Tag Archives: NBA

12/11/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Mark Dondero will be visited by three spirits on Christmas. It will be his highest-rated show ever.

I was told Adam Hart’s relevance wasn’t tied to Belichick.

So I guess it would be fair to suggest that Foxboro and Mansfield left it all on Martinelli Field on Turkey Day? Still, congrats to our lone champion, North Attleboro, but also thanks to Mansfield, Foxboro and King Philip for their outstanding seasons. On to courts and rinks.

Drew Carter actively tried to get Scalabrine fired by asking him why Jay Huff is sneaky athletic.

The performative outrage about Aroldis Chapman didn’t last very long.

Pam Oliver looks like Roscoe Lee Brown with a weave.

Bruins done got Winnipegged.

I still think Dartmouth and not University Park when I hear ‘SMU.’

The Parkers giving their kid a zeppelin for Christmas of ‘40 is kinda problematic. Was the Old Man a Lindbergh guy?

Bet Bryan wishes he just admitted to being Jake.

Cakes are cooking for Rita Moreno, David Gates, Donna Mills, John Kerry, Brenda Lee, Lynda Day George, Brad Bryant, Jermaine Jackson, Stu Jackson (no relation), Mike Mesaros, Nikki Sixx, Lisa Gastineau, Mary Beth Zimmerman, Darryl Jones, Mike Henneman, Ben Browder, Cosy Sheridan, Dave Gagner, Dave Schools, Justin Currie, Thomas Howard, Jay Bell, Martin Blunt, DJ Yella, Mo’Nique, Sean Grande, Errict Rhett, Willie McGinest, Daniel Alfredsson, Mos Def, Rey Mysterio, Gerben de Knegt, Rider Strong, Zacky Vengance, Samantha Ponder, and Malcolm Brogdon.

I’m hearing that The Civ Report is doing Girl at the Game type numbers!

No buzz in here about the MLB draft lottery??

Being from Roslindale and ending up in Randolph is like being born on 2nd base and ending up on 1st.

The Hawk Tuah Girl’s cybercurrency thing wasn’t called, ‘SpitCoin?’ No wonder it crashed.

Orange Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem near Wellington.

What a collection of talent we have. We’re the fucking LA Dodgers of trolls, except all the money is deferred forever.

When an official gets hurt, I think the broadcast referee expert should suit up and take his spot.

Still not sure I can trust a guy named Ollie.

Hey gang of talentless journeymen, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “”I’m on my fourth team in five years. I think I know a little something about how the NFL works, Troy.”

Dart Adams? Still boring.

My current belief is that Gemini sometimes runs real simulations, but sometimes reports the results of hallucinated simulations. Which is obviously a problem.

I just found a bargain on a Canucks shirt on Fanatics.

Accidentally made my nephew cry by telling him I saw the elf on the shelf drinking from the toilet.

No better place to rehab your damaged image from racist emails than with Barstool.

I saw Wicked and that shit bangs so hard. It fucking rocks.

Yeah, we hate our lives, not the twin slobs who mainline 14 hours of sports radio a day.

Stockton got smoked.

A yellow ESPN alert on the ticker during a football game will never not fool me that there’s a flag.

In the future, everyone will rug a memecoin for fifteen minutes.

Azzez Al-Shaair hit Trevor Lawrence like, I don’t know, a plane hitting some sort of tall building.

Seriously, though, when is the award-winning Kendra Middleton on the radio?

Rockin’ around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop.
Mistletoe hung where you can see every couple tries to stop.
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas spirit ring.
Later, we’ll have some pumpkin pie, and we’ll do some caroling.

You will get a sentimental feelin’
When you hear.
Voices singin’, “Let’s be jolly (ooh)
Deck the halls with boughs of holly.”

Rockin’ around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday.
Everyone dancin’ merrily in the new old-fashioned way.

For 2025, Wilyer Abreu vs. Teoscar H is kind of a 50/50 proposition. Over the next 3 years, Wilyer will have twice as much value as Teoscar. Over 5 years, three times as much.

As a bit of a fragrance expert (I am a collector) I will be testing this Trump perfume out and reviewing it.

You can have your Dame Time. I’ll take my Holiday Time.

Sources: The New England Revolution are set to name Gillette as their new jersey sponsor. This deal has been in the works for some time.

Honk if you remember the JFK Lufthansa Heist.

Time for another December of ‘who the fuck are these people that sent us a Christmas card?’

You took what’s yours, Shawsheen Tech Rams.

Everything that you are involved in, please do the research and learn to educate yourself.

‘Chuck Terrific’ is the name DJ Bean uses at the glory holes.

Remember if you see standing water on the road you can probably get through it – it’s probably not as deep as you think.

Commissioner Silver’s performance as Nosferatu is Oscar-worthy.

I can’t believe that WEEI interviewed a guy who spent a month on the Patriots in 2005 as a Belichick expert. Well, I guess I can.

All the fanciest domiciles have “unit” in the address.

I have a Chinese symbol for the word foot tattooed on my foot.

Larry Fitz Senior is the black Curt Schilling.

Best bet for the weekend: the Kansas City Chiefs win by two scores for a change.

“I asked Coach Tomlin if he expects Russell Wilson to return. He said, ‘most likely’, then blinked a lot. Back to you guys.”

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Red Six, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Just to win the love of a girl like you.

And happy birthday to actress-singer Hailee Steinfeld.

11/27/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Welcome back big fella.

Jaylen is so ripped watching him guard fatty Harden makes it look like he’s guarding Shukri Wright.

The Red Sox were in on Snell. Okay.

If you were one of those folks who took it upon themselves to put a bunch of campaign signs all over the place, I genuinely appreciate your dedication to democracy, no matter whom you backed. But it’s been a week. Go clean up your deal.

If Bill was still working for the Krafts there’s no way he’d be allowed to print in color.

Good showing, RIFC. Get ’em next time.

He’s actually a great guy, great dad, great coach. I’ve watched him break up potential fights before they happened. So instead of 2 dads spend the weekend in prison, Greg controlled the situation. He is a very nice man and a pillar of the community, he volunteers his time.

When my mom knows the Patriots’ personnel better than the offensive coordinator something is very wrong (Granted, she’s also a diehard who rocks a Hannah jersey, but still…)

You can tell that Civian hates all the unwanted attention she gets, because she continually seeks the unwanted attention.

Cakes are cooking for Kathryn Bigelow, Curtis Armstrong, Bill Nye*, William Fichtner, Caroline Kennedy, Mike Scioscia, Steve Oedekerk, Charlie Benante, Mike Bordin, Fisher Stevens, Robin Givens, Fiachna O’Braonáin, Garry Valk, Nick Van Exel, Jon Runyan, Martin Gramatica, Chad Kilger, Jaleel White, Jimmy Rollins, Ricky Carmichael, Alison Pill, Lashana Lynch, and Omar Jimenez.

Yams and sweet potatoes are interchangeable and don’t let anybody tell you different.

Right-hand catching goalies always look like they’re playing with borrowed equipment haha. But Askarov having nice debut for SJ.

Did you see Football Cat’s Picks? Well why not?

I know this is simple math, but doesn’t Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium follow from expansion of the generating function (p*x + q*y)^2? Allele frequency remaining constant follows from renormalization, as expected number of x alleles is 2p and y alleles is 2q.

If you consider the old Browns and the Ravens to be the same franchise, then all 32 NFL franchises have spent at least one week in last place of DVOA since 1979.

Blue Line Update: Normal service has resumed between Wonderland and Orient Heights.

Is Sacco up to the awesome responsibility of coaching the Centennial Game?

Kadlick/Kyles is the new Paxton/Pullman.

Is Frosty Bias on Bluesky? I need assurances that I’ll be reminded daily that Reggie Lewis and Len Bias are dead.

Hey gang of amphibious Spaniards! This week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I would tongue that ass til I tasted Fall River.”

I am not a Christmas girlie, but having siblings with kids makes it way more fun.

News Item: Bertucci’s is debuting a brand new concept, and its first location will be in Boston.

How am I the least chill guy on Twitter?!

Man, it seems like the Lions and the Cowboys play EVERY Thanksgiving!

After all the jacks are in their boxes
And the clowns have all gone to bed
You can hear happiness
Staggering on down the street
Footprints dressed in red
And the wind whispers
“Mary.”

All the suckers getting to the airport early means you can get there 55 minutes before your flight leaves.

Honk if you think Ted Williams should have won the 1941and 1947 AL MVP Award.

Sam Kennedy would like you to know that the Sox are just so darn disappointed Snell decided to go with another offer but that coming this spring to America’s favorite ballpark you can get a Guy Fieri smash burger and a cup of New England’s favorite Legal Seafood chowder for only $89!

ESPN putting out playoff rankings every week that are 100% meaningless and using that as an excuse to do a segment where Paul Finebaum yells about it is terrorism.

Does the Herald still run ‘Clip’ Callahan’s HS football article every Thanksgiving?

Bit of a stumble out of the gates for UConn MBB.

Is Bill James okay?

Breaking: Daniel Jones to sign with Vikings’ practice squad after release from Giants, per sources.

Best bet for the weekend: Open Newbury: Holiday Stroll! Join us for car-free shopping and holiday fun on Sunday, December 1, and Sunday, December 8. Fun!

Anyone who false starts is a Patriots offensive lineman. Anyone that commits holding is a well-disciplined Patriots offensive lineman.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, BSMW‘s Lazslo Panaflex, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. You want it all, but you can’t have it (yeah, yeah, yeah) It’s in your face, but you can’t grab it (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Jeanne Crane and friend wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.

11/20/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Emirates NBA Cup fever-catch it!

No one goes undefeated anymore. Not the Chiefs, not the Cavs. No one.

Ah, the old ‘use an Emirates NBA Cup group stage game as cover to fire the hockey coach’ trick.

Nick Pivetta declines qualifying offer, per source. You go, Breslow!

Larry Johnson, a great guy who’s been reunited with his feet in Heaven. RIP.

Carter’s best attribute is being paired with Scal.

I love when people suggest pulling the team off the floor as if anyone would ever do that.

Chris Forsberg should have a wetter voice.

Mark Daniels is a one-man ‘The Onion’ headline generator.

Cakes are cooking for Dick Smothers, Joseph Biden, Norman Greenbaum, Veronica Hamel, Joe Walsh, Jacqueline Hansen, John Bolton, Rodger Bumpass, John Van Boxmeer, Mark Gastineau, James P. McGovern, Sean Young, Ming-Na Wen, Mike D, Alex Arias, Chris Childs, Jeff Tarango, Callie Thorne, Sabrina Lloyd, Joey Galloway, Jerald Moore, Dierks Bentley, J.D. Drew, Dominique Dawes, Nadine Velazquez, Carlos Boozer, Jared Followill, and Michael Clifford.

Last week the neighbor invited me over to watch the Tyson fight. Is it 1996?

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I mourn Vince Young’s career every day.”

Nashua, it’s like a baby Philadelphia.

I’ve seen very little evidence that Trey Lance is a real person.

LinkedIn is so pointless other than for cyber bullying.

Dondero is like these new age weed growers that cross pollinate strains of weed and call it like ‘Bazooka Man Vagina’ or some shit.

Dakota wasn’t wrong about loser DNA. He just had the wrong guy and not Embiid.

Pagliuca is starting to look like Joe Pesci playing David Ferry in JFK.

Does Mark Daniels have such an underbite from getting his teeth kicked in over and over?

The Commonwealth is famous for giving Sacco’s a fair shake.

Paul George did not sign a super max, nor was he eligible for one or needed one, as they are reserved for players with under 10 years of service to be able to exceed their normally limited maximum % of the team’s salary cap based on certain performance benchmarks, allowing them to then make up to 35%, instead of 25% or 30%, with 35% being what Paul George was already eligible to be paid as he had played 14 years in the National Basketball Association.

It’s fair to wonder how much Shukri’s angry video influenced Sweeney decision.

Qatar MNT superfan Alexi Lalas cosplaying as an American fan is interesting/

Ty Jerome does not jump as high as his name would imply.

We live in a tough time where it is most wise to save money, but there’s more ways than ever to spend money and everything is more expensive.

Larry Johnson was blacker than Deuce Tatum.

Denver is just a big sprawling suburb with the mountains in the background.

e in – Cuddy.

Netflix is that kid that tells 4 friends to come over his house cause his parents are away for the weekend.

Honk if you remember Bruins Head Coach Mike Sullivan.

Curran rapes Phil Perry weekly.

Neely and Sweeney will have run through Julien, Cassidy, and Montgomery yet are not on the hot seat themselves? How come?

I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
I’d have said the right thing
But must have used the wrong line
I been on the right trip
But I must have used the wrong car
Head is in a bad place and I wonder what it’s good for

I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
My head is in a bad place
But I’m having such a good time
I’ve been running trying to get hung up in my mind
Really got to give myself a good talking to this time

Bo Nix has been named the AFC Offensive Player of the Week. He’s the first Broncos rookie QB in franchise history to earn the award.

Maybe it’s just me, but if the game was officiated correctly, I think the Celts win by 30.

Bryan Mata and Isaiah Campbell DFA’d.

If picking up disoriented guys is a skill, give Steve Buckley the gold medal.

I’m now all-in on the Drake Maye over hype. It’s the quickest way to get Mayo fired.

Bert Breer has fetal alcohol syndrome eyes.

I’m going to work “Culture Metric” into all facets of my life.

I generally prefer Principalities over Emirates.

Argonaut Arbuckle with a backup QB performance for the ages in the Gery Cup final.

Best bet for the weekend: a speed matchup in Miami.

May your green recliner be comfortable and your bowl of snack orbs bottomless, Larry.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Prepare yourself, you know it’s a must. Gotta have a friend in Jesus. So you know that when you die, He’s gonna recommend you to the spirit in the sky (spirit in the sky)

And happy birthday to actress Bo Derek.

11/13/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Good Comeback. Good Win. Good Kid.

Nice win out in St Louis, Bruins. Monty might still be the coach for the Centennial Game!

It’s really cruel of the NBA to introduce another title that the Knicks can’t win.

There is a better chance of the tooth fairy floating into your room tonight, kicking your ass and drinking all your beer than the Red Sox signing Juan Soto.

One does not simply walk into Bobby Dodd Stadium at Hyundai Field.

Pasta is great, but it’s not a side.

Cakes are cooking for Joe Mantegna, Roger Steen, Gilbert Perrault, Merrick Garland, Andy Ranken, Tracy Scoggins, Chris Noth, Whoopi Goldberg, Aldo Nova, Charlie Baker, Greg Abbott, Neil Flynn, Blair Rasmussen, Vinny Testaverde, Jimmy Kimmel, Mark Fitzpatrick, Pat Hentgen, Gerard Butler, John Francis Zingg, Noah Hathaway, Metta Sandiford-Artest, Asdrúbal Cabrera, Lando Norris, and Emma Raducanu.

Cavemen must have had mad hemorrhoids, wiping their hairy asses with leaves and whatnot.

Did we throw Strahan in Gitmo yet?

It’s WILD that Tommy Boy had a contest so if you could properly identify the sample used in the hook of De La Soul’s “Plug Tunin'” single back in Fall ’88 you could win $500… That’s equivalent to $1333 in 2024.

The local scribes were this excited and optimistic when last year’s Patriots team got win #3, right? Right?

BlueSky’s getting more beta. Heyooooooo!

Kevin Owens joining the Bloodline 2.0 would be so insane and I’m all for it.

That Dickerson tweet is amazing. “Just teaching my son to be an asshole to total strangers for no real reason. So proud.”

At least they don’t need to air the old man smell out of the White House now.

Hey gang, of vowel purchasers, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Treat yourself to a round of sausage.”

Excited to report kids in middle school are still reading Mike Lupica books.

Quin Snyder looks like a Tom Hanks stunt double in Philadelphia.

Red Line Reminder: November 18-24 Shuttle buses replace service between Harvard & Broadway for track work. Shuttles will not directly service Park St or Downtown Crossing. Riders can board at Haymarket & State.

I thought John Basedow died in the tsunami.

Jalen Ramsey has the busiest facemask I’ve ever seen for a DB but he pulls it off.

I wasn’t going to watch the NBA Cup tournament until they debuted a new design on the ball.

We lost Carlo Imelio? Sad. Often beaten, never defeated.

Good to see Steve Kerr (who was missing Podziemski and Melton) was still able to find a way to play eleven players IN THE 1ST QUARTER(!) of the game in a sport he’s adamant you can’t do that kind of thing in.

It’s been six months
She hasn’t shut up once
I’ve tried to explain
She’s driving me insane

She won’t even miss me when she’s gone.
But that’s OK with me, I’ll cry later on.

Talk to ya later.
Don’t wanna hear it again tonight.
I’ll talk to ya later.
Just save it for another guy.
Oh, talk to ya later.
Don’t wanna hear it again tonight.
I’ll just, see you around.

Something about Mountain Dew with Chinese Food just hits.

Honk if you remember Pat Paulson.

Mookie Betts is a Silver Slugger Award winner for the fourth time with the Dodgers and seventh time in his career.

Are eggs two bucks a dozen yet?

The Bears have released veteran G Nate Davis, who they shopped prior to the trade deadline. He started 13 times over the last two seasons for them.

Have you not turned the heat on in your house yet? Let us know in the comments.

I did it. I made it not rain. I bought new wiper blades. Sorrey!

Baylor Scheierman impresses in his G-League debut.

Halloween candy at only 33% off, CVS? That’s not gonna cut it. Fifty!

It’s gonna be funny when Surgeon General RFK throws the ‘celebrity’ callers/change counters in the Guantanamo Bay Weight Loss Camp.

News Item: The Ground Round restaurant returning to Massachusetts.

Best bet for the weekend: McVay outduels Mayo on short rest.

No, I don’t think I will.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Emo Phillips, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Heard it in a love song. Can’t be wrong.

Bianca de la Garza staying hydrated at her book release party.

No Quit in Queta – Celtics Column

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

A loaded Celtics team faced a hidden challenge heading into the preseason: How would they manage the minutes when Al Horford wasn’t on the floor, given Kristaps Porzingis would be out until at least Christmas?

Maybe this guy?

The Celtics’ offensive strategy was well-balanced this season: – They ranked among the top 3 teams in three-point attempts – Simultaneously maintained a strong post presence (2nd in post-up attempts) – Led the league in post-up efficiency (1.13 PPP)

Queta doesn’t shoot threes, but he dunks. Like, a lot. In Boston’s first seven games, Queta dunked eight times in 97 minutes(!). Playing against a team lacking in size like Golden State, Queta feasted, dunking four times in 28 minutes in his largest stint of the season. Queta dominated with four dunks in 28 minutes, his longest playing time of the season.

Boston doesn’t need to be great in the paint to win. They do need to be a credible threat so when the defense collapses they aren’t discombobulated when the threes aren’t falling and they’re being blocked from the basket.

Last season backup center Luke Kornet played the role as an effective stop-gap big man. He was a steady presence, able to use his long arms to disrupt offenses by effectively protecting the rim and jumping to block the shooters view of the basket, which became nominally known as the “Kornet Contest.” However, his ability to score efficiency fell off. His previous mark of 70% from the field now sits at 58%.

Queta: – Opponents shoot 59% from 6 feet – 5.7 attempts per game

Kornet: – Opponents shoot 62% from 6 feet – 4.4 attempts per game

The trade-offs between Queta and Kornet are: Kornet is longer, can cause disruption on the defensive side more effectively than Queta. Queta is way more athletic and provides an energy reminiscent to Robert Williams. Dunks are among the most valuable shots in the modern NBA, and Queta possessing the ability to bulldoze his way to the basket at will is a helluva ace to have up your sleeve.

Queta, not Tatum or White or Jaylen Brown, is Boston’s leader in net rating this season at plus-20.2. Sitting prettily above Shai-Gilgeous Alexander at 7th on the net rating rankings. A lot of this has to do with Tatum’s effectiveness with the all-bench lineup, where the fruits of Joe Mazzulla’s brand of basketball really takes shape. Generating clean open looks from beyond the arc, that also makes the paint more accessible for players like Queta to capitalize off lobs and PnRs.

Given these promising early returns from Queta’s performance, there’s strong reason to believe he’ll provide excellent value on his current contract. If Queta can merely do what Kornet did last season and keep the team afloat in the dog days, he’ll exceed the value of his small $2.2 million contract.

2.4 million USD is 2,252,886.51 Euros in Queta’s native Portugal

Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcastHe does not live in Albufiera.

11/7/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Good for Mookie. Bad for Red Sox Ownership.

Well, Suzyn, um, in life…

No way that wasn’t an illegal screen no matter what Marc Davis and whatever Knicks or Nets fans were reviewing the play from New York thought. Shameful.

The game was over as soon as the Dodgers tied it with that five-run outburst. Falling behind for a few minutes was just a minor bump in the road. Some of you know nothing about momentum and body language and it shows

Halloween happens every time The NY Jets play.

The Pivetta qualifying offer makes perfect sense. On Bizarro World!

Lamelo Ball looks like emo John Oates.

Cakes are cooking for Johnny Rivers, Joni Mitchell, Alex Ribeiro, David Petraeus, Christopher Knight, Liam Ó Maonlaí, Calvin Borel, Andre Hastings, Emily Lesueur, Dan Houser, Yunjin Kim, Kris Benson, Tarek Salah, Marcus Luttrell, Mark Philippoussis, Mike Commodore, Will Demps, Adam Devine, Elsa Hosk, Courtney Marie Andrews, and Lorde.

The only reason Gabrielle Starr wanted to get to the press box was so she could literally look down on people instead of just figuratively.

I’m gonna glaze Wemby when he’s playing like this in May Not October.

Alley-oops from the floor? Ok, Ja! Ok!

Hey Gang of immortals, this Week’s phrase That pays is, “Sal, It’s a sports Bonanza.”

Red Line Reminder: November 5-10 Shuttle buses replace service between Broadway & North Quincy for track work. Commuter Rail will be fare-free between South Station & Braintree.

I’m sorry. . .who exactly has been disrespecting Tom Brady?

Absolutely stacked country new music friday last wk.

Ordway’s way of saying stuff like he’s smart but being a gigantic dummy is infuriating.

Paul Pierce’s wheelchair thought Mahomes needing two people to help him off the field was ridiculous.

I was seriously considering Switching to Rich. Alas.

Drake Maye is tall. Got a big arm.

News Item: Australian breakdancer Raygun announces retirement following viral performance at Paris Olympics.

The Bruins aren’t a .500 team.

Oh sure. Like Jason Kelce never called Travis a faggot.

She had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton back in 1965.
She had legs that never ended,
I was halfway paralyzed.
She was tall and cool and pretty, and she dressed as black as coal.
If she asked me to, I’d murder, I would gladly lose my soul.

Now I lie in bed and think of her.
Sometimes I even weep.
Then I dream of her behind the wall of sleep.

Gerrit Cole is the mentally weakest ‘Ace’ since Roger Clemens.

I like Twitter because it combines my two favorite forms of communication: texting, and throwing a note in a bottle out into the sea.

Honk if you remember Jeanne Zelasko.

Michael Hurley looks like a Rob Ninkovich you bought off Temu.

Run, Bobby Dalbec! Be free!

Florida has announced that it won’t be making a head coaching change and is sticking with Billy Napier.

Bucs, you should have gone for two.

I bet they’re really going to boo the next time the Warriors play in Boston.

Best bet for the weekend: Hunter Henry being dependable.

(Stick tap Old Friend Miz)

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Emo Phillips, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. The dark side’s coming now, nothing is real. She’ll never know just how I feel.

And happy birthday to the first supermodel, England’s Own Jean Shrimpton. Here seen in a 1965 photo.
My colonoscopy you ask? It went fine. As healthy and pink as Kevin ‘The Hammer’ McNamee!

10/30/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Wait, what?

Monday was really more a Sports Syzygy than a Sports Equinox. IMO.

Guys, here’s some inside info, Patriots media has been getting pizza for decades. Usually on Wednesdays. Only in season.

That Freeman cat has to be the odds-on favorite to win World Series MVP.

No pressure Bruins, but there are hundreds of young ladies on social media who have tied their mental well-being to your win/loss record.

I just read Taylor Mathis for the articles.

I’m not sure it’s fair or ethical for Shams to use his contacts in the ISI to break NBA news.

Imagine running someone over and getting to grift via Vanity Fair. White bitches have the easiest life.

Cakes are cooking for Grace Slick, Otis Williams, Henry Winkler, Timothy B. Schmit, Harry Hamlin, Charles Martin Smith, Mario Testino, Shanna Reed, Kevin Pollak, Danny Tartabull, Mark Portugal, Michael Beach, Gavin Rossdale, Quin Snyder, TY Detmer, Masanori Hikichi, Snow, Ben Bailey, Dino Philyaw, James Pedro, Nia Long, Patrice Tardif, Ian Snell, Ivanka Trump, Trent Edwards, Thomas Morgenstern, Ashley Graham, Nastia Liukin, Marcus Mariota, and Cale Makar.

Headline: Cryptobros Con Curvaceous Clod

Mel Brooks is going to outlive everyone who was in his movies.

I think if they give Aaron Boone a few more years he’ll finally figure it out.

Did you guys hear Pritchard played pick up with some random kid?

The WNBA going to a seven game finals next season really opens up the field for some devastating knee injuries.

Red Line Update: This delay has cleared.

A player who drives in 100 runs in a season will drive in runs in 60-61 separate games, on average. On the other hand, a player who scores 100 runs in a season will score a run in about 75 games, on average.

I really don’t know what I’d do without Doughboy being open 24 hours. We must protect that establishment at all costs.

Taylor Mathis went full Allbright.

Hey gang of malignant narcissists! This week Phrase that Pay is, “Do our WORD mean anything anymore?”

Just had an EPIC 30 minute ride with my son. Nice back and forth. He started with someone named Playboy Carti(not a fan). I countered w/Biggy. He went Lil Uzi (a fan), I went Tu PAC. He came back with Future(a fan). I closed him out with Ice Cube.

Rumor: Jerod Mayo is being brought on as Kirk Minihane’s new producer.

After Henson replaced him against Notre Dame, Tom put the lyrics to Crash Into Me in his AOL away message.

I hate gay halloween what do you mean you’re a complete piece of shit?!?

Cashman having the job for life is kinda wild. I mean I would have been fine letting Bill have it for life, but how do the Yankees keep a GM that hasn’t won in 15 years?

Tony Brothers should never officiate another game ever again.

I bet I would be the best-looking dude at my high school reunion if they had bothered to invite me to it which they did not.

Where are all the Ted Sarandis voters, caller?

Am I the only person who likes Rockstar’s game design, even if it is outdated? I play Rockstar games for their specific experience, which no other developer does for me. GTA. Bully. Red Dead. You play them for the Rockstar experience.

I miss Taylor’s terrible gambling advice. And her boobs.

Look at us baby, up all night.
Tearing our love apart.
Aren’t we the same two people
Who lived through years in the dark?

Every time I try to walk away.
Something makes me turn around and stay.
And I can’t tell you why.

All the best criminals hire professionals to dispose of evidence 18 months after the crime in full view of the public.

Fun Fact: the world population reached three billion in 1960.

No, because it’s a random Tuesday night and I’m sobbing thinking about how the Celtics arguably needed to trade Marcus Smart to ultimately go on and win the Championship, but it just seems so unfair he couldn’t be there to win one with them.

The vampire bat has a scary name but does much good, eating up to twice its weight in vampires every year.

Dudes don’t have birthday weeks.

Do you think someone could solve the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum heist if they increased the reward money to, say, fifty times the current amount?

Honk if you remember The Rumble in the Jungle.

News Item: Red Sox hiring Rays director of predictive modeling Taylor Smith to a high-ranking front office role, likely as an assistant GM. Gas up the duckboats, boys!

Bert Breer thinks I’m using ‘I’ and ‘me’ too much this column.

Please get up, Taylor Hendricks.

Every Yankee fan looks like the third drawing in the ‘evolution of man’ procession.

Was someone clamoring for a Gladiator sequel?

Best bet for the weekend: you gaining an hour of sleep.

Happy Halloween from Morgan Fairchild.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Emo Phillips, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Don’t you want somebody to love? Don’t you need somebody to love? Wouldn’t you love somebody to love? You better find somebody to love.

And happy birthday to French actress and model Clémence Poésy.

10/9/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

El Tiante.

Swayman had got his contract signed. Our short, regional nightmare is now over.

Thank God the Patriots made the Maye announcement on Tuesday. It would have been a shame if the Texans didn’t have a full week to prepare.

Be careful out there, Floridian friends.

Peppers has made $34MM in his career and rents an apartment in Braintree? He should be cut for that reason alone.

“Hey, can I ruin your photo?” – ‘Fitzy’

Luis Clemente Tiant Vega; taken from us too soon. Cigars and a crazy wind-up. He was called, ‘El Tiante’, which means, ‘The Tiante.’ Rest in peace, amigo.

Do the Mohegans have a legend about a wily Lynx defeating the Sun? Maybe they should.

It’s not Giancarlo’s fault! Bob Costas is basically what everyone always said Joe Buck is.

So the Manning’s spent time wondering if Matt Patricia had a special pencil that worked on a laminated play sheet? Another chess move by Bill.

Cakes are cooking for Nona Hendryx, Jackson Browne, Brian Downing, Richard Chaves, Sharon Osbourne, Tony Shalhoub, James Fearnley, John O’Hurley, Scott Bakula, Don Garber, Ini Kamoze, Michael Paré, Mike Singletary, Trevor Matich, Guillermo del Toro, Dwayne Sabb, Polly Jean Harvey, Annika Sorenstam, Kenny Anderson, Brandon Pollard, Dexter McCleon, Steve Burns, Sean Lennon, Nick Swardson, Brian Roberts, Henrik Zetterberg, Marie Kondo, Jacob Batalon, and Ben Shelton.

Blue Line: Delays of about 10 minutes due to a signal problem at Wood Island.

I just got beeped at in drive thru line at Doughboy. It’s rather concerning if the general public no longer understands the concept of a drive thru line.

It’s almost like choosing as Belichick’s heir apparent a man whose post-playing career talent ceiling is ‘casino greeter at Plainridge’ was a bad idea.

Veal Parm is the greatest of Parms for Subs.

Hey gang of incurable romantics, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “Everyone knows that the portion of the brain used for critical thinking is markedly less developed in women, honey.”

I’m fine with it not being tonight and surprised Goldberg wasn’t getting that Saudi check versus Gunther, but you gotta pull the trigger on Sami, Great matches with Gunther, Cody, Roman all as challenger. The Sami Hogan shit is corny. Put the belt on him in the next 12 months

It’s 2024, don’t get offended if I tell you i won’t eat your dish made with Rao’s or Ragu jarred sauce. it’s not that serious. I don’t like it, you cannot change my mind. I am sure you are a wonderful cook. it’s not personal

First they came for William Bendetson, and I said nothing…

Someone should ask Mayo if he knows he can make these decisions without consulting the press.

I have a peck of apples to eat from last weekend!

What do you call “imposter syndrome” when it’s not a syndrome?

Tasing is lame. Just shoot him.

Vegans and people from Texas; They’re going to shoehorn that fact into every conversation in any way that they can.

Look, he’s crawling up my wall.
Black and hairy, very small.
Now he’s up above my head.
Hanging by a little thread.

Boris the spider.
Boris the spider.

Now he’s dropped on to the floor
Heading for the bedroom door.
Maybe he’s as scared as me.
Where’s he gone now, I can’t see.

Boris the spider.
Boris the spider.

Just when I thought D daddy bald daddy NBA champion daddy White couldn’t be any cooler. I need this hoodie of him tucking in Tatum’s best friend the Larry O’Brien Trophy into bed immediately

The world does need Rat Shovelers.

The Kraft’s have their team back. It’s an awful, irrelevant team, but hey, it’s theirs!

Honk if you remember Dean Smith.

When the Red Wings fans throw an octopus onto the ice, the team either needs to have a player leave the ice or they get called for a too many men penalty.

Joe Kelly is the modern Moe Drabowsky.

Yaaaaa Sully … Mayo’s got a plan, kid, yaaaaaaaaa!

A: Nothing, she’s already been told twice.

Few things are more annoying than when the referees constantly delay the game by making unnecessary “Delay of Game” calls. Hold up the game 20 seconds because the snap was a half-second late.

Drake Maye’s lifelong dream is about to come true and Greg Dickerson thinks he should be depressed.

Best bet for the weekend: someone earns their True Yankee pinstripes.

Where did Mayo get these captain’s patches, Needful Things?

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Creepy, crawly, creepy creepy crawly crawly.

Happy Birthday to The L Word actress Erin Daniels.

9/25/24 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Shiny.

Any time you can needlessly accelerate your coaching succession plan by two years you have to do it.

The best NFL broadcasts come from the website where I buy $3 knockoff USB chargers that may or may not catch fire.

Anyone who used “Woj Bomb” unironically is an asshole.

I’ve thought about starting my day watching the Vince McMahon documentary. But not sure I have it in me this early.

It’s not a rivalry if the same side keeps winning!.

Is it me or is there a ton of injuries already this NFL season?

Major Red Sox uniform news: The Red Sox will unveil a City Connect 2.0 uniform in 2025 and will no longer wear their blue alternate jerseys. Given the popularity of the yellow uniforms, they have elected to keep it as a core uniform offering for the foreseeable future.

Cakes are cooking for Michael Douglas, Gil Morgan, Cheryl Tiegs, Anson Williams, Pedro Almodovar, Burleigh Drummond, Mark Hamill, Bob McAdoo, Jimmy Garvin, Jamie Hyneman, Michael Madsen, Scottie Pippen, Will Smith, Catherine Zeta-Jones, David Weathers, Dean Ween, Doug Pelfrey, John Lynch, Bridgette Wilson, Matt Hasselbeck, Chauncey Billups, Rocco Baldelli, Jason Bergmann, Van Hansis, and Cade Cunningham.

What does it say about Emerald Square that a herd of bulls at a carnival there couldn’t get out of the place fast enough?

‘Mirror in the Slideshow ‘ sounds like a Taylor Swift album title.

Tatum gets shit on for everything he does but tattooing a picture of yourself onto your back is wild.

One cheer for the 2024 Red Sox for refusing to quit now despite having previously quit a whole bunch of times.

On Saturday, September 28 only, Red Line Braintree Branch diversion will be expanded to include Ashmont Branch. This allows crews to take advantage of construction equipment in the area to remove a speed restriction on Ashmont Branch.

Should I invest in one entity that historically has never lost money or should I invest in the other entity that has rehab programs akin to alcoholism and drug abuse?

Looks like Mercury Morris’s perfect record of being alive is finally over.

Local 26 Hotel Workers putting on a good display outside the Omni Hotel the last couple days. They’ve had people holding the line overnight. Love a good picket line.

Oh no, Old Friend Trent Brown strained his left fat.

Minority position, I know, but Tanner Houck needs a pitch count like a turtle needs a microphone. In the last two years he has been taken out of countless games when he was pitching great. What he needs is a manager who will tell him “Keep pitching; you’re doing great.”

I’m sorry, Jey Uso is popular, but he isn’t Jeff Hardy popular.

“Wheel of Fortune” puzzles went from ‘Alice In Wonderland’ to ‘Say homes, how’s it hangin’, bruh?’.

You’re right, Bill Belichick sucks. Let the fat fucking deli loser handle things.

Bulletin, Bulletin, Bulletin!!! The semi-functional Shohei Ohtani is piling on. He now is 6/6 with 3 HR, 2 SB and 10 RBI.
We’re not worthy.

Hey gang of the marginally employed, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, ‘Settle down, you fat retard, and go get Adam Jones his Ensure.”

I’m following Depeche Mode on Twittah. Not sure when that happened.

Darnold appears to have escaped an initial injury scare. Massive collective sigh of relief from the 612.

Reiss is only 5’2″–are we sure he can carry that much water?

Fun fact: Today has exactly 12 hours of daylight.

Make a wish baby
Well and I will make it come true
Make a list baby
Of the things I’ll do for you
Ain’t no risk now
In lettin’ my love rain down on you
So we could wash away the past
So that we may start anew…

O’Brien and Youk talking endlessly about hot dogs? Make it stop.

Jrue might also have a tattoo of himself on his back. But how would we know?

Honk if you remember Miss Jean.

Dickie V has so much radiation in him they should call him Chernobyl.

Those Emerald Square bulls were five years too late to ransack the Skycrepers kitchen.

THE BUTCHIE isn’t real and cannot hurt you.

Have we lost perspective on what torn cartilage in your rib cage must feel like?

With the loss of the Athletics, there will be even less there there in Oakland as there was previous.

News Item: Brad Marchand has shed his red noncontact jersey for Bruins practice.

The Padres are the first team in MLB history to turn a triple play to end a game on the day they clinched a postseason berth. Only in baseball, Danny.

Rescue: Hi Surf cancelled yet?

Best bet for the weekend: Red Sox do not win eight in a row and get right back in it.

So, uh, how bout those bulls in ah, North Attleboro? Didja see that? That chain link fence was more porous, no, er, it was less effective in stopping, erk, them than the Patriots O-Line! Ha. Speaking of steers, try the teriyaki beef skewers. My son is a Marine.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. Pick Up The Pieces.

And a happy Birthday to actress Heather Locklear.

TO’s and Threes – NBA Column: The Rise of Hater Culture

By Vinny Jace, Special to the15net dot com:

America loves a good story, fraught with adversity and culminating with redemption. Rising above the obstacles to accomplish something greater and to etch yourself in history for eternity. Redemption used to be the most illuminating part of an illustrious career. Bill Russell in 1968, Magic Johnson in 1985, LeBron in 2012. Athletes soaring to new heights after falling to their lowest point. The old veteran regaining his past glory. The face of the franchise haunted by humiliation comes back to put his demons to bed. The villain cutting through the chorus of boos to achieve what’s eluded him. What follows these moments of triumph is a reckoning from the detractors. A begrudging respect is formed, then admiration that drowns the voices of the past. Any remaining dissenters calling Magic Johnson “Tragic” or LeBron James a choke artist are, like Hiroo Onoda, hiding in the woods fighting a battle that long ago was loss.

Today it is considered incidental whether the script gets flipped. What was written will remain. In an era where you have superstars in various small markets, the allure of bigger markets is dimmer, yet you’ll find more animus for them rather than admiration. What is worse? To be hated or viewed with apathy? The Denver Nuggets won the title, the most team centric championship since the 1977 Portland Trail Blazers. Nikola Jokic dismantled Kevin Durant and LeBron with startling ease, playing like a 6’10 Larry Bird, acting as the fulcrum for a watch making sure all the pieces inside mesh together in perfect harmony. We used to celebrate pureness in basketball, promote team-friendly organizations that did not have the superstar who needed every little thing catered to them. But instead, they were treated with apathy and the immediate demand they’d do it again. Denver fans could only seek validation in their small, niche communities while outsiders glorified the opponents they slain.



A year later the narrative shifted away from anointing the team they collectively yawned at when they won the first time and searched high and low for a team to crown anyone but the league’s best. Players went through the superstar car wash, long exposés, and podcast segments dedicated to Anthony Edwards as if it was possible for a team to win the title when their best player is 22. The building up of stars only to tear them down and by the time they do climb the mountain all you remember is the negative moments.

(The only champion not subjected to this cruelty is the Kansas City Chiefs. Who, unlike their New England Patriots dynastic counterparts never face media scrutiny or fan fatigue. Just last month Patrick Mahomes threw a behind the back pass in a preseason game that awed fans. The Chiefs are lionized, their opponents serving as mere fodder and built up solely to heighten their sacrifice for the glory of the one true franchise.)

In the Era of The Hater, they must pick one or two instances where they do not hate to maximize the effect of hating while online. To contrast and compare, to trigger fans by demanding their favorite reach expectations one cannot possibility reach. Mahomes and LeBron are the gold standard and anyone else is mincemeat. Even as the NBA moves away from the LeBron era into one defined by parity it is still a stretch for many to accept many players have passed near 40-year-old superstar. To say you prefer a 26-year-old Jayson Tatum who plays every game, fresh off 3 straight First-Team All-NBAs and just won the title is considered asinine.

Good for you, Andrew.



We are in an era where the past effectively never dies and to even entertain a fresh new face could take over for an old one many take as a personal affront. The idea there is a future beyond the present, that a main player from our lives is somewhat replaceable is something this generation never had to face. There are no more movie stars, but brands. Brands last forever.

When you’re LeBron you’re not just a famous athlete like Dr. J or Magic or Bird. You’re a brand. No different from Microsoft, or Disney.The modern stars in basketball today will never come close to attaining this status and for that they’ll suffer. Generations of fans grew up idolizing Michael Jordan and thanks to the internet never have to let go. LeBron fans can continuously relive the glory days, have plenty of material to keep them sedated whenever the end does come, and will use him as a cudgel against players for at least fifty years.

One of the crowning moments of LeBron’s career was winning his first championship. Coming off the heels of The Decision and the 2011 season, in a gentler time the notion of a small market superstar leaving to join a bigger market to play with his best friends revolted us. Then he went to the Olympics, played on the greatest U.S basketball team and led them to the Gold as their best player. The summer of 2012 was the Summer of LeBron! Glowing headline after glowing headline. Segments not highlighting his failures, only lauding his accomplishments with promises of more to come.

Fast forward twelve years later and it’s become apparent fans and media aren’t geared to treat someone as a champion when they won one. Tatum’s career is one long story defined by overachieving when you consider the circumstances he was in. Rookie season, playing on a team missing two max salary players heading into the playoffs, out-dueled Giannis Antetokounmpo and Joel Embiid. Then went toe-to-toe with LeBron in a seven-game set. Yet, all the buzz was around LeBron and for a brief moment it seemed Boston would win everyone collectively shrugged. It’s just not the NBA Finals if LeBron isn’t in it. Tatum was viewed as a casualty, not as an up and comer.

Then 2019 is a disaster, the deck is reshuffled and he’s recast from main player to bit role. 2020 in a year where the Celtics lost Kyrie Irving and Al Horford in free agency, Tatum cobbled together his first All-NBA season and brought a Celtics team with Gordon Hayward on one leg, Kemba Walker on no legs, and his centers are Daniel Theis and Enes Kanter to within two-games of crashing the finals.

Skip ahead two years later he goes on his best individual stretch from January to finish the 2022 campaign, out duels Kevin Durant, Giannis (again), gets revenge on Miami, but runs out of gas in the finals versus Golden State. The takeaway was “they’ll never make it back” and labeled as choke artist for not beating a dynasty when no one picked Boston over them.

After all the narratives, negative headlines and braindead tweets, the Celtics have finally obtained what can’t be taken away from them… and it feels like it’s being taken away from them? How? More importantly, why? Why aren’t can’t we celebrate a championship team with a fresh, young face anymore? We did it with Giannis in 2021 and have looked the other way as he hasn’t even reached round three since. Hater culture can forgive that, but not Tatum making five conference finals in seven seasons? Both won a title. You can say both relied on their co-star (which isn’t an insult), yet we memory hole how awesome Khris Middleton was in the 2021 playoffs, and found some way to both lionize Jaylen Brown’s 2024 while not giving him any credit either.

Tatum outplayed who is largely seen as the third best player in the world in Luka Doncic, then went to the Olympics and won his second gold medal and comes back to the States ridiculed? This can read like sour grapes, but I’m more befuddled than I am annoyed. “He’s only the SIXTH best player in the league!” is a real insult I’ve seen thrown around. What is used as insults and just accepted as valid criticisms is asinine to imagine as discourse ten-years ago.

It’s likely the Celtics won’t repeat as champions, as it’s difficult to have everything go right for you in a sport where if one thing goes wrong your season is effectively over. The 2024 Celtics are anomalous in that regard, as they loss Kristaps Porzingis on two occasions and still ended up winning the title. No team before them won a title without their third best player. Yet, that’s never mentioned as a feather in Tatum’s cap. The injuries other teams suffered only matter.

If by this time next year, the Celtics have secured Banner 19, it’ll be the most impressive repeat by a champion team ever. For now, the most dominant repeat championship team is arguably the 2001 Lakers. But that era of the NBA was weak. It’s just that team was too good to properly use the shallow talent pool as a way to nick them. But for teams to repeat when the talent pool was deep, the 1988 Lakers and 1992 Bulls sit on top. But the hypothetical 2025 Celtics wouldn’t be that far behind. And even if that happens, on top of Tatum making a fourth consecutive First Team All-NBA, wins the championship and the series MVP, the hating will continue because we are now married to our takes more than ever.

I bet the haters hate this.

Vinny Jace appears on the Entitled Weekend podcastHe does not live in North Haverbrook.

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