The 15

Blue Jays got Maple Leaf’d. You hate to see it. I am gutted for Don Mattingly.

Miami GM gets axed, but McDaniel doesn’t? The headline could have been, ‘Dolphins fire 1-and-a-half black men.’

The Bruins Russian contingent is playing like the alternative is being shipped out to the Donetsk salient.

If you forced detainees at Guantanamo Bay to watch “Wake Up Barstool,” it would be considered a grave breach of the Geneva Conventions.

Socci is not good at play by play, but he has no chance with Zolak’s Tourette’s.

Anybody know the best way to directly and immediately pay for some groceries for people who need them right now? Was going to just post a tweet asking if I could Venmo whoever needs it but I don’t want to have to make people publicly respond.

Chaisson needs the Henderson skinny letter nameplate for his jersey. IMO.

Jordan Walsh is the only Celtics player not getting into these games. Is it because he scares people?

Cakes are cooking for Elke Sommer, Art Garfunkel, Pablo Gomez, Debbie Massey, Alvin Gentry, Kris Jenner, Jeff Watson, David Moyse, Michael “Mike” Score, Robert Patrick, Bryan Adams, Ken Coomer, Tilda Swinton, Brian Wheat, Tatum O’Neal, Judy Reyes, Bob Dahl, Sam Rockwell, Jennifer Guthrie, Javy López, Corin Nemec, Dana Jacobson, Jonny Greenwood, Rob Jones, Alexei Yashin, Johnny Damon, Rupert Grant, Jerry Stackhouse, Ryan Adams, Bubba Watson Jr., Nick Folk, Kevin Jonas, and Odell Beckham Jr.

Florida National vs Florida International feels like it should be a bigger rivalry.

So, given the heartbreak of 2023 and all the chances left on the table of we’ll never know… how in the Phil Esposito-autographed, put-the-biscuit-in-the-basket world did Pavel Zacha not shoot the puck wide open in the slot late in the second period of a scoreless game?

I expected the loudmouth Italian with two shitty part time jobs to be an intellectual.

You know the Patriots are back when you start seeing Schwab tweets.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “The fourth costume of the weekend will be the funny one.”

The Dodgers have started a necklace rage. Kiké and Yoshinobu Yamamoto have sapphire tennis ones, custom made. Miguel Rojas has an agate VCA Alhambra one. Joc Pederson’s pearls look lame by comparison.

Green Line: Through November 13 No service between Park St and Medford/Tufts for maintenance. Use shuttles between Medford/Tufts and North Station. Use the Orange Line through downtown. Union Square riders use Route 87 to Lechmere.

Raheem Morris was dressed like he’s invading Ice Station Zebra.

Boston sports media members age worse than pro wrestlers. And many look like them, especially the women.

Are tires important in NASCAR? It seems like they would be.

Loved the bald ump struggling to explain the rule they made up for one guy: “Yeah it’s the World Series and we got a lotta Japs watching tonight so why don’t you fuck right off?”

I can’t believe there are people out there who would voluntarily live and/or work in anything higher than the fourth floor of a building.

If only the Jets had a Geno Smith or Sam Darnold-type. Wait, what?

Regardless of how you feel about Mike McDaniel as a coach, he is the type of leader I would want surrounding my loved one if they were in the NFL.

When people are like you must not be watching the game BABE it’s the St. Louis blues and I’m bi in Boston and its midnight on a Wednesday I’m doing Cher ‘Believe’ on karaoke why would I ever be watching that game?

Littal you big dummy, you can’t join the mile high club in your own bed.

Why would you watch sports if your reaction to somebody breaking a record is “congrats on doing your job.”

I support Lou Whitaker’s candidacy, but it has nothing to do with the fraudulent nonsense non-stat known as WAR.

Cloning your dog is 100000x weirder than letting a 24-year-old tug your prick.

Listened on repeat whole workout. 1 hour 44 minutes of we to install microwave ovens custom kitchen deliveryyyyy.

I found something worse than women’s basketball. Women’s college hockey. Holy cannoli.

Where on God’s green earth does one find that donut croissant?

For all the great anthem singers in Canada, MLB has really whiffed on their O Canada warblers.

Aldi employees cross train in all departments. It creates roster flexibility across all platforms and lets Madge unload a truck once in a while.

I’m sure it’s great for your mental health to have your name be shorthand for abject failure. Ryan Leaf IS Roy Munson.

Lotta opting ins, lotta opting outs, lotta what have you’s.

Hi. A pedantic moment. We are now back in Standard Time. Daylight Saving Time is the summertime one.

Drake Maye, Mac Jones and Jacoby Brissett all win this week. Just missing Jimmy G.

Good at least the Sox are in on everything again and this will provide some needed momentum for Christmas at Fenway sponsored by Stop and Shop.

Sauce Gardner got more picks for the #Jets yesterday (2) than he has for his whole career (1).

If the Dodgers win another World Series when baseball resumes in 2027 will that count as a Threepeat?

I am going to miss Ryen Rotillo no-selling Simmons’ stupid jokes.

Anyone else been just super depressed since we lost Barstool Beef? I find myself looking for him everywhere.

Clamdicapping is a hell of a business.

Won’t you scratch my itch, sweet Annie Rich?
And welcome me back to town
Come out on your porch or step into your parlour
And I’ll tell you how it all went down
Out with the truckers and the kickers and the cowboy angels
And a good saloon in every single town.

Yes and I remembered something you once told me
And I’ll be damned if it did not come true
Well twenty thousand roads I went down, down, down
And they all led me straight back home to you.

On the bright side, some gayball Toronto sportswriter is gonna milk this heartbreaking loss for the next 50 years.

And now Kiner-Falefa has some free time to teach Drake Maye how to slide.

Was Jordon Hudson seen carrying a book containing the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Sherlock Holmes short story ‘Silver Blaze?’

Honk if you remember George Foreman KO of Michael Moorer to regain the Heavyweight championship.

Denny Hamlin: More laps in first place!

Coach Vrabes is gonna make Curtis start drinking again.

Sean McVay has developed a relationship with Joe Mazzulla — and Mazzulla apparently is trying to convince McVay to try jiu jitsu.

Every position is a specialist. That’s why they’re called ‘positions.’

If you make the playoffs and then shop a guy like Skubal you should be forced to sell the team.

Kevin Love is on the Jazz?!

Best bet for the weekend: now the Loyko investigation can begin in earnest over at BSJ!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Sail on silver girl. Sail on by.