nature | The 15

Tag Archives: nature

Football Cat’s Week 12 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on November 21, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Please enjoy some pre-Thanksgiving haikus…

A Cat:
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
My claws aren’t that sharp.

Football:
Pigskin, gridiron
These equal true happiness
All thanks to Bert Bell

Robert Kraft:
Desperate for praise
Time for my prepaid close up
Get my booster seat

Kendra Middleton:
I crave attention
Look at me I am zany
Stop bothering me

Bob Socci:
This is not tv
Please give me down and distance
This is radio

Scott Zolak:
Must you grunt and groan
You are ruining the game
Try doing less coke

Sunday Lunch Time
Jets at Ravens (-13.5)
The Poes crawl out from under the floor boards

Steelers at Bears (-2.5)
Bears won’t be caged

Patriots (-8.5) at Bengals
Stripey cats can’t trap Pats

Giants at Lions (-10.5)
Jungle kings cut down Giants

Vikings at Packers (-6.5)
Packmen gobble up JJ

Colts at Chiefs (-3.5)
Native peoples corral Colts

Seahawks (-13.5) at Titans
Fake seabirds best the breasts

Sunday Dinner Time
Jaguars (-2.5) at Cardinals
Spotted cats swallow pretty red birds

Browns at Raiders (-3.5)
Black hole excretes the Browns

The photo Keebler didn’t want you to see

Eagles (-3.5) at Cowboys
Birds beat Boys

Falcons (1.5) at Saints
Saints flush Falcons in the Toilet Bowl

Sunday Prowl Time
Buccaneers at Rams (-6.5)
It’s no longer Baker Mayefield, it’s Baker Won’t-field

Monday Prowl Time
Panthers at 49ers (-7)
Purrrrdy boxes black cats

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 1 NFL Picks ’25

Posted on September 5, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

Football Cat is tired from watching the Patriotic Birds play the Pokes.

Your long wait is finally over, and so is your Summah, football season is upon us! And this season is no ordinary season… this season YOU (yes, YOU!) get the opportunity to go head to head with our very own Feline Football Forecaster, the one, the only Football Cat!

One of our interns (I haven’t taken time to learn their names yet) outlined the rules in an earlier post.

The Cliff Notes version: If you can pick more winners than Football Cat you will be eligible to win a fabulous The15 Inside Joke Prize Pack! Email your picks to bjbsjournalintern@gmail.com (prior to kickoff of tonight’s game) and our plucky squad of interns will make sure your entry is added to this week’s pool of contestants! It’s that easy. All you have to lose is your self respect.

Which leaves us with the question… Can YOU beat Football Cat?

Sexta à Noite Prowl Time
Chiefs (-3) vs Chargers
“I play the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil
‘Cause everybody plays the beautiful game while I’m in Brazil
‘Cause it’s all we’ve ever wanted, and it’s all that you want still
Don’t you wanna play the beautiful game out in Brazil?”

Plugs shock Chiefs in the Southern Hemisphere’s Winter Classic

Pelé knew which game was the *real o jogo bonito*

Sunday Lunch Time
Buccaneers (-2) at Falcons
An opening week NFC South six pointer! Why wasn’t this on Sunday Night Football? Bucs win and all but clinch the division

Bengals (-6) at Browns
Stripey cats leave the Browns strewn across their litter box

Actually Cleveland is a really nice place… for me to poop on!

Dolphins at Colts (-1.5)
Ponies pop Porps

Panthers at Jaguars (-3)
Cat fight! Spotted cats send black cats home with two black eyes

Raiders at Patriots (-2.5)
Botox Brady’s team comes up short in the shadow of Tom’s tiny headed statue

Cardinals (-6.5) at Saints
Cardinals win the Holy War

Say two Hail Marys and one Act of Cat-trition (*uproarious laughter*)

Steelers (-3) at Jets
Men of Steel dominate in Metropolis

Krypto, Krytpo, Krypto! Why no love for Streaky the Supercat?

Giants at Commanders (-6)
I’m calling the president. Mr. President, we need the National Guard. We need as many men as you can spare because the Commanders are killing the Giants. Wait… what? They’re already here? Never mind.

My old Platoon Sergeant said the Guard was for pussies

Sunday Dinner Time
Titans at Broncos (-7.5)
Tits sag in the thin air

49ers (-2.5) at Seahawks
Fake Sea Birds rub Purrrdy the wrong way

Lions at Packers (-2.5)
Jungle Kings devour Meat Men

Texans at Rams (-2.5)
Horny sheep give Houston problems

Sunday Prowl Time
Ravens at Bills (-1.5)
Scary Black birds spook Hairy Cows

Monday Prowl Time
Vikings at Bears (-1.5)
Norsemen skin grizzlies

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Championship Sunday Picks

Posted on January 24, 2025 by naop Leave a comment

News item: Some new executive orders have just been signed…

“Saturday” will be renamed to “Caturday”.
Catnip will be allowed to flow across the Southern border.
All online betting advisors will be required to publicly display their success rate or something else (*wink wink*).
Amnesty for the accused in the “Shedd Park Incident of July 4 1992”.
Laser pointers will be outlawed.
Designated nap times throughout the day, with comfortable sleeping spots readily available in all public spaces.
All deadbeat squatters will be evicted from the homes of their deceased mother’s former boyfriend. Their cats will be allowed to stay.
Dogs will be banned from most public areas, with designated “dog parks” far away from cat territory.
Anyone using “Y’all” will be banned from all social media platforms, even the Chinese ones.
Humans must be readily available for head scratches and belly rubs whenever a cat desires.
Only Union workers will be allowed on the roads between 4 am and 6 am.
The records from the Loyko investigation must be immediately released.

SUNDAY EARLY DINNER TIME
Commanders at Eagles (-6)
American Birds haven’t been this surprised by a Commie offensive in January since 1968

On that day our platoon sergeant sacrificed himself so we could all make it home alive. RIP Sgt.Thornton.

SUNDAY EARLY PROWL TIME
Bills at Chiefs (-1)
As has played out on the great plains for hundreds of years, the Native Americans, once again, take down the Tonawanda Tatanka

The buffalo seemed more stunned by the audacity of the tactic than they are surprised the wolves are actually dudes

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 6 NFL Picks ’24

Posted on October 18, 2024 by naop Leave a comment

Congratulations on all that sweet cash you made following last week’s picks (10-3 against the spread, and 11-2 straight up – not that we’re keeping track). As a way of saying “thank you”, head on over to the official The 15 Store and load up on some genuine merch during the big October sale.

I can’t believe this awesome shirt is on sale for only $16!

SUNDAY TEA TIME
Patriots at Jaguars (-5.5)
Spotty cats lose to New England in Olde England.

SUNDAY LUNCH TIME
Bengals (-4.5) at Browns
Stripey cats use the Dog Pound as their litter box.

Lions at Vikings (-1.5)
Jungle Kings knee cap the Vi-Kings

Texans at Packers (-3.5)
Texans grind up the Meat Men

Someone get Upton Sinclair on the phone.

Eagles (-3.5) at Giants
Baby New York wins the game, but loses the Belichick Bowl.

Dolphins at Colts (-3.5)
Drips dizzy Dolphins dropped

Seahawks at Falcons (-2.5)
Real birds defeat fake sea birds.

Titans at Bills (-8.5)
You’ll see tits on a bull before you see the Tits beat the Bills.

SUNDAY DINNER TIME
Panthers at Commanders (-7.5)
The Swamp Things may not be as good as they’ve looked, but the Black Cats are worse than they’ve looked.

Raiders at Rams (-5.5)
Cleveland-LA-St. Louis-LA Rams win the Transient Bowl over the Oakland-LA-Oakland-Las Vegas Raiders

Chiefs at 49ers (-1)
49ers win the Super Bowl rematch, but don’t actually avenge the loss, then spiral into a deep depression.

I’m sorry, did you say something? I wasn’t listening.

SUNDAY PROWL TIME
Jets at Steelers (-1.5)
Men of Steel master Metropolis

It’s a bird…it’s a plane… no wait, it’s eaten the bird… all the birds.

MONDAY EARLY PROWL TIME
Ravens (-3.5) at Buccaneers
Scary Black Birds get Buccan-owned

MONDAY ACTUAL PROWL TIME
Chargers (-2.5) at Cardinals
The bad night for birds continues as the pretty Red Birds get zapped.

General Disclaimer
By using this website, you acknowledge that you have read and understand the foregoing disclaimers and release Football Cat LLC and its affiliates, members, officers, employees and agents from any and all liability whatsoever relating to your use of this site, any such links, or any information contained herein or in any such appearances or articles (whether accessed through such links or downloaded directly from this website). Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of this game without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited.