Author Archives: scartsy15

04/02/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on by Leave a comment
Soon. A little home cookin’ is what this team needs.

It’s never a good sign when your publicity stunt is initially thought of as an April Fool’s Day prank.

Officially tuning into Devers at bats like it’s Sosa-McGwire.

If it is the University of Denver, why do they go by DU? That doesn’t make sense. What am I missing @DU_Pioneers?

I just paid $7 for a loaf of bread. I hate it here.

Starting to believe the Red Sox might actually need THE BUTCHIE.

All baseball bats are torpedo shaped.

Flexing the gift card in the photo like it’s an Audi key fob.

I feel like people who grew up without money save things for a rainy day. And it’s really an unfair system.

‘Dan Campbell but he grew up further away from power lines’ is a tough sell for me.

Cakes are cooking for Reggie Smith, Emmylou Harris, Ayako Okamoto, David Robinson, Juha Kankkunen, Christopher Meloni, Keren Jane Woodward, Clark Gregg, Bill Romanowski, Greg Camp, Tammi Reiss, Roselyn Sanchez, Pedro Pascal, Adam Rodriguez, Rory Sabbatini, Michael Fassbender, Jeremy Bloom, Yung Joc, Jesse Plemons, Quavo, and Zach Bryan.

I’d like to think Parcells has as much use for a red jacket as Belichick does for an AFC championship trophy.

Isaiah Stewart needs like a hug or a role model or something.

MBTA CR – Greenbush Line trains will experience severe delays due to police activity on the right of way in the Cohasset area.

All the best hitting coaches tell you to flare your elbows, be as rigid as possible, and slide forward with every swing.

I can tell I’m turning into a curmudgeon because I hate almost every internet “trend” or gimmick or whatever. Like this dude with his ice and his banana can fuck off. I just get irrationally angry whenever I even see a banana near some ice water now.

Irons is just mad I got a free Big Gulp yesterday morning.

Original Mystique?! The chairs are cooking now!

Pretty, pretty good road trip, Celtics.

Jack Clark hit the second most impactful home run of the 1980s. Prove me wrong..

Richard Chamberlain was the Wilt Chamberlain of gay guys.

A team secretly made new bats? This like the 1983 America’s Cup all over again!

Can you brandish anything other than a weapon?

Hey now, you’re an all-star
Get your game on, go play
Hey now, you’re a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
(And all that glitters is gold)
Only shootin’ stars break the mold.

Needy Kraft gets the attention he craves, the local media gets their hero Duane shoehorned (tracksuited?) into the Pats HoF, it’s a Win-Win-Lose!

I once forgot to wear my shoes in the house and was limited to only five vacation weeks that year.

Honk if you remember Dennis Conner.

I know it has been a long time and nobody cares, but there is no way in hell Kevin Mitchell was more valuable than Will Clark in 1989.

NEWSMAX debuts on the New York Stock Exchange and Bianca isn’t there to ring the bell? Outrageous!

A: Store brand.

Jeff Howe still hasn’t broken the Stefon Diggs news.

Irons is just mad that his teeth aren’t the color of roasted almonds.

Why does Bill Simmons pronounce it “Mim-phis?”

I’m just saying stop bothering us with your life-altering family tragedies.

Best bet for the weekend: a #1 seed winning. Or two!

BdlG saved her points for a rainy day.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. I grew up lower middle class.

Happy birthday as well to Serbian fitness model Jelena Abbou.

03/26/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on by Leave a comment
Diggs now has 69 million reasons to play hard for Coach Vrabes.

Why not just make the entire city out of sports arenas?

I have referred Domantas Sabonis to Tom Homan for immediate deportation.

Need an entry to sports, other than just turning the game on? Try Katie Nolan’s newest short-lived show.

Jalen Rose was dressed like he’s the captain of a cruise liner.

On the one hand, it’s not MY money, but on the other, Diggs is on the wrong side of 30 and coming off an ACL injury.

Scal looks like he has the opposite of whatever Mookie is suffering from.

Chisholm buys the Celtics. Chisholm, MN was home to Archibald “Moonlight” Graham. You mean Doc Graham.

You sound like someone who has no streaming friends.

It’s sad to hear George Foreman died, but I’m glad it wasn’t George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, or George Foreman. No father should have to bury a son.

Cakes are cooking for Bob Woodward, Diana Ross, Steven Tyler, Fran Sheehan, Vicki Lawrence, Alan Silvestri, Martin Short, Tony Papenfuss, Leeza Gibbons, Chris Hansen, Marcus Allen, John Stockton, Kevin Seitzer, Ulf Samuelsson, Michael Imperioli, Kenny Chesney, Leslie Mann, Larry Page, Irina Spîrlea, Anaïs Mitchell, Keira Knightly, Jessica McClure, Von Miller, Paige VanZant, and Danielle Bregoli.

Ben Simmons is Australian. He has trouble when playing in the northern hemisphere.

Goats are low-key everywhere.

Overly wide pelvis is the “short arms/small hands” of the WNBA scouting report.

Hey gang of true insiders! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “He’s way too leveraged. Go ask around about the deal.”

Josina Anderson tweets like a four-star general who’s been kicked in the head by a horse.

The NFL Competiton Committee now has released its proposed rule and bylaw changes, including expanding instant replay to cover “objective aspects of a play and/or to address game administration issues when clear and obvious video evidence is present.”

Cooper Flagg is going to Philly because I can’t have nice things.

Mattapan Trolley: Shuttle buses replace service from 11:30 PM to the end of service on March 26 – 27 for trackwork.

Sabonis accidentally injures a lot of people.

FYI If you like Beetlejuice, Walmart has a ton of Beetlejuice apparel on sale.

If Tyrese Proctor were a doctor he would be Doctor Proctor. And what’s more, if he was an ass doctor, he’d be a proctorologist! No applause necessary.

And it’s a free for all in the parking lot
Tell me who will rule the street
And the night explodes
When the cops bring down the heat

And the chains they crash like thunder
While the weak ones all retreat
Gotta draw first blood
Or they’ll read your funeral rights

When the lightning strikes

Have more arcane requests at the deli counter. 2/5 a pound of turkey? Get the actual fuck out of here.

There’s only room for one Pastor Pedo Defender in this town.

Honk if you remember Diego Segui.

I am begging the Red Sox to give Campbell a better # before opening day. He just isn’t a #28

Is anyone else triggered by sports figures referring to the “DNA” of a team, describing attributes that don’t have ANY similarity to DNA?

People wouldn’t be giving Coach Hurley all this guff if he were Italian.

Playboy 92 Harris Rd anytime you want that smoke.

Thanks to Celtics City i learned Dave Cowens was Shaughnessy and Ryan’s hero and basically a fucking flake. Manny with a motor and fewer dead grandmothers.

You have to leave Boston to visit Flavortown now.

If you’re asking Jim Murray for literally anything you absolutely need to kill yourself. There’s no other option.

Inviting the wrong person into a group chat? Who would do that?

Best bet for the weekend: the return of baseball (and hope) to the region.

Fred Lynn Swann? Zesty!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Cool the engines. Cool the engines down.

And happy birthday to actress Jennifer Grey, who may have had some work done.

2025 Round of 32 and Schedule Updates

Posted on by Leave a comment

The remainder of the Round of 32 went as predicted, save for the Andy Hart upset of Zolak, of whom the local meathead-American community views as one of their own and won’t vote for. Ponderous.

The Salty Sixteen Round will take place Monday, March 24th, the Hateable Eight later that same week. Thank you to all the voters and spectators.

So, if you have been enjoying this year’s Mediot Tournament, or the ones previous, or the Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer columns, or the articles investigating our local sports media, or the Twitter hijinks of the local collaborative, please consider making a one-time donation. Site registration isn’t free. The Crowdsignal plug-in that tabulates the votes costs money as well. Or in the alternative visit our The15 Genuine Merchandise page and buy a shirt or a mug? Up to you. Don’t make a maniac out of me. Thanks for reading.

One-Time
Monthly
Yearly

Make a one-time donation to The15net.com

Make a monthly donation

Make a yearly donation

Choose an amount

$5.00
$10.00
$20.00
$5.00
$15.00
$20.00
$5.00
$15.00
$100.00

Or enter a custom amount

$

Your contribution is greatly appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

Your contribution is appreciated.

DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearly

03/20/2025 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Posted on by Leave a comment
Nice game, rook.

Scheierman has the game of his life and gets Jackie Mac instead of Abby in the walk off interview.

The Pitino Redemption Arc is my favorite sports store in many a year.

Love Abby, but her doing play-by-play was a little ambitious considering she sounded scared to death to chime in occasionally during last season’s clamcast. Maybe shoulda had her sub in for a quarter or two earlier in the season.

I’ve just had delivery of 3 pizzas I did not order. I have called the police.

It’s like fucking Mardi Gras over here. Boston is a St. Patty’s destination now. 20 years ago, you wouldn’t come w/o chaperone.

Bregman is a fun little new toy.

What was the over/under on Karen Read trial related fistfights on and along the parade route?

Anthony Pepe has tried to get on Entitled Town on multiple occasions.

You ever been to Dealey Plaza?

I’m unbothered by Coach Bill fobbing off his social media emails to Jordon. When you have a philosopher/entrepreneur right there you’d have to be an idiot not to use them.

Bruins dead cub bounce seems to be over.

A league source tells The15 that the team will be sold to William Chisholm, managing director of Symphony Technology Group. Chisholm grew up on the North Shore and is a lifelong Cs fan.

Cakes are cooking for Carl Palmer, Robert Gordon Orr, John de Lancie, Jimmie Vaughan, Holly Hunter, Sting(wrestler), Kathy Ireland, Manny Alexander, Jane March, Christy Carlson Romano, Ruby Rose, and Allisen Corpuz. (No cakes for Pat Riley or Spike Lee.)

The longer I spend on this earth the more easily I am convinced Warren Zevon is the greatest songwriter of all time.

Italians! In Providence! That’s just crazy!

Hey gang of Granite State roundtrippers! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “It looks like a post-apocalyptic child’s party.”

Mattapan Trolley Update: This delay has cleared. Shuttle buses are being phased out.

Tracy Morgan shitfaced and playing it off as a medical issue to avoid the embarrassment? That’s Drew Magary’s move!

RFK banning food additives and ingredients is not going to save you from the fact that you eat in a massive caloric surplus and refuse to do ANY type of exercise. Your children pick up on the habits you have, so it’s not going to save them either. Do better.

Citizen surveillance isn’t free, playboy.

MBTA heat is on in the 2nd red line car from the front, train is heading southbound to South Station.

Hypnotize on a Saturday night at MSG. Enough said.

Kay Adams….elite mouth. But ultra-premium vodka thinks that’s too much filtering.

Xavier has a fat cheerleader.

Does my Buffalo Wild Wings account REALLY need to have two-factor authorization?

Rotillo is a huge St. John’s fan now? Nice.

Know this: Peter Gammons loves two things: rocking out and stroking out. Also, baseball.

Bipolar Bravado is my early Kentucky Derby pick.

I gotta say, on the list of ballsiest demands, URI telling media to pay $20 for professional parking is up there. Fix your shitty WiFi first, then you can start doing stuff like that.

Well, I’m gonna treat you like the queen you are
Bring you sweet things from my candy jar
You’ve got tricks you ain’t never used
Give it, give it to me, it won’t be abused

I’ve been watching you for days now, baby
I just love your sexy ways now, baby
You know our love will never stop now, baby
Just put your loving in my box now, baby

Wrap it up, I’ll take it
Wrap it up, I’ll take it

I have to keep checking if it’s Morgan Moses or Moses Morgan. I know I’ll screw it up at least once.

Tom Wakefield made every day count.

I’d probably bang Red Panda if given the chance. But that may be the Flexeril talking.

Honk if you remember Bob & Ray.

Using “Green Teamers” as an insult is preposterous in 2025.

That Hilary Knight is a hockey player.

Jordon makes funbags-era Linda look like Garbo by comparison.

Derrick White is so good. Love that guy!

Nice hearing Andy Gresh on the national overnight radio.

Why would cough drops not be gluten free?

Happy National Doctor’s Day.

Did you ever try to calculate how many games Rico Carty missed in his career due to injuries?

I hope Bill Chisholm told his wife he was buying the Celtics.

Scoring goals in March is overrated.

Best bet for the weekend: Not St. John’s. Sorrey!

And a happy birthday to US Open winner Sloane Stephens.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, WikiFeet, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. And that’s powerful stuff.

Bianca wants you to have a happy first day of Spring. Probably.
« Older Entries Recent Entries »