Interns beware! It’s that festive time of year again, tonight is the “The 15’s Annual Office Holiday Party”. ( It used to be the “The 15’s Annual Office Christmas Party”, but Carl did 23andMe this past year and, oy gevalt, he’s suddenly kosher.) But have no fear! Whether you spin the dreidel, or your savior was born in a stable, all you have to do is follow Football Cat’s 7 simple tips for a funtastic Office Holiday Party…
Spot the total number HR violations in this picture! Whoever comes closest will win a bonus day off* (*unpaid)
Show Up: You do not want to be labeled as a party pooper. Get your ass to the party, they’ll be free drinks (see Tip #2).
Drink: Drink! There’s nothing people like more than talking about the person who had too much to drink at the office party. You’re just providing a public service.
Eat: If you don’t eat, you’ll get drunk too fast (see Tip #2). It’s science.
Dance: On the floor, on the table (see Tip #2) , whatever it takes.
Talk to the Big Boss: Make sure you’ve had a couple of drinks first (see Tip #2) . And make it quick. Get in, get out. Don’t linger.
Play Your Transportation By Ear: You’re going to drink (see Tip #2) so don’t drive, but don’t plan ahead either. There’s definitely someone in the office with Clara Barton Syndrome, or maybe it’s Clara Nightingale Syndrome – whichever the nice one was. It doesn’t really matter, just don’t puke in Clara’s car.
Be Prepared: Bring an extra pair of underwear, your toothbrush and your passport. You never know what will happen (see Tip #2).
Good luck and have fun (see Tip #2)!
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Chiefs (-4.5) at Browns Chiefs scalp the Elves
Payback is a bitch
Bengals (-5) at Titans Stripey Cats pancake Tits
Tigers and pancakes? Someone’s getting cancelled.
Commanders (-7) at Saints Godless Commies decanonize Saints
Ravens (-14.5) at Giants Scary Black Birds jar Giants
Cowboys at Panthers (-2.5) Scary Black Cats spook America’s Team
I’m dreaming of a Black Sunday
Jets (-3.5) at Jags My Good Friend Mac finally owns!
This time for sure!
Dolphins at Texans (-3.5) Texans barbecue Dolphins
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Colts at Broncos (-4) Big Broncos corral lil’ Colts
Go Horse(s)!
Bills at Lions (-2.5) Hairy Cows trample Jungle Kings
Steelers at Eagles (-5) Yinzers take the Keystone State Cup
Patriots at Cardinals (-6) Pretty Red Birds fly past Mayo’s men
Stay strong Drake-A-Maniacs!
Buccaneers at Chargers (-3) Brother Jim Hawkins’ gang zaps swashbucklers
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Packers (-3) at Seahawks Fake Sea Birds aren’t in the mood for Love.
MONDAY EARLY PROWL TIME Bears at Vikings (-7) Vikings plunder hibernating Bears
Sounds like a Pixar movie
MONDAY PROWL TIME Falcons (-5) at Raiders Too bad Jerry Glanville isn’t alive to see his Falcons take down the Elvis impersonators #RIP
Wait… what?
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Mark Dondero will be visited by three spirits on Christmas. It will be his highest-rated show ever.
I was told Adam Hart’s relevance wasn’t tied to Belichick.
So I guess it would be fair to suggest that Foxboro and Mansfield left it all on Martinelli Field on Turkey Day? Still, congrats to our lone champion, North Attleboro, but also thanks to Mansfield, Foxboro and King Philip for their outstanding seasons. On to courts and rinks.
Drew Carter actively tried to get Scalabrine fired by asking him why Jay Huff is sneaky athletic.
The performative outrage about Aroldis Chapman didn’t last very long.
Pam Oliver looks like Roscoe Lee Brown with a weave.
Bruins done got Winnipegged.
I still think Dartmouth and not University Park when I hear ‘SMU.’
The Parkers giving their kid a zeppelin for Christmas of ‘40 is kinda problematic. Was the Old Man a Lindbergh guy?
Bet Bryan wishes he just admitted to being Jake.
Cakes are cooking for Rita Moreno, David Gates, Donna Mills, John Kerry, Brenda Lee, Lynda Day George, Brad Bryant, Jermaine Jackson, Stu Jackson (no relation), Mike Mesaros, Nikki Sixx, Lisa Gastineau, Mary Beth Zimmerman, Darryl Jones, Mike Henneman, Ben Browder, Cosy Sheridan, Dave Gagner, Dave Schools, Justin Currie, Thomas Howard, Jay Bell, Martin Blunt, DJ Yella, Mo’Nique, Sean Grande, Errict Rhett, Willie McGinest, Daniel Alfredsson, Mos Def, Rey Mysterio, Gerben de Knegt, Rider Strong, Zacky Vengance, Samantha Ponder, and Malcolm Brogdon.
I’m hearing that The Civ Report is doing Girl at the Game type numbers!
No buzz in here about the MLB draft lottery??
Being from Roslindale and ending up in Randolph is like being born on 2nd base and ending up on 1st.
The Hawk Tuah Girl’s cybercurrency thing wasn’t called, ‘SpitCoin?’ No wonder it crashed.
Orange Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem near Wellington.
What a collection of talent we have. We’re the fucking LA Dodgers of trolls, except all the money is deferred forever.
When an official gets hurt, I think the broadcast referee expert should suit up and take his spot.
Still not sure I can trust a guy named Ollie.
Hey gang of talentless journeymen, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “”I’m on my fourth team in five years. I think I know a little something about how the NFL works, Troy.”
Dart Adams? Still boring.
My current belief is that Gemini sometimes runs real simulations, but sometimes reports the results of hallucinated simulations. Which is obviously a problem.
I just found a bargain on a Canucks shirt on Fanatics.
Accidentally made my nephew cry by telling him I saw the elf on the shelf drinking from the toilet.
No better place to rehab your damaged image from racist emails than with Barstool.
I saw Wicked and that shit bangs so hard. It fucking rocks.
Yeah, we hate our lives, not the twin slobs who mainline 14 hours of sports radio a day.
Stockton got smoked.
A yellow ESPN alert on the ticker during a football game will never not fool me that there’s a flag.
In the future, everyone will rug a memecoin for fifteen minutes.
Azzez Al-Shaair hit Trevor Lawrence like, I don’t know, a plane hitting some sort of tall building.
Seriously, though, when is the award-winning Kendra Middleton on the radio?
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop. Mistletoe hung where you can see every couple tries to stop. Rockin’ around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas spirit ring. Later, we’ll have some pumpkin pie, and we’ll do some caroling.
You will get a sentimental feelin’ When you hear. Voices singin’, “Let’s be jolly (ooh) Deck the halls with boughs of holly.”
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday. Everyone dancin’ merrily in the new old-fashioned way.
For 2025, Wilyer Abreu vs. Teoscar H is kind of a 50/50 proposition. Over the next 3 years, Wilyer will have twice as much value as Teoscar. Over 5 years, three times as much.
As a bit of a fragrance expert (I am a collector) I will be testing this Trump perfume out and reviewing it.
You can have your Dame Time. I’ll take my Holiday Time.
Sources: The New England Revolution are set to name Gillette as their new jersey sponsor. This deal has been in the works for some time.
Honk if you remember the JFK Lufthansa Heist.
Time for another December of ‘who the fuck are these people that sent us a Christmas card?’
You took what’s yours, Shawsheen Tech Rams.
Everything that you are involved in, please do the research and learn to educate yourself.
‘Chuck Terrific’ is the name DJ Bean uses at the glory holes.
Remember if you see standing water on the road you can probably get through it – it’s probably not as deep as you think.
Commissioner Silver’s performance as Nosferatu is Oscar-worthy.
I can’t believe that WEEI interviewed a guy who spent a month on the Patriots in 2005 as a Belichick expert. Well, I guess I can.
All the fanciest domiciles have “unit” in the address.
I have a Chinese symbol for the word foot tattooed on my foot.
Larry Fitz Senior is the black Curt Schilling.
Best bet for the weekend: the Kansas City Chiefs win by two scores for a change.
“I asked Coach Tomlin if he expects Russell Wilson to return. He said, ‘most likely’, then blinked a lot. Back to you guys.”
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Red Six, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Just to win the love of a girl like you.
And happy birthday to actress-singer Hailee Steinfeld.
Have no fear! Even though the local gridironers are enjoying a weekend away, getting tanned and rested, there’s no bye week for Football Cat!
Don’t we have interns to cover for me for one week?
And remember, it’s not just the bye week, it’s also the BUYweek at the official the 15 net store! If you don’t shop during the big holiday sale, you’re just wasting money. It’s basic math people.
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Jaguars at Titans (-4) Tits motorboat Spotty Cats
My good friend Mac in happier times
Jets at Dolphins (-6) Tua melts Jets
I prefer a little dolphin in my tuna
Falcons at Vikings (-5.5) Vikings rape Raptors
Saints (-4.5) at Giants David takes down Goliath
You don’t want to get on Davey’s bad side
Panthers at Eagles (-12) Scary Black Cats spook American Birds
Browns at Steelers (-6.5) Yinzers flush Browns
If it’s brown flush it down!
Raiders at Buccaneers (-6.5) Bucs win the biggest pirate fight since the Battle of Cape Lopez
What do you call a pirate with a cat on his shoulder? A purr-ate.
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Seahawks at Cardinals (-2.5) Pretty Red Birds pluck Fake Sea Birds
Bills (-5) at Rams Horny Sheep win the Bovidae Battle
Me so horny!
Bears at 49ers (-4.5) Prospectors wake the sleepy Bears, get mauled.
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Chargers at Chiefs (-3.5) Native Americans short circuit Plugs
Trail of Tears? Sounds like my prom night!
MONDAY PROWL TIME Bengals (-5) at Cowboys Stripey Cats do Dallas
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Don’t worry, a deranged pilot is not going to fly a blimp into an NFL stadium near you. It means it’s your chance to save SAVE SAVE!
Just visit the the official “The 15” store, and with a few clicks (and a valid credit card) you can take care of all your holiday shopping and enjoy all the football.
Them ore you spend the more you SAVE! (It’s simple mathematics)
Shop early and often, and remember to tell them that Football Cat sent you.
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Chargers (-1) at Falcons Plugs zap Raptors
Steelers at Bengals (-3) Men of Steel cage Stripey Cats
Roar!
Texans (-4) at Jaguars Spotty Cats claw their way to victory
Cardinals at Vikings (-3.5) Pretty Red Birds should never have flown north.
Frozen Red Bird patties are good eating
Colts (-2.5) at Patriots To all the little Drake-a-Maye-niacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins, and enjoy the win heading into the bye week.
You may not like it… but accept it!
Seahawks (-2) at Jets Fake Sea Birds ground Jets
Titans at Commanders (-5.5) Commies blast all over Tits
Hey, my eyes are up here.. WTF!
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Buccaneers (-5.5) at Panthers Black Beards sink Black Cats
The impending cannibalism makes it funny
Rams (-2.5) at Saints The Lord’s shepherds sheer the hairy sheep
Eagles at Ravens (-3) Scary Black Birds rule the roost
Honk if you remember Marlin Perkins
SUNDAY PROWL TIME 49ers at Bills (-7) Prospectors get snowed under in Buffalo
MONDAY PROWL TIME Browns at Broncos (-5.5) Elves can’t handle the elevation
It really messes with his GI tract.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Jaylen is so ripped watching him guard fatty Harden makes it look like he’s guarding Shukri Wright.
The Red Sox were in on Snell. Okay.
If you were one of those folks who took it upon themselves to put a bunch of campaign signs all over the place, I genuinely appreciate your dedication to democracy, no matter whom you backed. But it’s been a week. Go clean up your deal.
If Bill was still working for the Krafts there’s no way he’d be allowed to print in color.
Good showing, RIFC. Get ’em next time.
He’s actually a great guy, great dad, great coach. I’ve watched him break up potential fights before they happened. So instead of 2 dads spend the weekend in prison, Greg controlled the situation. He is a very nice man and a pillar of the community, he volunteers his time.
When my mom knows the Patriots’ personnel better than the offensive coordinator something is very wrong (Granted, she’s also a diehard who rocks a Hannah jersey, but still…)
You can tell that Civian hates all the unwanted attention she gets, because she continually seeks the unwanted attention.
Cakes are cooking for Kathryn Bigelow, Curtis Armstrong, Bill Nye*, William Fichtner, Caroline Kennedy, Mike Scioscia, Steve Oedekerk, Charlie Benante, Mike Bordin, Fisher Stevens, Robin Givens, Fiachna O’Braonáin, Garry Valk, Nick Van Exel, Jon Runyan, Martin Gramatica, Chad Kilger, Jaleel White, Jimmy Rollins, Ricky Carmichael, Alison Pill, Lashana Lynch, and Omar Jimenez.
Yams and sweet potatoes are interchangeable and don’t let anybody tell you different.
Right-hand catching goalies always look like they’re playing with borrowed equipment haha. But Askarov having nice debut for SJ.
I know this is simple math, but doesn’t Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium follow from expansion of the generating function (p*x + q*y)^2? Allele frequency remaining constant follows from renormalization, as expected number of x alleles is 2p and y alleles is 2q.
If you consider the old Browns and the Ravens to be the same franchise, then all 32 NFL franchises have spent at least one week in last place of DVOA since 1979.
Blue Line Update: Normal service has resumed between Wonderland and Orient Heights.
Is Sacco up to the awesome responsibility of coaching the Centennial Game?
Kadlick/Kyles is the new Paxton/Pullman.
Is Frosty Bias on Bluesky? I need assurances that I’ll be reminded daily that Reggie Lewis and Len Bias are dead.
Hey gang of amphibious Spaniards! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I would tongue that ass til I tasted Fall River.”
I am not a Christmas girlie, but having siblings with kids makes it way more fun.
News Item: Bertucci’s is debuting a brand new concept, and its first location will be in Boston.
How am I the least chill guy on Twitter?!
Man, it seems like the Lions and the Cowboys play EVERY Thanksgiving!
After all the jacks are in their boxes And the clowns have all gone to bed You can hear happiness Staggering on down the street Footprints dressed in red And the wind whispers “Mary.”
All the suckers getting to the airport early means you can get there 55 minutes before your flight leaves.
Honk if you think Ted Williams should have won the 1941and 1947 AL MVP Award.
Sam Kennedy would like you to know that the Sox are just so darn disappointed Snell decided to go with another offer but that coming this spring to America’s favorite ballpark you can get a Guy Fieri smash burger and a cup of New England’s favorite Legal Seafood chowder for only $89!
ESPN putting out playoff rankings every week that are 100% meaningless and using that as an excuse to do a segment where Paul Finebaum yells about it is terrorism.
Does the Herald still run ‘Clip’ Callahan’s HS football article every Thanksgiving?
Bit of a stumble out of the gates for UConn MBB.
Is Bill James okay?
Breaking: Daniel Jones to sign with Vikings’ practice squad after release from Giants, per sources.
Best bet for the weekend: Open Newbury: Holiday Stroll! Join us for car-free shopping and holiday fun on Sunday, December 1, and Sunday, December 8. Fun!
Anyone who false starts is a Patriots offensive lineman. Anyone that commits holding is a well-disciplined Patriots offensive lineman.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW‘s Lazslo Panaflex, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. You want it all, but you can’t have it (yeah, yeah, yeah) It’s in your face, but you can’t grab it (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Jeanne Crane and friend wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.
In honor of the big (BIG!) PRE INFRA-BLACK FRIDAY sale at the official the 15 store, Football Cat is generously giving out free money – in the form of bonus Thanksgiving picks. What better way to thank your host or hostess than with a high quality “It’s Called #Owning” coffee mug or the ever popular Jonathon t-shirt?
Shop early and often, and remember to tell them that Football Cat sent you.
EARLY EATERS TIME Bears at Lions (-10.5) Jungle Kings feast on roasted ursine knee caps
All shirts are available in men’s sizes from Medium all the way up to 3XL.
LATE EATERS TIME Giants at Cowboys (-3) Pokes pop Pituitaries
A Hall of Fame owner with Hall of Fame fashion sense
SECOND DINNER TIME Dolphins at Packers (-3.5) Meat men pack Dolphins into a Tua casserole
Coach Drip gets it
BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL Raiders at Chiefs (-12.5) The Black Hole boys get black eyes on Black Friday
He tells his barber “Give me the Jonathan”
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
For first-time hosts, or even experienced cooks, the Thanksgiving turkey can be a nerve-wracking dish to prepare once a year. Football Cat has some tips to reduce any anxiety over cooking your turkey this year.
Thawing Turkey Safely There are two safe ways to thaw a turkey: in the refrigerator or in cold water. Thawing a frozen turkey on the kitchen counter, in hot water, or in the garage is not safe. Even though the center of the package may still be frozen, the outer layer of the food is in the Danger Zone between 40 and 140 degrees F — a temperature range where food-borne bacteria multiply rapidly. No matter which method you use, thawing a turkey takes time.
Cooking Turkey Safely Regardless of how your turkey is cooked, insert a food thermometer into the thickest part of the breast, the innermost part of the wing and the innermost part of the thigh to check that its internal temperature at all three spots is at 165 degrees F.
Need more information about Thanksgiving food safety? Call Football Cat’s Meat and Poultry Hotline at 888-MPHotline (888-674-6854). Football Cat’s Meat and Poultry Hotline will be open on Thanksgiving Day from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. EST.
Operators are standing by
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Chiefs (-11) at Panthers Scary black cats catch the Chiefs licking their wounds
It’s not what you think!
Vikings (-3.5) at Bears Da’ Bears are da’ done
Titans at Texans (-7.5) Oilers learn you can’t go home again
Flipping the Nixon to the fine folks in Houston
Lions (-8) at Colts Colts get caught looking ahead to their Week 13 bye week
Patriots at Dolphins (-7) Tua smears Mayo
It has the Patriots’ beat writers seal of approval!
Buccaneers (-5) at Giants Tommy Cutlets is back, ba da bing! Giants still lose.
The Giants aren’t winning this game! I don’t care how many dago guinea wop greaseball goombahs come out of the woodwork!
Cowboys at Commanders (-10) Commies kick the ever living shit out of the Cowboys.
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Broncos at Raiders (-5) Bo Nix is YOUR Rookie of Year!
I hope his grandchildren can make it to the ceremony.
49ers at Packers (-2) Packers pulverize Prospectors
Cardinals (-1) at Seahawks Pretty Red Birds roast the Fake Sea Birds
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Eagles (-3) at Rams American Birds soar high in the City of Angels
A belated Happy 40th Anniversary to Sam the Olympic Eagle
MONDAY PROWL TIME Ravens (-3) at Chargers Scary Black Birds get shocked
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
No one goes undefeated anymore. Not the Chiefs, not the Cavs. No one.
Ah, the old ‘use an Emirates NBA Cup group stage game as cover to fire the hockey coach’ trick.
Nick Pivetta declines qualifying offer, per source. You go, Breslow!
Larry Johnson, a great guy who’s been reunited with his feet in Heaven. RIP.
Carter’s best attribute is being paired with Scal.
I love when people suggest pulling the team off the floor as if anyone would ever do that.
Chris Forsberg should have a wetter voice.
Mark Daniels is a one-man ‘The Onion’ headline generator.
Cakes are cooking for Dick Smothers, Joseph Biden, Norman Greenbaum, Veronica Hamel, Joe Walsh, Jacqueline Hansen, John Bolton, Rodger Bumpass, John Van Boxmeer, Mark Gastineau, James P. McGovern, Sean Young, Ming-Na Wen, Mike D, Alex Arias, Chris Childs, Jeff Tarango, Callie Thorne, Sabrina Lloyd, Joey Galloway, Jerald Moore, Dierks Bentley, J.D. Drew, Dominique Dawes, Nadine Velazquez, Carlos Boozer, Jared Followill, and Michael Clifford.
Last week the neighbor invited me over to watch the Tyson fight. Is it 1996?
Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I mourn Vince Young’s career every day.”
Nashua, it’s like a baby Philadelphia.
I’ve seen very little evidence that Trey Lance is a real person.
LinkedIn is so pointless other than for cyber bullying.
Dondero is like these new age weed growers that cross pollinate strains of weed and call it like ‘Bazooka Man Vagina’ or some shit.
Dakota wasn’t wrong about loser DNA. He just had the wrong guy and not Embiid.
Pagliuca is starting to look like Joe Pesci playing David Ferry in JFK.
Does Mark Daniels have such an underbite from getting his teeth kicked in over and over?
The Commonwealth is famous for giving Sacco’s a fair shake.
Paul George did not sign a super max, nor was he eligible for one or needed one, as they are reserved for players with under 10 years of service to be able to exceed their normally limited maximum % of the team’s salary cap based on certain performance benchmarks, allowing them to then make up to 35%, instead of 25% or 30%, with 35% being what Paul George was already eligible to be paid as he had played 14 years in the National Basketball Association.
It’s fair to wonder how much Shukri’s angry video influenced Sweeney decision.
Qatar MNT superfan Alexi Lalas cosplaying as an American fan is interesting/
Ty Jerome does not jump as high as his name would imply.
We live in a tough time where it is most wise to save money, but there’s more ways than ever to spend money and everything is more expensive.
Larry Johnson was blacker than Deuce Tatum.
Denver is just a big sprawling suburb with the mountains in the background.
e in – Cuddy.
Netflix is that kid that tells 4 friends to come over his house cause his parents are away for the weekend.
Honk if you remember Bruins Head Coach Mike Sullivan.
Curran rapes Phil Perry weekly.
Neely and Sweeney will have run through Julien, Cassidy, and Montgomery yet are not on the hot seat themselves? How come?
I been in the right place But it must have been the wrong time I’d have said the right thing But must have used the wrong line I been on the right trip But I must have used the wrong car Head is in a bad place and I wonder what it’s good for
I been in the right place But it must have been the wrong time My head is in a bad place But I’m having such a good time I’ve been running trying to get hung up in my mind Really got to give myself a good talking to this time
Bo Nix has been named the AFC Offensive Player of the Week. He’s the first Broncos rookie QB in franchise history to earn the award.
Maybe it’s just me, but if the game was officiated correctly, I think the Celts win by 30.
Bryan Mata and Isaiah Campbell DFA’d.
If picking up disoriented guys is a skill, give Steve Buckley the gold medal.
I’m now all-in on the Drake Maye over hype. It’s the quickest way to get Mayo fired.
Bert Breer has fetal alcohol syndrome eyes.
I’m going to work “Culture Metric” into all facets of my life.
I generally prefer Principalities over Emirates.
Argonaut Arbuckle with a backup QB performance for the ages in the Gery Cup final.
Best bet for the weekend: a speed matchup in Miami.
May your green recliner be comfortable and your bowl of snack orbs bottomless, Larry.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Prepare yourself, you know it’s a must. Gotta have a friend in Jesus. So you know that when you die, He’s gonna recommend you to the spirit in the sky (spirit in the sky)
Nice win out in St Louis, Bruins. Monty might still be the coach for the Centennial Game!
It’s really cruel of the NBA to introduce another title that the Knicks can’t win.
There is a better chance of the tooth fairy floating into your room tonight, kicking your ass and drinking all your beer than the Red Sox signing Juan Soto.
One does not simply walk into Bobby Dodd Stadium at Hyundai Field.
Pasta is great, but it’s not a side.
Cakes are cooking for Joe Mantegna, Roger Steen, Gilbert Perrault, Merrick Garland, Andy Ranken, Tracy Scoggins, Chris Noth, Whoopi Goldberg, Aldo Nova, Charlie Baker, Greg Abbott, Neil Flynn, Blair Rasmussen, Vinny Testaverde, Jimmy Kimmel, Mark Fitzpatrick, Pat Hentgen, Gerard Butler, John Francis Zingg, Noah Hathaway, Metta Sandiford-Artest, Asdrúbal Cabrera, Lando Norris, and Emma Raducanu.
Cavemen must have had mad hemorrhoids, wiping their hairy asses with leaves and whatnot.
Did we throw Strahan in Gitmo yet?
It’s WILD that Tommy Boy had a contest so if you could properly identify the sample used in the hook of De La Soul’s “Plug Tunin'” single back in Fall ’88 you could win $500… That’s equivalent to $1333 in 2024.
The local scribes were this excited and optimistic when last year’s Patriots team got win #3, right? Right?
BlueSky’s getting more beta. Heyooooooo!
Kevin Owens joining the Bloodline 2.0 would be so insane and I’m all for it.
That Dickerson tweet is amazing. “Just teaching my son to be an asshole to total strangers for no real reason. So proud.”
At least they don’t need to air the old man smell out of the White House now.
Hey gang, of vowel purchasers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Treat yourself to a round of sausage.”
Excited to report kids in middle school are still reading Mike Lupica books.
Quin Snyder looks like a Tom Hanks stunt double in Philadelphia.
Red Line Reminder: November 18-24 Shuttle buses replace service between Harvard & Broadway for track work. Shuttles will not directly service Park St or Downtown Crossing. Riders can board at Haymarket & State.
I thought John Basedow died in the tsunami.
Jalen Ramsey has the busiest facemask I’ve ever seen for a DB but he pulls it off.
I wasn’t going to watch the NBA Cup tournament until they debuted a new design on the ball.
We lost Carlo Imelio? Sad. Often beaten, never defeated.
Good to see Steve Kerr (who was missing Podziemski and Melton) was still able to find a way to play eleven players IN THE 1ST QUARTER(!) of the game in a sport he’s adamant you can’t do that kind of thing in.
It’s been six months She hasn’t shut up once I’ve tried to explain She’s driving me insane
She won’t even miss me when she’s gone. But that’s OK with me, I’ll cry later on.
Talk to ya later. Don’t wanna hear it again tonight. I’ll talk to ya later. Just save it for another guy. Oh, talk to ya later. Don’t wanna hear it again tonight. I’ll just, see you around.
Something about Mountain Dew with Chinese Food just hits.
Honk if you remember Pat Paulson.
Mookie Betts is a Silver Slugger Award winner for the fourth time with the Dodgers and seventh time in his career.
Are eggs two bucks a dozen yet?
The Bears have released veteran G Nate Davis, who they shopped prior to the trade deadline. He started 13 times over the last two seasons for them.
Have you not turned the heat on in your house yet? Let us know in the comments.
I did it. I made it not rain. I bought new wiper blades. Sorrey!
Baylor Scheierman impresses in his G-League debut.
Halloween candy at only 33% off, CVS? That’s not gonna cut it. Fifty!
It’s gonna be funny when Surgeon General RFK throws the ‘celebrity’ callers/change counters in the Guantanamo Bay Weight Loss Camp.
News Item: The Ground Round restaurant returning to Massachusetts.
Best bet for the weekend: McVay outduels Mayo on short rest.
No, I don’t think I will.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Emo Phillips, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Heard it in a love song. Can’t be wrong.
Bianca de la Garza staying hydrated at her book release party.
The 15 