Have no fear! Even though the local gridironers are enjoying a weekend away, getting tanned and rested, there’s no bye week for Football Cat!
Don’t we have interns to cover for me for one week?
And remember, it’s not just the bye week, it’s also the BUYweek at the official the 15 net store! If you don’t shop during the big holiday sale, you’re just wasting money. It’s basic math people.
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Jaguars at Titans (-4) Tits motorboat Spotty Cats
My good friend Mac in happier times
Jets at Dolphins (-6) Tua melts Jets
I prefer a little dolphin in my tuna
Falcons at Vikings (-5.5) Vikings rape Raptors
Saints (-4.5) at Giants David takes down Goliath
You don’t want to get on Davey’s bad side
Panthers at Eagles (-12) Scary Black Cats spook American Birds
Browns at Steelers (-6.5) Yinzers flush Browns
If it’s brown flush it down!
Raiders at Buccaneers (-6.5) Bucs win the biggest pirate fight since the Battle of Cape Lopez
What do you call a pirate with a cat on his shoulder? A purr-ate.
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Seahawks at Cardinals (-2.5) Pretty Red Birds pluck Fake Sea Birds
Bills (-5) at Rams Horny Sheep win the Bovidae Battle
Me so horny!
Bears at 49ers (-4.5) Prospectors wake the sleepy Bears, get mauled.
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Chargers at Chiefs (-3.5) Native Americans short circuit Plugs
Trail of Tears? Sounds like my prom night!
MONDAY PROWL TIME Bengals (-5) at Cowboys Stripey Cats do Dallas
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Don’t worry, a deranged pilot is not going to fly a blimp into an NFL stadium near you. It means it’s your chance to save SAVE SAVE!
Just visit the the official “The 15” store, and with a few clicks (and a valid credit card) you can take care of all your holiday shopping and enjoy all the football.
Them ore you spend the more you SAVE! (It’s simple mathematics)
Shop early and often, and remember to tell them that Football Cat sent you.
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Chargers (-1) at Falcons Plugs zap Raptors
Steelers at Bengals (-3) Men of Steel cage Stripey Cats
Roar!
Texans (-4) at Jaguars Spotty Cats claw their way to victory
Cardinals at Vikings (-3.5) Pretty Red Birds should never have flown north.
Frozen Red Bird patties are good eating
Colts (-2.5) at Patriots To all the little Drake-a-Maye-niacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins, and enjoy the win heading into the bye week.
You may not like it… but accept it!
Seahawks (-2) at Jets Fake Sea Birds ground Jets
Titans at Commanders (-5.5) Commies blast all over Tits
Hey, my eyes are up here.. WTF!
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Buccaneers (-5.5) at Panthers Black Beards sink Black Cats
The impending cannibalism makes it funny
Rams (-2.5) at Saints The Lord’s shepherds sheer the hairy sheep
Eagles at Ravens (-3) Scary Black Birds rule the roost
Honk if you remember Marlin Perkins
SUNDAY PROWL TIME 49ers at Bills (-7) Prospectors get snowed under in Buffalo
MONDAY PROWL TIME Browns at Broncos (-5.5) Elves can’t handle the elevation
It really messes with his GI tract.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
In honor of the big (BIG!) PRE INFRA-BLACK FRIDAY sale at the official the 15 store, Football Cat is generously giving out free money – in the form of bonus Thanksgiving picks. What better way to thank your host or hostess than with a high quality “It’s Called #Owning” coffee mug or the ever popular Jonathon t-shirt?
Shop early and often, and remember to tell them that Football Cat sent you.
EARLY EATERS TIME Bears at Lions (-10.5) Jungle Kings feast on roasted ursine knee caps
All shirts are available in men’s sizes from Medium all the way up to 3XL.
LATE EATERS TIME Giants at Cowboys (-3) Pokes pop Pituitaries
A Hall of Fame owner with Hall of Fame fashion sense
SECOND DINNER TIME Dolphins at Packers (-3.5) Meat men pack Dolphins into a Tua casserole
Coach Drip gets it
BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL Raiders at Chiefs (-12.5) The Black Hole boys get black eyes on Black Friday
He tells his barber “Give me the Jonathan”
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
For first-time hosts, or even experienced cooks, the Thanksgiving turkey can be a nerve-wracking dish to prepare once a year. Football Cat has some tips to reduce any anxiety over cooking your turkey this year.
Thawing Turkey Safely There are two safe ways to thaw a turkey: in the refrigerator or in cold water. Thawing a frozen turkey on the kitchen counter, in hot water, or in the garage is not safe. Even though the center of the package may still be frozen, the outer layer of the food is in the Danger Zone between 40 and 140 degrees F — a temperature range where food-borne bacteria multiply rapidly. No matter which method you use, thawing a turkey takes time.
Cooking Turkey Safely Regardless of how your turkey is cooked, insert a food thermometer into the thickest part of the breast, the innermost part of the wing and the innermost part of the thigh to check that its internal temperature at all three spots is at 165 degrees F.
Need more information about Thanksgiving food safety? Call Football Cat’s Meat and Poultry Hotline at 888-MPHotline (888-674-6854). Football Cat’s Meat and Poultry Hotline will be open on Thanksgiving Day from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. EST.
Operators are standing by
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Chiefs (-11) at Panthers Scary black cats catch the Chiefs licking their wounds
It’s not what you think!
Vikings (-3.5) at Bears Da’ Bears are da’ done
Titans at Texans (-7.5) Oilers learn you can’t go home again
Flipping the Nixon to the fine folks in Houston
Lions (-8) at Colts Colts get caught looking ahead to their Week 13 bye week
Patriots at Dolphins (-7) Tua smears Mayo
It has the Patriots’ beat writers seal of approval!
Buccaneers (-5) at Giants Tommy Cutlets is back, ba da bing! Giants still lose.
The Giants aren’t winning this game! I don’t care how many dago guinea wop greaseball goombahs come out of the woodwork!
Cowboys at Commanders (-10) Commies kick the ever living shit out of the Cowboys.
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Broncos at Raiders (-5) Bo Nix is YOUR Rookie of Year!
I hope his grandchildren can make it to the ceremony.
49ers at Packers (-2) Packers pulverize Prospectors
Cardinals (-1) at Seahawks Pretty Red Birds roast the Fake Sea Birds
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Eagles (-3) at Rams American Birds soar high in the City of Angels
A belated Happy 40th Anniversary to Sam the Olympic Eagle
MONDAY PROWL TIME Ravens (-3) at Chargers Scary Black Birds get shocked
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
It’s a big weekend for fans of celestial events! Not only will the full Beaver super moon be aligning with the Pliades star cluster each night, but the Leonid meteor shower will be peaking in the wee hours of Saturday and Sunday. So grab the lawn chair and a blanket and get out there. If you’re looking for me I’ll be sleeping in your bed, so please leave the electric blanket on.
In space no one can hear you “meow”
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Packers (-5) at Bears Meat men send Bears to early hibernation
Jaguars at Lions (-13.5) Lions maul my good friend Mac
My good friend Mac before the Lions horribly disfigured him
Raiders at Dolphins (-7) The Autumn Wind is a Raider, pillaging just for fun. He’ll knock you ’round and upside down, and laugh when he’s conquered and won.
Just win baby
Rams (-5) at Patriots Mayo’s merry men keep the good time vibes rolling along.
Fake news!
Browns at Saints (-1) Dark Elf magic house of Saints
Ravens (-3) at Steelers Men of Steel cage Scary Black Birds
“Hello in the box!”
Vikings at Titans (-6) Vikings flatten Tits
Colts at Jets (-4) The new Undersecretary for Human Services leads the Jets to victory
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Falcons at Broncos (-2.5) Falcons thrive in the thin air
Seahawks at 49ers (-6.5) Purrdy downs Fake Sea Birds
Chiefs at Bills (-2) For thousands of years, Native Americans relied heavily on buffalo for their survival and well-being, using every part of the bison for food, clothing, shelter, tools, jewelry and in ceremonies. Except the wings oddly enough. Chiefs remain undefeated.
These are even better than chicken fingers
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Bengals at Chargers (-1.5) Stripey Cats drain Bolts batteries
I bet my Nana still has some of these in her junk drawer
MONDAY PROWL TIME Texans (-7.5) at Cowboys Fun Fact: The flags of six countries have flown over Texas. Don’t mess with the Texans.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat
Welcome to November! As a gift just for you, Football Cat is giving you an extra hour of sleep on Sunday. Just remember Football Cat’s internal clock is still on Daylight Saving time. Please be considerate to your cats.
Why haven’t I been fed yet?
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Cowboys at Falcons (-2.5) Birds beat Boys
Broncos at Ravens (-9.5) No post-Halloween hangover for the Scary Black Birds.
Halloween is over people
Dolphins at Bills (-6) Hairy Cows trample Tua
Saints (-7) at Panthers Black Cats get skinned on All Saints Day weekend
Raiders at Bengals (-7) Stripey Cats save their season
roar
Chargers (-2) at Browns Elven magic short circuits the Bolts
This would be a much better mascot than Brownie
Commanders (-3.5) at Giants Red wave drowns the G-men
Patriots at Titans (-3.5) Ass over Tits
As far as the state of New York is concerned, you are the “ASSMAN”
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Bears at Cardinals (-1) Not even two Hail Marys and three Our Fathers will beat the Bears this week.
Better get Pete McNulty on the phone.
Jaguars at Eagles (-7.5) American Birds poop on Spotty Cats
It’s s fun hat
Lions (-3.5) at Packers Jungle Kings devour Meat Men
The lower extremities are never on sale
Rams (-1.5) at Seahawks Rams steamroll Seattle
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Colts at Vikings (-5.5) Vikings rape and pillage poor Jumpball Joe.
Poor Joe
MONDAY PROWL TIME Buccaneers at Chiefs (-8.5) The march towards perfection continues.
TUESDAY ELECTION TIME Remember,when in doubt vote Football Cat. Vote early and vote often!
Welcome to the “Era of Good Felines”
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Please join us in wishing a very Happy 14th Birthday to Football Cat!
In lieu of gifts please show your support by purchasing some wonderful genuine merchandise. Football Cat’s birthday comes but once a year, so splash out some of that cash you’ve been accumulating from following the picks.
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Ravens (-9) at Browns Unless the Browns are starting Tippi Hedren at quarterback, expect the Scary Black Birds to run rampant.
They should remake this movie with cats.
Titans at Lions (-11.5) Jungle Kings bounce Tits
Colts at Texans (-6) Texans corral the Colts
Get along little kitties!
Packers (-4.5) at Jaguars Pack Men make mincemeat out of the jet-lagged Spotty Cats
Not again!
Cardinals at Dolphins (-3) Drips dizzy Dolphins drop Deacons
Jets (-7) at Patriots Mayo is not handing in his D.O.R just yet. Jets crash and burn. Love lifts us up where we belong.
He’s got nowhere else to go!
Falcons (-2.5) at Buccaneers Mmmmm, creamsicles.
With just 100 calories per bar, it’s the classic ice cream on a stick dessert that you can enjoy without guilt.
Eagles at Bengals (-2.5) Stripey Cats feast on American Birds
The Migratory Bird Treaty Act was not violated in the making of this image.
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Saints at Chargers (-7.5) Saint Eligius’ gang defeats the Saints
Yes, even electricians have a patron Saint.
Bills (-3) at Seahawks Fake Sea Birds upset Hairy Cows
Bears (-2.5) at Commanders Marxist Mariota leads the Commies to victory
“Quarterbacks control the means of offensive production.”
Panthers at Broncos (-9) Black Cats have trouble adapting to the thin air
At altitude, cats prefer hockey.
Chiefs (-10) at Raiders Mahomes’ team finally defeats Brady’s team
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Cowboys at 49ers (-4.5) Federales rob gold diggers
Badges? Badges! We don’t need to show you any stinking badges!
MONDAY PROWL TIME Giants at Steelers (-6.5) Giants can’t defeat Men of Steel
Good luck getting a kid into “Walter’s International Wax Museum” for 40 cents nowadays.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Congratulations on all that sweet cash you made following last week’s picks (10-3 against the spread, and 11-2 straight up – not that we’re keeping track). As a way of saying “thank you”, head on over to the official The 15 Store and load up on some genuine merch during the big October sale.
I can’t believe this awesome shirt is on sale for only $16!
SUNDAY TEA TIME Patriots at Jaguars (-5.5) Spotty cats lose to New England in Olde England.
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Bengals (-4.5) at Browns Stripey cats use the Dog Pound as their litter box.
It’s actually an improvement.
Lions at Vikings (-1.5) Jungle Kings knee cap the Vi-Kings
Texans at Packers (-3.5) Texans grind up the Meat Men
Someone get Upton Sinclair on the phone.
Eagles (-3.5) at Giants Baby New York wins the game, but loses the Belichick Bowl.
And they have pretzels
Dolphins at Colts (-3.5) Drips dizzy Dolphins dropped
Seahawks at Falcons (-2.5) Real birds defeat fake sea birds.
Titans at Bills (-8.5) You’ll see tits on a bull before you see the Tits beat the Bills.
Superfluous
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Panthers at Commanders (-7.5) The Swamp Things may not be as good as they’ve looked, but the Black Cats are worse than they’ve looked.
Raiders at Rams (-5.5) Cleveland-LA-St. Louis-LA Rams win the Transient Bowl over the Oakland-LA-Oakland-Las Vegas Raiders
I once faced down the devil.
Chiefs at 49ers (-1) 49ers win the Super Bowl rematch, but don’t actually avenge the loss, then spiral into a deep depression.
I’m sorry, did you say something? I wasn’t listening.
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Jets at Steelers (-1.5) Men of Steel master Metropolis
It’s a bird…it’s a plane… no wait, it’s eaten the bird… all the birds.
MONDAY EARLY PROWL TIME Ravens (-3.5) at Buccaneers Scary Black Birds get Buccan-owned
MONDAY ACTUAL PROWL TIME Chargers (-2.5) at Cardinals The bad night for birds continues as the pretty Red Birds get zapped.
Shocking!
General Disclaimer By using this website, you acknowledge that you have read and understand the foregoing disclaimers and release Football Cat LLC and its affiliates, members, officers, employees and agents from any and all liability whatsoever relating to your use of this site, any such links, or any information contained herein or in any such appearances or articles (whether accessed through such links or downloaded directly from this website). Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of this game without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited.
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
Happy Columbus Day/Canadian Thanksgiving/Indigenous Peoples’ Day weekend to all who celebrate. If you’re NOT looking for something to do this weekend, make sure to check out the Fall Event Avoidance Generator. Otherwise make sure to dress warmly whilst you enjoy the foliage train.
Of course I’m having fun. Why do you ask?
SUNDAY TEA TIME Jaguars at Bears (-2) The Shaguars love playing in London.
Yeah Baby!
SUNDAY LUNCH TIME Cardinals at Packers (-5) Meat men make mince-meat of pretty Red Birds.
Texans (-7) at Patriots Rod Rust will be one game closer to popping that heavenly champagne. 1-16 here we come!
They really needed the “Friday Funny” back in 1990
Buccaneers (-3.5) at Saints Hopefully this win will help the residents of Florida’s Gulf Coast heal.
Commanders at Ravens (-6.5) Black Birds fend off the Swamp Things.
Murderous Crows!
Browns at Eagles (-9) Predators over Sexual Predators.
Colts at Titans (-2.5) Will Levis is tanned and rested, and ready to lead the Titans to another loss.
Put me in, coach
SUNDAY DINNER TIME Chargers (-3) at Broncos Broncos bust Bolts.
Steelers (-3) at Raiders Rooneys rout Raiders.
Falcons (-6) at Panthers
It’s a shameful day in the community when the Black Cats lose to a bunch of birds.
Shame!
Lions (-3) at Cowboys Kings of the Beasts bests the ‘Boys
SUNDAY PROWL TIME Bengals (-3.5) at Giants Stripey Cats save their season by cutting the Giants down to size.
I can see East Rutherford from up here!
MONDAY PROWL TIME Bills (-2.5) at Jets The new coach bounce gets the Jets into a tie for first place in the pathetic AFC East
*Football Cat cannot be held responsible for any loss that maybe be incurred as a result of following the betting tips provided on this site. If you or someone you know has a sports betting or gambling problem, please call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit The National Council on Problem Gambling for more information and further assistance. In Massachusetts call 1-800-327-5050 (MA).
Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.
The 15 