The 15

Peter King. A true journalist that could be bought for a lifetime by a ride to an NFL training camp and a plate of cafeteria scrambled eggs. Mr. King plans to spend his retirement with his family and learning to recognize subtle social cues.

You are gonna have to try a little harder Grim Reaper to get ol’ Jeff Howe!

So now the Sox have a Jason Alexander and the grandson of the actor who played Mr. Ross. Maybe Crazy Joe Davola has a nephew who can really hit.

I feel like the owner shouldn’t continually repeat the story about calling the coach a schmuck.

After watching most of two hockey games on TNT, I can’t get “The Rhythm of the Slice” out of my head.

Yes, but storming the court is also awesome.

Cakes are cooking for Mario Andretti, Donnie Iris, Mike Figgis, William Finn, Ricky ‘the Dragon’ Steamboat, Cindy Wilson, Rae Dawn Chong, Djamolidine Abdoujaparov, Tim Goad, Shawn McEachern, Eric Lindros, Jason Aldean, Jamaal Tinsley, Natalia Vodianova, Karolína Kurková, Jelena Janković, and Luka Dončić.

Oh waaaah; I’m so lonely playing basketball for 50 million a year. If only I was in Florida I wouldn’t be as lonely.

Does Fanatics know that their baseball pants are sheer? does Fanatics know that their baseball pants are going to be like a wet t-shirt contest after one inning?

The winners in the NFL salary cap spike? Everyone. But an especially big win for quality players at premium positions. Teams have that much more room to reset the market (hello, Justin Jefferson) or pay very good players near the top of the market.

Imagine thinking we have an ethos.

I am officially convinced the people who run MLB are brain dead idiots. Lots of people like me want to see all 30 ballparks. So smartly I wanted to kill two birds with one stone and see both Baltimore and Washington on the same weekend this summer. However, the geniuses who run the game didn’t schedule both the Orioles and Nationals to be home on the same weekend ONCE ALL SUMMER. Like who the hell is making the decisions down there good grief wake up.

The Red Sox not jumping on making Mike Monaco full time is insane.

A thought while reading the tributes to Peter King. Don’t measure your success on who you stepped over in your climb, but by those you carried along the way. Be respectful of others. I think that’s forgotten lately, and the best tribute to Peter King is to be a Peter King.

Ok but why is CVS the most expensive store for no reason?

Hey gang of ribald comedy enthusiasts, this week’s Phrase that pays is, “Was Meat vaxxed?”

Update: Lonzo Ball is still unable to sprint.

Michael Holley talking about Bill’s hubris is incredible.

Watched a college game tonight with Drew Carter on the call and he’s a billion times better when he’s not giggling and jerking Scalabrine off.

Lemon trees don’t make a sound,
’til branches bend and fruit falls to the ground, baby,
Sweet baby.

Swayman with more rebounds than Carrie Bradshaw.

Does everyone remember that one day like seven years ago when we thought male rompers were gonna be a thing and everyone did the funniest tweets about it? Best day in Twitter history.

India will never make a World Cup in soccer.

We were at the beach.
Everybody had matching towels.
Somebody went under a dock,
And there they saw a rock.
It wasn’t a rock’
It was a rock lobster!

Rock lobster!

Rock lobster!

Rock lobster.
Rock lobster.

You ever get to the bottom of a bag of coffee grounds and realize you have no idea what this one specifically tastes like? Couldn’t pick that flavor from a lineup. Drank it exhausted for two weeks, don’t think I noticed what I was drinking once. Forgettable. It was just…coffee.

Hey @PFF, it looks like you have the Steelers and Rams reversed in Round 2 of your mock draft simulator (unless I’m missing something)

Damian Lillard is a huge loser who NBA fans treat like Kobe because he stayed in Portland longer than expecting before forcing his way out. I understand that NBA fans are by and large the vapidest dummies on earth but Christ. He’s never won shit and he comes off as a whiny little bitch. Play basketball and then go home and play video games with no financial worries? He’s living the life of a ten-year-old. Dame time.

I’ve never seen a single person inside a Mattress Firm.

My favorite thing about having a cat is when I come home we just softly scream at each other for an hour like sometimes us girlies just need to eckkk I think this is why my mom loves my cat so much too.

Fun Fact: the Bruins have Olympia Ice Resurfacers. First NHL team to own a Zamboni, first NHL team to get rid of Zamboni.

I don’t think I can ever leave Boston again because on any given weekday I can text my parents “what’s the move” like we’re frat brothers and they’ll actually respond with a move.

Full moons are one of life’s simple pleasures. They sneak up on you and they’re awesome.

Honk if you remember the final episode of M*A*S*H.

We are heartbroken to report that Flaco the Eurasian Eagle-Owl has died after an apparent collision with a building on West 89th Street in Manhattan.

Johnny Miller thinks Sean McAdam looks terrible.

Leap Day is the perfect time to end the overtime game streak, Bruins. Think about it.

Years back I ran into Don Rickles at Foxwoods and said hi. He made fun of me. Perfect celebrity interaction.

If the NWSL had pro/rel the USWNT would have beaten Mexico.

A: Zibby Puleio.

The Dynasty is the Star Trek V of Patriots documentaries.

Wait, full moons don’t sneak up on you; they happen on a regular and predictable basis.

Arguing that a player should be in the Hall of Fame because he is better than the worst mistake from the past is like arguing that I ate some spoiled fruit yesterday, so I should eat some more spoiled fruit today.

In sports!

B- for coach was the highest grade on the Patriots NFLPA report card. Belichick, owning.

Have more awards shows.

Best bet for the weekend: Celtics keep the win streak alive.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, Old Friend Sixty, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Roam if you want to. Roam around the world.