Turkey fans enjoy giving out gobbles this time of year, but what about America’s fastest, and fattest, growing dietary subgroup the Porksaterians? Well don’t worry Porky, we’re here to satisfy you with a serving of oinks.
Grant Huckvale (a.k.a. Hogdale): Hogdale carved a niche for himself as an overly exuberant alternative broadcaster to the stoic and bland official Red Sox play-by-play teams on NESN and WEEI. Over the summer you’d see Hogdale clips occasionally retweeted into your timeline, usually after Red Sox wins, and you’d think to yourself “I think that’s the tops“. We probably all agree that Hogdale is special. Smash cut to present day, and we are confronted with a hog of a different color. Barstool, in an effort to fill an obese chromosomically challenged void in their lineup, swooped in and waved a lucrative (by part-time minimum waged Iowan standards) five figure contract in front of Hogdale’s snout and lured him into their slaughter house. Now Hogdale’s giant screaming maw is ever present, ever hot takey and ever annoying. To quote Rocky IV: “What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster”. 4 oinks š·š·š·š·
That will do pig
Thanksgiving early eaters time Packers at Lions (-2.5) Jungle Kings slice and dice Cheese Heads
Thanksgiving late eaters time Chiefs (-3.5) at Cowboys Squantos feast on the Pilgrims
Thanksgiving overeaters time Bengals at Ravens (-7) Scary Black Birds bury Burrow’s boys
Black Friday Afternoon Nap time Bears at Eagles (-7) Birds bully Bears
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Fake real Snoopy or real fake Snoopy? Here’s how to tell.
Bill really should have done better with picks 29 thru 32 in the first round of the draft, caller.
I hope the young Red Sox players took note of Loweās textbook feet first slide into second on his double in the 7th.
Going to Philly for Kobeās birthday is the ultimate ālook at meā move.
Giving everyone a variation of the job title Dummy was a mistake on our part. The flow chart is very confusing.
Tim Hill of the New York Yankees has horse thief physiognomy.
John Dennis also gave himself over to a higher power in a Cracker Barrel parking lot.
Todd Choi just took to the official Fictional Friction account to dispel rumors he has retired from the band. It amazes me on a daily basis how much fake made up clickbait is out there every hour. And how many people believe it without considering the source and circulate it.
Not charging a error because the guy doesnāt touch the baseball is the dumbest logic on the planet.
Cakes are cooking for Chip Douglas, Tuesday Weld, G. W. Bailey, Barbara Bach, Charles Fleischer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Alex Lifeson, Peter Stormare, Derek Warwick, Robert Richardson, Bernhard Langer, Tom Ford, Downtown Julie Brown, Cesar Millan, Chandra Wilson, Jim Thome, Tony Kanal, Chris Imes, Mike Smith, Jonny Moseley, Mase, Sarah Chalke, Aaron Paul, Sarah Neufeld, Patrick J. Adams, and Breanna Stewart.
Why do dads NEVER sneeze at an appropriate volume?
The Miz deserves all his flowers, btw. Always entertaining. Solid matches. Main event. Mid card. Comedy. Ambassador. Heās valuable. #SmackDown
So Felger doesn’t talk to Jim Murray off the air? Stick tap to Mike for that.
Worcester Line Train 510 (5:45 am from Worcester) will terminate at Framingham today. Passengers will be accommodated by the next inbound train to depart Framingham Train 1512 (6:35 am from Framingham) will make all local stops.
The Moreno family in Saniago says hi.
Masataka Yoshida means ‘slow dribbler’ in Japanese.
Hey gang of yoked weirdos, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Yeah, go power wash the trees, I don’t give a fuck, just leave us alone.”
Someone told Fred Toucher that black is slimming and he just fucking ran with it.
A kid tangentially related to the Anaheim Ducks died of brain cancer. Shukri will be his biggest mourner once he finds out who this guy was.
physiognomy is just a phenomenal descriptor.
Whenever I see service dogs, they seem way happier than I would be if I were in their paws. If I were a dog I’d want to be lazy all day, the last thing I’d want to do is work. But I reckon they’re thrilled because it means they’re always included.
Has anyone in in history said, āman those lip fillers are hotā?
Red Sox will open the 2026 schedule in Cincinnati against the Reds March 26..
Vancouver – St Louis might have been the most fixed MLS game ever.
Kinda love Rajon Rondo forgoing his destiny of being an NBA coach to play flag football.
Love Love will keep us together Think of me, babe whenever Some sweet-talking girl comes along Singing his song Don’t mess around You just got to be strong
Just stop ‘Cause I really love you Stop, I’ll be thinking of you Look in my heart And let love keep us together
Iām going to make this crystal clear for everyone in case it isnāt already: I cover Inter Miami. I am not a fan of Inter Miami. I report impartially on what the team does ā whether itās good, bad or in between. Iām not here to cheerlead, sugarcoat or do Inter Miami PR.
Honk if you remember Samuel Gompers.
If you get annoyed at the gym every day thatās on you at some point.
God donāt like ugly.
Am I supposed to know who the father/son guys are in the Gillette Labs razor commercial?
I love the in-game interviews with the ESL infielders.
Gotta feel for Shedeur & Shilo. Second generation professional athletes never can catch a break!
Iāll be honest, Mazz tweeting with replies turned off is a great troll job.
Neemias Queta. Owning.
Itās the 58th anniversary of Tartabullās Throw. Good Red Sox fans know what that means.
Best bet for the weekend: college football being officially back with Week 1 action.
We love BdlG but those sunglasses are wearing *her*.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The summer’s out of reach.
And a happy birthday to American actress Alexa PenaVega.
If Stefon understands the new playbook as well as he understood the Met Gala ‘Black Dandyism’ theme, good times ahead in New England.
If I were the Celtics I simply wouldn’t have missed 45 out of 60 of my 3-point shots.
Popular player with the additional benefit of recency bias wins popularity contest. Oh noes! Congratulations Julian.
Why do I love small ball so much?
Unfortunately because of my knee injury I sustained at the end of the season I wasnāt be able to attend the Met Gala in NY last night as so many people have been asking and congratulating me on! Hate to miss an historical event! My beautiful powerful Queen was there holding the castle down as she always has done!
May the Fourth only Star Wars Day if you have a lisp.
Interacting with me on this app is like dumping a packet of pop rocks in your mouth and then taking a swig of sprite and shaking your face around. I wouldnāt have it any other way. True story tho.
Get well soon Triston.
Celts and Knicks have only had two playoff series since 1990. Damn.
St Louis got the Jim Montgomery Experience.
Cakes are cooking for Christy Moore, Bill Danoff, Randall ‘Tex’ Cobb, Amy Heckerling, Phil “Wizzƶ” Campbell, Ronnie Harmon, Chris O’Connor, Eagle Eye Cherry, Katerina Maleeva, Breckin Meyer, Matt Helders, and Cameron Young.
I don’t think Ben Volin knows what a liquidation sale is.
May 7, 1925: Pittsburgh Pirates shortstop Glenn Wright records a rare unassisted triple play. Against St. Louis in the 9th inning he catches a liner hit by Jim Bottomley, steps on second base to retire Jimmy Cooney and tags out Rogers Hornsby. Still, the Cardinals win, 10-9.
I like how religious Jerry Thornton is after years of celebrating 13-year-old boys fucking their teachers.
Hey gang of hall monitors! Thsis week’s Phrase that Pays is, “With all due respect you look like you just woke up on a hospital floor.”
I hope the Lakers waited for the Clippers at LAX for the trip to Cancun.
How come I never see the Mets at the Met Gala?
Same old Red Sox that we have seen for four years, isn’t it? Play well for a week, give away games the next, injuries at key spots, players playing positions they’re really not good at, middle relief is as reliable as Motel 6 air conditioning.
Just had a beer in the Cask with Justin Topa’s dad.
The Bill Russell Bridge (aka the new āClose the fuckinā bridge!ā Bridge) and Boston Harbor are awash in green (the Harborās color about 35-40 years ago).
Sometimes a morning shower really hits perfectly.
Orange Line Reminder: Beginning at 8:30 PM Friday, May 9, through end of service Sunday, May 18. Shuttle Buses replace service between Oak Grove and North Station due to MassDOT bridge work.
How many goddamn slaves you need for a camel race?
I shouldn’t confuse Lily-Rose Depp and Millie Bobby Brown. But I do.
So I just learned that thereās a Wahlburgers about 5 miles away. I love a good burger, but not with a ton of crap on it. Meat, cheese, mustard, bread. Maybe some bacon. Not paying for crap I donāt want to eat.
Go on and close the curtains ‘Cause all we need is candlelight You and me, and a bottle of wine To hold you tonight (oh, yeah) Well, we know I’m going away And how I wish, I wish it weren’t so So take this wine and drink with me And let’s delay our misery:
Save tonight, and fight the break of dawn Come tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll be gone. Save tonight, and fight the break of dawn Come tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll be gone.
I got a dwi one Halloween dressed as Hulk Hogan. Couldn’t even get Jimmy Hart on the phone. Someone threw an apple at my head.
Honk if you remember Shelley Long.
It’s got to kill the media to finally get rid of Belichick but then have to deal with Joe.
Hey Dart Adams: What were the circumstances surrounding John Amos leaving Good Times? $ or creative differences?
Mammoth? Like the rock band named after the rock band?
I canāt hear C.F. McCarthyās without thinking of Tipsy McStaggers.
Thereās still time to fire Kerr and replace him with Jim Park.
Maybe Will Campbell knew he was getting drafted by the New England Patriots and thatās why he wore green. He knew it was his last night to wear New York Jets colors.
Best bet for the weekend: earnest but hopeless attempts to serve mom breakfast in bed.
Pamela Anderson goes makeup free and looks incredible at the 2025 Met Gala.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, Bill James, and the members ofĀ #the15 wereĀ used in thisĀ column.Ā Victory!
OK, that was mean. Here’s actress Sydney Sweeney who was also at the Met Gala.
Know this: After throwing out the first pitch along with his 1975 AL Pennant winning teammates, Carl Yastrzemski was back home before all the jets that did the flyover had landed.
Sox fans. Feeling a little better now? Itās a long season, in case nobody ever told you.
Has any other adult ever tried one of those Squishmallows blankets? Theyāre ridiculously cozy!
Val Kilmerās death didnāt feel real. But then I saw Rear Admiralās obit on Barstoolā¦
Even when the racially confusing broad isnāt on the NESN broadcast OāBrien and Merloni make me feel like theyāre pitching me timeshares.
What a demeaning existence. Gresh wouldāve been guarding the kingās drawbridge 500 years ago, but now heās stuck discussing Geno Auriemmaās legacy on something called āInfSportsNetā at 1am.
Rafael Devers runs like Charles Durning in When a Stranger Calls.
And now it’s Houston that can’t buy a basket in the waning moments. Congratulations Florida.
I donāt trust grunting pitchers.
Cakes are cooking for Dennis Quaid, Kirk McCaskill, Cynthia Nixon, Graeme Lloyd, Jacques Villeneuve, Gerard Way, Clare Bronfman, Keshia Knight Pulliam, Yoanna House, Milan BartoviÄ, Adam Loewen, Leighton Meester, Kristen Stewart, Elle Fanning, Lil Nas X, and Brooke Raboutou.
Bad news for my enemies, I woke up.
Whoever let Eduardo Perez get into broadcasting is a monster.
Isn’t Oblivio a Spider-Man villain?
Red Line Reminder: April 10-30 Service between JFK/UMass & Ashmont will operate with a shuttle train on each track. A shuttle train is one train, operating back & forth, between Ashmont & JFK/UMass on a single track. Riders on the Ashmont Branch should expect longer wait times for trains during this work. Please transfer to the Braintree platform at JFK/UMass for continued service towards Alewife.
Am I the only one who thinks Kelvin Sampson looks like OJ Simpson? Noticed the other day and canāt unsee it.
The Denver Nuggets should hire Mina Kimes. Sheās so smart.
Nice tribute to Luis Tiant above the Monster, similar to the ones for Tim Wakefield and Larry Lucchino last year. Hopefully the Sox wonāt need to put one up next season.
“Hey gang of landlubbers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “So my ex-girlfriend has joined the Navy and wants to see me before she leaves for Bootcamp.”
Heās gonna cross the sauces so hard tonight.
Wait, so Duran tried to kill himself because a law librarian bullied him?
Unless these MIT dorks invent a torpedo arm to help the Yankees pitchers throw the ball past people, this team isnāt going anywhere.
Okay, so the Russian beat the Canadian’s counting stat NHL total. Big deal.
āRinging in the doughā? Is that a phrase?
Jay Williams who hasnāt wrecked his bike in like 20 years using āpanic and miraculousā as his āone word to describe the Houston/Duke gameā is peak ESPN.
‘Back to the Future’ but itās Marty singing Jelly Roll at the school dance, and the entire crowd beats him to death.
Bruce Pearl is a slob.
When teams give extensions, theyāre not just paying the player, theyāre paying the person. Kristian Campbell is not the kind of guy thatās gonna be changed by money. He wants to learn and he wants to be great. Wholesomeness level at 100 just a great dude who worked to earn this.
Congrats to Marisa Ingemi, US Basketball Writers Association 2025 Rising Star.
Do you like PEEPS? I love PEEPS
The pretty ones who have no discernible talent but also don’t want to show their cooch are in a tough spot.
Another suburban family morning Grandmother screaming at the wall We have to shout above the din of our Rice Krispies
We can’t hear anything at all. Mother chants her litany of boredom and frustration. But we know all her suicides are fake.
Daddy only stares into the distance. There’s only so much more that he can take. Many miles away Something crawls from the slime At the bottom of a dark Scottish lake.
I was asked today about my NBA comp for Cooper Flagg. I went with Scottie Pippen. I believe itās a compliment to both, and also accurate. Obviously no comp is ever 100% on the money. But I will say, comparing Flagg to only white players seems lazy and uninformed.
Carl Yastrzemski is the bizarro Bobby Orr.
The World Egg throwing Championship will take place in June in Swaton England. Assuming the competitors can afford the eggs.
Gary Gaetti and Tim Wallach are kind of the same player, aren’t they?
This is a super old guy take, but one of the things I like best about the tournament as opposed to every NBA game is that there’s nothing being played over the PA system while the game is being played. Everything’s about the game. The constant barrage of sound stinks.
We will use the dire wolves to hunt the de-extinct wooly mammoths.
So itās just now registering that Wally the Green Monsterās name is āWallyā because of the wall. Is this a revelation for anyone else? Clarifying that I understood the green monster part. The āWallyā for the wall part? Right over my head.
Fun fact: cookies and seafood are different.
If your favorite outfielder isn’t Wily Mo PeƱa, are you really a fan?
Honk if you remember Fernandomania.
A lotta kids shredded their rotator cuff because of that Canobie Lake Park radar gun.
Whose wife did Mike Malone bang?
RIP Octavio Dotel. I’m going to have to stop using the phrase, ‘as safe as a Dominican nightclub’ now.
So down to The Masters, how’s Tiger hittin’ em?
We unfroze our Yaz bread after the 2004 World Series. It smelled like cigarettes.
Best bet for the weekend: more much needed rain.
And that’s a sweep of the Knickerbockers.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members ofĀ #the15 wereĀ used in thisĀ column.Ā Aja, when all my dime dancin’ is through, I run to you.
And happy birthday to Czech-born supermodel Paulina Porizkova.
Soon. A little home cookin’ is what this team needs.
It’s never a good sign when your publicity stunt is initially thought of as an April Fool’s Day prank.
Officially tuning into Devers at bats like itās Sosa-McGwire.
If it is the University of Denver, why do they go by DU? That doesnāt make sense. What am I missing @DU_Pioneers?
I just paid $7 for a loaf of bread. I hate it here.
Starting to believe the Red Sox might actually need THE BUTCHIE.
All baseball bats are torpedo shaped.
Flexing the gift card in the photo like it’s an Audi key fob.
I feel like people who grew up without money save things for a rainy day. And itās really an unfair system.
‘Dan Campbell but he grew up further away from power lines’ is a tough sell for me.
Cakes are cooking for Reggie Smith, Emmylou Harris, Ayako Okamoto, David Robinson, Juha Kankkunen, Christopher Meloni, Keren Jane Woodward, Clark Gregg, Bill Romanowski, Greg Camp, Tammi Reiss, Roselyn Sanchez, Pedro Pascal, Adam Rodriguez, Rory Sabbatini, Michael Fassbender, Jeremy Bloom, Yung Joc, Jesse Plemons, Quavo, and Zach Bryan.
I’d like to think Parcells has as much use for a red jacket as Belichick does for an AFC championship trophy.
Isaiah Stewart needs like a hug or a role model or something.
MBTA CR – Greenbush Line trains will experience severe delays due to police activity on the right of way in the Cohasset area.
All the best hitting coaches tell you to flare your elbows, be as rigid as possible, and slide forward with every swing.
I can tell Iām turning into a curmudgeon because I hate almost every internet ātrendā or gimmick or whatever. Like this dude with his ice and his banana can fuck off. I just get irrationally angry whenever I even see a banana near some ice water now.
Irons is just mad I got a free Big Gulp yesterday morning.
Original Mystique?! The chairs are cooking now!
Pretty, pretty good road trip, Celtics.
Jack Clark hit the second most impactful home run of the 1980s. Prove me wrong..
Richard Chamberlain was the Wilt Chamberlain of gay guys.
A team secretly made new bats? This like the 1983 Americaās Cup all over again!
Can you brandish anything other than a weapon?
Hey now, you’re an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey now, you’re a rock star Get the show on, get paid (And all that glitters is gold) Only shootin’ stars break the mold.
Needy Kraft gets the attention he craves, the local media gets their hero Duane shoehorned (tracksuited?) into the Pats HoF, it’s a Win-Win-Lose!
I once forgot to wear my shoes in the house and was limited to only five vacation weeks that year.
Honk if you remember Dennis Conner.
I know it has been a long time and nobody cares, but there is no way in hell Kevin Mitchell was more valuable than Will Clark in 1989.
NEWSMAX debuts on the New York Stock Exchange and Bianca isn’t there to ring the bell? Outrageous!
A: Store brand.
Jeff Howe still hasnāt broken the Stefon Diggs news.
Irons is just mad that his teeth arenāt the color of roasted almonds.
Why does Bill Simmons pronounce it āMim-phis?ā
I’m just saying stop bothering us with your life-altering family tragedies.
Best bet for the weekend: a #1 seed winning. Or two!
BdlG saved her points for a rainy day.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I grew up lower middle class.
Happy birthday as well to Serbian fitness model Jelena Abbou.
Interns beware! It’s that festive time of year again, tonight is the “The 15’s Annual Office Holiday Party”. ( It used to be the “The 15’s Annual Office Christmas Party”, but Carl did 23andMe this past year and, oy gevalt, he’s suddenly kosher.) But have no fear! Whether you spin the dreidel, or your savior was born in a stable, all you have to do is follow Football Cat’s 7 simple tips for a funtastic Office Holiday Party…
Spot the total number HR violations in this picture! Whoever comes closest will win a bonus day off* (*unpaid)
Show Up: You do not want to be labeled as a party pooper. Get your ass to the party, they’ll be free drinks (see Tip #2).
Drink: Drink! There’s nothing people like more than talking about the person who had too much to drink at the office party. You’re just providing a public service.
Eat: If you don’t eat, you’ll get drunk too fast (see Tip #2). It’s science.
Dance: On the floor, on the table (see Tip #2) , whatever it takes.
Talk to the Big Boss: Make sure you’ve had a couple of drinks first (see Tip #2) . And make it quick. Get in, get out. Don’t linger.
Play Your Transportation By Ear: You’re going to drink (see Tip #2) so don’t drive, but don’t plan ahead either. There’s definitely someone in the office with Clara Barton Syndrome, or maybe it’s Clara Nightingale Syndrome – whichever the nice one was. It doesn’t really matter, just don’t puke in Clara’s car.
Be Prepared: Bring an extra pair of underwear, your toothbrush and your passport. You never know what will happen (see Tip #2).
Good luck and have fun (see Tip #2)!
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Chiefs (-4.5) at Browns Chiefs scalp the Elves
Payback is a bitch
Bengals (-5) at Titans Stripey Cats pancake Tits
Tigers and pancakes? Someone’s getting cancelled.
Commanders (-7) at Saints Godless Commies decanonize Saints
Ravens (-14.5) at Giants Scary Black Birds jar Giants
Cowboys at Panthers (-2.5) Scary Black Cats spook America’s Team
I’m dreaming of a Black Sunday
Jets (-3.5) at Jags My Good Friend Mac finally owns!
This time for sure!
Dolphins at Texans (-3.5) Texans barbecue Dolphins
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Colts at Broncos (-4) Big Broncos corral lil’ Colts
Go Horse(s)!
Bills at Lions (-2.5) Hairy Cows trample Jungle Kings
Steelers at Eagles (-5) Yinzers take the Keystone State Cup
Patriots at Cardinals (-6) Pretty Red Birds fly past Mayo’s men
Stay strong Drake-A-Maniacs!
Buccaneers at Chargers (-3) Brother Jim Hawkins’ gang zaps swashbucklers
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Packers (-3) at Seahawks Fake Sea Birds aren’t in the mood for Love.
MONDAY EARLY PROWL TIME Bears at Vikings (-7) Vikings plunder hibernating Bears
Sounds like a Pixar movie
MONDAY PROWL TIME Falcons (-5) at Raiders Too bad Jerry Glanville isn’t alive to see his Falcons take down the Elvis impersonators #RIP
Wait… what?
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Welcome to November! As a gift just for you, Football Cat is giving you an extra hour of sleep on Sunday. Just remember Football Cat’s internal clock is still on Daylight Saving time. Please be considerate to your cats.
Why haven’t I been fed yet?
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Cowboys at Falcons (-2.5) Birds beat Boys
Broncos at Ravens (-9.5) No post-Halloween hangover for the Scary Black Birds.
Halloween is over people
Dolphins at Bills (-6) Hairy Cows trample Tua
Saints (-7) at Panthers Black Cats get skinned on All Saints Day weekend
Raiders at Bengals (-7) Stripey Cats save their season
roar
Chargers (-2) at Browns Elven magic short circuits the Bolts
This would be a much better mascot than Brownie
Commanders (-3.5) at Giants Red wave drowns the G-men
Patriots at Titans (-3.5) Ass over Tits
As far as the state of New York is concerned, you are the “ASSMAN”
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Bears at Cardinals (-1) Not even two Hail Marys and three Our Fathers will beat the Bears this week.
Better get Pete McNulty on the phone.
Jaguars at Eagles (-7.5) American Birds poop on Spotty Cats
It’s s fun hat
Lions (-3.5) at Packers Jungle Kings devour Meat Men
The lower extremities are never on sale
Rams (-1.5) at Seahawks Rams steamroll Seattle
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Colts at Vikings (-5.5) Vikings rape and pillage poor Jumpball Joe.
Poor Joe
MONDAY PROWL TIME Buccaneers at Chiefs (-8.5) The march towards perfection continues.
TUESDAY ELECTION TIME Remember,when in doubt vote Football Cat. Vote early and vote often!
Welcome to the “Era of Good Felines”
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Every quip on Twitter by a broad talking about what an Uber driver āsaidā to them is made up. Every single one.
What if the Toronto Polar bear has a humiliation fetish? Way to kink shame.
Dave O’Brien still can’t stop talking about a pitcher’s tempo even though there’s a pitch clock.
Jayson Tatum is Tatuming.
So we have one eyeshadow guy that likes the Patriots draft thus far, and one that hates it.
Maple Leaf Square should be renamed āStaple Loss Squareā with how many times the Leafs get their lunch handed to them by the Bruins in the playoffs.
Did SkyCrepers pull out of sponsoring the Rich Keefe All Night Draft Party?
Brad’s going to trade that Executive of the Year Award for two second round picks and then turn those picks and an expiring contract into a 2027 first.
Cakes are cooking for Frank Beard, Rita Coolidge, Joanna Lumley, John Woo, Jerry Heard, Douglas Barr, Paul Teutul, Sr., Dann Florek, Ray Parker Jr, Nick Feldman, Dick Swett, Eddie Johnson, Steven Cauthen, Gary Clark, Yvonne von Gennip, Tim McGraw, Yael Arad, Bryan Marchment, Wes Anderson, Alex Van Pelt, Stuart Appleby, Curtis Martin, Wes Welker, David Backes, Ryan Matthews, Marcus Stroman, Anfernee Jennings, and Charli D’Amelio.
Iām sure Durant will be happy on the next team he goes to.
Hey gang of supplicants and courtiers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “You sound like a bafoon.”
I aināt calling some other dude Kool-Aid.
Oatmeal raisin cookies are the identity thieves of the cookie world. From a distance you think theyāre chocolate. Adrenaline spikes in anticipation of chocolatey morsels and that refreshing swig of ice-cold milk. Then you get nearer and realize youāve been bamboozled. Crushing!
Are the rappers fighting again?
The smartest thing to ever come out of Lucyās mouth is Curtis’s dick.
Folks, this should probably be pretty self-evident, but, for the record; I have 2FA enabled on literally everything I have setup in my life (which alerts me to login attempts or resets). Please, do not violate the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1996. I will report it. K? Thx.
WEEI fired Kadlick the day before the Draft Party. You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh.
No Bron-Bron?
What’s this about Coach Mayo having a mural of himself depicted as a centaur installed in Gillette?
Red Line Reminder: May 2-10 Shuttle buses will replace Red Line service all day between Park Street and JFK/UMass due to track work. Shuttle service extends to Ashmont after 8:30 PM each day through May 9.
Aloha means goodbye. Norman Esiason, Aloha.
Marquette WBB junior wing Lee Volker has withdrawn her name from the portal.
Them Red Sox, they could continue to surprise!
We as a society do not give enough credit to the Reeseās Take 5 as one of our most superior candy innovations.
āBrainteaserā stumping everybody on Wheel of Fortune is a little too on the nose.
I won a really snazzy record player at an event for my grammar school. Which is really cool but now I need to buy records. Thinking ‘Nebraska’ or ‘Born to Run’ for my first purchase. Feels like a whole new world – straight back to my childhood.
The others were untrue But when it came to lovin’ you I’d spend my whole life with you ‘Cause you came and you took control You touched my very soul You always showed me that Loving you was where it’s at You made me so very happy I’m so glad you came into my life.
Thank you baby. Yeah yeah-yeah.
I don’t know, is Chicago even allowed to have a good non-Jewish quarterback?
Honk if you remember Francis Gary Powers.
Woke up the other morning and my wife left me a post-it saying, āVontae Mack no matter what.ā Ooops. Sorry. Eyes blurry. It says, āPick up dry cleaning.ā Draft day!
What’s the deal with all the crane flies this spring?
I hope Kendra keeps this same energy when one of her 98.5 co-workers inevitably says something racist. Again.
I used to ride an electric scooter to and from train stations commuting for work so I get the appeal of them. But these people now who have scooters to get from the garage to the job LITERALLY ACROSS THE STREET is peak laziness.
Being a Leo is great because anytime I’m accused of wanting attention I’m like, yeah literally astrologically I feel no shame about that.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Remember — itās okay to ask for help. You sad little nancy.
“EDGE” is not a position. It’s called defensive end.
No one has the right to call Nick Cattles an idiot. Everyone has the responsibility to call him an idiot.
Jose Ramirez is fascinating, because he doesn’t look at all like one of the five best players in baseball, but he is. He doesn’t look like he would be fast, but he is. Sort of in the Rick Reuschel/deceptive body class.
The Heat have signaled they want to quit. Finish them, Celtics.
Conversely, Uber drivers make up stories about things sportswriters tell them.
Where are all the yellow seats, Dale? Reinstall them!
Best bet for the weekend: The Patriots doing something cringe on Cinco de Mayo.
The Aggregator Vanishes.
Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members ofĀ #the15 wereĀ used in thisĀ column. And I can’t get away.To Live and Die in L.A.
And happy birthday to actress Joy Harmon, who you may remember from this scene in ‘Cool Hand Luke’.
The 15 