04/05/2023 Cleaning Out the Sports Junk Drawer

Congratulations to the University of Connecticut Mens Basketball team for winning the NCAA Championship. Again.

So that one basketball lady did the ‘you can’t see me’ gesture, the other one pretended she didn’t see her; I don’t know what the problem was.

Alex Verdugo is the first Red Sox player to lead off the first inning of the team’s first game with a triple since Rabbit Warstler in 1931.

The reaction to Florio’s Patriots “news” makes me think normal sports fans are merely wildly outnumbered in this region, as opposed to being hopelessly outnumbered.

Four years of J-school and five years on the beat to tweet out “DM your toppings.”

The former The Fours to become Scores?

Khari becomes the third March Sadness contestant in as many weeks to be made redundant.

Cakes are cooking for Diamond Dallas Page, Cris Carpenter, Paula Cole, Rochelle Walensky, Krista Allen, Tim Coronel, Tom Coronel, Tony Banks, Ross Gload, and Lily James.

Asante Samuel must love getting reminders of the worst moment of his career every few months I guess.

I use to have a real hard time sleeping myself melatonin was a life changer.

Please board Fitchburg Line Train 415 (12:30 pm from North Station) on the inbound platform (Track 2) at Waltham and Brandeis/Roberts today.

Nothing more satisfying than gripping shaft??? Yeah that’s totally an alpha male sort of line.

Don’t you think that when you have a mock draft, you should be required to make fun of everybody as you draft them?

Jim Nantz didn’t die, you weirdos.

The most recent school shooter being trans instead of a MAGA type is like Gerry Callahan’s Christmas morning.

Speaking of Christmas, props to Shalise Manza Young for her grudging edit of her Yahoo Sports piece exculpating Kirk from Gerry’s coded racism.

Some news from Klutch Sports: Agent Nicole Lynn has been promoted to President of the agency’s Football Division.

Fun fact. They returned those towels to Macy’s after the photo shoot.

Do not Google image search ‘gorilla ahole’.

The home run light show is quite frankly beneath the dignity of our lyric little bandbox of a ballpark.

Hey gang of race hustlers as a side hustle, this week’s Phrase that Pays is, “So you go have a picnic with your friend.”

There’s a 1 in 555 chance to catch a foul ball.

You up your units if you want to be my pretend online clamdicapper, toots.

Also, it’s hilarious that WEEI fired the gay dude and then the black dude. But Chris fucking Curtis is the indispensable man, though.

These media losers built their audiences off of the Patriots’ success. Gravy train’s slowing down, fuckos. Better make sure those résumés are up to date.

I dial it in and tune the station.
They talk about the U.S. inflation.
I understand just a little.
No comprende, it’s a riddle.

I’m on a Mexican radio,
I’m on a Mexican radio.

Speaking of Southern New Hampshire, I recently realized Ryan Day is married to Stan Spirou’s daughter.

‘Cloaca’ is always good for a laugh.

Yes Ma, I’ll look for the hams at the Market Basket. Yes, I know, the gold foil ones, not the red.

Pussy willows!

Honk if you remember Panamanian baseball infielder Rennie Stennett, one of 3 players to collect 7 hits in a MLB game.

I bet that Kim Mulkey goes through a carton of Misty’s a day.

Oh no. Don’t throw me into the briar patch.

Willis Reed hasn’t pulled a Pat Burns yet? If anyone was going to, it would have been him.

Camden Yards has good corn dogs.

Nature Fact: If you look closely at the tropical plants in the big box home improvement stores you will sometimes see an anole that hitched a ride.

So Pesach is the same as Passover? Good to know.

Will the April Fools Miracle be the high point of the Red Sox season?

You leave that big white goon alone.

Best bet for the weekend; a LIV guy not winning The Masters.

The15 would like to thank outgoing Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin for her service.

Material from interviews, wire services, Twitter, Meta, other writers, league and team sourcesBill James, BSMW poster Hacksaw, plus the members of #the15 were used in this column. Sooner or later, your legs give way, you hit the ground.

And Happy Birthday to American-British actress Hayley Atwell.

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