4/10/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Mitsubishi makes Eclipses, not Honda, idiot.

Doesn’t it feel like when the Red Sox lose the home opener, the Bruins and Celtics teams also both lose later that day?

Soccer and women’s basketball are the sports of the future.

We went from Tom Brady’s psychotic devotion to winning at all costs to Dear Diary Duran. We’re fucked.

Jared Zero? That name might be a little too on the nose.

Rob Bradford’s Lou Pearlman–style relationship with the boys from the ‘Play Tessie’ podcast makes me deeply uncomfortable.

Larry didn’t win a chip in during his college years either, Caitlin.

I thought a fractured Glenoid is what happens when you dropped your vintage Whiney Award statuette.

Cakes are cooking for Don Meredith, Ken Griffey Sr, Steven Seagal, Brian Setzer, Cathy Turner, Steve Tasker, Warren DeMartini, Felicia Collins, Orlando Jones, Sue Merz, Charlie Hunnam, Maren Morris, and Daisy Ridley.

That dentist, he knows pageantry.

So the WNBA fights to be noticed more in sports and then when it’s actually being talked about, they decide to show how little they actually support A WOMAN IN BASKETBALL? Bold move.

My next article will cover all teams named after birds.

Blue Line Reminder: April 9-11 (From 8 PM to the end of service each night) Shuttle Buses replace service between Government Center and Orient Heights for track work. Additional Blue Line closures will take place from April 17-28.

Jordan Walsh looks like a guy who would own a samurai sword.

I heard someone is waiting for Wes Welker to start a podcast so he can say it’s better than Edelman’s.

Gamecocks vs Hawkeyes is great because they’re both kind of birds.

Men all over Philly to they shawty after the #earthquake : ‘Hope you doing okay after that little Earthquake. It just reminded me of how you used to shake up and rock my jawn.’

It took me a long while to admit that the best home pizza sauce is just whole peeled tomatoes put through an immersion blender with a little salt.

Great to see Miguel Sano back in baseball. It seems like there isn’t a nickname big enough for him.

Maine Celtics. Owning.

Hey gang of consonant connoisseurs, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I think they film wrestling videos there.”

When on Long Island, you gotta get ready while listening to local legend Taylor Dayne.

Never played organized ball. Grew up running on the playgrounds.

I hope everyone remembered to tune their car radio to a different station after listening to the ballgame.

Certainly isn’t sundress weather today. That’s my favorite season.

Francona couldn’t stay for the opening ceremony? Well, he is due for his bimonthly hospitalization.

Honk if you remember the 1992 NHL strike.

You know what they say the darker the wiener the sweeter the…wait, what?

Damn you must have my notifications on that was quick af.

They loaned money to a guy named Zero. It’s like letting Tom Indiangiver buy you lunch.

I don’t bother chasing mice around.
I slink down the alley, looking for a fight,
Howling to the moonlight on a hot summer night

Singin’ the blues while the lady cats cry;
Wild stray cat, you’re a real gone guy.
I wish I could be as carefree and wild,
But I got cat class and I got cat style.

Poor Lucy and her relieved ‘Trev Story is on the10 Day Injured List’ reaction.

Contractual agreements…how do you enforce them?

Melrose-born Tara VanDerveer. Coaching GOAT. Now she finally has time to find a husband.

MegO does not, in fact, rock.

Pretty amazing Bobby and Danny Hurley have combined for two titles.

Dougie didn’t get to catch Wakey’s kid’s first pitch? No MSP escort to Fenway this go around?

maybe retool as the ‘Dunks and Deadbeats’ podcast? Just throwing out ideas.

Well, Vrioni scored twice. Hello?

Did Robyn take down the ‘Do Your Job’ signs with the claw part of her hammer?

Rep the Commonweath well at the Frozen Four, BU and BC.

Best bet for the weekend: Bobby Dalbec once again finding his power stroke in Worcester.

You see, because…

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. We’re gonna rock this town.

And Happy Birthday to singer-songwriter and actress Mandy Moore.

And Your 2024 #The15 March Sadness Champion is…

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Tawm the twit.

Tom E. Curran.

It appears that the Chinderella Kadlick bloc of voters stayed home in silent protest. As is their right. And also that Mike Felger choked during clutch time, caller! Fact: not opinion!

Thank you to all the media contestants, to the voting public, to the Selection Collaborative, and to The15 at large. Let’s do this again next year! (Or something similar sooner than that!)

All rights reserved The15Dynasty LLC MMXXIV

2024 March Sadness Championship

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In the Consolation Match, Mike Kadlick proves no one cares about a Cinderella once their carriage turns back into a pumpkin. No glass slipper, just a glass jaw in a loss to Squeaky Tony Mazz who finishes in third place in consecutive tournaments.

Yes, you’re a winner, pal.

Now on to the final act of The Big Sads – Felger vs. Curran. Two formerly ink-stained wretches. An irresistible farce meets the immovable object of derision. The Carpetbagger vs. the Lakeville Dagger. Missing eyebrows vs. hair transplants. Wisconsin Cheesehead vs. New England PotatoMan. Miserable Cuck vs. Heel Turn for a Buck. Both highly deserving. Two men enter, one man leaves. Choose wisely, voters.

Given the importance of this matchup, the poll will remain open for 24 hours, closing at this time Friday.

Dear readers, if you have been enjoying this year’s Mediot Tournament, or the ones previous, or the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, or the articles investigating the local sports media, or any of our other features, or the Twitter hijinks of the local collaborative, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free. The Crowdsignal plug-in that tabulates the votes costs money as well. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you. Thanks again for reading.

4/3/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

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Lawrence ‘Larry’ Lucchino. Former Red Sox President/CEO. Complicated legacy, and things of that nature. RIP.

Uh, Dawn Staley; Lisa Leslie? Ever heard of them? Didn’t think so. You’re welcome!

The Revs are the canary in the coal mine. All those problems at the cardboard box factory are spreading throughout Kraft’s empire.

Kim Mulkey dresses like Don Cherry’s spinster niece.

Another arena, Spectrum Center, where the upper deck fans have no shot at the t-shirt toss. #Celtics #Hornets

Opening Day should be a national holiday.

Am I the only one who wants to say Peekie to go along with Geekie? Probably. I’m an idiot.

Cakes are cooking for Jane Goodall, Wayne Newton, Tony Orlando, Alec Baldwin, Eddie Murphy, Mike Ness, Pervis Ellison, Mike Lansing, Picabo Street, Adam Scott, Koji Uehara, Leona Lewis, Amanda Bynes, and Jay Bruce.

The TV closed captioning tried to decipher ‘Flau’jae’. It looked like a Peter Gammons tweet.

Maybe Bobby Dalbec should wear a grapefruit rind under his ballcap the way Babe Ruth did a cabbage leaf?

Out: Spring peepers. In: Spring skiing.

Caitlin Clark definitely deserves the nickname Ponytail Pete, as in Maravich.

Orange Line Reminder: April 6-7 (This Weekend) Shuttle Buses replace service between Forest Hills and Ruggles for signal work. Commuter Rail service will be free to ride between Forest Hills, Ruggles, Back Bay, and South Station.

I just thought I would mention. . .trucks do not have DNA. Appear to be some advertisers who are confused about this.

Zach Edey must get a nice post-game work out, when the villagers chase him home with pitchforks and torches.

I was at Whole Foods (PeteCarrollStrut.gif) and saw a guy who looked EXACTLY like Hitler. Had the ‘stache and everything. My wife wouldn’t let me take a picture.

1,500 hits for Mookie. WCWGPLT?

Hey gang of Squidneck Nostradamuses! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Sensing a Caleb Love takeover game.”

Rashee Rice has ‘running from the cops’ speed.

Not even sure if this food take is controversial but if you haven’t tried mixing Diet Coke with milk you’re missing out.

Brent Rooker’s walk up song is ‘Edge of Seventeen?!?’

Eddie Goldman signed with Atlanta back in 2022, retired, came back in 2023, then was done before training camp. Now, he’s back.

You’ll never guess which Peter Pan media guy is questioning why the fat kid didn’t play football instead of basketball!

Angel Reese wears more makeup during a game than Dakota from Braintree.

Red Line Reminder: April 6-7 (This Weekend) Shuttle Buses replace service between Broadway and Ashmont & Broadway and North Quincy for bridge work & station maintenance. Express shuttles will replace Commuter Rail service between Braintree and South Station as well.

Says James, “In my opinion, there’s nothing in this world,
Beats a ’52 Vincent and a red-headed girl.
Now Nortons and Indians and Greeveses won’t do,
Ah, they don’t have a soul like a Vincent ’52.”
He reached for her hand and he slipped her the keys
He said “I’ve got no further use for these.
I see angels on Ariels in leather and chrome,
Swooping down from heaven to carry me home.”
And he gave her one last kiss and died;
And he gave her his Vincent to ride.

Is there anything more baseball than John Fogerty’s “Centerfield” playing during pregame workouts on a beautiful morning at the ballpark?

Please ban the phrase “Green light special.” I’m begging them.

Shit, I somehow missed this Lou Gossett, Jr. news over the weekend. His performance as Sgt. Foley is nothing short of iconic. Absolutely mesmerizing in the role. What a legend of the industry. “Mayo-nnaise.”

Honk if you remember Janet Marie Smith.

A bit of irony in the fact that KC’s ballpark plan died the same day as Ballpark Builder Larry Lucchino. If Larry had been in charge in KC he would have had architects lined up, land purchased, and a 100-page brochure produced before he said one word about it to the public.

Bob Kraft has black friends! He does!

Smoke bombs and flares from the Club América fans at Gillette. Looked great, plus you couldn’t see, which helps watching the Revs. 4-0.

That breath we all hold when Clark’s shot is in the air..

The clock finally struck midnight on Chinderella Kadlick in Mediot Madness. Sad.

Good thing Dick Flavin went first and spared us a Lucchino poem.

Have fun getting that elusive Soupey without Diggs AND Hamlin, Buffalo.

Best bet for the weekend: Huskies & Boilermakers move on in the men’s tourney.

Eerie.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The sights and sounds of London Town.

Happy Birthday to Canadian actress Cobie Smulders.
Maybe we can change the sign Thursday, Collaborative. Walk it off.

March Sadness – The Four You Deplore

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No Fooling.

It’s Felger’s third time getting to the Four You Deplore, his radio partner Tony got this far last tourney as well, TEC and Kadlick are in uncharted territory. Should be interesting.

Polls will stay open until Midnight EDT, 9 PM PDT. Vote responsibly.

March Sadness ’24 – The Hateable Eight

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And now a few loving words about “The Hateable Eight”, courtesy of everyone’s favorite meteorologist enthusiast and aspiring journalist, “Joshua from Marion”…

Region C: Mike Felger (1) vs Chris Gasper (2) “I’m not gay or anything but my idol Michael Felger is one handsome mofo.” – Feb 29, 2024 “Gasper is such a fruitcake but I love him too.” – Dec 1, 2023

Region V: Tom E Curran (1) vs Dan Shaughnessy (6) “Good Saturday evening @tomecurran, just wanted to say I love your hard hitting and intense reporting. As someone who had hoped to be a journalist someday, I admire the way you go about craft. Go #Patriots tomorrow even tho the Colts will probably beat them. Take care man.” – Nov 11, 2023 “Only @Dan_Shaughnessy could bring more darkness to the airwaves of @985TheSportsHub than @adamjones985” – Aug 9, 2018

Region N: Mike Kadlick (16) vs Jim Murray (2) “Notice how there’s been zero response by @mikekadlick. There’s several reasons why. Shhhhhhhh you can hear the crickets once the facts come out. Sit down.” – Jan 7,2024 “@bigjimmurray I’ve met him before and he’s not a POS. He wasn’t putting on a front either. He’s said bad things, we’ve all said bad things but we shouldn’t crucify him for life because of it. I believe in forgiveness. I believe in humanity working things out. If not, hit the button already. – Mar 27, 2024

Region T: Tony Massarotti (1) vs Albert Breer (3) “Hey @TonyMassarotti, I know you’ve been getting a lot of shit lately from callers but never forget you are a great guy and talented individual. I’ve met you before at Newbury Comics and you were super classy and gracious. Most people don’t know the real you. – Nov 9, 2021 “I love me some Breer. He’s a true professional and although some of his predictions may be outlandish, he’s willing to sit and take the heat about them. ” – Oct 26, 2023

Remember to vote, and don’t forget to stop by your local parish and get your feet washed tonight!

Polls will stay open until Midnight EDT.

(Preview courtesy of Patrick from Andover del Norte.)

If you have been enjoying this year’s Mediot Tournament, or the ones previous, or the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, or the articles investigating out local sports media, or the Twitter hijinks of the local collaborative, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free. The Crowdsignal plug-in that tabulates the votes costs money as well. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you. Don’t make a maniac out of me. Thanks for reading.

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