05/24/2023 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

This guy knows. Just keep your chances alive by fouling off pitch after pitch into the stands past the visitor’s dugout.

See? Just win one game 4 times. All fix.

Coach Cassidy has his Las Vegas Golden Knights playing with the intensity of, well, the regular season Bruins.

A prior tweet said Chad Ryland replaced Cajuste. The sort in my column was incorrect.

The billboard? Great idea. No possible downside.

Fun Fact: Adrian Wojnarowski and Ime Udoka have the same agent.

Let’s see about plating some runs in the near future, Red Sox.

So there. For the 92nd time since 1918, there will be no Triple Crown winner.

Be more obvious Jaylen is one of your locker room sources, Gary Washburn.

Cakes are cooking for Bobby Zimmerman, Joe Dumars, Pat Verbeek, Ricky Craven, Troy Barnett, Will Sasso, Katie King-Crowley, Brad Penny, G-Eazy, and Joey Logano.

Brooks Koepka may have won the PGA Championship, but Michael Block won the crowd.

A squirrel! At a baseball game! Unbelievable!!

Viv Trimble died? I didn’t even know she was sick. Rest in peace.

Worcester Line Train 512 (10:00 am from Worcester) is operating 5-15 minutes late between Wellesley Farms and South Station.

I hope Glen Kuiper has learned his lesson. Never attempt to express enthusiasm about anything.


When you idly wonder whether you can use “crapulence” in a story, go to Google, and discover Alex Speier has dropped it twice in the last three years.

Have the Miami Heat quit on their coach? That’s the effort late in a close out game at home? Smdh.

Not that anybody cares, but one of the most underrated players of all time was teammate Willie Randolph. Willie has a hell of a lot better Hall of Fame case than Munson does.

After roughly three months of not being able to throw, Brock Purdy can begin throwing next week…

Imagine white knighting for liver thief Bill Speros.

Greg Bedard will face unemployment before any NFL special teams coaches do. Loser.

Hey gang, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “I always knew that big-sideburned renegade was a bad influence!”

The 3 greatest voice actors for modern era animated shows are Cree Summer, E.G. Daily & Tara Strong… 3 of the most crushed on actresses of the modern era are Cree Summer, E.G. Daily & Tara Strong…

All that ridiculous free throw disparity and the NBA still couldn’t drag Los Angeles into the Finals.

LIV Golf drawing WEEI like ratings? Sad.

It’s amazing that Dan Lifshatz is able to have all this action when he’s been shut off by every book. Unless…

Red Route One you arrogant ass! You killed us!

Honk if you remember the 1951 NY Knicks forcing a game 7 against the Rochester Royals.

So what other movies was Dart Adams not in? Let us know in the comments.

Johnny’s in the basement mixin’ up the medicine
I’m on the pavement, thinkin’ about the government
The man in the trench coat, badge out, laid off
Says he’s got a bad cough, wants to get it paid off.

Nice work responding to the St. John’s Prep false alarm, Officer Bumbles.

NFL pretending it cares about player safety.

FYI if you own a G-Wagon and parked it outside Mike’s Pastry in the North End, it just got towed away for street cleaning.

A. Matt McCarthy

Think you can outsmart the Low Stakes Unit more. You can’t!

Does ‘Bronny’ (Sideshow Bob groan) even want to play on the same team as his dad?

Maybe Jaylen can take another whack at Springfield by debuting a fresh pair of ‘Was Dr. Suess Racist?’ sneakers for game 5.

Great gesture by Jeff Howe to raise money to help people who actually do have cancer.

Looking forward to posting to the Sons of Tristan Casas message board in 2043.

Best bet for the weekend: the NE Revolution righting the ship in their match against the visiting Chicago Fire.

Mark Grant and Don Orsillo! So wacky! Red Sox fans still miss him so much!

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sources, Bill James, and the members of #the15 were used in this column. With my naked eye I saw all the falling rain coming down on me. With my naked eye I saw all if I said it all I could see.

And happy birthday to gold medal-winning Australian swimmer Emma McKeon.

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