Turkey fans enjoy giving out gobbles this time of year, but what about America’s fastest, and fattest, growing dietary subgroup the Porksaterians? Well don’t worry Porky, we’re here to satisfy you with a serving of oinks.
Grant Huckvale (a.k.a. Hogdale): Hogdale carved a niche for himself as an overly exuberant alternative broadcaster to the stoic and bland official Red Sox play-by-play teams on NESN and WEEI. Over the summer you’d see Hogdale clips occasionally retweeted into your timeline, usually after Red Sox wins, and you’d think to yourself “I think that’s the tops“. We probably all agree that Hogdale is special. Smash cut to present day, and we are confronted with a hog of a different color. Barstool, in an effort to fill an obese chromosomically challenged void in their lineup, swooped in and waved a lucrative (by part-time minimum waged Iowan standards) five figure contract in front of Hogdale’s snout and lured him into their slaughter house. Now Hogdale’s giant screaming maw is ever present, ever hot takey and ever annoying. To quote Rocky IV: “What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster”. 4 oinks 🐷🐷🐷🐷
That will do pig
Thanksgiving early eaters time Packers at Lions (-2.5) Jungle Kings slice and dice Cheese Heads
Thanksgiving late eaters time Chiefs (-3.5) at Cowboys Squantos feast on the Pilgrims
Thanksgiving overeaters time Bengals at Ravens (-7) Scary Black Birds bury Burrow’s boys
Black Friday Afternoon Nap time Bears at Eagles (-7) Birds bully Bears
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Jaylen is so ripped watching him guard fatty Harden makes it look like he’s guarding Shukri Wright.
The Red Sox were in on Snell. Okay.
If you were one of those folks who took it upon themselves to put a bunch of campaign signs all over the place, I genuinely appreciate your dedication to democracy, no matter whom you backed. But it’s been a week. Go clean up your deal.
If Bill was still working for the Krafts there’s no way he’d be allowed to print in color.
Good showing, RIFC. Get ’em next time.
He’s actually a great guy, great dad, great coach. I’ve watched him break up potential fights before they happened. So instead of 2 dads spend the weekend in prison, Greg controlled the situation. He is a very nice man and a pillar of the community, he volunteers his time.
When my mom knows the Patriots’ personnel better than the offensive coordinator something is very wrong (Granted, she’s also a diehard who rocks a Hannah jersey, but still…)
You can tell that Civian hates all the unwanted attention she gets, because she continually seeks the unwanted attention.
Cakes are cooking for Kathryn Bigelow, Curtis Armstrong, Bill Nye*, William Fichtner, Caroline Kennedy, Mike Scioscia, Steve Oedekerk, Charlie Benante, Mike Bordin, Fisher Stevens, Robin Givens, Fiachna O’Braonáin, Garry Valk, Nick Van Exel, Jon Runyan, Martin Gramatica, Chad Kilger, Jaleel White, Jimmy Rollins, Ricky Carmichael, Alison Pill, Lashana Lynch, and Omar Jimenez.
Yams and sweet potatoes are interchangeable and don’t let anybody tell you different.
Right-hand catching goalies always look like they’re playing with borrowed equipment haha. But Askarov having nice debut for SJ.
I know this is simple math, but doesn’t Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium follow from expansion of the generating function (p*x + q*y)^2? Allele frequency remaining constant follows from renormalization, as expected number of x alleles is 2p and y alleles is 2q.
If you consider the old Browns and the Ravens to be the same franchise, then all 32 NFL franchises have spent at least one week in last place of DVOA since 1979.
Blue Line Update: Normal service has resumed between Wonderland and Orient Heights.
Is Sacco up to the awesome responsibility of coaching the Centennial Game?
Kadlick/Kyles is the new Paxton/Pullman.
Is Frosty Bias on Bluesky? I need assurances that I’ll be reminded daily that Reggie Lewis and Len Bias are dead.
Hey gang of amphibious Spaniards! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I would tongue that ass til I tasted Fall River.”
I am not a Christmas girlie, but having siblings with kids makes it way more fun.
News Item: Bertucci’s is debuting a brand new concept, and its first location will be in Boston.
How am I the least chill guy on Twitter?!
Man, it seems like the Lions and the Cowboys play EVERY Thanksgiving!
After all the jacks are in their boxes And the clowns have all gone to bed You can hear happiness Staggering on down the street Footprints dressed in red And the wind whispers “Mary.”
All the suckers getting to the airport early means you can get there 55 minutes before your flight leaves.
Honk if you think Ted Williams should have won the 1941and 1947 AL MVP Award.
Sam Kennedy would like you to know that the Sox are just so darn disappointed Snell decided to go with another offer but that coming this spring to America’s favorite ballpark you can get a Guy Fieri smash burger and a cup of New England’s favorite Legal Seafood chowder for only $89!
ESPN putting out playoff rankings every week that are 100% meaningless and using that as an excuse to do a segment where Paul Finebaum yells about it is terrorism.
Does the Herald still run ‘Clip’ Callahan’s HS football article every Thanksgiving?
Bit of a stumble out of the gates for UConn MBB.
Is Bill James okay?
Breaking: Daniel Jones to sign with Vikings’ practice squad after release from Giants, per sources.
Best bet for the weekend: Open Newbury: Holiday Stroll! Join us for car-free shopping and holiday fun on Sunday, December 1, and Sunday, December 8. Fun!
Anyone who false starts is a Patriots offensive lineman. Anyone that commits holding is a well-disciplined Patriots offensive lineman.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW‘s Lazslo Panaflex, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. You want it all, but you can’t have it (yeah, yeah, yeah) It’s in your face, but you can’t grab it (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Jeanne Crane and friend wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.
In honor of the big (BIG!) PRE INFRA-BLACK FRIDAY sale at the official the 15 store, Football Cat is generously giving out free money – in the form of bonus Thanksgiving picks. What better way to thank your host or hostess than with a high quality “It’s Called #Owning” coffee mug or the ever popular Jonathon t-shirt?
Shop early and often, and remember to tell them that Football Cat sent you.
EARLY EATERS TIME Bears at Lions (-10.5) Jungle Kings feast on roasted ursine knee caps
All shirts are available in men’s sizes from Medium all the way up to 3XL.
LATE EATERS TIME Giants at Cowboys (-3) Pokes pop Pituitaries
A Hall of Fame owner with Hall of Fame fashion sense
SECOND DINNER TIME Dolphins at Packers (-3.5) Meat men pack Dolphins into a Tua casserole
Coach Drip gets it
BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL Raiders at Chiefs (-12.5) The Black Hole boys get black eyes on Black Friday
He tells his barber “Give me the Jonathan”
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
For first-time hosts, or even experienced cooks, the Thanksgiving turkey can be a nerve-wracking dish to prepare once a year. Football Cat has some tips to reduce any anxiety over cooking your turkey this year.
Thawing Turkey Safely There are two safe ways to thaw a turkey: in the refrigerator or in cold water. Thawing a frozen turkey on the kitchen counter, in hot water, or in the garage is not safe. Even though the center of the package may still be frozen, the outer layer of the food is in the Danger Zone between 40 and 140 degrees F — a temperature range where food-borne bacteria multiply rapidly. No matter which method you use, thawing a turkey takes time.
Cooking Turkey Safely Regardless of how your turkey is cooked, insert a food thermometer into the thickest part of the breast, the innermost part of the wing and the innermost part of the thigh to check that its internal temperature at all three spots is at 165 degrees F.
Need more information about Thanksgiving food safety? Call Football Cat’s Meat and Poultry Hotline at 888-MPHotline (888-674-6854). Football Cat’s Meat and Poultry Hotline will be open on Thanksgiving Day from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. EST.
Operators are standing by
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Chiefs (-11) at Panthers Scary black cats catch the Chiefs licking their wounds
It’s not what you think!
Vikings (-3.5) at Bears Da’ Bears are da’ done
Titans at Texans (-7.5) Oilers learn you can’t go home again
Flipping the Nixon to the fine folks in Houston
Lions (-8) at Colts Colts get caught looking ahead to their Week 13 bye week
Patriots at Dolphins (-7) Tua smears Mayo
It has the Patriots’ beat writers seal of approval!
Buccaneers (-5) at Giants Tommy Cutlets is back, ba da bing! Giants still lose.
The Giants aren’t winning this game! I don’t care how many dago guinea wop greaseball goombahs come out of the woodwork!
Cowboys at Commanders (-10) Commies kick the ever living shit out of the Cowboys.
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Broncos at Raiders (-5) Bo Nix is YOUR Rookie of Year!
I hope his grandchildren can make it to the ceremony.
49ers at Packers (-2) Packers pulverize Prospectors
Cardinals (-1) at Seahawks Pretty Red Birds roast the Fake Sea Birds
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Eagles (-3) at Rams American Birds soar high in the City of Angels
A belated Happy 40th Anniversary to Sam the Olympic Eagle
MONDAY PROWL TIME Ravens (-3) at Chargers Scary Black Birds get shocked
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The 15 