The 15

The MIAA is a terrorist organization, but I would have to imagine there aren’t many less sympathetic demographics than ‘freshly graduated Ipswich lax bros’.

Broads can’t visit Texas without appropriating the fashion. It’s fascinating.

I wish I cared about anything as much as Darren Rovell cares about the cost of NBA Finals tickets.

It might not be the Red Sox’s year.

Seems undignified to be a preeminent historian and then die in a Shaw’s Supermarket parking lot in East Providence.

Imagine being the guy that has to write the super serious PWHL tampering article.

Just admit it greenteamers, you’re jealous of how good the Knicks are in close games and Brunson’s ability to deliver in the clutch. I am.

If I’m Wembanyama, I’m making one call, with one question. The call is to Kareem Abdul Jabbar. The question is “can you teach me the sky hook?” It would be impossible to block.

There’s no way Cecil Fielder’s home run that he hit out of Tiger Stadium was less than 500 feet.

Feels warm out but that’s just what they want me to think.

Cakes are cooking for Jurgen Prochnow, Ken Singleton, Terry Luttrell, Dan Fouts, Rich Hall, Andrew Stevens, Timothy Van Patten, Kelley Deal, Kim Deal, Maxi Priest, Brent Sutter, Gina Gershon, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Gary Wallis, Jimmy Chamberlin, Elizabeth Hurley, Doug McKeon, Bill Burr, Jimmy Shea, Kate Snow, Jo-Jo Hailey, Pokey Reese, Freddy García, Nergal, Tara Lipinski, Anna Nordqvist, Kelly Vitz, and Jeff Teague.

I had a wild adventure in my dream last night. I was a part of a group of strangers trying to survive both an alien attack and a deep government conspiracy. Many of the people I was with died right in front of me. They weren’t real but I grieve for them just the same.

Hard to believe someone who’s Twitter handle is ‘DoubleVodkaDon’ needed a trip to rehab.

People clearly miss the experience of phone booths, even those who have no firsthand experience using them. What else explains having lengthy phone conversations while in a rest room stall?

Anunoby looks like a young Viola Davis.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “The broadcasters don’t get the box?”

Foxboro Line Train 1747 (2:28 PM from South Station) is operating 5-10 minutes behind schedule between Islington and Foxboro.

Happy Junetenth, to all who celebrate.

I’m not sure who is going to win the Stanley Cup now!

President Nixon’s apology would’ve hit a lot harder if only he had rocked the backwards snapback.

Non-serrated steak knives. Makes no sense.

Next thing ya know, that guy in the Shaw’s pahking lawt is gonna run ovah Vickahs!

You have to pay $13 after tax for a Big Mac Meal to get one but the McDonalds World Cup collectors cups are sturdy and the art is nice.

From the “inside media” department: Including the Patriots’ robust social-media team, there were more than 70 credentials issued to cover Tuesday’s first day of mandatory minicamp.

Spitting in a wishing well
Blown to hell
Crash
On the last splash-

I know you, little libertine
I know you’re a real koo koo

(Hey now)

Want you
Koo koo
Cannonball
Want you
Koo koo
Cannonball.

I don’t get those watch parties. Oh you want all the inconveniences of attending the game without actually attending? Come on down!

Barstool employees take more time away than women in sports.

The reason they call Madison Square Garden the worlds most famous arena because that’s where Laurence Harvey shot Angela Lansbury.

Any foreign tourists here for the World Cup on the socials talking up Market Basket?

Honk if you remember New Coke.

Hearing whispers Giannis Antetokounmpo’s preferred landing spot is Miami, but he remains open to joining Boston.

I met Eric Fisher at the Franklin Park Zoo.

The ‘J’ is silent in ‘Jacas?’ Where’s the fun in that?

It’s also probably not a good sign when you have to prefix your women’s league with “professional” so that everyone knows it’s real.

How can you win the Triple Crown if you don’t run the second race? Sad.

RA has to live for another eight years before what’s being done to him can be elder abuse? Bad odds on that, kid.

Can somebody please get @RochieWBC his account back?

Best bet for the weekend: USMNT, winning, or perhaps eking out a draw.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Joe Giza, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. In the shade, in the shade.