The 15

Nobody picks worse acquaintances than Bill Belichick. Except maybe Ahmad Rashad.

If your lawyer wears a Hanes beefy tee you going to prison.

Have a goddamn series, Boldy! Wowza.

A solo homer when the score is 12-5 cuts the lead in half!

I love listening to Will Campbell talk.

Dummy Scal at halftime said the Celtics aren’t suddenly gonna hit a bunch of threes.

Cakes are cooking for Carl XVI Gustaf, Perry King, Phil Garner, Jane Campion, Lars von Trier, Paul Gross, Stephen Harper, Isiah Thomas, Michael Waltrip, Adrien Pasdar, J.R. Richards, Elliott Sadler, Johnny Galecki, Kunal Nayyar, Kirsten Dunst, Lloyd Banks, Gal Gadot, Ana de Armas, and Travis Scott.

How fucking funny were the Jerky Boys the first time you heard them (likely on a cassette tape)?

Sox win, and we’re having cacio e pepe for dinner. That is a perfect Sunday.

Red Line Ashmont Branch Reminder: Through end of service today, April 30. Shuttle Buses are replacing service between JFK/UMass and Ashmont.

So many smoked bunnies. Don’t you think?

I was today years old when I found out the Philadelphia Eagles logo faces left so it can form a hidden E on the right.

Celtics should’ve added Zadorov to the roster for Game 4.

Hey gang of hardball enthusiasts! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Her dad forgot to oil her, tie her up and leave her under the mattress. Now her pocket’s all loose and dry.”

Going to see Sinners later. Pretty fired up for it. Great word of mouth.

People are upset spent more time on the dynastic teams of his childhood than the most recent championship team. Very shocking stuff. Celtics twitter is one of the worst places on earth

Egregious typographical error? That’s just part of #owning.

The Sandwich Is Good … The Sandwich Is Bussin.

Maybe it’s just me, but I would like to see Campbell take a step or two up the brick-shithouse scale. He looks a little pudgy to me. Maybe because he’s just a kid …

Say maybe more.

Larry the Globe Pitchbot breaks character more often than Jimmy Fallon.

I was one of 14K+ at Fenway 39 years ago last night.

Get well soon Dame.

Susan Tedeschi is basically Bonnie Raitt 2.0, right?

Nailing hookers is alpha. Streamlines your day so you can get back to doing your elite football game planning quicker without all the nagging. Can’t date and share passwords with them, though. Big fumble, there.

The Dillon Gabriel pick makes fuck all sense now.

Must’ve been mid afternoon
I could tell by how far the child’s shadow stretched out and
He walked with a purpose
In his sneakers, down the street
He had many questions
Like children often do
He said:

Tell me all your thoughts on God
Tell me am I very far

Sorry Spam callers, I rarely answer any phone calls that doesn’t come from someone in my contacts.

Skunk cabbage!

You know who’d love a photo of a cemetery? Maria Stephanos.

It’s Daniel Whitley, not David Whitley.

Shedeur already high-hosied the chair with armrests in the Cleveland quarterback room.

Honk if you remember Father Guido Sarducci.

Um, you guys, if Jordon was a ‘tute Bob Hohler would have found out by now.

Quinten Post looks like a guy who is addicted to Mountain Dew.

I thought that was a great catch by Varsho.

Really interested in the comeback of the term “slurve”. In the 70s and early 80s there were dozens/ pitchers who threw slurves, but beginning in the mid-80s the half-and-half pitch began to acquire a BAAD reputation.

At least Giannis can go help fight the gorilla now.

Best bet for the weekend: fade the Mutnansky horses.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. No more 2025 mock drafts?