The 15

**CONFIDENTIAL**

From: 98.5 The SportsHub Human Resources

To: All Employees

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

It’s time for our biannual reminder when a member of the SportsHub on-air staff allows their unconventional/non-traditional core beliefs to be spread over FCC-governed airwaves which is then picked up by national and international media (not including members of the Boston Media under the “BSIC Back Slapping Incestuous Cesspool Accord of 2007”). This protocol will NOT be enacted when media outside New England fails to pick up an potential issue similar to midday host Marc “Beetle” Bertrand recently suggesting Bill Belichick is an anti-Semite, but with multiple outlets outside our governance involved, in this instance we are forced to deploy “Massarotti Protocol”.

Steps:

1: Modify (The Lazar Method): Edit and/or delete audio from website archives.

2: Gaslight and Obfuscate (The GOrdway Method): Have the offending on-air personality read from the following template:

The Tony Massarotti Apology Template

(NOTE: Please attempt to show empathy and remorse vocally) *citation needed

I did want to address this, because during yesterday’s show, while we were discussing (sports/players/teams/games), I made an off-color reference to (insert differing race/color/creed/sexual preference from 985 hosts) and how I didn’t (believe in them/have confidence in them/thought they SUCKED). And in doing so, I used a derogatory term that was (unbeknownst/repugnant/acceptable) to me.

I have since come to the realization that historically, there is some derogatory context for that (term/phrasing/manifesto), which I assure you I did not (know my mic was on/think about/understand). Nonetheless, in so doing, if you are among those who I offended, I apologize for that. It was not my intent. (Be sure not to apologize for the act itself.) I can sure assure you that I had no idea that the word had that meaning. As such, I won’t use it again. You’ll never hear me use it again on the air or off (that you’ll ever hear about). There was no intent behind it is all I can tell you. And I apologize again to those who are offended.

There is no way, I will resign. It wouldn’t be fair. Not to the good workers I work with, not to my listeners, and especially not to me. Let’s not forget who this whole resigning business is about, anyway. If I could leave you with one thought, remember… it wasn’t me. They’re trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to God, that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word.

You have one day.

**TO BE RE-RELEASED IN SIX MONTHS**