Tag Archives: football-cat

Football Cat’s Thanksgiving Picks ’25

Turkey fans enjoy giving out gobbles this time of year, but what about America’s fastest, and fattest, growing dietary subgroup the Porksaterians? Well don’t worry Porky, we’re here to satisfy you with a serving of oinks.


Grant Huckvale (a.k.a. Hogdale):
Hogdale carved a niche for himself as an overly exuberant alternative broadcaster to the stoic and bland official Red Sox play-by-play teams on NESN and WEEI. Over the summer you’d see Hogdale clips occasionally retweeted into your timeline, usually after Red Sox wins, and you’d think to yourself “I think that’s the tops“. We probably all agree that Hogdale is special. Smash cut to present day, and we are confronted with a hog of a different color. Barstool, in an effort to fill an obese chromosomically challenged void in their lineup, swooped in and waved a lucrative (by part-time minimum waged Iowan standards) five figure contract in front of Hogdale’s snout and lured him into their slaughter house. Now Hogdale’s giant screaming maw is ever present, ever hot takey and ever annoying. To quote Rocky IV: “What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster”.
4 oinks 🐷🐷🐷🐷

That will do pig

Thanksgiving early eaters time
Packers at Lions (-2.5)

Jungle Kings slice and dice Cheese Heads

Thanksgiving late eaters time
Chiefs (-3.5) at Cowboys
Squantos feast on the Pilgrims

Thanksgiving overeaters time
Bengals at Ravens (-7)

Scary Black Birds bury Burrow’s boys

Black Friday Afternoon Nap time
Bears at Eagles (-7)

Birds bully Bears

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 12 NFL Picks ’25

Domo arigato

Please enjoy some pre-Thanksgiving haikus…


A Cat:
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
My claws aren’t that sharp.

Football:
Pigskin, gridiron
These equal true happiness
All thanks to Bert Bell

Robert Kraft:
Desperate for praise
Time for my prepaid close up
Get my booster sea
t

Kendra Middleton:
I crave attention
Look at me I am zany
Stop bothering me

Bob Socci:
This is not tv
Please give me down and distance
This is radio

Scott Zolak:
Must you grunt and groan
You are ruining the game
Try doing less coke

He’s the picture of health

Sunday Lunch Time
Jets at Ravens (-13.5)

The Poes crawl out from under the floor boards

S’all right? S’all right!

Steelers at Bears (-2.5)
Bears won’t be caged

Patriots (-8.5) at Bengals
Stripey cats can’t trap Pats

Off to the jungle

Giants at Lions (-10.5)
Jungle kings cut down Giants

Vikings at Packers (-6.5)
Packmen gobble up JJ

Colts at Chiefs (-3.5)
Native peoples corral Colts

Seahawks (-13.5) at Titans
Fake seabirds best the breasts

Did someone say “best breasts”?

Sunday Dinner Time
Jaguars (-2.5) at Cardinals

Spotted cats swallow pretty red birds

Browns at Raiders (-3.5)
Black hole excretes the Browns

The photo Keebler didn’t want you to see

Eagles (-3.5) at Cowboys
Birds beat Boys

Falcons (1.5) at Saints
Saints flush Falcons in the Toilet Bowl

Being bowl eligible isn’t always good

Sunday Prowl Time
Buccaneers at Rams (-6.5)

It’s no longer Baker Mayefield, it’s Baker Won’t-field

Monday Prowl Time
Panthers at 49ers (-7)

Purrrrdy boxes black cats

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Week 11 – Beat Football Cat!

Eleven!

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Congratulations to Warren Dull’s aunt for beating Football Cat once again in Week 10!

So. Happy. For. You. Ma’am.

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Commanders at Dolphins

Panthers at Falcons

Buccaneers at Bills

Chargers at Jaguars

Bears at Vikings

Packers at Giants

Bengals at Steelers

Texans at Titans

49ers at Cardinals

Seahawks at Rams

Ravens at Browns

Chiefs at Broncos

Lions at Eagles

Cowboys at Raiders (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our hardy heam of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good luck to all our contestants!

Football Cat’s Week 11 NFL Picks ’25

TRADEMARK!

As DRAKE-A-MAYENIA sweeps the six state region, we’d just like to remind you where you first were introduced to that fantastic (and potentially lucrative) phrase… it was HERE, in Football Cat’s Week 13 NFL Picks ’24!

and also here, in Football Cat’s Week 15 NFL Picks ’24!

Double TRADEMARK!

As part of our pending intellectual property infringement lawsuit(s), our special council has advised us to put all of our ideas out there (that’s legal jargon). So without further ado we bring you our latest potential merchandise ideas (TRADEMARK!):

Remember, never settle for cheap imitations when you can choose the high quality original! Only available (potentially) at the15net.com official store!

Sunday Desayuno Time
Commanders at Dolphins (-2.5)

¡Los delfines ganan!

Sunday Lunch Time
Panthers at Falcons (-3.5)

Black cats can’t catch a break, or find a win

Times are tough

Buccaneers at Bills (-6)
Bills bully Baker

Chargers (-3) at Jaguars
Spotted cats get zapped by Plugs

From the golden age of advertising

Bears at Vikings (-2.5)
Norsemen sneak by sleepy Bears

Packers (-7) at Giants
There will be no metamorphosis under Kafka’s leadership.

High brow humor!

Bengals at Steelers (-5.5)
Yinzers flatten Flacco

Texans (-6) at Titans
Tex squeezes Tits

Sunday Dinner Time
49ers (-3) at Cardinals

Purrrrdy swallows pretty red birds

He’s gaining on you red

Seahawks at Rams (-3)
Horny sheep trample fake sea birds

Ravens (-7.5) at Browns
Scary black birds flush the Browns

If it’s brown, flush it down

Chiefs (-3.5) at Broncos
Chiefs bust Broncos

Sunday Prowl Time
Lions at Eagles (-2.5)

Jungle kings claw out a win in Philly

He likes his cheese steak extra cheesy

Monday Prowl Time
Cowboys (-3.5) at Raiders

Ranch hands rustle Raiders

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Week 10 – Beat Football Cat!

Football Cat thanks you for your service.

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Congratulations to Murph for beating Football Cat in Week 9! We will figure some way to get your prize to you.

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Falcons at Colts

Saints at Panthers

Giants at Bears

Jaguars at Texans

Bills at Dolphins

Ravens at Vikings

Browns at Jets

Patriots at Buccaneers 

Cardinals at Seahawks

Rams at 49ers

Lions at Commanders

Steelers at Chargers

Eagles at Packers (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our patriotic band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good luck and have an appropriate Veterans Day.

Football Cat’s Week 10 NFL Picks ’25

News item: ESPN and Penn Entertainment are ending their sports-betting agreement early after failing to gain significant market share. The sports-media company will instead launch a new multiyear deal with industry leader DraftKings. The early ending for ESPN’s Penn Entertainment venture and ESPN Bet’s inability to gain scale is a sign of the grip DraftKings and FanDuel have on the market. Sports betting has exploded in America, but smaller companies and later entrants have been unable to capture fans’ attention.

We’re all in!


We here at The15Net.com know how difficult it can be for the little guy to mix it up with the big boys, so we are offering up our services to Penn in its time of need. Our industry leading brand is a perfect fit for Penn’s deep pockets and poor judgement. We have year round features like the ever popular Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer, the wildly successful Football Cat’s Weekly NFL Picks, the eagerly awaited March Sadness, this summer’s surprise smash hit the Summer Mini-Tournament and a cornucopia of other fabulous rib ticklers and side splitters. How does “The15net Bets” sound to you?

And all for the low low price of only $15 million in cash per year! That’s a tenth of what you were paying ESPN, and no one even has access to that channel anymore. So please reach out to Mr. Steve Bosell, the Managing Editor of The15Net.com, at your earliest convenience (if you can find him).

Thank you for you attention to this matter.

Sunday Frühstück Time
Falcons at Colts (-6.5)

Indianapolis Jones triumphs over those Nazi inspired helmet logos

Sunday Lunch Time
Saints at Panthers (-5.5)

Black cats scare the bejesus out of the Saints

Giants at Bears (-4.5)
Bears send G-men into hibernation

Seems like a bad idea

Jaguars (-1.5) at Texans
Spotted cats have a problem in Houston

Bills (-9.5) at Dolphins
Buffalo grills Dolphins

Not this time Flipper

Ravens (-4.5) at Vikings
Scary black birds continue to come back from the dead

Browns (-1.5) at Jets
Browns catch Firesale Ed’s team looking ahead to 2027

Patriots at Buccaneers (-2.5)
It’s no longer Baker Mayfield, it’s Baker ISfield!

This will never make any sense

Sunday Dinner Time
Cardinals at Seahawks (-6.5)

Fake Seabirds snatch up pretty red birds

Rams (-3) at 49ers
Horny sheep menace Mac

Lions (-7.5) at Commanders
Lions tame Swamp Things

No shirt, no shoes, all action!

Sunday Prowl Time
Steelers at Chargers (-3)

Bolts can’t penetrate the Men of Steel’s Faraday cage

Monday Prowl Time
Eagles at Packers (-2.5)

American Birds snap up Meat Men

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Week 9 – Beat Football Cat!

This feline is not in the holiday spirit. At all.

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Football Cat was not beat Week 8! Good effort, though.

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Bears at Bengals

Vikings at Lions

Panthers at Packers

Broncos at Texans

Falcons at Patriots

49ers at Giants

Colts at Steelers

Chargers at Titans

Saints at Rams 

Jaguars at Raiders

Chiefs at Bills

Seahawks at Commanders

Cardinals at Cowboys (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our spooky band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good luck and have a Happy Halloween!

Boo! Y’all.

Football Cat’s Week 9 NFL Picks ’25

Happy Halloween!

We at Football Cat World Headquarters would like to thank the thousands of you who mailed in your postcards with answers to this week’s FBC Burning Question©: “What would you give out to Trick-or-Treaters if you ran out of candy?” 

Every one of your suggestions was fantastic, unfortunately we don’t have the bandwidth to print them all here, but rest assured they will be available for download once the World Series is over.  Until then, enjoy this random assortment of responses:

“Blue square lapel pins” – Robert K., Brookline, MA

“A variety of Buddha faux succulent terrariums” – Arianne S., Peabody MA

“Hugs” – Mike M., Enfield CT

“Resumes” – Jerod M., North Attleborough, MA

“Disease infested blankets” – Jeffrey A., Amherst MA

“Yolks from hard boiled eggs” – Brian L., Mansfield MA

“Blue cupcakes” – Joshua M., Nashua NH

“EpiPens” – Kendra M., Jacksonville FL

“Keep your grimy fingers off my blue cupcakes f*ck face.  Give out some of those hand sanitizer bottles you’ve been swigging.” – Roger S., Nashua NH

“Serial killer vibes” – Jonathan B., Stoughton MA

“A free ride home from any detox center” – Frank S., Peabody MA

“L’s” – Steve R., Lowell MA

“Charcoal” – Bryan D., Quincy MA

“I can’t remember the question” – Corey B., Dorchester, MA

Speaking of early onset Alzheimer’s, don’t forget to turn those clocks back on Sunday

Why am I waiting an extra hour to eat?

Sunday Lunch Time
Bears (-2.5) at Bengals

Tigers lose to Bears, oh my!

Vikings at Lions (-8.5)
Jungle kings maul marauders

Panthers at Packers (-12.5)
Meatmen slice and dice black cats

I think I’d prefer the slicing and dicing

Broncos (-1.5) at Texans
Broncos nix Texicans

Falcons at Patriots (-5.5)
Patriots finally get revenge for almost losing the Super Bowl nine years ago

What did the Squirtle say to the Charmander?

49ers (-2.5) at Giants
Prospectors pinch Pituitaries

Colts (-3) at Steelers
Indianapolis Jones yanks Yinzers

Chargers (-9.5) at Titans
Bolts tingle Tits

It looks safe to me

Sunday Dinner Time
Saints at Rams (-14)

Saints get excommunicated in the City of Angels

Jaguars (-3) at Raiders
Spotty cats claw Pete’s poodles

Get busy doodle boy

Chiefs (-2) at Bills
Chiefs take down tatanka

Those are some crazy looking coyotes

Sunday Prowl Time
Seahawks (-3.5) at Commanders

Fake sea birds soar over swamp things

Monday Prowl Time
Cardinals at Cowboys (-2.5)

Cowboys cage pretty red birds

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Week 8 – Beat Football Cat!

Football Cat would never shave…points.

Can YOU pick more winners than our own Football Cat? If so, you become eligible to win prizes!

Football Cat was outpicked by the Merrimack Valley’s savviest aunt. Congratulations, lady.

How to play? Simply pick who you think will win this weekend’s games. (Sunday and Monday only, Football Cat negotiated no non-holiday Thursdays) Pick more winners than FC, and you can win either a The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack or a $25 Supermarket Gift Card! Your choice as to Market Basket, Big Y, Shaw’s, or Stop & Shop! (Or another, if you are outside the New England Area)

Hat. Shirt. Fluff.

(One winner per week. In the event of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random. Winners remail eligible to also win in future weeks.)

Here are this weekend’s NFL matchups:

Dolphins at Falcons 

Bears at Ravens 

Bills at Panthers

Jets at Bengals

49ers at Texans 

Browns at Patriots

Giants at Eagles

Buccaneers at Saints

Cowboys at Broncos

Titans at Colts

Packers at Steelers

Commanders at Chiefs (Tiebreaker – total points scored)

Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of the first listed game) or, if that isn’t your bag, post them on the Twitter and our merry band of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants!

Good luck and let’s have fun out there!

Very Superstitious

Football Cat’s Week 8 NFL Picks ’25

The call is coming from inside the house!

With Halloween only one week away you are probably looking for a fun, yet simple, way to get into the spooky spirit. Little did you know that bone chilling excitement is just a phone call away.

  1. Traverse into the eerie elements of the other world and encounter those who lurk in the night. Call the Halloween Haunted Hotline at 585-IF-U-DARE! Carefully choose your fright, not all who call survive the night.
  2. There are many haunted attractions in New England, but none scarier than the House on Harris Road in Nashua, NH. Home of the infamous “Death Couch”. Those who dare sit on the sofa will be doomed, and not just because they’ve come in contact with its sticky coating of ectoplasm. Within the past three years there have been documented cases of a man suffering a debilitating stroke, another being institutionalized (multiple times), numerous extraterrestrial visitations and one actual death happening to people after they’ve sat upon the cursed couch. If you’re interested in purchasing it, or some old ceiling tiles, you can call 603-881-6980. In lieu of cash, blue cupcakes will be accepted in trade.
  3. In celebration of the Halloween season, Sony Pictures and Ghost Corps have launched a brand-new campaign, letting fans both call and text the Ghostbusters. If you’ve got something strange in your neighborhood to report, pick up the phone and call (or text) 516-718-TRAP.
  4. Wrinkles the Clown is no Stephen King character, but that doesn’t make this real-life clown any less creepy. Based in Naples, Florida, this clown offers a wide variety of services, like performing at parties and intentionally scaring children. Calling 407-734-0254 sends you to his voicemail, where we’re told you can hear a pretty chilling message.
  5. Would you like to speak with Frankenstein’s monosyllabic monster? Then just dial 617-779-7937 any weekday afternoon between 2 pm and 6 pm. Remember he has an abnormal brain, so please be patient and speak slowly.
Bread good… ratings BAD!

Just remember that standard message and data rates may apply.

Sunday Lunch Time
Dolphins at Falcons (-7.5)

Penix penetrates porpoises

Bears at Ravens (-6.5)
Scary black birds spook da’ Bears

Frightening

Bills (-7.5) at Panthers
Hairy cows rub black cats the wrong way

Jets at Bengals (-6.5)
Stripey cats maul Jets

49ers at Texans (-1.5)
Mac gives Houston problems

My good friend Mac continues to own

Browns at Patriots (-7)
It’s no longer Drake may… it’s Drake IS!

Drake-a-mania grips Hub!

Giants at Eagles (-7.5)
Philly dash Dart

Sunday Dinner Time
Buccaneers (-4.5) at Saints

Bucs cook Cajuns

Cowboys at Broncos (-3.5)
Denver does Dallas

We said Denver, not Debbie… D E N V E R

Titans at Colts (-14)
Indianapolis Jones whips Tits

Sunday Prowl Time
Packers at Steelers (-3)

Packmen rout Rodgers

Looking sharp

Monday Prowl Time
Commanders at Chiefs (-12.5)

KC shuts down DC

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

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