03/04/26 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Swayman apologized, can we get his daily account back please?
If there’s one consistent through line of fan behavior I’ve observed over the course of attending hundreds of games, it’s that women seem to think the request to remove your caps for the anthem doesn’t apply to them. Very strange.
Bro, sorry if I somehow unfollowed. I would never. I don’t trust this place.
The funniest thing about being a southern transplant in New England is guessing whether something labeled “spicy” on a menu is white people spicy or actually spicy.
Anytime you can bring in a headcase receivah, you gotta do it!
Does anyone else get slightly confused when the Globe Pitchbot pitch isn’t written by Felger and Mazz?
Some important news: New New Scrubs is a 10 out of 10.
Rob Bradford has such a wet voice. When he says Kutter Crawford, I almost feel the spittle on me.
It must be difficult being bisexual when you’re always on vacation.
Cakes are cooking for Adrian Lyne, James Ellroy, Emilio Estefan, Mykelti Williamson, Rick Mast, Patricia Heaton, John Mugabe, Ray Mancini, Steven Weber, Jason Newsted, Khaled Hosseini, Paul W. S. Anderson, Dav Pilkey, Kevin Johnson, Evan Dando, Patsy Kensit, Chaz Bono, Jos Verstappen, Robert Smith, Hawksley Workman, Jason Marsalis, Landon Donovan, Draymond Green, Nick Castellanos, Obi Toppin, and Brooklyn Beckham.
Rewatch both Gold Medal games in full with my 4th of July Playlist playing? Don’t mind if I do.
It’s always a great sign when middle aged broads smile and don’t show their teeth.
Hedy gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’m sorry Aerin Frankel – autocorrect is the worst.”
Neil Sedaka’s got some jams. RIP.
I like when people say “Now I wish Canada won.” Oh yeah, rich white guys from Ontario are totally different from rich white guys from Minnesota!
Quarter zip fleece? Not my scene. I prefer the 3/8th zip.
Orange Line: Through March 8. Shuttle buses are replacing service between Back Bay and Forest Hills for signal work. Commuter Rail is fare-free between Forest Hills and South Station.
Imagine telling a chick you’re taking her to “Cream City” and then ending up in Milwaukee.
I know a place where I can go when I’m alone
Into your arms, whoa, into your arms I can go
I know a place that’s safe and warm from the crowd
Into your arms, whoa, into your arms I can go.
And if I should fall
I know, I won’t be alone
Be alone anymore.
I’m with Hurley on this one. Sumo oranges are the best. So I guess those three weeks on the Rich Shertenlieb Show weren’t entirely, fruitless?
Puerto Ricans fucking love ‘the wave.’
Steroid abuse is known to damage ligaments and tendons.
The Patriots literally didn’t think Alec Pierce could be available.
We have a Scaz AND a Stiz!?
Oh, like the Celtics never had a ‘The Naked I Night’, back during Princess Cheyenne’s heyday.
Khusnutdinov. He’s like a mini-Marchand.
Every woman thinks she’s a badass until it’s time to turn on the AC at Christian Barmore’s house.
Honk if you remember Comet Hale-Bopp.
The entertainment industry having awards shows every other week; what do they think they are, sportswriters?
I might pass on canoeing the Saco next year.
Steve Kerr declared POTS is a fake disease again. These hockey broads are having a terrible week.
I just need Hugo to say, “basketball is life.”
Pajamas at the airport? No. I wear an off the rack suit from Kohl’s when I fly. People think I’m an Air Marshal.
Seems like the deficiencies in the Patriots NFLPA report card could be easily fixed by throwing money at the problems. Oh. Right.
Ah, the famously complex flavors of Duval County, Florida.
Alex Guerrero being Brady’s snitch on the Raiders is glorious. There’s only man who can fix this: Jack Easterby.
Best bet for the weekend: World Baseball Classic Fever Grips Hub.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. God’s Great banana skin. Gonna get ya.
