Tag Archives: cats

Football Cat’s Super Wild Card Weekend NFL Picks

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Wild Cards or wild cats?

Football Cat has graciously agreed to work the playoffs after very successful regular season. And so:

SATURDAY SUNSET

Browns (-2.5) at Texans

Tricksters versus wildcatters. ‘Stroud’ sounds like a cat warning growl, ‘Flacco’ sounds like one coughing up a hairball. Texans win.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Dolphins at Chiefs (-4.5)

Stupidly cold weather favors neither team. So playoff experience wins out. Kansas City gets the W.

If there are any other cheapskates interested in watching the Chiefs-Dolphins game you can get Peacock for free if you sign up for a free 2 week trial of Instacart+ (whatver that is). You don’t need to give them any real info, I just signed up with my burner email address and a fake name; I used’Morris Katz.’

SUNDAY SUNSET

Packers at Cowboys (-7.5)

Cows undefeated at home. Will that matter? Of course it will! Big D big W.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Rams at Lions (-3)

Sorry Shovey Sheep, but this is the only cat team in the playoffs. I’m going to be parochial.

MONDAY SUNSET

Steelers at Bills (-10)

Bisons don’t deserve to win after getting the game moved because of snow. But deserve got nothing to do with it.

Snow Cat. See what I did there?

MONDAY PROWLTIME

Eagles (-3) at Buccaneers

Buccaneers have momentum, Philly does not. The Pewter Privateers win at home.

Egads.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 18 NFL Picks

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Get. Yer. Ress.

Lots of teams resting starters in advance of the playoffs this week. I can understand that.

SATURDAY SUNSET

Steelers (-4) at Ravens

Will the Evil Birds take the gaspipe in the hopes the spirits conspire to keep Buffalo out of the ‘yoffs? Yes.

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Texans (-1) at Colts

Wildcat Texans round up the Little Horsies.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Buccaneers (-4.5) at Panthers

Bad year for the luckless Black Cats ends as it began.

Browns at Bengals (-7)

Stripey Cats are desperate, Browns have put the bag of tricks away until the playoffs. Cincy wins.

Vikings at Lions (-3.5)

Jungle Kings don’t want to go 3-3 in the division and won’t.

Jets at Patriots (-2)

Prediction: Pats Pirouette Past Planes

Falcons at Saints (-3)

The animals of God’s creation inhabit the skies, the earth, and the sea. They share in the ways of human beings. They have a part in our lives. Francis of Assisi recognized this when he called the animals, wild and tame, his brothers and sisters. Nevertheless, Saints win.

Jaguars (-5) at Titans

Spotted Cats disrespect the Titans.

Seahawks (-2.5) at Cardinals

Cardinals are real birds. Seahawks are not. Nevertheless, the False Birds win.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Bears at Packers (-3)

Da. Bears. Da Win.

Chiefs at Chargers (-3.5)

Chiefs win because of course they do.

Broncos at Raiders (-3)

This is the game that ends in a tie.

Eagles (-5) at Giants

Any NFC East team can beat any other NFC East team. Giants prove this in bad weather against the Phils.

Rams at 49ers (-4)

No Brock Purrdy, no matter? Not if the Shovey Sheep have anything to say about it. Rams win.

Cowboys (-4) at Commanders

Cowpokes want the #2 Seed. Won’t need much fancy ropin’ to get it.

SUNDAY PROWLTIME

Bills (-3) at Dolphins

Prediction: Payables Pork Porps.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

Football Cat’s Week 16 NFL Picks

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This is Badger. Badger has the Christmas spirit.

Big Thurrsday win for the Los Angeles Shovey Sheep. Now for the rest of the games:

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Bengals (-2) at Steelers

Steel City unfriendly to Stripey Cats. Pittsburgh wins

SATURDAY PROWLTIME

Bills (-11.5) at Chargers 

Chargers powerless to stop the Buffalo stampede.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME

Colts at Falcons (-1)

Both teams need a win to stay in or return to the playoff hunt. Preybirds get that win.

Packers (-5) at Panthers

Green Bay get-right game.

Browns (-2.5) at Texans

Trickster Brownies pull another whimsical win out of their helmets.

Lions (-3) at Vikings

Hardy Minnesotans and their outdoor stadium get the edge here. Sorry Jungle King cats.

Commanders at Jets (-3)

The Planes are meh at home, the Prez are iffy on the road. Planes win.

Seahawks (-2.5) at Titans

Seahawks are made up, Titans are mythical. False Birds win.

SUNDAY SUNSET

Jaguars at Buccaneers (-1)

Spotted Cats get their first win this December as an early Christmas present.

Cardinals at Bears (-4)

Non-hibernating Bears win.

Cowboys at Dolphins (-1.5)

Pokes prove Porps can’t beat a good team.

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Patriots and Broncos (-6.5)

Leave all the yappy malcontents like Trent Brown at the Denver Airport. Broncos win.

CHRISTMAS DAY

Raiders at Chiefs (-10)

Las Vegas gets that the smart money is on the Chiefs. KC wins.

CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON

Giants at Eagles (-12)

Someone’s losing streak has to end. It will be the Birds.

CHRISTMAS EVENING

Ravens at 49ers (-5)

Prediction: Prospectors pound Poes.

Football Cat wishes all of you a safe and happy Christmastime free from ignorance, want, & the cone of shame. Well, most of you.

Football Cat lives in New Hampshire, enjoys watching football, and is a cat.

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