Print your own card and play along at home during the intro presser! (stick tap @SportyRMcKenzie)
Before they bought the team the Krafts were probably shitty fans too. ‘Celebrity caller’ level knee-jerk dinks.
Those half Patriots half Cowboys hoodies are gonna go crazy.
The Good Kid is now in sole possession of 10th place in all time Bruins scoring list.
When Tom Werner said, ‘full throttle’, he meant, ‘due to a scheduling conflict, John W. Henry will be unable to attend the Winter Weekend event.’
WembyamaMania comes to TDGarden!
I don’t like NFL playoff games on Mondays (the originally scheduled one). They could have had 3 games Saturday, 3 games Sunday, and not stuck anyone with a short week in the postseason. It doesn’t seem fair.
Not sure why these players don’t copy Brady and go with a 1-millimeter full body wetsuit. Wouldn’t even know its cold and 1mm is not restrictive at all.
If you’re not Norwegian, you’re Mexican.
Cakes are cooking for James Earl Jones, Todd Susman, Steve Earle, Mick Taylor, Katalin Kariko, Steve Harvey, Chili Davis, Jim Carrey, Shabba Ranks, Jeremy Roenick, Derrick Mason, Zooey Deschanel, Dwyane Wade, Calvin Harris, and Jake Paul.
That is what the Eagles get for putting an offensive coordinator in charge of the defense.
The wrong local team is going full throttle.
I don’t think we appreciate enough how the centers know to snap the ball at a time it won’t bounce off the guy in motion.
Green Line Reminder: No train service between North Station and Babcock St (B), Kenmore (C+D), and Heath St (E) due to track work. Use buses to Copley/Back Bay. Use Orange Line between Back Bay and North Station. Regular service will resume Jan. 29.
Imagine being such a lazy piece of shit that you have to sniff chocolate instead of eating it.
This made me smiggle (that’s a word I made up, it’s smile + giggle)
I have been cancelled he screamed on ESPN while wearing a wifebeater.
Boston: hold my iced Dunkies.
So when is the town hall portion of this year’s Red Sox Winter Weekend?
A major offensive shakeup: The Saints are moving on from OC Pete Carmichael, per me and Tom Pelissero, changing their offense for the first time since 2009.
Hey gang of fabulous fabulists, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I’m strong, athletic, and savvy.”
Has there ever been a major league baseball player who was older than the sitting President?
I enjoyed The Holdovers. My wife found it depressing. I thought it was uplifting. Maybe it was both. Either way, amazing actors.
The carousel is still churning.
Jonathan watching Succession and taking notes like it’s a documentary.
Did Football Cat go 5 for 6 over Super Wild Card Weekend?
Update: Brandon Carlo, Derek Forbort, Matt Poitras, and Linus Ullmark are practicing.
Hear me out here. I would respect the Kyed and Wojak expose from last week a lot more if they actually had to work for it, and weren’t just running PR for Mayo et al.
I think that’s the Snapchat logo above the Rams nameplates. Every. Single. Time.
Help me, baby, ain’t no stranger. Help me, baby, ain’t no stranger. Help me, baby, ain’t no stranger.
Can’t you hear me knockin’? Ahh, are you safe asleep? Can’t you hear me knockin’? Yeah, down the gas light street, now. Can’t you hear me knockin’? Yeah, throw me down the keys, Alright now.
Hear me ringin’ big bell tolls. Hear me singin’ soft and low. I’ve been beggin’ on my knees. I’ve been kickin’, help me, please.
The Marcus Stroman return home to New York has its potentil story if his 2d half hip issue(24 IP, after 112.2 in 1st is cured):father Earl a New York policeman, HS Jr. Jayden Duke-bound SS w/R.Cano comp Height Doesn’t Measure Heat Foundation msgical. Cape 2010-11? 34 IP, 0 R
Better Call Saul and Cat Detective, both shut out in Emmy voting. Like equals!
That’s terrible dirt.
Honk if you remember ‘Goodnight Beantown.’
Breakfast lasagna!
Green Bay QB Jordan Love’s girlfriend’s father is Boston College alum Ron Stone.
Feel better, cupcake. You sound like Gina Gershon.
Tom Caron must stare out the window all winter waiting for spring training to start.
Jon Bon Jovi is lucky he got to ring the lighthouse bell when he did.
Welcome back, Anita.
To me, the essence of Bill Belichick is a visor, a whistle wrapped around his finger and teaching moments in late July. Checking on punt protection in a near corner of one practice field. Pulling an undrafted rookie aside for a pointer or two in a far corner of another field…
I’m sure eventually Dak will have more playoff wins than Ryan Tannehill.
Get up, Jim Irsay.
Happy trails, Coach Murphy.
Best bet for the weekend: a spirited fake QB slide competition in Buffalo.
This is a good billboard; no puzzling owl references.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Stop what’s goin’ on, stop what’s goin’ wrong. You better listen from now on.
And Happy Birthday to singer, songwriter, guitarist, author, and actress Susanna Hoffs.
Football Cat has graciously agreed to work the playoffs after very successful regular season. And so:
SATURDAY SUNSET
Browns (-2.5) at Texans
Tricksters versus wildcatters. ‘Stroud’ sounds like a cat warning growl, ‘Flacco’ sounds like one coughing up a hairball. Texans win.
SATURDAY PROWLTIME
Dolphins at Chiefs (-4.5)
Stupidly cold weather favors neither team. So playoff experience wins out. Kansas City gets the W.
If there are any other cheapskates interested in watching the Chiefs-Dolphins game you can get Peacock for free if you sign up for a free 2 week trial of Instacart+ (whatver that is). You don’t need to give them any real info, I just signed up with my burner email address and a fake name; I used’Morris Katz.’
SUNDAY SUNSET
Packers at Cowboys (-7.5)
Cows undefeated at home. Will that matter? Of course it will! Big D big W.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME
Rams at Lions (-3)
Sorry Shovey Sheep, but this is the only cat team in the playoffs. I’m going to be parochial.
MONDAY SUNSET
Steelers at Bills (-10)
Bisons don’t deserve to win after getting the game moved because of snow. But deserve got nothing to do with it.
Snow Cat. See what I did there?
MONDAY PROWLTIME
Eagles (-3) at Buccaneers
Buccaneers have momentum, Philly does not. The Pewter Privateers win at home.
Egads.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Lots of teams resting starters in advance of the playoffs this week. I can understand that.
SATURDAY SUNSET
Steelers (-4) at Ravens
Will the Evil Birds take the gaspipe in the hopes the spirits conspire to keep Buffalo out of the ‘yoffs? Yes.
SATURDAY PROWLTIME
Texans (-1) at Colts
Wildcat Texans round up the Little Horsies.
SUNDAY LUNCHTIME
Buccaneers (-4.5) at Panthers
Bad year for the luckless Black Cats ends as it began.
Browns at Bengals (-7)
Stripey Cats are desperate, Browns have put the bag of tricks away until the playoffs. Cincy wins.
Vikings at Lions (-3.5)
Jungle Kings don’t want to go 3-3 in the division and won’t.
Jets at Patriots (-2)
Prediction: Pats Pirouette Past Planes
Falcons at Saints (-3)
The animals of God’s creation inhabit the skies, the earth, and the sea. They share in the ways of human beings. They have a part in our lives. Francis of Assisi recognized this when he called the animals, wild and tame, his brothers and sisters. Nevertheless, Saints win.
Jaguars (-5) at Titans
Spotted Cats disrespect the Titans.
Seahawks (-2.5) at Cardinals
Cardinals are real birds. Seahawks are not. Nevertheless, the False Birds win.
SUNDAY SUNSET
Bears at Packers (-3)
Da. Bears. Da Win.
Chiefs at Chargers (-3.5)
Chiefs win because of course they do.
Broncos at Raiders (-3)
This is the game that ends in a tie.
Eagles (-5) at Giants
Any NFC East team can beat any other NFC East team. Giants prove this in bad weather against the Phils.
Rams at 49ers (-4)
No Brock Purrdy, no matter? Not if the Shovey Sheep have anything to say about it. Rams win.
Cowboys (-4) at Commanders
Cowpokes want the #2 Seed. Won’t need much fancy ropin’ to get it.
SUNDAY PROWLTIME
Bills (-3) at Dolphins
Prediction: Payables Pork Porps.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Red Sox outfielder Alex Verdugo felt snubbed after not being selected to the American League All-Star team.
Your New England Free Jacks won the Major League Rugby Championship.
The first thing they teach you in rehab is to attempt to reverse any accountability you’ve taken. Well played, Huggins.
“Rusty Sullivan” sounds like something DJ Bean pays for in the bathroom of a Southie bar.
Dan Orlovsky is the worst person UConn Athletics has foisted onto society including Tate George being in the clink and Johnny McEntee spearheading January 6.
Very few can make a fire boom bap beat with no samples.
“Bob Huggins” is the name DJ Bean uses when he gives out Rusty Sullivans.
Jeff Passan is really odd-looking. He’s like a ventriloquist’s dummy from the 1950’s.
We officially have a surplus of pitchbots.
It’s possible to take the dick and not tweet about it.
It’s almost as if Dug Kyed was lying when he said he had a bunch of job offers and loved being at A to Z Sports.
If you like athletic blondes with ponytails then that Norway – New Zealand Women’s World Cup game was for you. Hope you caught it live.
People are ready to blow their fucking brains out when Belichick brings Patricia and Judge back but cream their shorts when the same lazy media blowhards take turns hiring each other at their fake publications.
The sheer magnitude of the landscape bewildering to the league is beyond the pale of comprehensive.
It’s apparently very hard for players to understand the NFL’s “don’t bet on football games” rule.
Kendra is bussin’.
Bruce Arena said Doris Burke isn’t very good at her job. He’s done.
Creating a false W-2 is a crime.
If Alex Morgan’s exasperated looks were goals the US would have comfortably been atop Group E.
Bluesky is still in beta.
Jayson Tatum lets Deuce go out in the direct sunlight? I figured he was like the children in that Nicole Kidman haunted house movie.
Had no idea Paxton had a knuckle curve.
A summer party without a cake…is like a rainy day.
The Sox stumbling out of the gate post trade deadline after winning just enough to cancel the fire sale was the most predictable result ever.
Lipless coffee pots! Million-dollar idea.
Crows are the only birds that attack eagles then eagles fly high and the crows fall off and die.
If you put native corn on the grill that is a complete waste.
Megan Rapinoe was voted ‘Most Likely to become one of Immortan Joe’s Imperators’ by the Aussie locals.
Every NBA player have a fucking podcast.
How are we supposed to know you are trying to get to Fenway Park for work if you don’t mention that’s where you’re going.
Penn Entertainment got the reach and cachet of ESPN, Portnoy got to keep all the great big fat persons, the overage interchangeable frat bros, and Jerry Thornton. What a win! #GoPresGo
Dugie thinks being lazy makes him more authentically Mexican.
Alexi Lalas is why they hate us.
I was growing concerned Trev Story was going to barricade himself in the Table Talk Pies building rather than report to Fenway.
The Governor of Hawaii is named Josh Green. Any state can have a ‘Josh Green’. Hawaii should have a guy named like, ‘Governor Haunapukamana’lei’lei.’
Tom Brady becomes part owner of Birmingham City FC. Related, Boston Globe reporter Bob Hohler is on a plane en route to Birmingham Airport.
You’re supposed to recycle the cardboard box the trash bags are packaged in you vapid bint.
Wander Franco is going to be so vindicated when it’s revealed the gal had a Dominican birth certificate and she’s actually six months older than he is.
A cat is only itself, representative of the strong forces of life that won’t let go.
All the worst people were emotionally invested in the Ravens meaningless ‘streak’.
Bucko Kilroy has a grandson named Gavin.
Our President is older than the American League MVP in 1968, or the NL MVP from 1970.
There are no cool people that take ketamine.
‘Has the persona of an Anti-Zionist Muhammad Ali’ was on all of Len Bias’s scouting reports.
Pascoag has a microbrewery.
If you have no backup quarterbacks, you really don’t have any backup quarterbacks.
Morey Hershgordon isn’t real and he cannot hurt you.
Publix says it will no longer make hurricane themed cakes due to sensitivity concerns.
Houck unraveled quickly.
The Galactic Empire apparently had a dress code Moff that forbade women to wear tight pants.
Mac knows he has to be better.
The Dodgers fix dudes left and right with grips while the Sox can’t even manage a bullpen correctly.
Bill Lee is too old for baseball. He should run for the Senate.
I hate the ‘Coach Prime’ nickname more than the ‘Shady’, ‘Hollywood’, and ‘Wink’ ones put together.
Terry Pegula and Jerry Jones seem nice.
There’s nothing like riding an electric bicycle to a game of pickleball.
Jeff Passan should make a baseball bat and a ventriloquist dummy using the tree branch that fell on him.
Thankfully Tom Caron pronounced “Negro Leagues Museum” flawlessly.
Now that Gil Brandt’s dead, just imagine all the players we’ll learn he called Upton Bell about.
It must have been a short discussion about the IR between JuJu and the team.
WWE wrestler Test died in 2009? Cross him off, then.
You don’t need and most likely cannot handle a Belgian Malinois. don’t do it.
‘Sale and Paxton need eight days of inaction’ could be the Hub’s ‘Spahn and Sain and pray for rain’ of the 21st century.
The Red Sox decided to play G-d and made Chaim Bloom their Moses: You can lead us through the desert, but you won’t be the one to take us to the Promised Land.
Bob Lobel’s legs look like they should be hanging in a Chinese meat shop.
Lauren Boebert is no Alanis Morissette.
The Bruins Centennial Jersey needed more stripes on the sleeves.
Zo doesn’t like the play calls on third down. He doesn’t have a better play in mind, he just thinks they should always pick up the first.
This pizza thing is going to be huge. give it time.
Artie T is the biggest needle mover in the world of banana boxes.
Tony Massarotti has more suspensions than Marchand in the past year, but yeah, he shouldn’t have been named captain.
Mike Lombardi is the Vince Lombardi of spam tweets.
We’re in New England. Stop saying y’all.
Curt Schilling is like Pete Rose, in that every time you feel like you’re ready to start defending him again, he goes back to his looney room and comes out with another treasure.
The people who mocked Belichick as being a “genius” for 20 years are also the same people who think he should be able to completely rebuild the team in four. In other words, fucking idiots.
Fall Out Boy covering Billy Joel is why they hate us.
Artificial Intelligence program’s inability to correctly render human hands must give Larry Johnson some small comfort.
All weed is gay now.
Everyone knows your crazy conspiracy theory being true is an absolute defense to witness intimidation.
Four-cylinder Honda’s are going to get very pricey again.
Boston Sports Journal is like a graveyard for once-overpaid scribes who don’t know they’re dead yet.
Abby has multiple jobs. Dickerson has no job.
Jon Smoltz called Game Seven a “must win” for the Astros. Okay.
That stupid Mike McDaniel watch story couldn’t be more tailored to impress the credulous NFL media had it been created in a lab.
Yarmouth Massachusetts is a noted hot spot for comedy in October.
The Sara Civian fan club is strong and we stan.
Being a fired NFL head coach is the best job in the world. Josh McDaniels? He lasted longer in Vegas than than Greg Bedard and he’s still getting paid.
We play hard around here.
During the 1980’s Bert Breer had a General Motors Starter jacket.
Add ‘plastered’ to the football lingo.
You know you’ve crushed branding your podcast network when you need to include a parenthetical on how to pronounce it.
Fox has Stink and Pink on the same NFL broadcast crew.
Megan Rapinoe is committed to Achilles tendon injury equity.
Will Smith’s career has been going great since he faked that Chris Rock slap.
Charissa Thompson isn’t the first to spill too much personal information in an effort to impress Big Cat.
WEEI seems at peace with never coming close to respectable ratings.
Bench guys need to bring the psycho energy.
Jack Edwards speaks like he’s hitting the middle button on predictive text.
I’m hearing the Red Sox are in on everyone.
It took a 7’3″ blindingly white guy for Jaylen to finally be able to see an open teammate.
We live for the fray.
“Fat Lunatic Tells Mayor to ‘Go Back to China’” probably would have made the news.
Sports Illustrated probably should have known Olivia0917693516 didn’t actually write those articles.
Nothing says “moving on to the 21st century” quite like getting fired by NFL Network and then writing for Bedard’s shitty website.
Something that never existed cannot recur.
Cris Collinsworth owns PFF and every time he appears on national television, he devalues his investment.
The Steve McNair murder ottoman claimed another one.
If Shohei Ohtani had a sense of humor, he would have made his surprise announcement on December 7th.
Max Strus looks like he sells MDMA.
If you combine this IST championship with the Lakers bubble championship, that’s almost like one whole championship.
Dan Orlovsky is the NFL’s Myrna Carter of advice giving.
We all fit the profile.
Hardy goes from being the third guy on the midday to being the solo host next time Toucher has a relapse of (cough) “throat issues”.
Everybody has a price. Cerrone Battle’s is just really low.
Dart Adams’ nephew is 6’6″.
I never realized how many loser fans Ted Johnson has.
CeeDee Lamb is a Top 1000 NFL WR.
Wacky Mahomes and Kelce commercials just hit different when they suck.
Chris Sale was somebody’s favorite player.
Thanks to all our regular readers, our irregular readers, and the bots. See you in 2024.
These Thurrsday Night games are tough on a cat, and let’s be honest here, these games are tough on everyone except maybe the players. If the NFL cared about the fans they’d put these games on a real streaming service like Pluto TV. I would have picked the Eagles to win 31-28, who could have foreseen a 61 yard FG. Certainly not me, I’m just a cat.
On to Sunday..
Raiders at Bills (-8.5)
The sky was definitely falling on Buffalo sportz radio this week. Apparently Josh Allen likes to spray the ball around like me when I’m marking my territory. With their first win of the season Bills fans’ litterboxes should be fresher next week.
Packers (-1) at Falcons
As a cat I am drawn to the irresistible taste of cheese, despite it being bad for me. I pick the Packers, and I feel shame.
Ravens at Bengals (-3.5)
Whenever you get a cat vs bird match-up you’ve got to go with the cat every time.
Seahawks at Lions (-5.5)
I’m sure you’ll agree that Seattle is a one of those cities that intrigues you, but you’ll still probably never visit. My fellow felines will easily brush aside those soggy Starbucks-swilling Seahawks.
Colts (-1) at Texans
AFC South fever, catch it! I predict a scoreless tie.
Chiefs (-3.5) at Jaguars
FACT: Andy Reid stinks without Eric Bieniemy. Enjoy that 0-2 start KC.
Bears at Buccaneers (-2.5)
Hey all turncoat former Patriots fans, where are your Buccaneers this week? Still under your bucking hat! Ha ha ha! Classic cat joke. Da Bucs beat da Bears.
Chargers (-3) at Titans
Justin Herbert is the greatest QB who has never won anything since Philip Rivers. Go Tits!
Sunday 4 PMish:
Giants (-5.5) at Cardinals
The football Giants win and Daniel Jones starts to earn some of that guaranteed $82 million. <Let’s all take a break for a laugh!>
49ers (-7.5) at Rams
Am I going to pick against Brock Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdy? No chance.
Jets at Cowboys (-9.5)
Look for Zach Wilson to return to form and pee his pants. Pokes over Planes.
Commanders at Broncos (-3.5)
I hear the new owners of the Washington football team are thinking about yet another name change. I believe “Cats” may be available, thank me later. Washington Cats pull off the road win!
Sunday Night/Monday Night:
Dolphins (-3) at Patriots
Good ol’ Pat Patriot devours Tuna Tagovailoa. Dolphin safe my ass, his brain is scrambled.
Looks like we’ve got two overlapping Monday Night games! You’ve outdone yourself this time Roger Goodell, you marketing genius.
Saints (-3) at Panthers
If there wasn’t a cat team playing in this game I wouldn’t even bother to make a pick. Much like Jimmy Taylor, I’ve got Carolina in my mind.
Browns (-2) at Steelers
Is there a secret NFL bylaw that the requires at least one AFC North team to start a sexual deviant at QB? I enjoy a good poop (like you don’t!), and poop is brown, so go Browns.
.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Note: It’s been a head in my hands type of week. Not feeling well physically or mentally. Had to take off work and I feel so bad about it. I’ll be with you guys 100% moving forward tho. It sucks having to take a mental health breather but I need it.
Every high school had at leat one a front-running asshole who wore one of these.
Well folks, the Patriots did the impossible last Sunday at Houston. They came out victorious. With major gaps on the offensive line due to injury and irresponsibility, New England was able to improve to 2-3. Unfortunately, they are in a dogfight currently for the last Wild Card space with a mere twelve games left on the schedule.
Fat. Fast.
America’s team comes to town on Sunday with weapons that most Patriots fans would covet. There will certainly be a challenge in that Dallas comes to the ‘boro with a two headed attack with explosive players in each facet of the game. (Editor’s Note: there are, of course, three facets to the game) Ezekiel Elliot comes in boasting a massive stature, as if he has been training in a Woburn office park. CeeDee Lamb is a dynamic receiver, begging the question again if the Patriots will ever be able to draft a quality downfield player.
Knowing Mike McCarthy, the Cowboys will do the opposite of what they should do in a game plan in Foxboro. Instead of running the ball consistently, they’ll likely look to pass. Matthew Judon, who has been a force on the DL, will be called upon to have another great game if the Patriots look to have a chance against America’s Team.
Wha?
Much like a GRAFF on cake, look for New England to play a 3-4 hybrid base on Sunday in an effort to confuse Dak Prescott. Prescott’s struggles have been against teams like the Patriots, and New England’s disciplined front will surely pose a threat to him, even given his weaponz.
URI is lucky Tyga didn’t need this needy schmuck’s plane this weekend.
The Patriots owner, who ran away like a Braintree lawyer from an underling during deflategate, let the uRI Typical football team use the team’s plane to their game this weekend against Towson. This leaves many questioning where the ownership is during the team’s toughest time. Their former HOF QB has left, because the team gave up on him. No free agents want to play in the area, mainly due to race related incidents on local radio outlets. Yet, the owner seems to think it’s a good idea to just wax poetic with state schools. Playing grabass with people who will be living on Aquidneck island in 3 years, and pulling over at the 7-11 on 138 in an effort to not poop in the car.
Spicy!
In spite of what local podcasts may spew, the Texans were not a good team. That said, there is some value in winning on the road. At the post game press conference, Matt Judon mentioned how it was good to get a win like that, as the team felt that they were playing good ball. In spite of what the pundits say, this has been the case. Ultimately, the team is a fumble and 3’ on a FG attempt away from being 4-1, but close only counts in horseshoes and hydrogen bombs.
Close enough.
All the world will be watching on Sunday. It should be a good matchup. Give me the home team and the points. Patriots 21-14.
A special shout out to friend of the column SteveR. Made good on his wager in regard to the TB Bucs winning by more than 21 points a few weeks back. Please consider a donation to your local animal rescue shelter.
A short home dog?
S. Tzu-Pei is an Intern and Lead NFL Writer for The15.
Photo credit goes to Jae C. Hong/ Associated Press
In my 2nd part of Fantasy Football: Rules, Studs, Duds, and Sleepers you get less rules but more players to think about drafting. I can’t give out all my rules but I have no problem letting you know which players I’m high and low on. You’ll notice I’ve omitted the obvious players like Mahomes, Kittle, Kelce, etc but hopefully this can help give you some sense of a guide.
Rules:
Always put a running back as your flex: This a rule I stand by season after season and one that some may differ from. Running backs are usually rushing and passing options, therefore I view them as more valuable than stud WR’s. I’ve been burned in the past by good running backs in the flex and won’t let it happen again.
Steal your bench quarterback early: A lot of people don’t put much value in the bench QB but I’ve always valued the position. Stud QB’s can sometimes be very injury prone and it doesn’t hurt to have a good backup option in the most important position. Don’t get burned by not following this rule.
Don’t wait to draft a kicker: This rule is the one a lot of people don’t follow and it burns them often. A good kicker is always a valuable commodity and gives the drafter a sense of relief when one is to be had.
Studs:
QB- Tom Brady- Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The GOAT is an obvious stud and has the most weapons in the NFL to throw to. Coming off of a Super Bowl victory last season, he seems even hungrier this year to repeat. It is a virtual guarantee Brady will throw for 300+ yards and 2+ TD’s a game. Take this one to the bank.
QB- Matthew Stafford- Los Angeles Rams: This one may be surprising but I see Stafford poised to have a great season with the Rams. He has an ungraded room of playmakers and was never a bad option in Fantasy Football even with the Lions. Stafford should cut down on INT’s with the Rams and his numbers should go through the roof.
QB- Joe Burrow- Cincinnati Bengals: Burrow got injured last season but could be a stud if you draft him as your backup QB. By your point in the draft, you should absolutely have a better QB than Burrow but if not, he’s still gonna put up good numbers. Of the 2nd year quarterbacks, Burrow is primed to have the best season.
RB- Jonathan Taylor- Indianapolis Colts: With Carson Wentz under center for the Colts, I don’t see that passing offense doing too well. The Colts should rely on Taylor due to this fact. Regardless of the QB, Taylor is a good fantasy RB option year after year.
RB- Aaron Jones- Green Bay Packers: Aaron Jones emerged as a stud last season and I think he’ll be even better this year. The Packers like to play game control football and with a RB like Jones- that allows them to do so. A versatile runner, look for Jones to hit the “home run” rush on occasion as well.
RB- Josh Jacobs- Las Vegas Raiders: Jacobs was dynamite last year and look for another great season to follow. An every down running back, Jacobs will get a lot of touches for the Raiders. This may be a running back that can be “stolen” in a later round if possible.
WR- Justin Jefferson- Minnesota Vikings: Jefferson is can’t miss in drafts this year. Although, I’m not a big fan of Kirk Cousins, Jefferson will be the best WR on the Vikings by a landslide. In a PPR or non-PPR league Jefferson should be someone you look to grab early.
WR- Mike Evans- Tampa Bay Buccaneers: With 70 receptions, 1,006 yards, and 13 touchdowns many fantasy football owners of this player were happy in 2020. Even though the Bucs are loaded with offensive weapons, do not shy away from drafting Evans. Evans is sure handed and can get yards after the catch so he is always a big threat to any defense.
TE- Kyle Pitts- Atlanta Falcons: I told everyone to draft Pitts this season for many reasons. First off, even coming out of college, Pitts is NFL ready physically and mentally. Also take into consideration that after losing Julio Jones this offseason that Pitts will be more relied upon. Matt Ryan doesn’t have much to throw to anymore but Pitts will be a guaranteed stud.
TE- Noah Fant- Denver Broncos: I drafted Noah Fant in a few of my leagues because I feel he is a great option to throw to whomever the Broncos QB may end up being. Tallying 62 receptions for 673 yards and 3 TD’s last season, Fant will be even more productive this year. Not only is Fant a redzone target- he’ll be a good option on every down.
D/ST’s: Bucs: This defense should be tops in the league this season. With studs in the secondary and front seven, you can’t go wrong with drafting this team. Scoop them up as soon as you can.
D/ST’s:Washington Football Team: This side of the ball might see a lot of time but that only allows them more opportunities. With easily the best front seven in the NFL, look for this team to be top 5 in overall defense. Similar to the Bucs, this team is loaded on defense and will not disappoint.
K- Jason Myers- Seattle Seahawks: Myers is a steady kicker plus Seattle may have to settle for field goals early on in this season. Teams are gonna lock down on Tyler Lockett and DK Metcalf so drives may stall. After Tucker and Butker- I’d take Myers.
K- Tyler Bass- Buffalo Bills: This season Bass will not only have field goal opportunities but many extra point tries. With a steady leg from 50 yards or beyond, Bass could shock a lot of fantasy owners this year. If any other stud kicker I mentioned is gone- take this guy.
K- Rodrigo Blackenship- Indianapolis Colts: I typically don’t like going with Colts players but this guy should have MANY opportunities. Not from extra point but from long distance- Blackenship should bring you home in your kicker position.
Surprisingly Juju is a Dud for me this season.
Duds:
QB- Tyrod Taylor- Houston Texans: Named newest starter of the Texans, I don’t expect Taylor to shine in any facet this season. He’s been a dud for multiple seasons and nothing is changing my mind. Taylor throws a lot of picks and indecisive with the ball- if you draft him you’re a moron.
QB- Jalen Hurts- Philadelphia Eagles: Now you won’t be a moron if you draft Hurts as a bench QB but look for him to have an inconsistent season. Out of the top quarterbacks who were drafted, I expect Hurts to have the worst season. Maybe I’ll be proven wrong but I think I’ll be on the right side of history here.
QB- Kirk Cousins- Minnesota Vikings: Sure, Cousins can hand the ball off to Dalvin Cook and throw it to Justin Jefferson and Adam Thielen but I’ve never been a fan of his. Always good for an untimely interception- Cousins is not a guy I would hitch my wagon to. His best years are behind him.
RB- Christian McCaffrey- Carolina Panthers: McCaffrey is good when he’s healthy but when is that? Christian missed 13 games in 2020 and is now suffering quad, thigh, and ankle injuries. A small running back, McCaffrey can take a lot of big hits across the open field. I may be dead wrong about him this season but all signs point to that I won’t be.
RB- David Montgomery- Chicago Bears: You’d think the Bears would try to hand it off to Montgomery several times in a game but I don’t think the Bears will be that smart. That Bears defense may put them in good field position at points but any current QB will mess it up. A “stud” in most leagues in Montgomery is an absolute dud for me.
WR- Juju Smith-Schuster- Pittsburgh Steelers: In past seasons Juju was an absolute stud but he’s on the downside of things this season. Other Steelers WR’s have emerged and most teams will put their best cornerback on Smith-Schuster. Juju will put up decent numbers but don’t expect any break way weeks from him like you would a Tyreek Hill.
WR- Calvin Ridley- Atlanta Falcons: Matt Ryan is in his later years and Ridley is the Falcons only viable receiver besides Kyle Pitts. Similar to Juju, every single teams top cornerback will be covering Ridley this season. I’d shy very far away from him unless you can steal him as a bench player.
WR- Kenny Golladay- New York Giants: You’ll notice a theme with my dud WR’s. They are all the top options on their teams. With Daniel Jones under center for the Giants I don’t expect many accurate footballs to get Golladay’s way either. Golladay will flash in certain weeks but is not consistent and that is the most important aspect of Fantasy Football.
TE- Blake Jarwin- Dallas Cowboys: I’ve seen Jarwin ranked pretty high in certain articles but I’m not buying it. The Cowboys have so many other weapons to get to other than him that I think he’ll be forgotten. From my recollection, Jarwin has always been more of a blocking tight end. Don’t expect earth shattering numbers from him this year.
TE- Jared Cook- Los Angeles Chargers: Cook is merely only 34 years old but has been in the NFL for a long time. He may be a good red zone option but I think Justin Herbert will look elsewhere on crucial downs. I hope this isn’t Cook’s last season but all signs are pointing towards that. Certainly do not draft Cook in a PPR league- even for your bench.
TE- Evan Engram- New York Giants: A disappointing player for years, Engram never is worth drafting as a starter these days. The Giants have other playmakers they are focused on getting the ball to and similar to Blake Jarwin I feel like he’ll be forgotten in this offense. Expect the Giants defense to be more on the field than a chance for Evan Engram to get the ball.
D/ST’s- Philadelphia Eagles: I couldn’t name you one playmaker on the Eagles defense other than Fletcher Cox. With an unsure QB room that could be interception prone, this side of the ball is going to see a lot of time on the field. Look for this Eagles defense to get gassed early in the season- I wouldn’t draft them at all.
D/ST’s- Indianapolis Colts: The Colts defense only has one playmaker as well and that’s Darius Leonard. With Colts QB’s throwing picks up and down the field, this defense will see a lot of time as well. If you see this team defense as draftable- I don’t know what you are thinking.
K- Matt Prater- Arizona Cardinals: At age 37, Prater’s best years are well behind him. He may be reliable from 45 yards or under but I wouldn’t expect his range to reach beyond that. Also take into consideration that the Cardinals may not be in many field goal situations.
K- Robbie Gould- San Francisco 49ers: I’ve never been a big fan of Robbie Gould even though he’s been around for years. In an easy prediction, this will be Gould’s last team. When I say don’t wait for a kicker- I’m not talking about Mr. Gould.
Photo credit goes to: Adrian Kraus/ Associated Press
Sleepers:
QB- Justin Herbert- Los Angeles Chargers: I feel filthy putting Herbert as a sleeper and not a stud but a lot of folks may have not caught onto his game. Herbert not only has great weapons but he is a gun slinger and lethal in the red zone. I would’ve drafted Herbert on any of my teams but he was scooped up fairly early. Don’t miss your chance on him as a starter or bench QB.
QB- Ryan Tannehill- Tennessee Titans: In the past Tannehill has been an interception machine but he’s got the right machinery to throw to this season. Recent addition Julio Jones, stud AJ Brown, and slot receiver Josh Reynolds will serve him well. Look for Tannehill to make better decisions with the football this year too. That’s just my hunch.
RB- James Connor- Arizona Cardinals: With a new number (#6) a new team Connor is gonna do very well with the Cardinals. Teams will lock in on their top WR’s so expect Connor to have a more increased role than expected. Connor only had 6 rushing TD’s in 2020 but expect that number to increase this season. Do not sleep on this guy.
RB- Zack Moss- Buffalo Bills: Even though Moss is the 2nd string running back for the Bills, I’d expect him to have runs on crucial downs. Moss could start on any team in the NFL but the Bills have the luxury of putting him at 2nd string. I wouldn’t be surprised if Moss gets the starting job eventually. This guy may be the steal of all steals in any draft.
RB- Sony Michel- Los Angeles Rams: With a new team and scheme, Michel can thrive in the Rams offense. I wouldn’t want to start him but that may bode well for some. If anything, Sony would be a decent Flex or 1st or 2nd running back on your bench. Don’t look for him to thrive early in the season but later in the season all bets are off.
WR- Diontae Johnson- Pittsburgh Steelers: The most likely slot wide out for the Steelers, Johnson will put up big numbers in that role. Johnson is sure handed and speedy which is never a bad combination. I’d say he’s the poor man’s Tyreek Hill. Take Diontae before anyone else does in your draft.
WR- DeVonta Smith- Philadelphia Eagles: Although I’ve trashed the Eagles throughout these articles, Smith is not a guy to take lightly. In an Eagles offense that likes to take big chances, Smith is a potential home run hitter. I wouldn’t take him in a PPR league but non-PPR go for it.
TE- Mike Gesicki- Miami Dolphins: At 6’6 and 249 pounds, Gesicki is an imposing figure at tight end. Look for Tua to get the ball to Gesicki across the middle of the field many times. I have a bad feeling that the Dolphins WR’s will get locked down but that will allow for Gesicki to put up huge numbers. You couldn’t go wrong with this man as a starter or backup TE.
TE- Anthony Firkser- Tennessee Titans: With Jonnu Smith now a member of the New England Patriots, Firkser is the top tight end in Tennessee. In some weeks the top WR’s are sure to get locked down so Firkser may be Tannehill’s only option. I wouldn’t reach for Firkser but he would absolutely be a solid backup tight end.
D/ST’s- Los Angeles Rams: With playmakers all over the field and a low ranking on most draft boards, the Rams are easily a good sleeper. This is not the type of team to play conservative on defense either. They are going for interceptions or big hits and that can bode well. If anything, Stafford will cost this teams games not the defense.
D/ST’s- Arizona Cardinals: The Cardinals may end up with a very tough schedule but I think their defense will bode well. With recent addition JJ Watt adding to other playmakers on the field, the Cardinals are the type of team that will rip your heart out on defense. Do not draft them as your top defense but I think they’d be a good backup option or bye week option once it gets to that point.
K- Younghoe Koo- Atlanta Falcons: In my crystal ball, I see Matt Ryan stalling out on a lot of drives this season which should allow Koo to have favorable kicks. Beyond that point, Koo has a strong and accurate leg and I’ve seen him drafted higher than I would’ve expected in certain leagues. In later rounds if you find yourself without a kicker- draft Koo.
K- Joey Slye- Carolina Panthers: The Panthers will be in bad field position most of the season and will have to rely on Slye. Even though he’s been shaky in the past, expect Slye to have a big season.
Author’s Note #1: Sorry I put Kyler Murray as a stud and a sleeper in the last article. I didn’t edit well even though studs and sleepers are different.
Author’s Note #2: Consideration and advice was taken from Jon Sawlan for this article. Follow him on Twitter @JonSawlan.
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