As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!
and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!
Double TRADEMARK!
As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):
Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!
Sunday Desayuno Time Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5) ¡Los delfines ganan!
Sunday Lunch Time Panthers at Falcons (-3.5) Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win
Times are tough
Buccaneers at Bills (-6) Bills bully Baker
Chargers (-3) at Jaguars Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs
From the golden age of advertising
Bears at Vikings (-2.5) Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears
Packers (-7) at Giants There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.
High brow humor!
Bengals at Steelers (-5.5) Yinzers flatten Flacco
Texans (-6) at Titans Tex squeezes Tits
Sunday Dinner Time 49ers (-3) at Cardinals Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds
He’s gaining on you red
Seahawks at Rams (-3) Horny sheep trample fake sea birds
Ravens (-7.5) at Browns Scary black birds flush the Browns
If it’s brown, flush it down
Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos Chiefs bust Broncos
Sunday Prowl Time Lions at Eagles (-2.5) Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly
He likes his cheese steak extra cheesy
Monday Prowl Time Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders Ranch hands rustle Raiders
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Haven’t the Jimmy Fund kids been through enough, why make them get interviewed by Dave O’Brien?
Steve Pagliuca is a class act who understood what it meant to represent our fandom as an owner on the NBA stage. I was disappointed he didn’t have the winning bid but this statement exudes the class he showed through his tenure as part owner. Thank you Pags!
ESPN shitting on the grave of Bert Bell will keep Upton Bell alive two more decades.
Say ‘there’s magic the the greens!’ a few more times TC.
Spending that beautiful Saturday inside because the Pats played at 1 is reminding me of all the awesome fall Sunday I’ll be inside all day because the Pats play at 1.
The coach’s challenges add to the quaint ambiance of the Little League World Series.
Watched the first episode of Hard Knocks with the Bills last night. Dion Dawkins spinning around in a race car with his young kids in the passenger seat is fucking insane. I need Felger to comment and get cancelled.
Apparently the Celtics marketing folks are trying to stay under the luxury tax as well.
Cakes are cooking for Don King, Dave Brock, Rich Brooks, Graig Nettles, Connie Chung, John Noble, Robert Plant, John Hiatt, Al Roker, Quinn Buckner, Joan Allen, Cindy Nicholas, Mark Langston, Duffy Waldorf, Jr., KRS-One, Andy Benes, Fred Durst, Ke Huy Kwan, Todd Helton, Misha Collins, Chris Drury, Andrew Garfield, Alex Newell, and Demi Lovato.
One thing Joe Burrow is going to do is stick with a drive mentally no matter what car wash he’s going through to get to the end zone and still score.
What’s the big deal here? Jesus is King.
Hey gang this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “As a mom of a boy, I need Donna Kelce to write a book on how to raise sons. INSTANT buy.”
The Cleveland Guardians are going to overtake the Red Sox despite selling at the trade deadline and having their relief ace intentionally lose.
Red Line: Delays of about 15 minutes due to a passenger requiring medical assistance at Harvard.
‘The Wheels on the Bus’ might be the most misogynistic song ever. All the women repeatedly tell their children “shhh” all through the town while the men adoringly say “I love you” to the kids instead. Truly a sad and misguided take on women’s relationships with their young boys and girls.
Ricardo Quaresma looks like he’s running for mayor of Swansea.
Back at the mirror, your good friend Talkin’ to the mirror to play out your game Stop in the middle, I stop then Look at the winner and the price you pay Mmm
Cold was the winter, I tremble Long was the fall that had no end Now little by little, the air clears Little by little, I can breathe, I can breathe again
I can breathe again I can breathe again now Call your name, call your name Call your name, call your name Everything changes, everything changes I call your name.
Paul Pierce said there was an “intense moment” between Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins during a team meeting during the 2008-09 season.
A pitta me, carpe diem, de facto, it goes on and on like that, eck cetera.
OK new cellphone, maybe you have a point not liking the dollar store car charger. My bad.
The 2019 movie The Vault was pretty good, but the soundtrack was exemplary.
Lou Damn Merloni talking over and explaining cancer to a (checks notes) Oncology Specialist isn’t triggering at all.
I would go to a Big Head Todd and the Monsters show any day of the week.
The McCourty Twins as commentators for the Pats preseason is like getting one for the price of two! Because they sound the same.
Honk if you remember swimmer Janet Evans.
Do you tip at full-service gas stations?
Red Sox third base coach Kyle Hudson was probably thinking about how Braintree got eliminated from the LLWS when he held the runner.
Get well soon Sophie Cunningham.
I’m sure Upton will be happy when ESPN resolves the situation by issuing a 2 A.M. apology. Once.
When did they take Monument Park out of Williamsport?
A compelling case could be made for a polar bear effectively taking on an adult male elephant.
Best bet for the weekend: Coast Guard Search & Rescue missions.
Hug your surfers a little tighter.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. She says your voice cannot command.
And happy birthday to American actress Amy Adams. Alliteration!
Every quip on Twitter by a broad talking about what an Uber driver “said” to them is made up. Every single one.
What if the Toronto Polar bear has a humiliation fetish? Way to kink shame.
Dave O’Brien still can’t stop talking about a pitcher’s tempo even though there’s a pitch clock.
Jayson Tatum is Tatuming.
So we have one eyeshadow guy that likes the Patriots draft thus far, and one that hates it.
Maple Leaf Square should be renamed “Staple Loss Square” with how many times the Leafs get their lunch handed to them by the Bruins in the playoffs.
Did SkyCrepers pull out of sponsoring the Rich Keefe All Night Draft Party?
Brad’s going to trade that Executive of the Year Award for two second round picks and then turn those picks and an expiring contract into a 2027 first.
Cakes are cooking for Frank Beard, Rita Coolidge, Joanna Lumley, John Woo, Jerry Heard, Douglas Barr, Paul Teutul, Sr., Dann Florek, Ray Parker Jr, Nick Feldman, Dick Swett, Eddie Johnson, Steven Cauthen, Gary Clark, Yvonne von Gennip, Tim McGraw, Yael Arad, Bryan Marchment, Wes Anderson, Alex Van Pelt, Stuart Appleby, Curtis Martin, Wes Welker, David Backes, Ryan Matthews, Marcus Stroman, Anfernee Jennings, and Charli D’Amelio.
I’m sure Durant will be happy on the next team he goes to.
Hey gang of supplicants and courtiers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “You sound like a bafoon.”
I ain’t calling some other dude Kool-Aid.
Oatmeal raisin cookies are the identity thieves of the cookie world. From a distance you think they’re chocolate. Adrenaline spikes in anticipation of chocolatey morsels and that refreshing swig of ice-cold milk. Then you get nearer and realize you’ve been bamboozled. Crushing!
Are the rappers fighting again?
The smartest thing to ever come out of Lucy’s mouth is Curtis’s dick.
Folks, this should probably be pretty self-evident, but, for the record; I have 2FA enabled on literally everything I have setup in my life (which alerts me to login attempts or resets). Please, do not violate the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1996. I will report it. K? Thx.
WEEI fired Kadlick the day before the Draft Party. You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh.
No Bron-Bron?
What’s this about Coach Mayo having a mural of himself depicted as a centaur installed in Gillette?
Red Line Reminder: May 2-10 Shuttle buses will replace Red Line service all day between Park Street and JFK/UMass due to track work. Shuttle service extends to Ashmont after 8:30 PM each day through May 9.
Aloha means goodbye. Norman Esiason, Aloha.
Marquette WBB junior wing Lee Volker has withdrawn her name from the portal.
Them Red Sox, they could continue to surprise!
We as a society do not give enough credit to the Reese’s Take 5 as one of our most superior candy innovations.
“Brainteaser” stumping everybody on Wheel of Fortune is a little too on the nose.
I won a really snazzy record player at an event for my grammar school. Which is really cool but now I need to buy records. Thinking ‘Nebraska’ or ‘Born to Run’ for my first purchase. Feels like a whole new world – straight back to my childhood.
The others were untrue But when it came to lovin’ you I’d spend my whole life with you ‘Cause you came and you took control You touched my very soul You always showed me that Loving you was where it’s at You made me so very happy I’m so glad you came into my life.
Thank you baby. Yeah yeah-yeah.
I don’t know, is Chicago even allowed to have a good non-Jewish quarterback?
Honk if you remember Francis Gary Powers.
Woke up the other morning and my wife left me a post-it saying, “Vontae Mack no matter what.” Ooops. Sorry. Eyes blurry. It says, “Pick up dry cleaning.” Draft day!
What’s the deal with all the crane flies this spring?
I hope Kendra keeps this same energy when one of her 98.5 co-workers inevitably says something racist. Again.
I used to ride an electric scooter to and from train stations commuting for work so I get the appeal of them. But these people now who have scooters to get from the garage to the job LITERALLY ACROSS THE STREET is peak laziness.
Being a Leo is great because anytime I’m accused of wanting attention I’m like, yeah literally astrologically I feel no shame about that.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Remember — it’s okay to ask for help. You sad little nancy.
“EDGE” is not a position. It’s called defensive end.
No one has the right to call Nick Cattles an idiot. Everyone has the responsibility to call him an idiot.
Jose Ramirez is fascinating, because he doesn’t look at all like one of the five best players in baseball, but he is. He doesn’t look like he would be fast, but he is. Sort of in the Rick Reuschel/deceptive body class.
The Heat have signaled they want to quit. Finish them, Celtics.
Conversely, Uber drivers make up stories about things sportswriters tell them.
Where are all the yellow seats, Dale? Reinstall them!
Best bet for the weekend: The Patriots doing something cringe on Cinco de Mayo.
The Aggregator Vanishes.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. And I can’t get away.To Live and Die in L.A.
And happy birthday to actress Joy Harmon, who you may remember from this scene in ‘Cool Hand Luke’.
The 15 