 14 NFL Picks ’25

Time to check in with everyone’s favorite nonagenarian sportswriter, none other than legendary boxing and gridiron correspondent for the old Boston Evening Gazette, Buzz “Lefty” McBride. Mr. McBride would like to share his take on the controversial hit New England Patriots’ linebacker Christian Eliss placed on New York Giants’ quarterback Jaxson Dart during the first quarter of Monday night’s football game.

Buzz “Lefty” McBride: “Looks to me like Eliss knocked Jaxson Dart onto Queer Street”

Many thanks to “Lefty” for his thoughtful and enlightened commentary.

Sunday Lunch Time
Titans at Browns (-4.5)
Turds top Tits

Seahawks (-7) at Falcons
Fake sea birds rule the roost

Colts (-1.5) at Jaguars
Jags jettison Jones

Commanders at Vikings (-2.5)
Feds raid Minnesota

Bengals at Bills (-5.5)
Buffalo buries Burrow

Saints at Buccaneers (-8.5)
Bucs defrock the clergy

Steelers (-6) at Ravens
Scary black birds love a game played in a dark place

Dolphins (-2.5) at Jets
New Yorkers feast on frozen fish

Sunday Dinner Time
Broncos (-7.5) at Raiders
YOU want the Raiders to win, but you can’t always get what you want

Rams (-8.5) at Cardinals
Horney sheep trample pretty red birds

Bears at Packers (-6.5)
The pack is back!

Sunday Prowl Time
Texans at Chiefs (-3.5)
Indoor cats can’t handle the chill of the open plains

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles (-2.5) at Chargers
Patriotic birds zap Bolts

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Thanksgiving Picks ’25

Posted on November 27, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Turkey fans enjoy giving out gobbles this time of year, but what about America’s fastest, and fattest, growing dietary subgroup the Porksaterians? Well don’t worry Porky, we’re here to satisfy you with a serving of oinks.

Grant Huckvale (a.k.a. Hogdale):
Hogdale carved a niche for himself as an overly exuberant alternative broadcaster to the stoic and bland official Red Sox play-by-play teams on NESN and WEEI. Over the summer you’d see Hogdale clips occasionally retweeted into your timeline, usually after Red Sox wins, and you’d think to yourself “I think that’s the tops“. We probably all agree that Hogdale is special. Smash cut to present day, and we are confronted with a hog of a different color. Barstool, in an effort to fill an obese chromosomically challenged void in their lineup, swooped in and waved a lucrative (by part-time minimum waged Iowan standards) five figure contract in front of Hogdale’s snout and lured him into their slaughter house. Now Hogdale’s giant screaming maw is ever present, ever hot takey and ever annoying. To quote Rocky IV: “What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster”.
4 oinks 🐷🐷🐷🐷

Thanksgiving early eaters time
Packers at Lions (-2.5)
Jungle Kings slice and dice Cheese Heads

Thanksgiving late eaters time
Chiefs (-3.5) at Cowboys
Squantos feast on the Pilgrims

Thanksgiving overeaters time
Bengals at Ravens (-7)
Scary Black Birds bury Burrow’s boys

Black Friday Afternoon Nap time
Bears at Eagles (-7)
Birds bully Bears

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 11 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 14, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!

and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!

As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):

Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!

Sunday Desayuno Time
Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5)
¡Los delfines ganan!

Sunday Lunch Time
Panthers at Falcons (-3.5)
Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win

Buccaneers at Bills (-6)
Bills bully Baker

Chargers (-3) at Jaguars
Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs

Bears at Vikings (-2.5)
Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears

Packers (-7) at Giants
There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.

Bengals at Steelers (-5.5)
Yinzers flatten Flacco

Texans (-6) at Titans
Tex squeezes Tits

Sunday Dinner Time
49ers (-3) at Cardinals
Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds

Seahawks at Rams (-3)
Horny sheep trample fake sea birds

Ravens (-7.5) at Browns
Scary black birds flush the Browns

Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos
Chiefs bust Broncos

Sunday Prowl Time
Lions at Eagles (-2.5)
Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly

Monday Prowl Time
Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders
Ranch hands rustle Raiders

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 10 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 7, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

News item: ESPN and Penn Entertainment are ending their sports-betting agreement early after failing to gain significant market share. The sports-media company will instead launch a new multiyear deal with industry leader DraftKings. The early ending for ESPN’s Penn Entertainment venture and ESPN Bet’s inability to gain scale is a sign of the grip DraftKings and FanDuel have on the market. Sports betting has exploded in America, but smaller companies and later entrants have been unable to capture fans’ attention.

We here at The15Net.com know how difficult it can be for the little guy to mix it up with the big boys, so we are offering up our services to Penn in its time of need. Our industry leading brand is a perfect fit for Penn’s deep pockets and poor judgement. We have year round features like the ever popular Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer, the wildly successful Football Cat’s Weekly NFL Picks, the eagerly awaited March Sadness, this summer’s surprise smash hit the Summer Mini-Tournament and a cornucopia of other fabulous rib ticklers and side splitters. How does “The15net Bets” sound to you?

And all for the low low price of only $15 million in cash per year! That’s a tenth of what you were paying ESPN, and no one even has access to that channel anymore. So please reach out to Mr. Steve Bosell, the Managing Editor of The15Net.com, at your earliest convenience (if you can find him).

Thank you for you attention to this matter.

Sunday Frühstück Time
Falcons at Colts (-6.5)
Indianapolis Jones triumphs over those Nazi inspired helmet logos

Sunday Lunch Time
Saints at Panthers (-5.5)
Black cats scare the bejesus out of the Saints

Giants at Bears (-4.5)
Bears send G-men into hibernation

Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans
Spotted cats have a problem in Houston

Bills (-9.5) at Dolphins
Buffalo grills Dolphins

Ravens (-4.5) at Vikings
Scary black birds continue to come back from the dead

Browns (-1.5) at Jets
Browns catch Firesale Ed’s team looking ahead to 2027

Patriots at Buccaneers (-2.5)
It’s no longer Baker Mayfield, it’s Baker ISfield!

Sunday Dinner Time
Cardinals at Seahawks (-6.5)
Fake Seabirds snatch up pretty red birds

Rams (-3) at 49ers
Horny sheep menace Mac

Lions (-7.5) at Commanders
Lions tame Swamp Things

Sunday Prowl Time
Steelers at Chargers (-3)
Bolts can’t penetrate the Men of Steel’s Faraday cage

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles at Packers (-2.5)
American Birds snap up Meat Men

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 9 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on October 30, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

We at Football Cat World Headquarters would like to thank the thousands of you who mailed in your postcards with answers to this week’s FBC Burning Question^©: “What would you give out to Trick-or-Treaters if you ran out of candy?”

Every one of your suggestions was fantastic, unfortunately we don’t have the bandwidth to print them all here, but rest assured they will be available for download once the World Series is over. Until then, enjoy this random assortment of responses:

“Blue square lapel pins” – Robert K., Brookline, MA

“A variety of Buddha faux succulent terrariums” – Arianne S., Peabody MA

“Hugs” – Mike M., Enfield CT

“Resumes” – Jerod M., North Attleborough, MA

“Disease infested blankets” – Jeffrey A., Amherst MA

“Yolks from hard boiled eggs” – Brian L., Mansfield MA

“Blue cupcakes” – Joshua M., Nashua NH

“EpiPens” – Kendra M., Jacksonville FL

“Keep your grimy fingers off my blue cupcakes f*ck face. Give out some of those hand sanitizer bottles you’ve been swigging.” – Roger S., Nashua NH

“Serial killer vibes” – Jonathan B., Stoughton MA

“A free ride home from any detox center” – Frank S., Peabody MA

“L’s” – Steve R., Lowell MA

“Charcoal” – Bryan D., Quincy MA

“I can’t remember the question” – Corey B., Dorchester, MA

Speaking of early onset Alzheimer’s, don’t forget to turn those clocks back on Sunday

Sunday Lunch Time
Bears (-2.5) at Bengals
Tigers lose to Bears, oh my!

Vikings at Lions (-8.5)
Jungle kings maul marauders

Panthers at Packers (-12.5)
Meatmen slice and dice black cats

I think I’d prefer the slicing and dicing

Broncos (-1.5) at Texans
Broncos nix Texicans

Falcons at Patriots (-5.5)
Patriots finally get revenge for almost losing the Super Bowl nine years ago

What did the Squirtle say to the Charmander?

49ers (-2.5) at Giants
Prospectors pinch Pituitaries

Colts (-3) at Steelers
Indianapolis Jones yanks Yinzers

Chargers (-9.5) at Titans
Bolts tingle Tits

Sunday Dinner Time
Saints at Rams (-14)
Saints get excommunicated in the City of Angels

Jaguars (-3) at Raiders
Spotty cats claw Pete’s poodles

Chiefs (-2) at Bills
Chiefs take down tatanka

Sunday Prowl Time
Seahawks (-3.5) at Commanders
Fake sea birds soar over swamp things

Monday Prowl Time
Cardinals at Cowboys (-2.5)
Cowboys cage pretty red birds

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 1 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on September 5, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Football Cat is tired from watching the Patriotic Birds play the Pokes.

Your long wait is finally over, and so is your Summah, football season is upon us! And this season is no ordinary season… this season YOU (yes, YOU!) get the opportunity to go head to head with our very own Feline Football Forecaster, the one, the only Football Cat!

One of our interns (I haven’t taken time to learn their names yet) outlined the rules in an earlier post.

The Cliff Notes version: If you can pick more winners than Football Cat you will be eligible to win a fabulous The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack! Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of tonight’s game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants! It’s that easy. All you have to lose is your self respect.

Which leaves us with the question… Can YOU beat Football Cat?

Sexta à Noite Prowl Time
Chiefs (-3) vs Chargers
“I play the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil
‘Cause everybody plays the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil
‘Cause it’s all we’ve ever wanted, and it’s all that you want still
Don’t you wanna play the beautiful game out in Brazil?”

Plugs shock Chiefs in the Southern Hemisphere’s Winter Classic

Pelé knew which game was the *real o jogo bonito*

Sunday Lunch Time
Buccaneers (-2) at Falcons
An opening week NFC South six pointer! Why wasn’t this on Sunday Night Football? Bucs win and all but clinch the division

Bengals (-6) at Browns
Stripey cats leave the Browns strewn across their litter box

Actually Cleveland is a really nice place… for me to poop on!

Dolphins at Colts (-1.5)
Ponies pop Porps

Panthers at Jaguars (-3)
Cat fight! Spotted cats send black cats home with two black eyes

Raiders at Patriots (-2.5)
Botox Brady’s team comes up short in the shadow of Tom’s tiny headed statue

Cardinals (-6.5) at Saints
Cardinals win the Holy War

Say two Hail Marys and one Act of Cat-trition (*uproarious laughter*)

Steelers (-3) at Jets
Men of Steel dominate in Metropolis

Krypto, Krytpo, Krypto! Why no love for Streaky the Supercat?

Giants at Commanders (-6)
I’m calling the president. Mr. President, we need the National Guard. We need as many men as you can spare because the Commanders are killing the Giants. Wait… what? They’re already here? Never mind.

My old Platoon Sergeant said the Guard was for pussies

Sunday Dinner Time
Titans at Broncos (-7.5)
Tits sag in the thin air

49ers (-2.5) at Seahawks
Fake Sea Birds rub Purrrdy the wrong way

Lions at Packers (-2.5)
Jungle Kings devour Meat Men

Texans at Rams (-2.5)
Horny sheep give Houston problems

Sunday Prowl Time
Ravens at Bills (-1.5)
Scary Black birds spook Hairy Cows

Monday Prowl Time
Vikings at Bears (-1.5)
Norsemen skin grizzlies

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Championship Sunday Picks

Posted on January 24, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

News item: Some new executive orders have just been signed…

“Saturday” will be renamed to “Caturday”.
Catnip will be allowed to flow across the Southern border.
All online betting advisors will be required to publicly display their success rate or something else (*wink wink*).
Amnesty for the accused in the “Shedd Park Incident of July 4 1992”.
Laser pointers will be outlawed.
Designated nap times throughout the day, with comfortable sleeping spots readily available in all public spaces.
All deadbeat squatters will be evicted from the homes of their deceased mother’s former boyfriend. Their cats will be allowed to stay.
Dogs will be banned from most public areas, with designated “dog parks” far away from cat territory.
Anyone using “Y’all” will be banned from all social media platforms, even the Chinese ones.
Humans must be readily available for head scratches and belly rubs whenever a cat desires.
Only Union workers will be allowed on the roads between 4 am and 6 am.
The records from the Loyko investigation must be immediately released.

SUNDAY EARLY DINNER TIME
Commanders at Eagles (-6)
American Birds haven’t been this surprised by a Commie offensive in January since 1968

On that day our platoon sergeant sacrificed himself so we could all make it home alive. RIP Sgt.Thornton.

SUNDAY EARLY PROWL TIME
Bills at Chiefs (-1)
As has played out on the great plains for hundreds of years, the Native Americans, once again, take down the Tonawanda Tatanka

The buffalo seemed more stunned by the audacity of the tactic than they are surprised the wolves are actually dudes

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 18 Picks

Posted on January 3, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2025 and the final week of the NFL regular season. Unlike almost every team in the league, Football Cat is going to give a full 100% effort in Week 18. There will be no tanking nor relaxing at this address. Although I do find staring at a fish tank very relaxing.

SATURDAY DINNER TIME
Browns at Ravens (-17.5)
Scary Black Birds feast on stale Brownies

SATURDAY PROWL TIME
Bengals (-1.5) at Steelers
Stripey Cats get the W but not a spot in the ‘yoffs

SUNDAY LUNCH TIME
Panthers at Falcons (-8.5)
Black Cats smack down a flaccid Penix

Commanders (-4.5) at Cowboys
Commies win and get in

Bears at Packers (-9)
Hibernating Bears get ground up by Meat Men

Jaguars at Colts (-4.5)
Spotty Cats trampled by Horsies

Bills (-2.5) at Patriots
Patriots finish the season the same way it started with an idiotic Gatorade bath for Coach Mayo

He better hope that’s “victory” mayonnaise

Giants at Eagles (-3)
G-men do more damage to their draft position

Saints at Buccaneers (-13)
Bucs plow through New Orleans

Texans at Titans (-1)
Tits hold firm against Texans backups

I meant to type “Got It”. (Avert your eyes!)

SUNDAY DINNER TIME
49ers at Cardinals (-4.5)
Pretty Red Birds fly high into the off-season

Chiefs at Broncos (-11)
Broncos win by default

Seahawks (-5.5) at Rams
Fake Sea Birds romp over resting Rams

Chargers (-5.5) at Raiders
Never forget that Kraft didn’t even bother to interview Brother Jim

Dolphins (-1.5) at Jets
The incoming Undersecretary for Health and Human Services closes out his NFL career with a win

SUNDAY PROWL TIME
Vikings at Lions (-3)
Jungle Kings nosh on Nordic knee caps

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 16 Picks

Posted on December 20, 2024 by naop Leave a comment

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style, in the air there’s a feeling of Christmas. And in the spirit of the holiday season, the animals of The 15, and animals adjacent to The 15, have pooled their meager resources and gifted Football Cat a well deserved week off.

SATURDAY LUNCH TIME
Texans at Chiefs (-2.5)
Marv thinks that, while the Chiefs may appear harmless, KC will suddenly snap and go for the Texans jugular.

SATURDAY DINNER TIME
Steelers at Ravens (-6.5)
Jocko isn’t a fan of the Black Birds, he takes the Steelers.

SUNDAY LUNCH TIME
Cardinals (-4.5) at Panthers
Jocko also isn’t a fan of the Black Cats, he takes the Cardinals.

Giants at Falcons (-9)
Rams (-3) at Jets
Spuckie the rat loves both New York teams to at least cover.

Spuckie loved going on long walks with his owner LJ Sandwich (OOTGs)

Lions (-6.5) at Bears
Gus takes Detroit in a huge bounce back game in chilly Chicago after a loss against Buffalo.

Titans at Colts (-3.5)
Millie says to lay it all on the Tits

Eagles (-3.5) at Commanders
Remi takes the Eagles over the Commanders.

Browns at Bengals (-7.5)
The Cleveland Pig digs the Browns (and truffles).

SUNDAY DINNER TIME
Vikings (-3) at Seahawks
Loki wishes he could fly like a real non-existent Seahawk.

Jaguars at Raiders (-1)
And Jocko really doesn’t like the Black Hole!

49ers at Dolphins (-1)
Jasper would prefer backing a team from Virginia Beach, but Miami Beach is a close second.

Patriots at Bills (-14)
Bo has unwavering faith in the Coach Quick Slants.

SUNDAY PROWL TIME
Buccaneers (-4) at Cowboys
Dooze loves the Cowboys especially when they play with their roof open.

Did you hear about the dog park on the moon?

MONDAY PROWL TIME
Saints at Packers (-13.5)
Paco backs the Meat Men, preferably with a nice coating of Rub Smoke Love BEEF CAKE premium all-natural beef rub and seasoning.

All the best food seasonings are sold at True Value

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks

Posted on November 29, 2024 by naop One comment

It’s BLACK FRIDAY!

Don’t worry, a deranged pilot is not going to fly a blimp into an NFL stadium near you. It means it’s your chance to save SAVE SAVE!

Just visit the the official “The 15” store, and with a few clicks (and a valid credit card) you can take care of all your holiday shopping and enjoy all the football.