Author Archives: scartsy15

08/06/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on by Leave a comment
Te saludamos, amigo.

Wild Card Fever Grips Hub!

Patriots coach Mike Vrabel on his young very aggressive young players who play very very hard. “ Hey we need you’d for 17.”

I feel like we didn’t need to know the escaped lizard’s name.

Shoutout to the Braintree American team. Braintree has always had nasty baseball at the youth level. Great to see them on the doorstep of Williamsport.

Georges Niang; we hardly knew ye.

I like the concept of wearing a tee shirt from a different beach to the beach.

Beantown is Sweep-town!

There’s nothing more white trash than being the “I know crime!” guy.

Cakes are cooking for Peter Bonerz, Dorian Harewood, Catherine Hicks, Vinnie Vincent, Pat MacDonald, Stepfanie Kramer, Randy DeBarge, Dale Ellis, Michelle Yeoh, Kimberley Conrad, David Robinson, Mike Greenberg, Mike Budenholzer, M. Night Shyamalan, Geri Horner, Vera Ann Farmiga, Soleil Moon Frye, and Leslie Odom Jr.

Tossing dildos on the WNBA court turned into yelling “get in the hole!” in record time.

Hey gang of rollicking reprobates, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Yeah let me get one milquetoast please.”

Garrett Crochet looks like he cooks meth for the Aryan Brotherhood.

Frances Upton was a Ziegfeld Follies Star who signed a 2-picture deal in Hollywood. She came back to the Stage and continued her career.

I thought the didgeridoo was a soulless killing animal.

Abraham Toro has great teeth.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

Imagine Mike Felger being one of your heroes?

Disgusted in the crowd during Becky-Lyra. Spending hundreds of dollars to do the wave in the middle of the match is shit. It was distracting and took away from the match. Unfortunate.

If you can’t afford a roof, just say you can’t afford a roof.

I was going to see The Fantastic Four until I saw how little money it made in its second week.

All the best jobs have Tuesdays off.

Put the stupid fires out Canada or we will start sending tariffs AND acid rain your way again!

Cesar is survived by his dominoes set and cobalt blue Honda Civic.

I study nuclear science
I love my classes
I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses
Things are going great, and they’re only getting better
I’m doing all right, getting good grades
The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades

I’ve got a job waiting for my graduation
Fifty thou a year — buys a lot of beer
Things are going great, and they’re only getting better
I’m doing all right, getting good grades
The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.

News Item: All-Women Broadcast Scores Record Low Ratings, Increase in Presence of Wild Bears.

Thanks to Cesar Osiris for using an alias!

A bidding war for the Connecticut Sun? The WNBA Connecticut Sun?

You can tell how much you owned someone by how much they talk about you after you died.

I don’t know Ma, maybe the phone handsets don’t work because you never put them back on the charger?

Joe Murray just said he puts ketchup on French toast bagel sandwiches? Ew.

Osiris was the god of fertility, agriculture, the afterlife, the dead, resurrection, life, and vegetation in ancient Egyptian religion. And of bad beats, probably.

Honk if you remember Carl Lewis winning four gold medals.

Maybe the Revs should re-sign Gil’s brother while they’re at it?

Applebees owns riblets. The Bell family allegedly owns ‘any given Sunday.’ Advantage: Applebees.

For those updating Patriots rosters at home, please note that CB Tre Avery will wear No. 26, RB JaMycal Hasty has been assigned No. 39, and DT Bryce Ganious gets No. 72.

Hand up, I thought the Sox were gonna lose eight in a row and get right back out of this thing.

Was the Giants-Giants get together in Totowa?

Joon Lee should knock it off, he’s working Chad’s side of Yawkey Way!

Proportional response? Nah.

Best bet for the weekend: pleasant memories shared of our fallen pal, gone but not forgotten.

This statue only looks a little like Tom Brady!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the14 were used in this column. Hug your collaborative a little tightah.

and happy birthday to model/actress Adrianne Curry, winner of the first cycle of America’s Next Top Model.

07/30/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on by One comment
This Dybantsa kid got some ups.

Critical day coming ! Major League Trade Deadline Thursday at 6 pm !!!

The Tanya Ray Fox getting laid off news is great because her entire personality is “I have the job you wish you had.”

Al these celebrity deaths…damn you 2020!

Revs trying to get Matt Turner back? Ivacic is whatever but he’s like the 7th or 8th problem on the team.

Ryne Sandberg. RIP. Only guy to spell Ryan worse than Rusillo.

I hope Brian Scalabrine remembers to mention discovering Cooper Flagg on every NBC Sports & Peacock basketball broadcast.

So the shooter guy, he’s mad about the brain damage, he comes to the city to shoot Goodell, but then he takes an elevator to the wrong floor because of the brain damage. It’s like O Henry wrote a Seinfeld script.

I assume a wig falls of in a WNBA game 3-4 times per game.

Cakes are cooking for Sid Krofft, Bud Selig, Buddy Guy, Paul Anka, Jimmy Cliff, Jeffrey Hammond-Hammond, Arnold Schwarzenegger, William Atherton, Jean Reno, Frank Stallone, Ken Olin, Delta Burke, Bill Cartwright, Clint Hurdle, Kate Bush, Laurence Fishburne, Jay Feaster, Chris Mullin, Lisa Kudrow, Monique Gabrielle, Jürgen Klinsmann, Vivica A. Fox, Terry Crews, Christopher Nolan, Christine Taylor, Tom Green, Hilary Swank, Justin Rose, Hope Solo, Yvonne Strahovski, Kevin Pittsnogle, and Joey King.

Orange Line Reminder: This weekend, August 2 – 3. No Train service between Wellington & Back Bay due to signal work. Use Buses between Wellington & North Station. Use Green Line between North Station & Copley

Little League announcers tend not to harp on errors.

People don’t die in threes—they just get counted off in threes by people who say, “It always happens in threes”.

Lenny DiNardo is the best dressed man in sports analysis.

Bert Bell warned people about CTE back in nineteen dickety-two.

Hey gang, this Week’s Phrase that Pays is, “So she’s a full-on prostitute now, right?”

My poor lawn is the color of a Triscuit.

One of the biggest gambles in life is going to a different barber when yours is on vacation.

My day has been made. Just heard “Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?” on Sirius XM.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

Nothing makes you feel young quite like pregaming in a hotel.

Maybe Tanya Ray thought ‘Mass Layoffs’ meant getting laid off while she was back in Massachusetts?

Honk if you remember Welch’s grape soda.

Driving and listening to the Sox game, and the CSB grad and Flemming refusing to call it Minneapolis or Minnesota but “Minny” almost had me veering into a bridge abutment.

So if Sunday you’re free,
Why don’t you come with me,
And we’ll poison the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we’ll do
In a squirrel or two,
While we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.

We’ll murder them all amid laughter and merriment.
Except for the few we take home to experiment.
My pulse will be quickenin’
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon.
It just takes a smidgin!
To poison a pigeon in the park.

Kenny Anderson didn’t win a championship in the NBA but he is a champion in life.

Charlie McAvoy’s baby boy Rhys is a hoss.

If there was a season to try the Simmons experiment, it’s this upcoming one.

A little paprika will liven up any white food.

Is it safe to ask the question that if Christian Gonzalez can’t figure out this string of being injury prone…is he a bust?

Congratulations to the Baseball Hall of Fame class of 2025.

Jon Meterparel also calls the indoor football for the Mass Pirates in the IFL and he couldn’t be more disinterested and mentally broken discussing these useless games. No disrespect to the Pirates.

For the first time since 1972, Burrillville wins the state title. State champs will play New York State champ next Saturday at 7 in Bristol.

The Hulkster will probably need a custom casket to fit those 24-inch pythons. RIP.

Best bet for the weekend: above-board, gentlemanly baseball between Houston and Boston at Fenway.

And happy birthday to model & actress Jaime Pressly, which is apparently spelled that way.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Feels so good.

Miami Beach BdlG.

07/24/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on by Leave a comment
John. Michael. Osbourne. Think he knew how to rock?

What was up with ESPN’s broadcast of the Red Sox game? Were Philly fans climbing the satellite antenna or stealing the cables for the copper?

You can tell the ones who’ve been fans since his Black Sabbath days by the way the think his name was Ozzie.

Cheryl Miller played against nurses and secretaries.

The media love training camp because every good play has a counterbalancing bad play for them to focus on.

Rich Hill must fucking hate his family.

If you’re looking for the long-time voice of Boston College Football you will find Jon Meterparel doing the famous Cape Cod League All Star game on NESN. Take A Bow! Jon.

Shane Gillis? Is he a member of Mobb Deep?

Yoshida vs. Imanaga as Japan looks on at 8:38 a.m. on a Sunday.

Ben Volin is already in midseason form.

News Item: All UNC football tickets sold out for 1st season in Bill Belichick era. It sure is going to suck when he leaves before the first game because his buyout is only $1m!

I have gone since 1997 saying ou est ta craie, only to now realize that means where is your chalk. Oops. Ou est ta couronne, roi rien?

Cakes are cooking for Dan Hedaya, Chris Sarandon, Jim Armstrong, Michael Richards, Gus Van Sant, Steve Grogan, Robbie Grey, Paul Geary, Julie Krone, Karl Malone, Barry Bonds.*, Doug Liman, Nick Nurse, Kristin Chenoweth, Laura Leighton, Jennifer Lopez, Rick Fox, Rose Byrne, Summer Glau, Anna Paquin, Elisabeth Moss, Xenia Rubinos, Mara Wilson, Daveigh Chase, Evan James Springsteen, Emily Bett Rickards, Kyle Kuzma, and Cailee Spaeny.

I’ll never forget when Like That came out. I was up in NH for work and listened to that song EXCLUSIVELY every time I was in the car. 25 minute commute each way. Like That. Every single time. Who knew it’d do what it did huh?

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Matrices and Dons get special treatment.”

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes while a maintenance train inspects the overhead wires between Airport and Wonderland. Trains may stand by at stations.

How can you pull a “Do you know who I am?” when it’s not even you?

Orange Line Reminder: July 26-27 No Train service between Wellington & Back Bay due to signal work. Use Buses between Wellington & North Station. Use the Green Line between North Station & Copley.

The Running of the Jorts! A tradition like many others.

My two biggest NBA what if’s remain: Sabonis joining Drexler and Portland in 86 or Len Bias living.

I wish I loved anything as much as broads love singing Blues Traveler.

At the podium Patriots All Pro CB Christian Gonzalez, “ Pressure is a priviledge. ”

Crazy, but that’s how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it’s not too late
To learn how to love and forget how to hate

Mental wounds not healing
Life’s a bitter shame

I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train

Owen Pence’s performative WNBA fandom is covering for some heinous shit. Mark my words.

Indoor spiders, why am I still seeing earwigs in the basement? You had one job.

How did Scott Kacsmar ever get a job at a serious football outfit in the first place? Guy could not be more unhinged.

Is Meterparel living with a host family too for the summer like the Cape League players?

My likes keep my IG scroll wall right where I want it, and nobody on my IG is shocked about what that content is, bc they’ll run up on me in person to show me what colors they have.

Honk if you remember Tony Kornheiser’s short lived vanity project, “Listen Up”,

Is Kelsey Plum an autist?

The ESPY’s are now like that mediocre restaurant you pass every so often and say, “that’s still open?”

Underwhelming Helmet Reveal szn,

Create more false equivalencies between Bob Kraft’s uncalled for swipes at Belichick and his responses to them.

Get well soon Mut.

H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot is triggering to kids that had him as a Fantastic Four member instead of The Human Torch in their Saturday morning cartoon.

If the concessionaires and vendors at Fenway go on strike, will you be allowed to sneak a sausage inside?

Justin Fields is limping to the sideline.

Best bet for the weekend: England versus Spain once again, this time at the Women’s Euro Championship.

And the Red Sos win 9-8 in extra innings. Thank you for watching ESPN.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Here comes the night.

And happy birthday to no-introduction-needed Lynda Carter.

« Older Entries Recent Entries »