Gillette Stadium

Football Cat’s Week 2 NFL Picks 2026

Posted on September 18, 2026 by naop Leave a comment

A statement for immediate release from New England Patriots and Gillette Stadium Owner Robert Kraft…

🚨 LOCAL MUSICIANS WANTED 🚨

Are you looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?

Do you possess an instrument, a pulse, and absolutely zero financial ambitions?

Do you know how to keep your opinions to yourself?

Brilliant! Because we have the perfect opportunity for YOU! We are putting together a band to open for legendary singer songwriter and all around mensch, Mr. Ed Sheeran on September 25th and 26th. Our previously booked act, a highly unprofessional meshugener schmuck, tragically canceled on us. That putz’s loss is your golden opportunity!

What We Offer
Unparalleled Exposure: Play for a stadium full of people that was expecting someone else entirely!
The Thrill of the Rescue: Bask in the heroic glory of saving our event from absolute disaster.
Complimentary Air: Breathe all the ambient oxygen you want while on stage.
Free Refreshments: A half-empty cooler of lukewarm Gatorade awaits you backstage, plus one (1) complimentary bologna sandwich after your performance is complete. (NOTE: The sandwich will only be available on night two.)

What We Need
Anyone who can carry a tune, hold a beat, or at least look convincing pretending to do so. Someone with absolutely no opinions on anything, especially regarding an obscure ongoing minor dispute in the Middle East. A performer with a deep, spiritual understanding that “art is its own reward” – because you won’t be getting paid.

If this sounds like you, please bring your gear and your talent down to One Patriot Place. We will supply the mandatory blue square pin.