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Football Cat’s Super Wild Card Weekend NFL Picks

Posted on January 13, 2024 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Football Cat has graciously agreed to work the playoffs after very successful regular season. And so:

SATURDAY SUNSET

Browns (-2.5) at Texans

Tricksters versus wildcatters. ‘Stroud’ sounds like a cat warning growl, ‘Flacco’ sounds like one coughing up a hairball. Texans win.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Dolphins at Chiefs (-4.5)

Stupidly cold weather favors neither team. So playoff experience wins out. Kansas City gets the W.

If there are any other cheapskates interested in watching the Chiefs-Dolphins game you can get Peacock for free if you sign up for a free 2 week trial of Instacart+ (whatver that is). You don’t need to give them any real info, I just signed up with my burner email address and a fake name; I used’Morris Katz.’

SUNDAY SUNSET

Packers at Cowboys (-7.5)

Cows undefeated at home. Will that matter? Of course it will! Big D big W.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Rams at Lions (-3)

Sorry Shovey Sheep, but this is the only cat team in the playoffs. I’m going to be parochial.

MONDAY SUNSET

Steelers at Bills (-10)

Bisons don’t deserve to win after getting the game moved because of snow. But deserve got nothing to do with it.

MONDAY PROWLTIME

Eagles (-3) at Buccaneers

Buccaneers have momentum, Philly does not. The Pewter Privateers win at home.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 18 NFL Picks

Posted on January 6, 2024 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Lots of teams resting starters in advance of the playoffs this week. I can understand that.

SATURDAY SUNSET

Steelers (-4) at Ravens

Will the Evil Birds take the gaspipe in the hopes the spirits conspire to keep Buffalo out of the ‘yoffs? Yes.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Texans (-1) at Colts

Wildcat Texans round up the Little Horsies.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Buccaneers (-4.5) at Panthers

Bad year for the luckless Black Cats ends as it began.

Browns at Bengals (-7)

Stripey Cats are desperate, Browns have put the bag of tricks away until the playoffs. Cincy wins.

Vikings at Lions (-3.5)

Jungle Kings don’t want to go 3-3 in the division and won’t.

Jets at Patriots (-2)

Prediction: Pats Pirouette Past Planes

Falcons at Saints (-3)

The animals of God’s creation inhabit the skies, the earth, and the sea. They share in the ways of human beings. They have a part in our lives. Francis of Assisi recognized this when he called the animals, wild and tame, his brothers and sisters. Nevertheless, Saints win.

Jaguars (-5) at Titans

Spotted Cats disrespect the Titans.

Seahawks (-2.5) at Cardinals

Cardinals are real birds. Seahawks are not. Nevertheless, the False Birds win.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Bears at Packers (-3)

Da. Bears. Da Win.

Chiefs at Chargers (-3.5)

Chiefs win because of course they do.

Broncos at Raiders (-3)

This is the game that ends in a tie.

Eagles (-5) at Giants

Any NFC East team can beat any other NFC East team. Giants prove this in bad weather against the Phils.

Rams at 49ers (-4)

No Brock Purrdy, no matter? Not if the Shovey Sheep have anything to say about it. Rams win.

Cowboys (-4) at Commanders

Cowpokes want the #2 Seed. Won’t need much fancy ropin’ to get it.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Bills (-3) at Dolphins

Prediction: Payables Pork Porps.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 17 NFL Picks

Posted on December 29, 2023 by TheIntern15 Leave a comment

Football Cat is quite done with the holidays.

Jumpball Joe Flacco and the Browns did the expected number Thurrsday on the Planes.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Lions at Cowboys (-6)

Cows look to go 8-0 in Big D. They will.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Dolphins at Ravens (-3.5)

Porps not quite good enough to beat the Poes in Charm City. Evil Birds win.

Patriots at Bills (-13)

Pats looking to play spoiler for the Bisons. Not happening.

Titans at Texans (-4.5)

Old Houston team surprises New Houston team at CONSONANTS Stadium.

Falcons at Bears (-3)

Poohs over Peregrines.

Raiders at Colts (-3.5)

Plunderers win indoors away.

Panthers at Jaguars (-6.5)

Spotted cats get back on track.

Rams (-5.5) at Giants

Shovey Sheep prove too tough for the Giants.

Cardinals at Eagles (-11)

Bigger birds win in the unfair feathery fight.

Saints at Buccaneers (-2.5)

Pewts get the home W.

49ers (-12.5) at Commanders

San Francisco! Washington! Feels like the 1980’s! Prospectors win along the Potomac.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Steelers at Seahawks (-3.5)

False Seabirds would take the all-time series lead against Pittsburgh with a win. And will.

Chargers at Broncos (-3.5)

Chargers scrap their way to a win against Old Friend Stidham.

Bengals at Chiefs (-7)

Why does it feel like the Chiefs have played 10 games at Arrowhead this season? Stripey Cats in a squeaker.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Packers at Vikings (-1.5)

Skol, Vikings!

See you in 2024 with the final week of picks!

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.